Taxing Time RPG
by Mrs Wizzard
Summary: Terry Pratchett Message Board RPG, probably our most interesting one yet! The tax office is open once again in Ankh-Morpork, and none are too happy about it, all new characters with compelling side plots!
1. Chapter 1

**Once again, we're back with probably our most interesting RPG yet. Written by the very talented boardies at the Terry Pratchett Message Boards on (the format of the board has changed drastically since this was written, thus all the threads from the old board were deleted, so unfortunately this is the only place you can view the RPG, 'cause I was quick enough to save it all to my computer) This was another RPG that was left unfinished, simply because some of the players had too much going on in real life to keep up with it, but it's still enjoyable, albeit darker than usual, enjoy! **

**The players are as follows:**

**Nathan – **_**Jake**_

**Talbot – **_**Toothy**_

**Verurteilen (Ver-ur-tye-len, it's German, look it up ;) ) – **_**MrsWizzard (Me)**_

**Illyah – **_**Thumpy**_

**Candice – **_**Adie**_

**Sasha – **_**Jeannie**_

**Kayla – **_**Jock**_

**Mirabell – **_**Mina **_

Nathan sat on a chair and squinted into the bright light. He wasn't sitting there because he was tired or even because he particularly enjoyed being there, but rather because he was tied to it. At this precise moment he was trying to figure out where exactly the day had gone wrong, and was beginning to think it had been a mistake getting out of bed.

"You know, there are some people that might call this police brutality."

There was a pause that was just a little too long to be ominous and spoke rather of someone thinking very hard.

"Are any of those people in this room?"

Nathan thought about his answer and decided that yes or no were both bad ideas.

"I don't know, I can't see anything but the light your shining at me."

There was a whispered conversation which Nathan didn't even strain to listen in on, he Just sat and waited. Finally the light flicked off and as the purple and blue lights flashed in front of his eyes a voice spoke. This voice belonged to a formless mass that dodged between the purple and blue lights, it was a far shrewder voice.

"I am sergeant Roberts of the Ankh-Morpork city watch."

There was a pause as though he expected Nathan to clap at this information or perhaps quail in fear. Nathan was too busy wondering why this sergeant had just stated that he was part of the watch. How could Nathan not realise that, he was in a watch house, or more accurately, below one. The sergeant cleared his throat and continued.

"You have been accused of two counts of interfering with a professional in the execution of his duties and possibly murder. What do you have to say for yourself?"

First came relief, they had finally told him why they had dragged him out of his house and brought him down here, some of the questions the other voice had been asking him suddenly began to make sense. As what the sergeant said finally sank in though Nathan's relief swiftly went from incredulity to anxiety and hovered between the two.

"Hey. Wait. What? Possibly murder?"

Nathan remarked, very eloquently he thought, considering the circumstances.

"It says here that the Guild of Assassins has made a complaint about you. They claim that two contracts on two separate occasions were taken out on you. Each assassin that was sent after you has not been seen since, I believe they are quite put out."

Nathan blinked trying to take in what he'd just been told. It was true that Nathan's job occasionally brought him in contact with unsavoury characters, but who would want to kill him? A rival? A disgruntled customer? Actually thinking harder about it Nathan realised that there were in fact quite a few people that would like to see him lying face down on top of the Ankh.

"They were put out? Well I'm sorry they weren't able to kill me."

The sergeant, who Nathan was beginning to realise might sound shrewd but had no concept of sarcasm nodded curtly.

"Well it's too late for apologies now, they want to know what you've done with their students."

Again Nathan blinked and wondered if he was having a nightmare and if he was, he'd really like to wake up about now. Of course he did know about the assassins but he had come to the conclusion that saying it other than in the privacy of his own head would be a very big mistake.

"I don't know."

Roberts' eyes narrowed, it was clear he did not trust Nathan which was good as it was something that Nathan didn't always do himself.

"Really, well I think we'll extend you an invitation in the yard all the same, until we manage to clear things up."

A number of different responses piled through Nathan's mind "You can't do that", "That's unfair" which frankly seemed childish and "I'm innocent". Were a few of them, however what eventually came out was.

"What?"

A lumbering troll came forwards, hoisted him up and half dragged him away. He really didn't like police and to have them looking at his house and into his job could have the potential for making things very awkward. As the cell door closed behind him Nathan realised this was really not his day at all. 

Down in The Shades, Talbot Grume stared into an alarming set of snarling teeth, bared menacingly by their owner. The aging werewolf had a very, very short temper and an equally limited capacity for mercy. Even the more robust residents of The Shades would hope never to find themselves eyeball to teeth with Old Maurice. He had a 'colourful' history.

Talbot turned away slowly and picked up a small long handled mirror and a probe.

"Now, Mr Maurice, open wide and let's see if there's been any damage. You had a nasty bump on the mouth, you say?"

"Gnrrrrrrnrrrnrnrr".

"Oh, really? A tree branch. Well, you know, if anyone can repair it, I can."

Humming gently to himself, the young dentist stepped forward and began methodically to check his patient's teeth, one by one. He seemed oblivious to the nature of the species sitting tensely in the chair in front of him and even to the impressive array of elongated incisors on display as Old Maurice dutifully opened his mouth just that little bit wider than the average Shades resident. Talbot didn't seem to notice. In fact, he seemed generally unaware of the world bustling around him. As long as he had a patient in the chair and the tools of his trade to hand, he was content to inhabit the solitary and dreamy world of his inner mind.

The moon had been well hidden behind heavy clouds for the past half hour and Old Maurice was feeling quite placid. He trusted Talbot and needed to keep his own original tools of the trade in good condition. Dentures just didn't 'cut it'. A sudden tap on the offending molar elicited a warning snarl.

"Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Aha! That must be the one, Mr Maurice. Now, where did I put that syringe."

Talbot turned away once more to search for the anaesthetic. He didn't like to be distracted in his work by sounds of pain. It was off-putting. Now where was that syringe?

The moon slowly began to emerge, a thin shaft of light illuminating the instruments on the aged oak table nearby. Slowly, the narrow beam moved inexorably towards the reclining chair, highlighting the hair on Old Maurice's arm. Almost imperceptibly, the tips of his teeth began to sharpen…

Waverly stood in the pitch black alley's mouth, fiddling nervously with his hat. It wasn't that he was in the middle of the shades, or even that it was the middle of the night, but it was more about who he was here to see that set him a bit on edge. He knew the rules, wait until you are called, stand quietly, no questions asked, and most importantly, never speak unless you are spoken to, and now he was growing more and more nervous with each passing second that he wasn't beckoned,

"Vell, don't just stand zere," came a raspy voice from the deep shadows of the alleyway, "Come in or go avay, I do not tolerate those who vaste my precious time" Wavely looked around quickly to make sure that no one was watching, before reluctantly stepping into the alleyway. He approached a shadow that seemed to be darker than the others and stopped

"Do not be so edgy, Mr. Vaverly," said the voice. Moonlight glinted off fangs as they grinned at the man cowering before them.

"The Assassin's guild will be on you and I if they see us here, my lady," he quavered. The toothy smile broadened, much to Waverly's discomfort.

"Do not vorry yourself about ze Assassin's guild, Mr. Vaverly," the fangs said, "Now, let us discuss vhat you are here for. Tell me again about zis 'contract' you vish me to take out against your vife."

"I will pay the sum of three thousand dollars," Waverly said, "I assure you, my lady, not a penny less." There was a few moments of silence before the fangs grinned a bit wider and took a few steps forward, causing Waverly to propell himself back a few steps

"Zis is an intruiging offer, Mr. Vavelry," said the approaching voice, now revealing a pair of silver eyes, "and I know you to be a man of your vord, but" the eyes and fangs suddenly lashed out and Waverly gave a short scream, which echoed off the walls of the alley, as he felt something sharp stab him beneath his ribs, and collapsed, his last sight being that of the silver eyes and fangs, both smiling.

"but, I'm afraid, zat Mrs. Vaverly has made me a much better offer, goodbye, Mr. Vaverly." and with that, Verurteilen pulled the brim of her hat down to cover her eyes, and jumped up, disappearing into the night

Illya sat on the roof of his boarding house like he did most nights, staring up at the twinkling lights above. He'd brought a small dinner of sorts and a blanket to make himself comfortable and simply watched.

Above him, the lights danced and winked on and off, moving slowly across the back-drop of night. He'd come out at night like this for as long as he could remember; as a child his mother gone frantic one night thinking he'd run off or been kidnapped. In the morning they'd found him out in the field, alseep in his blanket. He tried to tell them that he'd only wanted to see the lights, but mother had been a bit unreasonable about the whole thing.

Today there was nobody to worry about him, he could stay out as long as he liked.

Well, as long as he liked providing that he was able to wake up and get to work in the morning.

Work. Great.

Illyah, or Sergeant Kuryakin as he known to most, was the Supply Sergeant of the City Watch. He'd been with the Watch for some twenty years, eighteen of them behind a desk and he knew everything there was to know about the Watch - as long as it involved uniforms, armor, boots or pencils.

_There has to be something more,_ he thought to himself as he pondered the future. _I can't just sit and count arrow tips all day._

He had though. Marie had said once that all he would do for the rest of his life is sit in that office, read off lines of numbers and count arrow tips. "It's not like you even use them anyway! What good are arrow tips to the Watch? For the love of the gods - go do something with your life!"

But he hadn't - and she left shortly after. Now, years later, he was finally getting it. There must be something else out there for him.

Spreading out the blanket on the roof top, he made himself comfortable as he gazed once more into the heavens.

_There has to be something else._

Candice slept. It had been a while since she'd last had a proper nights sleep, and would probably be a while longer yet. The kind of sleep she normally got never helped - despite how often she did it, sleeping during daylight hours was always a hard task. But the life style called for it. Even now it was a horrible restless sleep, as she kept waking up everytime she shifted. Something didnt feel right.

Her bed was amazingly comfortable and unamzingly expesive. Her fatheer had gone to a lot of effort to get it, so feathers in everything and silk sheets were the norm. Such a warm, comfortable bed... Candice was actually feeling rather cold, and through the throbbing headache she had realised that she'd kicked the doona off in her sleep. Hand searching for it, she found insttead a ratty old blanket. Her eyes opened fast, and she took in her surroundings.

_oh crap it wasnt a dream_

Through the blurry vision caused by the hangover Candice took in her surroundings. Three plain brick walls and one barred one greeted her, much to her dismay. Yep, she'd definatly been arrestetd last night.

The memories of what had happened came flooding back. One of the newer pubs in the City had paid her a lot of money to show up and party there for a few hours, as they'd realised that any place she visited immediatly became one of THE most popular places for young rich socialites to visit. Candice had shown up, drunk too much, posed for a few iconographers who took iconographs for the Really Well Known People weekly book and then...

And then. That was the bit she was unsure of. A vague recollection of taking her coach from her driveer while he wasnt looking and attempting to drive it herself came to mind, and then the absolute mayhem caused by said coach somehow ending up on its roof follwed that memory shortly after. Candice didnt know why she'd gotten arrested for that though, afterall, she'd done it a few times before.

Finally, she noticed the pile of clothing and the newspaper that had been placed at the door. Both were quite welcome. Attempting to reach the paper from the bench she was lying on, she overbalanced and fell to the ground. At least it was within reach now. She pulled it close, and glanced at teh front page. A piture of her accident was the main feature. Daddy was not going to be impressed.

Sasha was running, dodging past the carts and people that littered the streets of the city. The occasional curse followed her from the odd citizen that she hadn't been so successful in dodging but there was no time for her to stop and apologise, although even if she was out on a lazy octday stroll the likelihood of Sasha apologising for anything was as remote as Dibbler actually selling anything that could be classed as edible

A few feet back the reason for Sasha's getaway was keeping up with her remarkably well, weaving through the throng of obstacles and not taking his eyes of her for a second. The sunlight glinted off his shiny badge, his helmet had been discarded as too much of a hindrance, largely due to the watch policy of 'One size fits none'.

_Must be a rookie, too damn keen to be a regular officer_

even her thoughts seemed to pant with the exertion as she skidded around yet another corner, her heart feeling like it was going to burst out of her chest. Finally she saw her salvation a few feet away, she had just enough time to duck into the tiny stinking alley, trying not to wheeze too hard as she pressed her back up against the wall trying to ignore the slime covering the bricks, she was sure at one point it moved under her hands.  
>Sure enough the tall figure of the pursuing watchman raced straight past the alley, Sasha stayed still until his running footsteps had faded away up the narrow street. She rested her head against the wall and grinned to herself, her chest rising and falling as she sought to get her breath back. Her hair had fallen loose of the plait she had tied it in this morning and now long tendrils hung erratically around her face, she brushed them impatiently out of her eyes and walked quietly back onto the street looking cautiously at the direction the rookie had run in. She turned and began to sprint in the opposite direction, she manged to run about two feet before she ran into a wall.<p>

The force knocked her back onto her backside and she looked up at the immovable object she had collided with. Not in fact a wall, but probably just as solid. The figure of Captain Carrot loomed over her, Sasha groaned. The effect Carrot had on her reminded her of the old woman who had lived two doors down from Sasha's family when she had been a small girl. Feeling for a brief moment as if she was five years old again and had dissapointed people with her bad behaviour, Sasha stood up, shook off the feeling, set her mouth in a determined expression and tried to sidestep around the Captain. A gentle yet immovable hand took hold of the top of her right arm. She tried to pull away, realised it was futile and sighed dramatically.

"Miss Sasha, I'm afraid you need to accompany me to the watch house."

Sasha feined wide eyed innocence

"What? Why? I haven't done anything, just minding my own business then one of your men started chasing me." She sniffed to add a bit of emotion to her drama "What's the city coming too when a young woman can't walk down the street with being stalked by a young man"

Admittedly Lance-constable Murphy had been following Sasha because she had been careless during her 'business' in the morning city crowds, pick-pocketing was illegal if you were non-guild and so as soon as Lance-constable Murphy had asked to see her guild card Sasha had, quite sensibly seeing as she didn't have one, bolted.

Captain Carrot was not stupid however, and soon Sasha found herself being dragged kicking and screaming into the watch house and down to the cells...okay, what actually happened was that she had been escorted quite civilly to the watch house, and Carrot had even offered her a cup of tea whilst she waited at the desk. Any chance of a grand entrance, with her spitting and cursing the stinking coppers who had dragged her to jail was also scuppered as he jovially walked her to an empty cell, held the door open for her and locked it up whilst telling her what was on the menu for lunch that day. Unbelievable, a copper being so civil. It was enough to shake her belief in human nature.

Scowling at nothing in particular, just annoyed she had got caught, Sasha sat down on the chair in her cell and took a good look through the bars at the occupants in the other cells

Verurteilen stalked the shadows, quite gracefully, completely out of sight of the idle watcher. She coutened her money as she stalked along. Mrs Waverly had only been too keen to pay her for her trouble.

Admittedly, she probaly should have hid the body rather than just leaving it in the alleyway, but she felt that would have lacked elegance and drama, something which the assassin's guild thought they were teaching, but even thinking about getting a liscence to go around and be an assassin just wasn't..proper! That was the trouble was with the assassin's guild, they just weren't proper assassins! It was all lessons this and exams that, these days, and true assassination was not an art that could be taught, it was a natural skill, you either had it or you didn't, and Verurteilen had it, neither the assassin's guild nor the city watch frightened her.

The sound of running feet and the form of a woman sped by Verurteilen, the sound of watch officers followed closely behind

"Still," Verurteilen said to herself, "It vould not be a vad idea to avoid them"

With one graceful leap, Verurteilen was off the ground, and landed elegantly on the top of a boarding house

Kayla was lost. She knew she should have stuck to the wide boulevards and recognisable buildings, but after the thief had taken her purse one thing had led to another, and now she was pretty sure she was in the Shades. She had a keen eye and had spotted the thief's getaway and followed keenly behind, thinking maybe to retrieve the 10 AM$ she had scrounged from her parents before taking off the previous day. After tailing her for an hour, Kayla had had thoughts only for the thief, which was probably why she hadn't seen the second thief, not as gentle as the first, who had quickly relieved her of her emergency dollar, leaving a dazed girl lying in a gutter. Now she was hungry, having not eaten for a day, and darkness had fallen bringing the rise of the full moon alongside the Tower of Art. She stumbled through the dark streets, holding the fear back from her face thought her fingers trembled, but couldn't hide the relief in her features when she spotted a small alley. Kicking every sack and box to check she wouldn't be accompanied by any unwanted sleepers, she settled into a dry corner, making herself as small as possible, and drifted into a disturbed sleep. 

Nathan looked up from the newspaper he had managed to scrounge off of a guard and saw the genial captain Carrot escorting a young lady. They had brought another woman in during the night, but Nathan hadn't moved to take a better look at her as the wreak of alcohol that washed over him as she was carried past had told him all he needed to know. Leaving the paper on the narrow bench, Nathan walked to the bars to take a better look at the newest addition to the little group.

"It's very kind of you to visit me."

He remarked to the figure of Sasha sitting in the chair.

Nathan was a tall man with features that were handsome but not distinguishing. If you tried to describe him to someone they would just get a vague image of a tall good looking man. His eyes were a dark grey but in the torch light were a burnt orange. His clothes were of good quality, if a little scuffed and battered from their recent adventures. He gave Sasha a quick smile that spoke of genuine trustworthiness. Nathan was proud of his smiles, he needed to be trusted in his line of business or if not trusted then at least able to put people he spoke to at ease and the people he spoke to weren't generally easily 'eased'.

"I know what your thinking, but I've not done anything wrong, I'm helping police with their enquiries, look."

He raised his hands, the wrists of which were both tied a reasonable length of rope hanging between them so he could move them a little.

"They loosened the ropes."

Lowering them again Nathan slipped into the charismatic rote he maintained.

"I'm Nathan, Nathan Spree, Unfortunately I wasn't consulted on what name I would prefer."

He flashed another quick smile, this one was a slightly different smile though it was a private smile that gave you the impression you were intruding just by seeing it. It disappeared faster than the last though and the three of them were left in silence again.

Sasha looked over at the man who was speaking to her, she brushed back the strands of hair that insisted on falling in her face every two minutes and looked at him carefully. He had a very trustworthy smile, so Sasha immediatly dis-trusted him. Although to be fair, Sasha didn't trust anyone, not even herself. After all she'd gone and got herself locked up, so that just showed she couldn't be trusted

She grinned at his bindings "They must be expecting you to be very helpful"

Her hair fell down again and she scowled it it before brushing it back. It was a deep blonde colour and she wore it long, with the idea that is was easy to tie up out of her way, although her hair didn't seem to understand this and plagued her at every opportunity. Her eyes were blue, but not the usual 'blue as cobalt/a summers sky/a limpid pool', just a blue so dark they could almost be called smoky. There was nothing truly remarkable about her appearance, she wasn't exceptionally beautiful or hideously ugly which suited her down the the ground, a gorgeous pickpocket would never be overlooked enough to actually get on with her work. She was simply attractive enough to feel comfortable with herself but not enough that she attracted unwanted attention in a crowd. Her clothes were the practical kind, easy to run and climb in, she wore well fitted clothes but again this was practicality, the last thing a illegal thief wanted was clothes baggy enough to snag or catch on anything during a job or getaway. Not brightly coloured enough to jog anyones memory during a typical days work.

She smiled at Nathan and introduced herself

"I'm Sasha, Sasha Vine. I'm here because of a misundertanding"

_Like misunderstanding there was a watchofficer behind me when I filched that purse_

Illyah had dozed off at some point; he often did that during his quiet moments on the roof. Something had woken him - he was the kind that could sleep through anything once he was settled - but what that something was he couldn't tell.

The rooftop was completely dark as the little light from the street lamps didn't extend too far. He considered getting up and making his way to his bed, but couldn't motivate himself to stand up.

_Just a little bit longer._

Losing himself once more, Illyah began to drift off again. 

Verurteilen stood up to her full height and looked around in the darkness. She could hear the sound of the officer's feet as they ran away, probaly not having even noticed her. She smiled in the darkness. Those watch officers were so oblivious these days

Suddenly, she became aware of another heart beating besides her own on the roof. She looked over her shoulder and saw the sleeping form of a man on the roof with her, just barely visible in the moonlight. She walked over to him and looked down at him. Suddenly, a thought struck her. It had been a while since she had last eaten, and her fangs began to tingle at the sight of his unbitten neck. It was always easier for her when they were asleep, it saved for the trouble of all of that worthless screaming. Her toothy grin broadened for a moment, before she was interrupted by the presence of another beating heart approaching

Verurteilen looked over the edge of the roof and saw yet another watch officer walking along the street. Remembering something, Verurteilen reached into her cloak and pulled out an iconograph, she looked from the picture to the officer walking away and laughed to herself. She could still feel his heart beating, but she would be sure to remedy that. She leapt off of the roof and landed silenly behind the retreating corporal

"Corporal Mawler Sardent?" she whispered, he stopped and turned at the sound of his name, but it was too late. A moment later his corpse was laying in the street with a knife wound in his stomach, and to bite marks on his neck. Verurteilen walked away, wiping her mouth

Candice hadnt realised there were other people in the cells near her, and glanced up when she heard them talking. Across and to the left was an attractive but forgettable male tied to a chair - Nathan, she'd heard him say. She got up off the floor and walked to the bars to see who he was talking to. A blonde woman..._Sasha_... was in next to her.

Candice was attractive, and wasnt forgettable. People remembered what she looked like and who she was, even before her face had been printed constantly in Really Well Known People. Her hairpins had been confiscated before she was put into the cell (they were dangerous, apparantly...) so her mid length, straight, dark brown hair was framing her face. Candice never wore makeup - she'd discovered a while ago she looked better without it. Her eyes were amazingly green, and she was proud of them - in her oppinion, they were her best feature. Candice knew how attractive it was, and it didnt matter what she wore... She glanced down at what she WAS wearing. Her dress was expensive, and to her dismay, ruined.

One of the guards on duty in lockup had noticed she was awake, and came running over with a cup of coffee.

"Here you go Miss Meehan" he said, handing it over "I thought you might need it. So sorry to see you in here, my wife thinks you're fantastic."

"thankyou" she replied, and took a sip. It was just what she needed. The guard walked off. Candice moved away from the bars, placed the cup on the bench, and, ignoring anyone who could possibly see her, started to get changed. 

"Just a sharp scratch, Mr Maurice!

Talbot was puzzled. The syringe was ready but where had the patient gone? The chair was empty. Oh dear. Another one frightened off by the needle! He sighed and was just about to replace the syringe on the table when he heard an unpleasant snarling coming from somewhere in the room.

"Hello? Is that you, Mr Maurice? You really mustn't make such a fuss about a little injection. It's very quick and much much better than a painful tooth."

A long shadow in the corner of the room seemed suddenly to grow larger and Talbot moved towards it looking puzzled. He felt a strange tension in the air and the snarling grew louder. Two bright yellow orbs were glistening in the darkness and there was a sudden bounding movement… just as the surgery door was flung open to reveal the shape of Igor in the entrance. At that moment a "Grrrrr…Ooooofff" was heard from behind the heavy door followed by the sound of a body sliding down the wall.

"Good evening, Mithter Grume. Thorry if I thurprithed you. I've got quite a few errandth to run tho had to thtart out early thith evening. What'th that noithe?"

Igor closed the door to reveal the crumpled heap of Old Maurice lying there, a dazed expression on his hairy face.

"Thorry, thur. I can't help making a dramatice entranthe. It'th tradithion. Are you alright?"

Between them, Igor and Talbot lifted the werewolf into the chair. The clouds had chosen this moment to drift in front of the moon once more and Maurice had reverted to his more 'normal' state, albeit a little more battered and bruised than a few moments ago and most definitely out for the count. Talbot surveyed the damage.

"I think he'll be alright, Igor, but you may have secured an extra tooth for your supplies this time. Just a moment."

With the werewolf oblivious to pain, Talbot took the opportunity to remove not one but now two damaged teeth and handed them to Igor, together with a small drawstring bag from an upper shelf. Old Maurice remained unconscious and peaceful.

"Here you go, Igor. And would you mind helping Mr Maurice home? I don't think he's in a fit state to go unaided?"

"Of courthe, Mithter Grume. I've got to path hith houthe on the way to my nektht athignment."

Igor lifted the werewolf onto his shoulders as if it weighed no more than a feather and, touching what would have been a forelock, had he had one, departed.

Talbot cleaned his dental instruments, arranged them neatly on the table and took his coat from a hook on the wall by the door. Time to head on home. It had been a long evening's surgery. Satisfying himself that everything was ready for the following day's work, he set out into the night, locking the surgery behind him.

Daydreaming (or rather night-dreaming) as usual, he would have had an uneventful stroll home if it hadn't been for the body he stumbled over shortly after he'd passed a small alleyway a few streets later…

Verurteilen idly tossed the iconograph picture of the coporal over her shoulder as she walked on, it was turning out to be a very profitable night. Deciding that she had served her duty for the night, Verurteilen decided to return to the makeshift alleyway that she called home. She stalked along the midnight dark streets until she came to the mouth of the alleyway. She suddenly stood frozen in her place as she spotted the dark form of someone stumbling over the body of what had once been Mr. Jacob Waverly

Moving quickly, but silently, Verurteilen suddenly materialized behind the man and held one of her various hidden knives up to his throat

"I have taken two live zis night," she hissed into his ear, "It vill make no difference for me to take vone more, unless you tell me vhat you are doing here, and who you are, zen I might just spare your life for zis night"

Mirabell Wren was sitting nervously in Lord Downey's office. She was in Trouble with a capital T. Lord Downey looked up and started speaking as her main tutor looked on.

"You are fully aware, are you not, that due to the recent circomstance, all students are forbidden from accepting contracts?"

"Yes sir."

"You were in full possession of these facts, yet yout still decided to accept a comission on the lawyer Mr Greenslade?"

Mirabell swallowed nervously, "Yes sir."

"With the intent of decieving the Guild and keeping payment which rightfully belonged to the guild?"

Here was a chance to explain! "No sir."

"No?" Downey looked at her questioningly.

"No sir, I would have paid it in the form of an anonyous donation, besides none of the money was for-"

"No matter," he interrupted "you attempted to pull the wool over our eyes. You acted illegally. Worse, you displayed enthusiasm."

Mirabell really did not like the way this was going.

"Enthusiastic assassins are no better than mass murderers. You should know that." Downey glanced at Mirabell's tutor, who nodded. "Assassins do not actively seek jobs, they are Approached. Since you did not have the Guild's approval, technically you have acted as an unlicenced assassin, and you know our outlook on those." Downey looked grave.

_Ok, now I'm really in deep trouble!_ Mirabell started shaking, she had heard Stories of what happened to unlicenced assassins.

There was a long silence before Mirabell's tutor finally took pity and continued  
>"We will be leniant this time for two reasons: firstly because you did not succeed, and secondly because you are a student here. Do not expect this to save you a second time."<p>

Mirabell let out a sigh of relief and nodded gratefully.

"But from now on you are banned from the black syllabus. You are to be suspended until further notice."

She began to panic again, this was terrible.

Downey spoke again "Before we make this final, do you have any explanation for your actions?"

She took a deep breath and started to speak quickly:  
>"I-I-I.. I had to! My family have no more money, they spent it on my Education here. They thought it would be an investment, after all, assassins are never short of money.. But they ran out too soon. I wanted to help them, and now you've taken away any ability I would have had to help them" she then added "That's why I took the job. Honest! I just wanted to help them." Mirabell didn't cry, because assassins didn't, but that didn't mean to say she didn't feel like it.<p>

Lord Downey and the tutor looked at each other.

"You should have thought of that before. However.. there may be another solution" said Lord Downey slowly.

"Yes?"

"The Patrician needs new ..clerks, if you see what I mean, Things happened to the old ones. And one thing that assassins are good at is surviving Things. No one took him up on the offer, but I will inform him that you have volunteered."

"I have?" asked Mirabell, puzzled.

"Good! And who knows, when all that's all over, we may have changed our minds about your suspension eh?" Downey's eyes twinkled, and Mirabell couldn't help thinking that he seemed relieved. Still, she had no other option, so she nodded reluctantly.

"Go back to your room and pack. Someone will tell you what to do shortly."

Thankful, Mirabell, who preferred to be called Meera, scuttled off before Downey changed his mind.

"Well that's another problem solved" said Downey as he closed the door behind her.

Another quick smile flashed across Nathan's face once more.

"Yeah, those misunderstandings are a pain."

He would have continued but as he opened his mouth to speak again a guard entered followed closely by a figure clad completely in black. Despite himself Nathan took a tentative step back, becoming all too aware that he was in a cage and had no means of escape. The watch officer looked unhappy, it was obviously not usually allowed for civilians to come down here, but who was brave enough to say no to an assassin. The two locked gazes and for a long while the only sound was the spluttering torches and the nervous jingle of the watch officers keys.

"Where are our members?"

Nathan had thought it a bad idea to tell the watch, to tell The Guild of Assassins was guaranteed suicide.

"I don't know." He replied, his stare unwavering "Who took out the contracts on me."

The assassin snorted and turned away in apparent disgust.

"Professional etiquette prevents me from telling you that."

He looked back to Nathan.

"However, I am sure another will be taken out. I might even consider giving them a discounted rate. Think about it and then see if you can remember where our members are."

Wit that the assassin dropped a card through the bars, turned and left without waiting for the guard to follow. Nathan stood still looking at the card, he was clearly angry, but he did not smack anything, merely stared at the car wit ha gaze that should, by rights, have had it bursting into flames. Finally though his head came up and when it did he was perfectly calm again.

"As I said, misunderstandings, a real pain."

Illyah sat at his desk, having arrived to work early after a decent enough sleep on the roof. He hadn't planned to be up there all night but it had been so clear and the weather wonderful. A cup of coffee, his only weakness, sat on his desk next to what was left of his paperwork.

He'd completed the Lost Property forms, the Investigation Into Lost Property reports, the Issuance of Replacement Property documentation and was just signing the Purchase Order to Replace Replaced Property Inventory request.

"Strap, chin, helmet, size medium, one each." Satisfied that all was in order, he retrieved a new chin strap from the locker and placed it, with a copy of all the forms, reports, requisitions and requests into the envelope with the name of the careless officer on the front. Placing the envelope in the out tray next to the door, he sat down again to enjoy a quick sip.

Everything in its place and in its time, no less, had been his mantra all of his adult life. It kept the books clean, the supplies accounted for...and his socks organized. He felt people didn't pay nearly enough attention to their socks these days.

People didn't pay attention to much of anything these days in fact. They didn't see the cracks in the roads, the walls in need of repair, the broken street lamps; 'character' they called it! A right mess is what he called it and something should be done. He had half a mind to send a letter to Vetinari outlining the need to repair some of the basic structure of the city. Okay, so maybe they didn't need water pumped into their homes _everyday_ , but they should at least expect to be able to walk down the street without falling into a great big chasm!

Something should be done about things like that. It's not right that the citizens of this fine city should have to live in such conditions.

_If I ever see that Vetinari, I'll give im a piece of my mind! It's just not right!_

It wasn't; just last week ol' Mr Johnston fell off the bridge onto the river! If he hadn't landed on a soft spot there could have been a real injury there. Nobody had bothered to report the loose whatsit because it wouldn't have been fixed anyway.

Oh well, it wasn't as if Illyah would ever actually have the opportunity to speak with the Patrician; supply sergeants never got assigned to palace details or invited to posh dinners.

He was just about to dig into the latest delivery of 'hammer, manually operated, right hand use, ten each,' when there was a knock at his door.

"Oy Sarge! Commander wants you take the new budget proposal up to the palace, says you have to personally hand it to Vetinari."

Before Illyah could protest, a package was pressed into his hand.

"You'll have a coach from the post office outside in two minutes."

"But I haven't finished my coffee yet."

"Yeah, a pain in the...ah, looks like it's my turn"

A young blonde woman in watch uniform had come down the steps and approached her cell. Sasha simply sat and watched as the door was unlocked and the woman stood in the opening with her arms folded. Sasha stood up

"Well, it's about time. You're here to tell me this is all a mix up and I'm free to go right?"

The woman with sergeant stripes simply gave a half smile

"Considering how many people want to press charges against you that's the funniest thing I've heard all morning." She produced a set of handcuffs and jingled them "You do get a complimentary set of bracelets though." Sasha could have protested but the woman's grip was so strong on her arms as she clasped the cuffs behind Sasha's back that she quickly dismissed the idea. Another smile from the officer as she stood back

"Huh, they suit you. Walk straight out of your cell and up the stairs please. It's time for a little chat about what exactly the Thieves Guild think of illegal theft"

_Damn it!_

She was escorted past the other cells towards the stairs that led back up the rest of the watch house. As she walked she looked at the woman lying on the ragged bed in one of the tiny barred rooms. Looked like she'd had a good night out , but before she could make any further observation Sasha was taken by the arm and firmly escorted upstairs then into a tiny office. The furniture was simple, a desk with a chair on either side and a pile of papers was the only thing occupying the wooden surface of the desk. Sasha was seated in one of the chairs and craned her neck to see what was on the papers whilst the officer took the seat opposite.

The woman had an unarguable air of authority about her, and lent back casually in her seat as she picked up the papers, re-read them infuriatingly slowly then looked over at Sasha over the top of them

"Let's get the formalities out of the way. I'm Sergeant Jeannie and you Sasha Vine are in deep trouble." she tossed the papers back onto the desk where they spread out slightly, Sasha resisted the urge to read them and instead kept her gaze firmly on the Sergeant whilst the woman read out the list of charges against her.

After a while Sasha's backside started to go numb and she had begun to wear a glazed look, when she realised the woman had stopped talking. She blinked and refocused

"So basically a lot of people think I robbed them, and the Thieves Guild want you to hand me over"

"In a nut shell, yes. I don't think you understand the severity of this situation. In the few months you have been in this city you have chalked up so many illegal thefts that I'm not even going to bother reciting the numbers. Despite the witnesses we have you have managed to evade arrest no less than six times and even the Thieves Guild couldn't figure out how to find you, you're lucky we caught up with you first"

Sasha shuddered, she knew the penalty dealt by the Thieves Guild on unlicensed thieves only too well. Yet she had carried on stealing anyway. She tutted at herself, some people just had to learn the hard way. Leaning forward she spoke in a stage whisper

"I tell you what, you accidentally release these cuffs and go get a cup of coffee. I'll slip out the door and be on the first coach out of here. You won't have to worry about all the tedious paperwork you'll have to fill in about me and the Thieves Guild wont have to waste their time looking for me and, most importantly I feel, I'll not end up decorating the Guild weather vane"

The sergeant gave her a raised eyebrow that Vetinari would have been proud of. Sasha sat back

"No? Okay, how about I turn Kings Evidence and tell you everything I know about the evil gang leader who corrupted me, who forced me into a life of crime to help fund his dastardly plan to take over the world..."

The same steely glare answered her question

"Not buying that one either huh? Okay, how about..."

"How about you shut up and listen. You are under arrest Miss Vine, every single name on this list belongs to someone who wants to press charges against you. You will be tried and then earn yourself a nice long stay at the luxury accommodation known as the Tanty."

"Did you just tell me to shut up? I'm sure you can't say that, that's probably a form of police brutality..."

The officer sighed, rubbed her face with her hands then stood up...

...A few moment later Sasha was once again in her cell, scowling at the back of the blonde haired officer as she returned upstairs with the rest of her fellow officers. She looked over at Nathan and shrugged

"There's just no talking to some people"

Talbot froze. The Shades was not a place to be waylaid, especially at night but, for reasons he had yet to fathom, Talbot's clients mainly seemed to ask for late appointments and he was familiar with the hazards of the journey home. With a sharp blade at his throat, he was acutely aware that compliance was a life-extending strategy as was responding to the questions he had just been asked... by a woman? Gulping slightly, he spoke.

"My name is Talbot Grume and I'm the local dentist. I was just on my way home from surgery. Er, can I help you?"

Almost imperceptibly, Talbot turned his head to the left and caught a glimpse of a sharp incisor glinting menacingly in the moonlight. While he was known for being somewhat 'vague' in everyday affairs, when it came to teeth, Talbot was an expert – the best – and _that_ tooth in particular looked very familiar…

Verurteilen sighed inwardly with relief. _At least he's not a vatch officer,_ she thought to herself, _I could make a fair case if I had a contract on his head, if he vere an officer, but even zen I'd still be in some deep trouble_

Verurteilen took her knife away from the man's throat, and spun him around to face her

"Listen, Mr. Grume," she hissed, replacing the blade in her cloak, "I am not a particularly evil vampire, and killing vithout payment is beyond my boundaries. You vere lucky zis night. I vish I could say ze same for him" she gestured toward Jacob Waverly's body still lying stone dead on the ground, "You seem like sensible man, Mr. Grume," she continued, "It vould do you good to forget zat you saw zat corpse, or I might just have to set aside my limits, or perhaps take on a still living meal" in the twinkling moonlight, she bared her fangs, that were still stained with the blood of corporal Sardent

Candice had just finished changing into a clean dress when she spotted the assassin with the guard, so she retreated back to the bench, hoping he wasnt there for , the assassin seemed more interested in Nathan. Although he acted cocky and unfazed, she'd seen his little step back. He was worried. But then, Candice reasoned, she'd be worried too if the assassins were interested in her. Daddy couldnt fix ALL her issues...

The assassin dissapeared, and soon after, a watchwoman appeared and started to speak to the blonde. Escorting her out of the cell, Candice managed to get a better glance of her neighbour. Then she lay back down and closed her eyes, as the coffee hadnt helped as much as she'd hoped.

Candice woke up when Sasha was brought back to the cells. She heard her comment, and grinned.

"You two are screwed" she laughed, then heard the entrance to the cells open again. A small amount of light spilled in, but was immediatly blocked out by a human wall.

The human wall was Steven Meehan. Most peoples first impression of Steven Meehan was that a troll had found human skin. The man was huge. he was also as scary as a troll, and the people who had to deal with him feared him as much as they did Chyropase*. He was a debt collecter, and a successful one at that. he didnt even need to use violence anymore, or even work himself. Just the threat of violence, usually passed on by one of his employees was enough to get his target to hand over what was owed. he charged a lot for this service, a lot more than his compeditors, but his work was 100% garunteed.

So the fact that it was Steven Meehan that was walking, unarrested, into the cell block and NOT one of his employees would worry most people. Candice wasnt though. He stopped outside her cell, and sighed. Candice grinned at the sight of him.

"Hi Daddy!"

*apologies for spelling... 

The clerk sat at his desk and straightened his papers, not because they needed straightening but just because he imagined that is what a busy clerk is supposed to do. At the moment he wasn't a busy clerk, he was a harassed clerk. Lord Vetinari was in his office and the clerk knew that in his schedule he was to meet a candidate to take on the roll of "Ankh-Morpork Tax Co-ordinator". The post had been advertised for as long as the clerk could remember and this was the first candidate that had applied for the job. The applicant was either very brave or very stupid, perhaps it was both. It certainly would take a 'special' person to want to take the job and the clerk couldn't help but be curious. His curiosity however was waning as time ticked by and no one arrived.

A few minutes later, once the clerk had developed a quick game involving a sheet of paper a file and two dollar coins, the door opened and in walked…a watch officer? He was carrying a package.

"At last" the clerk said tartly "where have you been? You're late"

With an air of someone who has better things to do with his time he walked quickly around the table, placed a firm hand on the back of the man who'd just entered and pushed him towards the oblong office. The man with the package was saying something, but the clerk was not listening, instead he knocked on the oblong office door opened it and thrust the man through, closing it behind him. The clerk wondered if he should take part in the sweepstake on how long the tax co-ordinator would survive.

Lord Vetinari looked out of the window at the bustling city below, all those people spending and making money. Vetinari knew that there many that thought the city worked oddly, but he would always point out that strange perhaps, but it worked. He heard the door open and shut and 'felt' the presence of someone else in the room, but still he did not turn. He placed his pen down and turned around.

"Good morning, I hear that you are interested in becoming tax co-ordinator for the city."

He sat down, not offering the man before him a seat.

"Tell me a few of your ideas."

Vetinari finally said, steepling his fingers.

Sasha watched the huge man walk across to the womans cell and was about reply with a childish "Hah! Now who's screwed?" when the woman greeted him as her father.

_Bugger_

Instead she resumed her sitting position and passed about five minutes by releasing her rebellious hair and re-tying it. It took all of about four seconds for the first stray tendril to tickle her nose, she blew it out of the way and it floated for a moment then drifted back down. She blew it again, and again...finally she got bored of the battle with the rogue tendril and she rested her elbows on her knees and leant forward cupping her chin with her hands. She looked down at the card on the floor of Nathans cell then looked up at him. Trouble with the Assassins Guild? Interesting. But even her natural curiosity knew better than to ask, besides a good mystery was fun, mainly to do with it being...well, mysterious really. Sasha shifted in her seat, beginning to feel bored now. She looked over at Nathan

"You finished with that newspaper?"

Sergeant Kuryakin had arrived at the palace by mail coach and was under the impression that he could have made better time walking the whole way.

To be told he was late on arrival was neither here nor there as there hadn't been a specified time set to deliver the budget. He'd tried to explain this to the clerk, but the man had hussled him into the office so quickly he barely had time to register where he was.

As soon as the door closed behind him, it became clear. The room was elegant, but not overly so; it had style, but also looked functional - practical might be the word. In fact everything he'd seen of the palace gave him the impression that it was designed by someone who thought government offices should be able to withstand an attack from several seige machines over the course of many months.

The Patrician had turned to look at him and Illyah got the distinct impression that he was the mouse - to Vetinari's cat.

"Tax coordinator? Oh no, sir, I'm just here to drop off the budget recommendations for the Watch, I...

_Hold on a second._

Hadn't he just been thinking not a few minutes ago that if he ever had the chance to give Vetinari a piece of his mind - he would?

_But no, that wouldn't be right somehow. I'm just a supply sergeant..._

"I'm just a supply sergeant, er _the_ supply sergeant for the Watch your lordship, I'm not a...that is to say I...

_Well now, go on - you started this!_

"Well, now that you mention it, I guess I _do_ have some ideas." Noticing that Vetinari had seated himself behind the desk - and not seeing a chair in front of the desk for himself, Illyah looked around until he spotted one against the far wall. Grasping the heavy chair and dragging it across the floor with all his strength, Illyah positioned himself directly in front of the Patrician.

"You see, your lordship, the way I figure it, people shouldn't be able to fall off'n the Brass Bridge because the whatsit was broken - that shoulda been fixed as soon as it fell off. And...and I don't think little ol' ladies should have to be afraid of goin' to market because of the horses and coaches takin' up the streets with no regard for people walkin' along mindin' their own business."

He was starting to warm up to this without even having to try.

"People need to be able to see when they walk at night; how are they supposed to tell when they're being robbed by an honest-to-goodness, card-carrying guild memeber? And there should be proper alleys and corners for assassins to hide in, not the kind we got through most of the city. Isn't right somehow! I think the citizens of this fine city should know that people like you, sir, your lordship...er, you know - are going to provide some basic services to them simply because they _are_ citizens. Heck, they could go live anywheres else, but they don't. They stay here 'cause this city is the best on the Disc and everyone knows it."

Then he went and stuck his foot in his mouth.

"So what if they have to pay a few dollars extra in taxes every month...I mean, year. They are paying to help you, sir, your lordship, you know - help them. I just think it's a shame that those wizards over in their fancy university don't help pay any taxes! That's just not right. Not right at all. The guilds can stand to pay a bit extra as well and all."

Had he been rambling? He wasn't sure.

"Anyway, if you ask me, I think we need better city services and a better way of making sure we have enough money in the city budget to pay for things like that."

He hadn't taken his eyes off of Vetinari the entire time he spoke, his hands gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white and only now did allow himself a chance to breathe.

The look from Vetinari hadn't changed at all. Had the man even blinked? Illyah couldn't tell.

"Sorry your lordship, it's just that I've been thinking about this a lot lately and it kind of gets my hair up."

Setting the Watch proposal on the desk, Illyah finally sat back in the chair and contemplated his future as an ex-Watch officer once Vimes heard about this. 

Talbot looked into the mouth of his assailant. Very little surprised him these days, only…

_My word those are spectacular teeth!_

"Fine. Fine. Er. Thank you… I think. Er… I hope you won't consider me impertinent but I'm something of a dental connoisseur and I feel compelled to say that you have the most impressive incisors I have ever seen! Beautiful, in fact!"

He had been about to step forward for a closer look but a distant relative of instinct knocked very firmly somewhere inside his brain to alert him to the fact that that might just be a foolish, if not terminal movement. He recovered his balance and stood still.

"Yes. Er… beautiful. Thank you. I'd make sure you keep up a good dental routine, if I were you. Oh, and my practice has some very eminent clients. The Magpyrs always fly in whenever they're in town. I'd be honoured if you ever chose to grace my surgery. Yes. Hmmm."

_They really were works of art, those teeth._

Just at that moment, Talbot became aware of Igor standing beside him.

_When did he arrive?_

"Thorry to intrude, Thur, Madam, but doeth anyone want that body? There'th thome utheful thpare partth on it and it would be a thame to wathte them."

Talbot shook his head, shrugged and, with a brief smile at Verurteilen, resumed his journey home. Before turning the corner at the end of the street, he looked around briefly to see Igor still busy, investigating the potential of the corpse.

Verurteilen almost jumped back when Talbot began talking. This wasn't how it usually went. It usually resulted in the offending person bolting off in terror, but here this madman stood there talking about her _teeth!_

"Er, thank you," she said, uncertainly, "I think. Er, yes, maybe I vill stop by sometime."

She stood there for a few moments, as she watched Talbot walk away, and began trying to figure out what on earth had just happened, until she noticed the Igor examining the corpse that was still on the ground

"You might as vell take him," she said, absently, "It vould actually ve doing me a favor, no use for good advertising, having my clientele lingering around ze place..Er, enjoy, I guess."

Rubbing her head in some mild confusion, Verurteilen edged her way into the alleyway, leaving the Igor to his work, or whatever it was he was planning to do with the body. She stepped into her three walled home and tossed her hat absently to one corner. She looked into the piece of a broken mirror that she had hanging on one of the back walls, and she saw reflected back at her in the glistening moonlight, what could have actually been cleaner and shinier fangs

_Madman or not,_ she thought to herself, _he seemed to know what he was talking about..perhaps tomorrow_ she sighed and made herself comfortable in the far back corner, behind some trash cans, and, undoing her hair tie, let her dark brunette hair cascade down in a waterfall around her shoulders. She sat in the darkness, using her hat as a makeshift pillow

Candice's father had been let into the cell to sit with her.

"what do you mean they're not letting me out?" Candice was shocked. She'd honestly thought that all the punishment she was going to get was the night she'd spent in the cells. As far as she was concerned, she hadnt done anything that was really wrong. little known to her, the accident she'd caused had disrputed most of the traffic flow of the city, and flow on effects had affected it all day.

Her father sighed. "this is the third time you've done this. They've stopped believing that you'll learn this time. I'm sorry Candy, but you wont get off with just a warning this time."

She was devastated.

"Then what?"

"i'm working on getting you community service or a good behaviour bond."

"oh." She was about ready to cry. He pulled her close to comfort her.

"I'll see if i can get you out in the meantime. It hurts me to see you in here. But if i do, they're not going to want you heading out partying. you'll have to keep a low profile."

He stood up to leave. "Hang in there. I'll make sure you're looked after."

He left, and the door was locked behind him.

Sasha grinned at the woman in the other cell as her father left. She crossed her arms and carried on grinning, trying to suppress...no here it came...

"Hah! Now who's screwed?"

She nodded to herself in satisfaction, and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

Kayla woke to a cold morning, the night's chill not quite gone from the winter air. As she slowly came to, her stomach once again reminded her of the food she hadn't eaten and her numb fingers and toes of her clever forgetting of any form of blanket. Rising to her feet, she spotted a figure sharing her alley, and carefuly stepped around it before making off into the city.

Verurteilen shifted in her sleep, causing her hat to fall out from behind her head, and her head to collide with the wall. She sat bolt upright, rubbing her sore head, and focused her eyes in time to see a girl walking out of the alley. She simply shrugged as the girl left, and leaned back against the wall

Like she said, Verurteilen was not a particularly evil vampire. She didn't like many people, her job as a nonguild assassin usually keeping her on the run, and the people hiring her simply came to her for the business, not the company. Still, she supposed, it couldn't be all that bad, her job kept her well fed, though, admittedly, she preffered a living meal to the cold lifeless necks of her victims

Deciding that now that her mind was active, and that she'd never get back to sleep because of it, Verurteilen sat up and looked up to the sky

_A vit cloudy today,_ she thought, _Vut, I should probaly take my hat vith me, anyvay_

With a yawn, Veurteilen stood up and stretched, before tying her hair back with her black ribbon,* putting her wide brimmed hat on, and walking out of the alley into the new morning

*a real ribbon, Verurteilen would curse herself the day she actually joined a vampire support group 

Candice was about to reply with an equally childish comment, but instead bit her tongue*, and sat down, suddenly looking very scared and lost. Her head bowed slightly, hair falling in her face, she seemed to project this aura of innocence.

within moments of her doing so, a bright light filled the cell block. The light dissapeared as quickly as it had arrived. THen the sound of running feet, follewed by an 'Oof', the universal noise of someone who's lost all their air because a fat man landed on them.

The cause off all the fuss was soon revealed as he was frogmarched past her cell. Candice wasnt surprised, really, she always seemed to know when a iconograph was being pointed at her. But she hadnt expected one to break into police lockup to get a picture...the sight of who it was being taken past her cell explained it, though. IT was the same man who'd snuck into her house and taken a picture of her in the bath.

*literally, it brought tears to her eyes

Vetinari's expression never changed, he watched the man actually find a chair and drag it to the desk, something he had never seen anyone else do before and yet it was certainly a logical thing to do. Still Vetinari raised an eyebrow at the Sergeant's back but he resumed his intent silence as the man took his seat and began speaking. As each idea was presented before the Patrician he weighed it and looked at it from a number of angles, but he made no comment or elaboration. Finally when the Sergeant had finished he still did not speak, instead the sound of the ticking clock filled the silence.

"So, you are suggesting that we demolish and rebuild buildings in order to accommodate easier legal assassinations?"

Vetinari finally asked, his voice seeming genuinely curious. He waved the man to silence when a response was evident.

"Getting the citizenry to part with any amount is difficult to increase that amount? Well….."

He left the remainder of the thought unvoiced. Standing he moved to the window and stared out at the city that worked.

"It will certainly be interesting to see how you get money from the guilds and the wizards" he allowed himself a private smile "very interesting indeed."

Turning around he moved back to his chair, but remained standing.

"You will start tomorrow, there is a government wage of course and I have arranged for some help in the form of a staff, not the best I'm afraid but certainly a vibrant cross section of The City."

Drumknot appeared silently and came in with a number of files, one of which she silently handed to Vetinari. Opening it he looked inside and leafed through a few pages before handing it to Kuryakin.

"The rest of what you need to know is explained there, I will of course expect progress reports. The file also includes brief profiles of your staff in order to help you memorise names etc. Now, I'm sure that you are very busy, please don't let me detain you."

Once the Sergeant had left Drumknot cleared his throat.

"I am afraid to say sir, that was not the correct candidate, there appears to have been a mix up."

The private secretary said this as though it were being dragged from him, the very idea that something had gone awry seemed to cause the man physical pain. The Patrician remained seated, his pen hovering over a page.

"I am quite confident that there was no mix up Drumknot."

"Yes sir." Replied the secretary.

Nathan handed Sasha the paper and watched as the large man entered and spoke to the girl in the other cell. He felt his eyes roll before he could stop himself. He was in a click, rich father has spoilt child, spoilt child has lesson taught to her by father, Nathan wondered if this girl would go through the transformation and become a level headed girl who was actually pleasant to be around, not that it really mattered Nathan wasn't the one that was going to have to spend time with her. He looked up at the door, it had opened again.

"Wow, this place is a hive of activity and there was me thinking that we were going to be bored."

It was captain Carrot again, he came down the stairs and with a pleasant greeting and an inquiry after how they were all doing, handed them a letter. Opening his he realised it had the Patrician's seal on. Nathan realised this was probably a letter he was going to have to sit down for.

_Dear Mr Spree,_

_I have been made aware of your situation and wish to help you remedy this predicament._

Already Nathan felt uneasy, this was just a letter, he had would hate to find out what it was like to meet the Patrician in person. Nathan looked up and realised that Carrot was still standing there waiting patiently for something.

_It happens that there is a vacancy within the government that requires a number of your unique talents. There is a wage and many opportunities for a dynamic and enthusiastic person like yourself. It also will offer you the chance to perform an 'honest' days work._

Again Nathan had to pause in his reading to blink and wonder if he really was awake.

_I refer to employment within the small, but budding tax office for Ankh-Morpork._

Nathan exploded into laughter, which was quickly cut off as his surroundings became evident to him once more.

"Sorry, but he can't be serious." He said lamely to the room in general.

_I assure you that I am perfectly serious_

Now _that_ was weird.

_It would of course mean that the investigation into the disappearance of the two assassins not to mention the complaints against you made by the thieves guild would be suspended._

Ah, now that was an attractive idea, of course he had nothing to do with those disappearances, at least that is what he would continue to insist.

_Of course I am sure that you were not involved in any way with these incidents_

Seriously, The Patrician appeared to be able to have a conversation with you through a letter, it was creepy.

_However I realise that a citizen's own time is precious and a great deal of time remanded in custody might have a detrimental effect on their business. It could be a very considerable amount of time that you are kept as a guest of the watch. I urge you to consider carefully and give your answer to captain Carrot. I would also like to stress that this offer has a limited life and will expire once the captain leaves the room._

The patrician's signature followed and Nathan's eyes were fixed upon it, his mind spinning wildly. Looking up to make sure Carrot was still in the room he watched the expression on the others faces, to see if their letters were from the same person and having the same effect on them. Nathan did his best to control his expression, but he had the distinct impression he looked like he'd just been smacked very hard in the face.

Sasha had gratefully taken the newspaper from Nathan, had sat herself on the floor and was leaning against the iron bars working her way through the daily crossword. Due to the watch confiscating her belongings and most inconsideratly not leaving any handy sharp objects, like a pencil, in her cell she was mentally inserting the answers. She frowned at the fourth clue "Wine left behind at sea? Oh come on, how easy is that!" She folded the paper and tossed it besides her, disgusted at the lack of effort whoever wrote these puzzles had put in. She was sure this exact same crossword had been in one of last weeks issues too. Perhaps if she managed to get out of here she could get a job with the newspaper, Sasha loved a good puzzle and was sure she could do a much better job at the crossword than their current creator but...working for a paycheck? Where was the fun in that?Besides she had been a thief ever since she was tall enough to reach into pockets, if you were good at somthing you should stick with it.

She heard footsteps coming down to the cells and smiled at Nathan

"Well, aren't we the popular bunch?"

Her smile turned into an expression of wary confusion as she took the letter that was thrust through the bars. Captain Carrot stood silently as each of them read their letter.

_Dear Miss Vine_

Her eyes dropped to the bottom and she saw who the letter was from...Argh! The Patrician knew about her! This couldn't be good. Her eyes went back up to the top and raced along the next line of the letter.

_I have been made aware of your situation and wish to help you remedy this predicament._

Okay, sounded good so far but a bad feeling started to churn in her gut. People never offered help if they didn't want something in return. Why the Patrcican of all people?

_It happens that there is a vacancy within the government that requires a number of your unique talents. There is a wage and many opportunities for a resourceful and enthusiastic person like yourself. It also will offer you the chance to perform an 'honest' days work._

oh gods, there it was, an honest days work? Today was getting worse by the second. Sasha groaned aloud, realised she had done it and looked up.

"Sorry, but this has got to be a joke right?"

She continued to read

_I can assure you this is no jest_

Argh!

_I refer to employment within the small, but budding tax office for Ankh-Morpork_

Sasha relaxed but only slightly, Tax Office? That was basically stealing peoples money wasn't it? Okay maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

The rest of the letter read pretty much the same as Nathans, with the promise of all her troubles with the Thieves Guild being suspended and the reminder that she could otherwise be spending a very long amount of time behind bars.  
>When she had finished she looked back up at Captain Carrot, glanced down to the letter and across at Nathan. From the look on his face his letter had been along similar lines<p>

"Let me guess, that letter isn't to invite you for drinks and canapes?" She didn't wait for an answer, she just stared stunned at the parchment in her hand "No, mine neither"

Candice was about to brag that she'd received a letter from the Patrician when she realised that the other two had as well, so she kept her mouth shut and read the letter.

_Dear Miss Meehan_

_I have been made aware of your situation and wish to help you remedy this predicament. _

Candice hoped that this meant that the letter was an official apology, but the next line said otherwise.

_It happens that there is a vacancy within the government that requires a number of your unique talents. There is a wage and many opportunities for a confident and enthusiastic person like yourself. It also will offer you the chance to perform an 'honest' days work_

A job? Candice had never worked a day in her life. Her father had made sure she didnt need to. He'd told her as much. Well, she'd let him know about this. Daddy didnt want her working, it suggested he couldnt look after her. He was gonig to be SO mad.

_I have spoken to your father regarding this, and he feels that it will be of some benefit to you._

no... How could he?

_I refer to employment within the small, but budding tax office for Ankh-Morpork. _

"Whats tax?" Candice asked out loud, but didnt really pay attention to the answer, if any was even given.

The rest of the letter basically stated that she would spend a long time in the Tanty if she didnt accept, as the situation really was worse than what she had thought, and that working for a wage really was preferable to the tanty. She was about to demand to speak to her father, but didnt when she realised captain Carrot was about to leave.

"Ok! She called after him. "i'm in. I'll work!"

Sergeant Kuryakin walked back to the Watch House after waving the coach away. He'd spent most of that time in a daze, tyring to figure out where things had gone sideways on him.

_Tax coordinator? Me? That can't be right, I only wanted to talk to him..._

This wouldn't go over well with Vimes at all and Illyah knew there would be a great fuss; Sam Vimes didn't mind so much if his officers retired, transfered or died - but to have one plucked out from under him by the Patrician was going to cause a mess.

Finally getting back to his office, Illyah sat behind his desk and opened the file. Inside were pages of information about his new 'staff' - none of whom he'd heard of before.

_Hey, now that's going to be different - I have staff!_ What he was going to do with them yet he had no idea; having been the manager, core staff and secretary of his own department for so long, he was sure he could find something for them to do.

"Probably lots of forms and such to fill out. Lots of filing, that sort of thing."

Sitting back in his chair and putting his feet up on the desk, Illyah began to think of all the good he'd be able to do for Ankh Morpork; he could see to it that there was enough money for new roads, fresh water, maybe even some more golems for the fire brigade. Did they have a brigade? The last he saw it was three golems sitting in an old stable playing cards.

As more ideas popped into his head, he tried to figure out all the different ways in which a city such as this could bring in tax money. He realized that he knew next to nothing about it.

_People just pay...taxes...They just pay, don't they?_

Speaking of people, how exactly _was_ he going to get the wizards to pay?

As Candice asked her question on tax Nathan laughed again.

"That seems like the sort of question most of the people in Ankh-Morpork will ask."

So they had all got the same letter, what was going on? Candice's call to Carrot made Nathan realise the guard was leaving, deciding he was jumping from the frying pan and into a very hot and cunning fire, but also realising that the fire was ahead of him and he was in the frying pan now he grabbed the bars to his cell.

"Count me in to captain."

He looked at Sasha and shrugged

"Anything's gotta beat sitting here right?"

Carrot turned to Sasha, obviously waiting for her response.

Well as reckless as Sasha was sometimes, she was far from stupid. She basically had three choices, death from the Thieves Guild, years in prison courtesy of the watch or to take up Vetinaris offer. It was a simple matter that took her a mere few seconds to consider, she looked over at the other two, nodded at Nathan and shrugged as if to gesture 'Ah what the hell'.

"Make that three Captain, I'm in"

Reaching the door of his home, Talbot rummaged in his coat pocket for the door key. _Ah, there it was._ As he pulled it out of his pocket, something was dragged out with it and fell to his feet. Bending down to pick it up, Talbot saw that it looked like a business card with the words 'The Fresh Start Club' emblazoned across it and an address.

_I wonder where that came from? _Perhaps it belonged to one of his clients. He'd had a rather… er…varied selection lately. Maybe he'd been given it along with payment for treatment and not noticed. That would be typical of him!

Shrugging his shoulders, Talbot replaced the card in his pocket. He wasn't sure what use it was to him at the moment. After all, he was very much alive… at least for the time being… and he was too useful to his clients to be in danger so far. Ah well.

Entering the house, Talbot collected the post from the doormat. They were mostly letters from dental equipment suppliers. Among them, however, was a small package. _Ah! That'll be from Igor._ Sure enough, the parcel contained a wad of Ankh Morpork Dollars. You could always rely on Igor for a quick turnaround on body parts and he was a good payer. All being well, he'd soon have enough to move to Lancre and leave his past behind him. Talbot put the money in a tin on the mantelpiece and poured himself a glass of wine.

It had been a long night and he was looking forward to some well-earned sleep. He'd already eaten earlier during a break in appointments so, taking a lighted candle and topping up the wine, he headed off up the stairs for what remained of the night. All being well, he would sleep late into the morning. 

Verurteilen decided to have breakfast at he favorite cafe, a small one run by some dwarves, just off of Market Street, where she sat at one of the slightly undersized chairs, with her feet resting up on an equally slightly undersized table, and with a copy of the Times in her hands

A few moments later, Nijel Ironhammer, the owner of the cafe, came up to Verurteilen's table, holding a glass in one of his hands

"Here's your usual, Miss Verurteilen," he said, placing the glass on the table, "a pint of cow's blood"

"Thank you, Nijel," she said, looking up from the paper. She put the glass's straw to her mouth when she noticed something small and black wrapped around it. Taking it off carefully, she noticed that it was a small black ribbon

"Are you trying to tell me something, Nijel?" she said, coldly, "because you know zat I do not tolerate being buggered vith"

"It was merely a suggestion, my dear, I assure you," he said, backing away a little bit, "you know, it might just be a good idea to wear a black ribbon, even just a fake one, it will certainly keep suspicions down" He stood in awkward silence as Verurteilen gave him a long glance, before she smilled and gave a little laugh

"You are right, of course, my dear friend," she said, Nijel relaxed, as he always did when Verurteilen called him a friend, because a friend of Verurteilen's was ensured to have a good long life ahead of him "I suppose zat it could not hurt" with that, Verurteilen placed the false black ribbon on the outside of her midnight black cloak

"Nijel," she went on, after taking a sip of her glass of cow's blood, "do you know of anyvone by ze name of Talbot Grume?" the dwarf scratched his head in vague recolection

"I think so," he said, "I believe that he is a dentist who has his practice out in the Shades" Verurteilen nodded

"I almost had to kill him last night," she said, "he had happened upon one of my clients"

"And you didn't kill him?" Nijel inquired. Verurteilen shrugged

"No vone vas paying me to kill him," she said

"Ah," said Nijel, "This man you killed, Jacob Waverly, was it?" Verurteilen almost choked on her cow's blood

"Yes," she gagged, "how did you know?"

"He's come here for breakfast for the past ten years, has not even missed a single day, his poor wife must be broken up about it" Verurteilen thought back to the sum of eight thousand dollars that was currently residing in her pockets

"You vould be surprised," she finished, lamely, resuming her reading of the latest edition of the Times

"Looks like there's something in here about the old Taxing office," came Nijel's voice from over her shoulder

"Yes," Verurteilen said absently. She had seen that article, as well, "Zere's been rumors floating around zaying zat zey are going to appoint a new Tax coordinator"

"As well as Tax collectors," said Nijel, "I wonder what kind of people they're going to rope into that kind of job" Verurteilen went on examining the Times article

"Yes," she said absently, not realizing that she had in fact said it several seconds after Nijel had walked away

Carrot grinned, it was a genuine grin that reached his eyes and one only Carrot could manage without looking like was about to butcher you.

"I am pleased, Lord Vetinari said you'd be helping the City, a fine thing to do."

Of course Nathan had heard of Carrot, but to meet him he realised that none of the stories could possibly be true. He went through the world and people didn't want to disappoint him. Nathan realised that a small part of him was glad to have impressed the captain, which of course meant that the larger part was disgusted with the smaller part.

"I believe that the new Tax co-ordinator is in fact up stairs, so you can meet him now."

He came over to the cells and unlocked them all. Nathan stepped out and was gripped by an almost overpowering urge to disappear up the stairs. However, perhaps he should wait for a little, if they were going upstairs anyway after all.

"This way please."

Sasha stepped out for her cell and for a second the impulse to run almost won out. But Carrot looked so happy at what they were doing, and besides she'd heard the rumours that there was at least one werewolf in the watch. She wouldn't get far even if she did mange to out manoeuvre Carrot _and_ race through the watchouse without getting caught by the dozens of officers stationed here, so she dismissed the thoughts of escape...for now.

Carrot led them up the stairs and through the watch house, as they drew near a door the group slowed near a couple of officers who were chatting in the corridor. Carrot knocked on the door and waited for a reply, the group waited for a moment and Sasha decided to entertain herself. A few seconds later she held up a piece of paper in her hand, it was crumpled as though it had been stuffed hastily into a pocket. She laughed as she straightened it out and read what it said

"The Pink Pussycat club? A VIP pass? Oh man, are watch officer allowed to go to places like that?"

One of the officers looked at the paper, realisation dawned and his face was consumed in a blush. He quickly snatched at the paper but Sasha stepped back grinning

"What was it? A bribe? You want it back?" she teased as she waved it in front of him, his red face was a picture and he mumbled somthing about it being for his brother but his colleague was grinning and Sasha knew he was taking in every detail to tell his fellow officers in the canteen later. A subtle cough got her attention, she stopped and turned, Carrot stepped forward and took the paper out of her hand

"Miss Vine, may I kindly ask you to refrain from pickpocketing the officers? You are about to become a government worker" he added reproachfully. Sasha hoped she looked suitably remorseful as she nodded "Yes Captain...sorry. Force of habit"

Her grin re-surfaced as soon as Carrot turned his back and knocked once more on the door that apparently concealed their new boss

Kayla had been wandering the streets of Ankh-Morpork for over an hour, and by now even Dibbler's sausages inna bum were starting to look appetising as hunger continued to gnaw at her stomach. She had found her way out of the shades and was ambling along Short street when a wonderful smell assailed her nostrils.

Fresh Bacon

Kayla followed the scent to an unattended market stall at the end of Market Street. Glancing about her briefly, Kayla grabbed a sausage and ran…right into a wall. Somewhat dazed, she did not notice the raucous man wander4ing out of the pub opposite and making towards the stall. When he spotted Kayla he stopped, swaying slightly.

"What's all this then?"

And without waiting for an answer

"THIEF! THIEF!"

And he was staggering very determinedly towards Kayla. She had come to her senses somewhat, but not fast enough to dodge the massive paw-like hand that that grasped her arm surprisingly firmly for one so inebriated by drink. He turned her round and shook her.

"You mangy thieving beggar, you!"

His frient, only slightly more sober, whispered something in his ear.

"the WATCH? Why would I call the watch? We can sort this the old fashioned way. OFF WITH HER THIEVING LITTLE HAND!"

And with a yell he dragged her over to the stall where a previously unregarded carving knife lay. Passers by were starting to crowd around and watch in horrified fascination, but to Kayla's dismay there was no hint of a protest at what was possibly the best street theatre seen round this part of town for some time. The butcher banged her hand onto the table, wrenched the knife from the bloc and held it wavering above her head.

There was a thud and a scream. Kayla's blood ran into the gutter. 

Nathan grinned when he heard Sasha read out the invitation and the grin broadened when he saw the look of embarrassment on the guards face.

"No need to blush officer, after all, who doesn't like to watch those girls wrap themselves around poles? I mean, the things they do."

It got the desired result, both guards blushed and he noticed Carrot's ears turning a very lovely crimson. Nathan had always found that sort of topic was never a problem for him, but he occasionally enjoyed watching others react to it. It had been a petty thing to do, but when you're hands are still tied up and you've been cooped up in a cell, then petty is all you have. Carrot cleared his throat and after a brief pause, entered the office, beckoning them to follow.

"Sergeant Kuryakin, these are members of your new staff."

Nathan's eyes wandered around the room, taking it all in. The office was large, not cramped, but not roomy either. There seemed to be a number of boxes in corners of the room all of them neatly labelled in a clear, and meticulous. On top of the boxes were papers, they were technically in piles, but made so precisely piled as to give the impression of a ruler and possibly some device for measuring angles. Finally his gaze came to rest on the man behind the desk. Sergeant Kuryakin appeared to sit there blinking at them and leafing through a file. Nathan decided to break the sound of rustling pages.

"Hi, I'm Nathan."

Kuryakin looked at him for a moment and then seemed to turn the pages even faster.

"Captain Carrot, now that everyone realises I'm an honest man, do you think you could please untie my hands?"

Carrot obliged and Nathan once again stood silently rubbing his wrists and waiting for the page turning to stop.

Candice was happy when she was let out of the cell. HOpefully it meant she could go home soon. She followed Carrot and the other two upstairs and through the watch house, before stopping outside an office.

She listened to the conversation aboutthe Pink Pussycat Club.

"I used to got there" she stated, absentmindedly. The girls there taught me how to dance."

The watch officer who Sasha had swiped the pass from stared at her in shock. She winked at him, and then followed the other two into the office.

As Carrot led them into the office Sasha looked at the still blushing guards, the younger of the two looked as if he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him especially after what Nathan had said. Sasha grinned and hung back from the group for a moment

"No need to be embarrassed boys it's all perfectly natural, appreciating the female form and all that, oh and say Hi to Candi for me next time you're there. If you tell her Sasha sent you, you might get a discount"

She saw their expressions and laughed, winked and followed after the others. She had once taken a job at the Pink Pussycat club, hoping it would mean some easy pickings from the distracted clientele but it hadn't lasted more than a night or two due to issues with the scant costumes, she didn't mind wearing them but seriously how was a girl supposed to stash any loot in a couple of scraps of lace? So she had returned to good old fashioned street thieving, much more her style.

She followed the others into the office and looked around, brushing back her hair, which was steadily escaping from it's clip, as she looked at the almost obsessively neat room. She took in all the details, all the clues to the man who was going to be their boss. Her gaze fell upon Sergeant Kuryakin as he sat behind his desk, leafing through his papers

"Hi, I'm Sasha"

She stood with Nathan and the rich girl and waited for a response to their introductions

She looked sidelong at Candice and laughed softly, "The look on their faces when you said you used to go there, that was priceless." 

Candice realised sshe hadnt introduced herself. For the most part, she didnt need to, all the people she usually met knew her name already, but this man had given her a blank stare, before returning to flicking through pages.

"And i'm Candice." She smiled polietly.

While waiting for a response, she realised Sasha was talking to her.  
>Candice shrugged at the comment about the Pink Pussycat club, then smiled. "It was fun for a while. MY mother made me stop though. 'Public figures should try and behave more responsibly and not be a bad example'. "<p>

Verurteilen was vaguely aware of the scream, but was not brought out of her hypnotized state as she stared at the newspaper until the sharp smell of human blood stung her nostrils

She looked up at the sight of fresh blood oozing into the gutters, and followed the trail with her eyes, up to a girl and the man holding the meat cleaver. Verurteilen growled. The whole behaviour of the whole human race made her sick to her stomach

She slammed some coins to pay for her meal onto the cafe table, before jumping up and swiftly darting through the crowd of watchers and tapped the man holding the cleaver on his shoulder

"What do you want?" he growled, turning around, and went pale at the sight of Verurteilen's fangs

"Do you even know who zis girl is?" she hissed, "For all you know, she could ve a member of ze Thieve's Guild!" Verurteilen grabbed the man's shirt and wrenched him forward so only he could hear her

"And ze Thieve's Guild has veen known to assosciate vith ze Assassin's Guild, if you know vhere I am going vith zis" The man instantly dropped the cleaver onto the stall and backed away, wideeyed. Verurteilen glared at him before moving onto the girl

"Miss?" she said, urgently shaking the girl, "Miss, are you alive?"

Kayla was shaken out of her faint only to be confronted by a woman who was obviously a vampire. The black quality about pretty much every item of her clothing was a clue, but the incisors that glinted so were definitely the clincher. She looked down at her hand as memory creeped up on her, and upon seeing the stump that was there instead pushed her over. She slumped ungraciously back onto the street with a sigh. 

Verurteilen sighed and rolled her eyes at the sight of Kayla, on the ground, but she was impressed, the people she had dealt with usually had some trouble waking up, again

With another sigh, she hefted Kayla up to her feet, and turned to glare at the crowd, several of them looking towards their feet and leaving, before dragging the girl back to the cafe and setting her down in a chair

The flicking pages was beginning to fray Nathan's nerves. The sound seemed to be getting louder along with the sounds of the others breathing. He closed his eyes and swallowed down the urge to shout. Instead he stepped forward and squeezed the pages on Sergeant Kuryakin's file so that the flicking would stop.

"I'm sorry, would you mind terribly not doing that."

Again another quick smile appeared and went.

"Anything that's in that file about me I can tell you. Nathan Spree, tax officer for the city of Ankh-Morpork, or at least I will be tomorrow." He finished.

The sergeant cleared his throat.

"Yes well, good, yes we start tomorrow, I have a few ideas…"

He trailed off and cleared his throat again, he appeared to be getting into his stride.

"The tax office is near the palace, the old building around there. We have to see how we go. I've not had a chance to look at what's happened in there yet, but hopefully we will find out together."

Nathan nodded, he was so close to being out of here, he could taste freedom.

"In that case, I will see you tomorrow."

Captain Carrot cleared his throat and handed them another letter each.

"Another one? From the Patrician, he shouldn't have."

Carrot did not smile. Opening it Nathan began to read.

_Dear Mr Spree,_

_I am most gratified that you have decided to join our organisation in service to the city. Your clear thinking in decision making does you credit and bodes well for you future within the tax office. _

This sounded fairly pleasant, Nathan tense

_However I feel it my duty to inform you that your previous career has led me to give your iconograph to the watch and distributed among the gate entrances._

Hah! He wasn't so clever he obviously didn't realise…

_Please note that I can confirm to you that there is at least one werewolf in the watch and they have been given your scent, I'm sure I do not need to continue. Suffice it to say that if it is required to retrieve you back into the city, I would, most regrettably, have to release you from the service of the tax office and instate a number of charges. This is of course merely a warning as I am sure that it will not come to that._

Nathan felt nauseous the man was psychic, he had to be, how did he know all these things about him, how did he _know_

"Well, as I said….se you in the morning."

He said weakly.

Sasha had listened to the brief statement from the sergeant and had begun to, not very subtly, edge toward the part way open door, trying not to look too eager to leave.

"Yeah okay, see you in the morning boss..."

There were plenty of coaches leaving regularly from the Post Office, she could head straight there and be out of the city in a couple of hours. May be she would try Quirm next or maybe not, that was still fairly close and the Thieves Guild had a long memory and even longer daggers. Perhaps she would go a bit further afield. She could catch a boat, Klatch could be good. She could get a tan, lay low for a while...

Before she could slip through the gap and onward to the almost palpable taste of freedom another letter was held out by Captain Carrot. She gave him a suspicious look and took it from him with narrowed eyes

"You aren't making any friends with these you know"

Opening it she read it quickly, made a noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh and slumped against the wall with her arms folded, the unfolded letter hanging from her right hand.

After a brief pause for dramatic effect she stood up straight again, automatically sweeping her hair back

"Well, it's been a pleasure but I gotta go. I'll see you in the morning"

Half expecting Carrot to stop her she opened the door and left the room. On the way out of the watch house she saw the blonde haired officer who had dragged her to that office earlier. Okay so Sasha wasn't exactly _dragged_ but she was taken there against her will and that was close enough.

The woman was stood near the exit talking to a couple of fellow officers, Sasha grinned and sauntered past her, hoping that the sergeant would think she was making a break for it, a very slow casual break but a break nonetheless. The woman watched her but made no move to stop Sasha from leaving. Disappointing but still, there was the street in front of her, Sasha inhaled the sweet smell of freedom as she stepped outside...and retched as the stink of the river Ankh filled her lungs

The scrabbling of a pigeon on the roof woke Talbot from what had been a restless sleep. Turning over with a groan, he squinted into the half light before rubbing his eyes and slowly sitting up in bed. His stomach rumbled. Hmmm. Time for breakfast! He got up and absent-mindedly selected an outfit from the narrow wardrobe in the corner of the room.

Outside, the day was in full swing; not that The Shades ever really slept. Talbot stepped out into the street and headed off towards Market Street where his favourite café provided excellent coffee and croissants. He was just in the mood for some.

There seemed to be some sort of commotion ahead of him as he turned into the street and he was in time to see someone being lifted from the road and taken to one of the chairs at the café. He wouldn't have recognised the woman who had been doing the lifting had it not been for a glimpse of her teeth as she looked round. _It was those magnificent teeth again!_ He would know them anywhere. Initially feeling rather hesitant, Talbot gave a slight shrug and crossed the street to the café where he nodded at the woman before selecting a table near the door and picking up a menu. 

Candice had gotten distracted and had zoned out, so had missed the conversation. However, it came to her attention that they were finally being let go. She sighed, and brought herself back to reality, as Carrot handed her another letter. She read it, and frowned. These things were getting more evil.

Sasha was leaving, so Candice turned and followed her out without even saying 'goodbye' or 'see you tomorrow' to the others.

Down in the courtyard, Candice saw one of her families coaches, and climbed in. HEr father was in there, waiting for her. "Daddy im so sorry" she cried, and her father looked worried. Candice never cried.

"Its ok sweetie, let me see what i can do."

"Theres nothing you can do!" She handed him the letter. It basically said that if Candice was to dissapear, or not show up for work in the morning, the Meehan family business would be 'looked into'. Purely to find out how they'd hidden her, of course. Steven Meehan looked angry as he read the thinly veiled threats throughout the letter, realising that the patrician knnew all about his dodgy business dealings.

Finally, he nodded, and tucked the letter into his pocket.

"Im sorry daddy" she repeated, as the coach sped her home.

Kayla came to once again, slowly and quietly. She was sitting not far from the stall as she could still smell the bacon that had lured her here. Looking down at her fame once again as she began to remember, she shuddered, but stayed cycle. Looking up she saw the vampire sitting across and looking harassed. Lookin once more at her mangled stump, still pumping blood, she burst into tears.

Verurteilen stood and massaged the life back into her arms after dumping the girl into the seat, and looked up to see the dentist walking by. Without really knowing why, she nodded back to him, and suddenly jumped back when the girl spontaneously woke up and burst into tears

She caught sight of Nijel, and beckoned for him to bring her a towel. When he returned she took the dirty dish towel and kneeled down to eye level with the girl

"Oh, vould you stop your bawling?" she shouted over the sound of the girl crying, "I've left people in much vorse condition than you've been put into, believe me. Here, zis should stop ze bleeding" Verurteilen wrapped the towel around the girl's stump and it immeadiately began to turn a dark red

"You vill feel a vit voozy for a vhile from all of ze bloodloss, vut you should ve just fine. Here, drink zis, it vill help" She shoved the glass of water that Nijel had brought over into Kayla's other hand, before letting herself fall into the next chair, where she sat and began to fan herself with her hat

"Honestly," she went on, "you humans vill not hesitate to pay to have someone killed, and yet you make such a fuss over vone lost limb"

Kayla quietened down at the sight of the angry vampire. Clutching the towel to her wrist she sniffed the tantalising smell of the bacon and drooled slightly. Still hiccoughing with tears. She cleared her throat and spoke.  
>"C..c..can I have s..s..something to eat?"<p>

The city...it had seemed like such a good idea at the time. A far cry from the village where she had spent her childhood. It was a cliched idea but Sasha had come to the city because of the belief it would be full of opportunity and wealth, and it was. Plenty of wealthy people and lots of opportunity to relieve them of some of their riches. However she had been shocked at the poverty that was rife here, of course even back home there had been people who had been better off than others but as a small community they pulled together.  
>If a farmers crops failed the village saw to it that he and his family didn't starve during the cold winters, and he would do the same for someone else when he had plenty and his neighbour had nothing. But here no-one seemed interested in helping the poverty stricken families. Rich patrons of the Opera House would sweep off their coaches and into the richly decorated building without a second glance at the thin, ragged street urchins who would try their luck at begging for enough money to get a meal.<p>

It was something that rankled Sasha who didn't usually take very much in life seriously. Why couldn't the spoiled upper classes share some of their wealth to help the people for whom daily life was a constant struggle. Surely the patrician or someone in the government could force the rich to give a small amount of their money which could then be given to those who need it, mothers who struggled to feed and clothe their children, men who could no longer work to feed their family...Sasha shook her head sadly, then realisation dawned. Someone in the government, someone like a Tax Officer. Her mouth set in a determined line and she nodded to herself, it was worth a mention surely?She made a mental note to approach Sergeant Kuryakin about it, once they had established just exactly what it was that they would be doing.

Sasha was deep in thought about her idea earlier, about tax money being used to help people. Walking quickly through the streets she was staring at the cobbles instead of watching where she was going, she was in hurry because she was already late for somthing, a promise she had made. Her hand reached up to brush her hair out of her eyes and she collided with someone hard enough to send her off balance,

"Oh man, that hurt! I'll have bruises on my bum for weeks now. You should be more careful, I could probably sue you for causing serious bodily harm."

Sprawled on her backside from her ungraceful landing she looked up to see who she had bumped into... 

Verurteilen nodded to Kayla, and gave a look to Nijel who was still standing by the table. He bustled off and a few moments later he returned with a plate of bacon. Verurteilen pressed what had to be at least twice as much money as the bacon was worth, and as she did so, she did it with an air that implied that the payer knew very well that she was overpaying, but her pockets jingled as she sat back down, revealing that she had plenty more where that had come from.

She looked across to the girl and gave a small laugh inwardly to herself

_Ha!,_ she thought, _vhy do I even take pity on zese humans?_

_Because, zey're hatred for each other makes you rich,_ said another part of her inner mind. Verurteilen shrugged

_Zat answer vill do,_ she thought 

Kayla leaped at the bacon with relish, wedging her arm and towel between her knees as she ate,

Talbot wasn't sure any more what he really wanted for breakfast, although he was very hungry. He was used to eating well. His family were rich and had always ensured he wanted for nothing. They had indulged his fascination for things dental and funded his professional training at the exclusive Dentistry School in Uberwald. There was always a good clientele for the students to work on, although the quality of teeth was variable. Not everyone looked after them properly, especially when… distracted by the moment.

The lady with the beautiful teeth was talking heatedly with a young girl whose arm was bleeding heavily, and who seemed to have ordered something to eat. Soon the delicious smell of bacon wafted towards Talbot's table. Mmmmm. _That's what I'll have. _

Everyone seemed to be focused on the young girl, so Talbot got up to walk round towards the counter to place his order. As he rose from the table, he saw Igor across the street and beckoned to him to come over. He could be useful at a time like this when no one else was available to do the serving. Just as Igor reached the table, however, a woman came rushing out of nowhere towards him and they collided heavily… well, it's hard to just 'bump' into an Igor. They're built to last. The woman landed in heap on the ground and shouted something before looking up.

"Thorry, Mithth", said Igor, offering her a six-fingered hand. " I hope you're not hurt. I'm thure I can have you ath good ath new if there'th been any damage. It'th my thpethiality." 

Sasha looked up indignantly at the person who she had collided with, reached to take his hand and realised he had six fingers with a neat scar around the wrist, his face wasn't much better. He looked like a guy who had lived in the village who had had a nasty lumberjacking accident, only that guy had never walked and talked due to being , well, dead, which wasn't really surprising considering they had had to lift a twenty foot tree off him.

"Argh!...I mean, _ah_ it's okay I can get up by myself. Look."

She scrambled to her feet, then gave him a sideways look with narrowed eyes.

"You can fix me up as good as new...?" her eyes widened as she realised what he meant "...No no, it's okay. It's just a few bruises."

And those bruises were in a place that she wasn't letting this gentleman anywhere near. She was about to hurry on when she noticed the others seated at one of the tables. She blinked and looked again at the young girl, the towel around her hand was soaked in blood.

"What in hells names happened to her? If you want to fix anybody up I think you should start there"

Sasha just couldn't hurry on without first asking if the girl was okay, so she did

"S'cuse me miss, but are you okay?"

Probably a daft question but better than 'So tell me, how did you end up horribly mangled?'

She looked at the girls companion, a flash of teeth told her all she needed to know. So a girl bleeding profusly was sitting with a vampire? There was something wrong with this picture. Sasha adopted an expression of pure confusion which she vocalised most eloquently

"Huh?" 

Verurteilen looked up as another girl hurried over to the table. She caught the look that she was being given after the new girl had seen Kayla's hand, or, moreover, she _hadn't seen_ Kayla's hand

"Hey, do not look at me," she said, coldly, "I did not do it" Verurteilen brought herself up to her impressive full height and walked over to the new girl

"In fact, I vas trying to help zis girl" she went on, "You appear to be a thief as vell, girl, you should be careful, I only tell you zis so zat I do not end up having to come around and save you as vell" 

Sasha met the vampires glare with one of her own, this looked quite comical seeing as Sasha was probably at least a foot shorter.

"A thief? That's slander that is. Besides I'm not a thief, I'm a government worker" Sasha folded her arms to underline the statement, then shrugged and held out the hanfuld of gold she had filched from the vampires pocket.

"See, if I was a thief I wouldn't be giving this back would I? There's a lesson for you here, get inside pockets. They're much harder to dip into"

She grinned, then looked back at the bleeding girl and her face became one of concern.

"So what happened to her?"

Verurteilen growled and snatched back the coins the girl had taken from her

"Not anything half as bad as vhat I vill do to you if you try zat again" She sighed and put the money back into her pockets, making a note to button them securely closed. To prove her point, Verurteilen briefly flashed a blade before shoving it back into the depths of her cloak

"You should be grateful zat I do not kill you for zat, I did not aquire zis money by giving people a second chance." She looked the girl up and down, "Vut, I must admit, you must be cut out for government service if you had ze guts to do zat" 

Kayla hadn't noticed the exchange going on above her head, as she focused all her energies on satisfying the enormous hunger that had gripped her for days. Finishing he last rasher, she looked up at the two women squaring up against each other.  
>"Erm... I'm Kayla, and I would like to know who saved me..."<p>

Verurteilen broke her glare with the pickpocketer, when she heard the sound of the other girl's voice

"I am sorry," she said, smiling, "I am afraid zat I have failed to introduce myself" She bowed low to Kayla, "I am Verurteilen von Ubervald"

"and as you appear to be in no place to alert ze guild," she continued straightening up, "I do not mind telling you zat I am a master assassin"

Talbot started. "Did you say Verurteilen von Uberwald? I thought your teeth looked familiar! I was your family dentist when I first qualified. You all had the most perfect teeth I've ever had the pleasure to examine." Talbot was overwhelmed. He had many happy memories of his time in Uberwald, although there was a brief spell where his memory failed him. He wasn't sure why…

Verurteilen nearly fell over at the sudden sound of Talbot's voice. In fact, she _did_ fall over, but a chair impeded her way and gave her a chance to catch herself, so it didn't really count

Pulling herself together, she moved closer to the dentist and looked him up and down, as if trying to drag up something in the form of recollection

"You vill have to excuse me, I am not zat good vith remembering faces, I don't usually see ze same vones more zan vonce," she said, finally she stood back, "Yes, you look vaguely familiar, vut I left many memories behind vhen I left Ubervald, so it is not a strong recollection

Kayla was listening to the conversation in silence. After the initial shock, her wrist had started to throb unbearably. Not wanting to anger her companion she bit her lip, fearing that all that would come out of her mouth when she opened it would be a yell of anguish. A lone tear trickled down her cheek, as she bit her lip harder to try and distract the pain.

Candice made it home, and stumbled up the stairs to her room. The need for real sleep was overwhelming, and she colapsed on her bed without even bothering to get changed into her nightgown.

All thoughts about tax and her new job had dissapeared, and her last moments of being awake she was thinking about where to party that night. Then she fell into such a deep sleep that she didnt hear her door being locked from the outside. 

"That's alright", murmured Talbot. "I'm not too good with faces myself, but I can place a set of teeth easily, in every sense." He chuckled and then stopped quickly. He was totally mesmerised. Was it Verurteilen herself or her teeth. This all felt vaguely familiar but it seemed to be linked somehow to the gap in his memory. Hmmmm… he wondered. He raised his hand to his neck and rubbed gently at the small scar below his left ear. It was quality work. Igor had done a good job but he just couldn't remember what it was for. All he knew was that his parents had brought him home and he'd insisted on setting up a new practice here, in Ankh Morpork. He'd certainly been kept busy lately.

"Yes." He said. "Well, I think I'd better go and finish my breakfast. My surgery opens early this afternoon and there are a few errands I need to run first. I, er, hope everything is alright." He nodded towards Kayla. "Yes. Er, goodbye." He wandered back to his table, feeling puzzled. He was sure that the vampire was linked to his past somehow but the memory was firmly locked away.

He shook his head and turned to his table companion. "Ah, Igor. I was going to ask you to give me a ha… er, to help me sort out some breakfast but, looking at the time, I need you instead to sort out some urgent supplies for the surgery. There's a client coming this afternoon and the special teeth I've ordered for him need collecting as soon as possible. You'll have some supplies to take away afterwards, of course."

" Of courthe, Thur." Igor took the piece of paper containing instructions proferred by Talbot, rose and left just as the waiter approached the table.

Shrugging at the vampires threat as if it was of no consequence to her Sasha had been about to carry on her way to where she had been hurrying to before the disfigured man had bumped her over.

She paused briefly to listen to the conversation between a man and the vampire, just to be nosy. A movement caught her eye and she looked down at the girl sat at the table, who was being extremely quiet. A tear rolled down the girls cheek and Sasha looked again at the bloody towel that was wrapped around the girls hand.

Approaching the table Sasha knelt down so she could look at the girl

"Hey, I bet that's hurting huh? What happened?"

Sasha was filled in on the events with the drunkard and her usual sunny countenance vanished. Her eyes narrowed and she stood back up. She turned around, and glared up at the vampire

"She needs medical attention before she bleeds to death! I'm going to fetch a doctor..."

After filling in the long haired lady on the mornings events, Kayla stood up with her. She was not letting the first person to talk to her on her own terms, not out of necessity, out of her sight. Remembering her manners, she inclined her head towards the vampire lady, before sticking herself to Sasha.

Sasha smiled down at the poor girl

"Okay then let's get you fixed up. There's a doctor, a _good_ doctor I mean, not too far from here. "

She glanced at her watch, damn it she was late. But she couldn't just walk away from this girl without making sure she was okay. Even Sasha's lack of conscience didn't extend to children. So she took the girls good hand and led her to the doctors house which fortunatly was only just around the corner from the cafe, it was no different from any of the other houses that lined this particular street apart from a tiny brass plate just under the knocker that read _Doctor I. Chopitov_

As they stood at the door Sasha spoke quietly to the girl

"Just go along with anything I say in there got it?"

Sasha knocked hard on the door, after a few moments it opened a crack, when the person behind it saw Sasha he sighed and opened it further.

"What can I do for you Sasha?"

She gestured to the door, the man opened it wide enough to allow them to slip inside. In the hallway the smell of disenfectant seemed to seep through the wall themselves. Once the door was closed the doctor turned to the thief, she raised her hand in greeting

"Hey Doc, you remember that favour you owe me?"

The doctors face said that there was no way on the disc that he could possibly have forgotten, he rubbed his face wearily and nodded

Sasha continued, jerking a thumb in the girls direction

"Well, I'm calling it in. this girl needs attention now."

The doctors face barely concealed the surprise and relief that the re-payment of the favour would be somthing as simple and _legal_ as this, he almost smiled as he nodded

"Okay, bring her into my surgery"

A few moment later the girls injuries were being tended to, the doctor had given her a generous dose of anesthetic so it was no longer painful and he was sewing up the damage as best he could. As he worked he shot a glance over at Sasha who was frowning at somthing floating in a jar

"May I ask how this happened?"

Sasha nodded still staring at the mystery thing "Yeah, you can ask"

The doctor waited, after a few minutes he rolled his eyes

"Okay, how did this happen?"

Sasha held up the jar to the light

"Is that a finger? or something else? Ew, it's got an eye!...sorry doc, what did you say?"

The doctor repeated his question, Sasha put the jar down and turned to face him,

"Its a terrible story doc, this poor girl was taken in by a seemingly kind old lady who forced her into a life of servitude, then sold her to a vicious crime lord..."

The doctor sighed "The truth please Sasha"

"Are you sure? my story was so much more interesting...okay okay. Some drunk guy thought she was trying to steal from him and he chopped off her hand...although he could have been a vicious crime lord, you just never know"

"Have you told the watch?"

Sasha gave the doctor a withering look "I though you medical types are supposed to be bright"

Another sigh from the doctor, "Okay, well I've done all I can for her. She'll be fine except for the loss of her hand, but what's left should heal well as long as she keeps it clean and covered." He finished bandaging the girls arm and stood up, a gesture to let them know that his debt was repaid and it was time to leave

Sasha slapped him on the back as she left "Thanks Doc, I'll make sure to reccomend you to anyone who needs a good doctor". The mans face paled as he thought about the sort of people Sasha probably associated with, they left the surgery and Sasha walked the girl back to the cafe where they had met.

"You should be fine now. It was a pleasure to meet you but I'm running real late for a promise I made so I gotta go." Checking that the vampire was still around Sasha bid the girl goodbye and shoved a few coins into the girls hand. She hadn't given the vampire _all_ of her gold back

She hurried off, glancing at her watch. Oh man, now she was _really_ late, she broke into a run...

Verurteilen was watching as Sasha tended to the girl, but her eyes kept drifting back to the dentist's face. There was something about him..he _did_ seem familiar, a slightly younger version of his face was somehow in Verurteilen's mind, but she just couldn't wrap the correct memory around it

Suddenly, the dentist's hand went to the before unoticed scar on his neck, and it took every ounce of strength in Verurteilen's body to keep herself from gasping, choosing to stupidly bite her tongue, instead, which just made it more difficult, as the memory struck her like a renegade coach. It had been a dark night in Uberwald, and she hadn't known that he was still-

Verurteilen grabbed her head to try to drive the memory away before it could project itself across her eyes any further

_No vonder I no longer take live victims,_ she thought, still clenching her head. Finally, she sighed, noticing that the dentist had long since walked away, and looked up just in time to see Sasha returning with Kayla

_Vhere have zey been?_ she wondered, and then she saw the gold exchange hands, and her own flew to her pocket, before turning and growling at Sasha's retreating back

_Damn, zat little pickpocketing thief!_

Nathan had been at a loss, oh he had things to do but at the moment it was a bit difficult. He knew he was being followed and his clients were the nervous types, often frowning on uninvited company. This particular client however was one that Nathan really didn't want to keep waiting, the money was just too good. Still if the watch busted this deal, any further business he would hope to do…alive, would certainly be permanently suspended. In light of this he had followed Sasha, his mind trying to figure out a solution to his very large problem. When she had reached the café Nathan had watched, the smell of blood was strong and he quickly located the source, the horribly maimed girl. His eyes flicking to the tall figure in black, whose obviousness was masked only by the fact she was standing next to a girl with a bloody stump, she had to be a vampire. The hairs on Nathan's neck stood to attention and a cold shiver went down his back, he really hated vampires. From this angle he couldn't see any black ribbon but the situation didn't appear to require intervention. He watched as Sasha bent down and led the kid away; the thief was beginning to feature pivotally in his idea and his chest tightened as she disappeared. When they both re-appeared he let out a sigh of relief and watched Sasha take off in yet another direction. Glancing around to check there was no one watching, he clambered up the side of the building, he moved smoothly, quickly finding hand holds and moving up and along. He spotted Sasha's retreating form and scrambled to the corner of the entrance to the street she had just entered. Turning the corner he saw her in the distance and started running after her.

He matched his pace to hers and drew alongside her as she ran.

"Hey." He said and gave her a quick smile.

"So, since we're going to be work colleagues, I wonder if you could do me a favour?"

He seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that this might not be the best time or that they were running at all. His tone of voice suggested that they might be sitting back at the café and having a drink together.

Sasha heard running footsteps behind her and instincively began to run faster, but instead of a cry of 'Stop thief' or 'Hey you!' there came instead the extremely casual tones of Nathan as he drew up alongside her.

She shrugged whilst running, which isn't the easiest gesture to do gracefully. Deciding she could do with a breather anyway she slowed down and stopped, breathing heavily. She looked up and down the street which appeared to be empty, then grinned and gave a non-commital answer

"Depends, what's the nature of this favour and what's in it for me?"

Nathan did not appear to be out of breath he slowed and again flashed a quick smile, this one reached his eyes though. He put on a pained expression and winced theatrically.

"Well, I thought since we were both stuck in the same mess we could help one another out and that doing me this favour would give you a warm glow mushy glow inside."

Seeing that she wasn't moved in the slightest he sighed and leant closer.

"Okay, I need to get a package to someone, I'm being followed though so it's a little difficult. I need you to take the package I will give you to the address written on the card you have just taken from my pocket."

He said the last part quite matter of factly and without checking his pockets.

"Not really a big deal, but I will give you ten dollars to do it."

It was worth every penny if the package got delivered.

"Knock on the door, tell them…Springer sent you."

Nathan's expression never changed as he said the name and he appeared to be daring Sasha to laugh.

A smirk danced across her face but she hid it well. She kept her expression carefully unresponsive to hide the fact that she was trying not to let a snort of laughter excape. Once she was sure she had it under control she spoke

"Springer?" she shrugged "I've heard stranger names"

Sasha considered his offer, ten dollars to deliver a package. Sounded good, but she had learnt that things that sounded simple could have an annoying tendency to turn out to alot more complicated than first thought. Like the time when she was seven years old and playing 'Dares' with her best friend, a simple dare resulted in one traumatised cat clinging to a branch up a very tall oak tree, Sasha covered from head to toe in paint and sitting in a pond and her father needing stiches. A long story that taught her a valuable lesson, Never Try to Paint a Cat.

Although this favour did sound fairly simple. She held up the card, gave a shrug as an explanation for having taken it from his pocket and looked at the address.

"Yeah, I know that street." she looked Nathan up and down, wondering just how much he would pay for this simple task that he couldn't carry out himself "Make it fifteen dollars and you've got a deal" 

Nathan did not assume the face of someone who's just been dealt a terrible blow, he was not that kind of negotiator. Nathan played cripple Mr Onion, and a lesson he had learned very quickly was, you never play your cards, you always play your opponents cards. His relaxed attitude never wavered, not even for a moment.

"It's not worth fifteen dollars."

He said with not the hint of a lie, it was technically true, the job wasn't worth fifteen dollars, it was worth a great deal more. The best way to bluff is not to do it, people heard what they wanted to and as crazy as it seemed, their brains filled in the rest.

"eleven dollars and I'll give half of it to you now and half when the job is done."

Sasha shook her head, perhaps some people would have relented, barterd and found a price midway but Sasha stuck to her guns.

"uh-uh, fifteen or no deal. You chased me to ask me to do this, meaning it's important." she leant her back against the wall of a nearby house and casually examined her fingernails

"Now normally my price would be alot higher but as you said we're going to be work mates so I'm giving you a generous discount. Fifteen dollars, which I suspect is actually quite a reasonable price considering that you can't in fact deliver this package yourself"

She folded her arms and looked him in the eye

"Half now, half afterwards. Fifteen or I walk" 

Nathan looked at her, he could stand here and argue, but she had him over a barrel, god he hated that, but he made not show of it though. He nodded.

"I've truly been done, government really seems to get in the way of an honest man's work."

He took out half the money and handed it to her, once that was done he took out a neatly wrapped package, it wasn't large, but it was surprisingly heavy and even through the layers of paper seemed to be cool, almost cold.

"Thank you, you're more expensive than I'd like, but if you get the job done at least you'll have earned it. Just one more thing, don't try and steal from these guys, I'm sure you're good, but the people who want that package...they don't like people taking their things, just hand the package and leave and I'll have the rest of the money waiting for you, I promise."

Sasha took the money wiht a grin then frowned as she handled the package, it felt odd. Somehow she knew that curiosity was probably not a good option here so she simply placed it in a pocket then nodded at Nathan

"Okay, straight there, Springer sent me, no stealing...Got it"

Another glance at her watch, yes she was running late but this errand could prove useful. She looked again at the card just to be sure she knew exactlywhere she was going and made ready to leave.

"Theses people, they sound a bit like the the sort of people who don't take kindly to people. If there's any trouble I'm charging you extra _and_ you can buy me a pint, actually make that two pints. Like you said, I'm expensive"

A flash of a grin, then Sasha walked away sweeping her errant hair out of her eyes as she turned the corner. She kept a brisk pace, walking past street traders and citizens, for once she resisted the urge to dip into the occasional tantalisingly easy pocket. She knew when to take things seriously and calling attention to herself whilst carrying this mysterious package would not be amongst the top ten list of 'Smart Things to Do'. Sasha sighed and looked longingly at a purse left carelessly at the top of a handbag, at a merchant who had a bag of coins almost falling out of his pocket...they were doing this on purpose, she was sure of it.

Soon she came to the street written on the address card, it was a quiet street barely more than a coaches width across. The building seemed to lean in towards each other giving the feeling of being closed in. She slowed and listened, keeping to the shadows under the buildings overhangs. Satisfied that the street was deserted she walked casually along the street until she came to the address Nathan had given her. She knocked on the door, after a moment heavy footsteps could be heard approaching from the other side and a small hatch slid back. A pair of eyes squinted through the hole, a gruff voice grunted

"Think you've got the wrong place Missy"

Sasha simply stood there as casually as if she was chatting to the local grocer

"I don't think so, this is definitly the right place." She didn't wait for further small talk, best just to get this over with "Springer sent me"

Candice woke up a few hours later, completely sober, refreshed and slightly disorientated, which was proven when she thought she was laying closer to the middle of her bed than she actually was, so fell out when she rolled over. She stood up, and wandered into her private bathroom to clean herself up, as Candice knew she still stunk of stale alcohol and cigars.

After a lot of effort Candice was clean and had fixed her hair. Then she realised she could hear a faint noise coming from her huge walk in wardrobe. SHe opened the doors, and out barrelled a small white ball of fluff.

"Bruiser!" She squealed, as he ran back to her, yapping happily. "How'd you end up in there?" SHe gave him a quick hug, then put him back on the ground. Now it was time to choose todays outfit. Finally, she was ready to leave the house, and went and opened the bedroom door. WEll...she tried to, anyway. It was locked from the outside.

"Hey!" she yelled, thumping on the door.

"Yes, miss Meehan?" came a voice from the other side. It was her fathers assistant. She'd never bothered to remember his name, but she knewe she couldnt stand him.

"Unlock the door!"

"I cant do that, Miss Meehan. Your father has asked me to make sure you get to your..." here he snickered, "..job tomorrow. I figure the best way to do that would be to not let you out til then."

Candice was fuming, and stormed away from the door, Bruiser close on her heels.

"Come on Bruiser" she muttered, picking him up again. "We're heading out". With that, she packed him into a bag, then climbed out of her window. It had always been easy to sneak out of her room, not that her father or his staff had ever worked out how. She climbed down three stories of the building, before finally landing in the alley at the side of the house.

There was no acknowledgement from the flap, the pair of eyes drew back and it shut. A few seconds and a whispered conversation later, the door opened and a large, meaty arm came out of the gloom, 'guiding' her inside. The door banged shut with the finally of a tomb plunging the room beyond into swirls of dust and gloomy place had a smell of damp fur and leath, it must be a similar smell to a barbarians changing room. There was a sense of being surrounded by bodies, but the gloom was so thick it was impossible to tell how many were actually there.

"So, Springer sent you."

Came a voice somewhere in the gloom in front of her. Finally a lantern was lit and placed on a low table just before her.

"At last the man that claims to find things, has found what we asked for. Although I would have expected him to come himself, I did not know he had an associate. Do you have the package?"

The man before her was covered in scars, he might have been handsome, but it was very ahrd to tell. Standing to one side of him was a woman, her features thrown into shadow by the light of the lantern, she was unblemished and eagerness tensed her muscles, but she disguised it well in an air of haughty aloofness.

Sasha shrugged at the scar faced man

"He's busy, and yeah I got the package"

She produced the small yet curiously heavy package and though about tossing it on the table, then another thought reminded her she didn't know what was in the package and these people didn't look like the sort to forgive and forget if she broke one of their toys.  
>The scar faced man held out his hand, Sasha gave him the package and stood back making a point of not studying his face or the face of the woman next to him. Intrigued as she was Sasha still had a survival instinct and it was telling her loud and clear that it was best to show as little interest as possible and get back outside, where the air smelt a little fresher and she didn't get the feeling she was being watched from the shadows.<p>

"Okay, you got your package, I'll be off now"

She turned to find the way out

The way out was blocked by a shadow, the man spoke again.

"Tell Springer that his payment will be waiting at his lodgings, tell him also that if this is a fake we know exactly what we need to kill him."

There was a tiny gesture from the scarred man and the shadow moved to one side, poening the door and throwing the entire room into darkness, since the light of the street was so bright compared with the gloom. She was unceremonously shoved out and the door closed behind her.

Nathan wasn't sure how he'd managed to do it, but it appeared that he was back at the Cafe where the girl had been injured. Since street cleaning was something that happened only in stories around Ankh-Morpork, the smell of blood hung in the air, dried and horrible, but still there, the vampire and the girl were also both still there. He had to pass the vampire to get int othe cafe, he did this with as little contact as possible, he was casual, there was no fear as he passed, but he spent as little time as possible in the direct area. Once he had got his drink he found a table as far aways a was decently possible and sat down to wait for Sasha to come back.

Sasha was shoved out onto the narrow street, as the door slammed shut behind her she debated about shouting something rude, decided against it and settled for making a hand gesture at the doorway instead.

_Exactly what they need to kill him? What the hell is that supposed to mean?_

Well, she had completed her part of the deal so she went to find Nathan to collect the rest of her payment and to deliver the message. She went back the way she had come and eventually spotted him at the cafe where she has met the girl and vampire earlier. She waved a hand in a greeting to them but walked straight past and went over to Nathans table. She sat down opposite him, with her arms folded. Leaning back in the chair you would have thought by her casual demeanour that they were simply aquantices meeting up a for coffee

"Well, you sure know some weird people. They've got their package, said the payment would be at your lodgings. They _also_ said that if it was a fake they know exactly what they need to kill you" She shrugged, but her face didn't hide her curiosity at what exactly that meant. Working with this guy was certainly going to be interesting, but her priorities right now were of the monetary kind

"Anyway, I've fulfilled my part of the deal..."

She waited expectantly for what she was owed

Kayla winced as she momentarialy forgot about her hand and tried to wave back at the nice lady. She had been concerned when she had gone, but she was off too quickly to follow, and she sighed with relief when she returned. Something about the woman reminded Kayla of Kip, her old best friend, and the decision to stick with a face that looked even vaguely like a smile when pointed her way was overwhelming. the vampire just looked worried when she peered at Kayla, and the dentist frightened her slightly, along with the Igor he brought with him.

Kayla looked over to the table where the two had sat down, but the conversation looked serious. She would dash in at the opportune moment and try, sucessfuly this time, to find herself a keeper. Kayla's experience so far in ankh-Morpork had weakened her resolve to dare it on her own!

Veurteilen watched as people milled about and generally went about their own business. As a man passed her, she glared coldly at him, as if daring him to make a remark, as the scene was actually quite comical from a bystanders point of view: a woman who is clearly a vampire standing by a girl with half of an arm missing, and blood slowly drying on the street, it was anyone's guess what had happened, when in truth it was something that most people probaly wouldn't go for, first try. Verurteilen put it all down to the fake black ribbon on her cloack that Nijel had given her, it was almost like magic

She almost lunged at Sasha when she returned, but she quickly remembered that she was in public, and standing out a bit more than she was comfortable with, so she simply stood there and glared as Sasha went and sat down with the man

Veurteilen sat back down and saw Kayla watching the two over at the other table, admittedly quite surprised that the girl was still upright after what had happened

"Ha!" she said, "you have got to be vone of ze strongest girls of your age to make it out of zat and still be on your feet" she smiled a grin that was a bit too toothy for some people, "It vould be good for you to remember zat," she continued, "sometimes a person's greatest disability can be zere greatest strength"

Mirabell had packed all her effects, and sat in the room that was not her anymore, waiting for further development.  
>Pretty soon a young student that Meera vaguely recognised arrived<br>'Lord Downey told me to deliver this to you' he said, panting slightly.  
>'Thank-you' Meera smiled<br>'What you did must've been very bad', said the boy with a grin, 'Downey looked crosser than ever!'  
>'Mmmm...' replied Meera. Somehow this boy was getting on her nerves. Sensing that he probably wasn't welcome anymore, the boy ran off.<p>

Meera glared at him as he left the room, then turned her attention to the letter in her hands. Tearing open the envelope she read:

_Miss Wren,_

_I have been informed by Lord Downey about your Circomstances, and your decision to apply for the position of clerk under my employment.  
>I am happy to inform you that this application has been accepted.<em>

_In addition, Lord Downey has advised me that he might consider taking you back into the guild sometime in the future. For this reason, he has asked that you be monitered throughout the period that you spend under my employment._

_You will be pleased to know that you are to work in the sector of tax collection. As an assassin, I am sure that you will be suited to this job._

_Your job starts tomorrow morning at the tax office._

_Sincerely,  
>Vetinari.<em>

Meera leaned back, slightly confused by the letter. On the whole it didn't seem too bad though, a nice comfortable job, that in addition would earn her some money.

Meera grabbed her belongings. Now to find somewhere to stay while she worked.  
>It didn't seem that bad really, after all how difficult could it be, collecting tax money? <p>

After a tasty breakfast, Talbot left the café and set out for his surgery. It was going to be a busy afternoon as his patient list was full, but he was looking forward to his second client of the afternoon. That was always an interesting challenge.

It was midday by the time Talbot had fully opened the surgery and his first client was a straightforward check up. Nothing untoward there. As the patient left the room, he felt a presence and, looking round, saw Igor, a box in his hand.

"Here you are, Thur. Ath requethted."

Talbot took the box and opened it lovingly. Inside was an exquisite diamond.

"Thank you, Igor," he said. "Just in time. The teeth I promised you will be ready this evening, at around ten."

"Very good, Thur. I'll return later."

Talbot turned to add a further comment, but Igor had gone. There was something endearing and reassuring about the subtlety of Igor's entrances and exits (well, apart from the occasional dramatic entrance for effect – it added variety). The family Igor had been an excellent servant and accompanied the young student dentist to Uberwald. While he was still attached to the Grume family (not literally, thank goodness), they had encouraged him to run a sideline business in body part supplies and some of his time was allocated to this. When needed, however, Igor was available to serve the family and remained very loyal.

Talbot looked towards the surgery door. His new patient must be due any time n… "Ah, Mr Chrysopase. Do come in, Sir. I have your new tooth ready." 

Kayla was pulled out of her concentration by the vampires words.

_she's right. I've lost am awful lot of blood, I should be flat on the floor by now. _

She did feel a little light headed, and her hand still throbbed painfully, though the bleeding had slowed, but she still felt relatively good. But the last words caught most of her attention.

_what's she saying. That only having one hand is an advantage? How exactly? Having to re-learn everything, eating, dressing, writing..._

That was a point, it was her right hand, the hand she wrote with. How could she ever write home, to say why she had gone, and how could she be of use to anyone when that was her main skill? She didn't think that a knowledge of herbs and plants would really come in useful, here in the middle of the city, save for garnishing foods. that was a shame, for that was what she really loved. The plan to work for an Apothecary never happened, there were none here, just doctors who worked in the physical side of medicine.

Kayla drew in a deep breath, fighting back tears once again, not wishing to look weak after being praised on how well she had coped, and set her mind once again to the table where Sasha was, pushing all thoughts of those horrible consequences to the back of her mind.

Nathan nodded and winced when Sasha gave him the message.

"It's just as well the hting isn't a fake then, thanks" _You've just made me quite a lot of money_ "As promised the other half of your money. I am an honest man and I always make sure I fulfil my contracts, keeps people happy and willing to do business in the future. I suppose there won't be a huge amount of business from now on though, since I am a government worker."

He had discovered who had been following him as well, it had been a member of the atch, they had bene quick, but he had retraced his steps and he was a very...observant person.

"They are not company that I keep often, but, unlike many people they keep their word. I hope they didn't give you too much trouble."

To drinks arrived one placed before Sasha, the other in front of Nathan.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

He gave her another quick little smile as the waitress walked away. It hadn't been that hard figuring out what Sasha enjoyed drinking.

Sasha became aware of the feeling of someone staring at her, she turned her head and saw the vampire she had met earlier glaring at her. Sasha grinned and waved, more to annoy the creature than anything else. When the glare remained fixed in her direction Sasha chuckled softly and turned back around catching sight of the girl from earlier, she gave her a smile then settled back in her seat facing Nathan once again. Sasha gave a tiny shake of her head at Nathans enquiry

"No, they didn't give me any trouble. People like that aren't usually the friendly kind so I wasn't surprised at my welcome...or lack of it"

A drink was put infront of her, Sasha stared in surprise at the strong milky coffee on the table. She looked up at Nathan , then back down to her drink. She took a tentative sip, two sugars, just as she liked it. How on earth had this guy known what to order?

Sasha took another sip, set the cup back down and smiled

"Um, thankyou. I have to say you're not doing too badly. We've only just become colleagues and already you know how I take my coffee"

Her eyebrows raised in a question, daring him to explain.

"Well, tomorrow should be interesting. An honest days work." she grimaced at the thought. "Aren't we the lucky ones."

Still feeling the eyes fixed on her neck, Sasha spoke in a low voice "Is that vampire still glaring at me? Man, some people like to hold grudges. I mean it's not like I didn't give her _most_ of her gold back" 

Despite the distance between the two tables, Verurteilen's acute hearing still picked up Sasha's words, and she growled under her breath, to the world in general

_Yes,_ she hissed in her mind, _because most "most" is the key vord here, is it? Vatch you back, pickpocketer, or I might just "mostly" kill you and leave you on ze street to die slowly in your own blood_

Verurteilen sighed, cursing herself, because she knew that she would never kill without a payment, she was very solid on that matter. She _was_ a reformed vampire, in a manner of speaking. She had promised herself instant death the day she killed for the pleasure of it..not again

_Never again,_ she spat in her mind, _I left zat poor child vithout his only family, and for such a stupid reason!_

She wasn't an evil vampire, not anymore, she always took the care to do background checks before she took on contracts, she had rejected many angered and heartless clients in her time in Ankh-Morpork, declaring them dispicible for how much damage they were willing to cause, just for the loss of one life

_Humans make me sick,_ she spat, to herself, not an uncommon phrase in her vocabulary

Nathan watched Sasha take a sip of the coffee and enjoyed the glimmer of surprise that flitted across her face. He gave her another quick smile at the quesitonning expression.

""I'm a pretty...observant guy, in my line of work you tend to have to be, if you're not you either get caught or...uhh...forced out of the makret shall we say?"

He took a sip of his own drink and made a point of not looking at the vampire standing and glaring at Sasha.

"Yes, an honest days work." Nathan repeated distractedly "As I said before, I'm used to it, I work long hours for very little gain, pretty honest really."

Perfectly aware of the vampires accute hearing Nathan leaned towards Sasha and in a stage whisper that was meant to be heard by Verurteilen he said.

"Yes, she is still watching you, vampires live for a very long time, they tend to hold grddges as they often have nothing better to do. The best use of a vampire I've seen so far, is in ashes form, as an egg timer hour glass."

He leaned back in his chair and looked directly at Verurteilen, flashing her his most genuinely charming and relaxed grins.

Sasha chuckled softly at Nathans vampire jibe. Absentmindedly she swept back the fronds of hair that were falling across her face then sat back in her seat, they immediatly fell back so she reached up and released it from it's clip. It fell around her shoulders in a deep golden wave. The sunlight was warm on her face and she closed her eyes for a moment savouring it. This morning she had been wondering if her future glimpses of sunlight would be through a set of iron bars. Opening her eyes again, she reached up and began to wrestle her tresses back into it's restraints and looked over at Nathan, trying to speak with her hair clip between her teeth as both her hands did battle with her plait.

" 'o, wha id oo goo eefore..." she removed the clip and claimed victory over her hair as she imprisoned it once again

"Sorry, I was asking what was your job before our lucky break with the patrician...or is that the sort of question that will get either carefully avoided or a deeply cryptic answer?" she asked, her eyes glinted with the twinkle of experience of somone who is used to dealing with people who don't like to talk about what they do. But after his mention of his line of work she couldn't resist asking.

People came and went up and down the street, one caught Sasha's eye. It was that blonde watch officer from this morning, she looked straight at Sasha who returned the look by raising her coffee cup on a mock salute and winking in a petty 'ner ner, look at me. I'm free and enjoying coffee in the sunshine' gesture. The woman cast a glance at Nathan then back at Sasha, her expression was unreadable and she didn't stop her brisk pace to whever she was headed.

Sasha put her cup back down and watched as the woman dissapeared down the street and round a corner "You know, I really don't like her. She's a good copper" Sasha's tone made it obvious that she did not see that as a good thing, not in the slightest. Good coppers were bad news, they wouldn't take a bribe and took the whole' upholding the law' thing much too far in Sasha's opinion.

Illyah walked into his new office and stood just inside the door surveying the room; there were a number of desks arranged on the floor around a central desk that was raised just a few inches above the others, large windows opened out onto the city below and lights hung from above.

Each desk was a beauty, he'd never had anything like this in the Watch; each one looked like it had been carved from a single slab of oak and each also had amazing inlays of what appeared to be gold and silver. The front of each desk had the city seal, again in gold, and the edges and tops of the desks were done in floral patterns set into the dark wood. He ran a hand across the top of one - very smooth.

_'S not real gold though, probably just gold colored foil or paint._

The lamps on each desk were gold colored as well and the tiles had bits of gold and silver colored flakes in them.

_Kind of like a Guild diplaying its crest or something. You walk in here and know that money comes into this office. Lets you know where the power is..._

The light fixtures hanging from the ceiling were simple in design, but again had that silver color to them. Whoever had decorated this office seemed to have a fixation on the valuable metals motif.

Three of the walls in the spacious office had large towering book cases filled with ledgers and law books...some dated back a few hundred years.

Illyah walked to the center desk and guessed it was his own - normally he wouldn't be so presumptious, but his name was inscribed onto the name plate on front...so...

Looking around, he saw that each of the other desks had the names of the 'staff' he'd read about in the folder given to him by Vetinari.

He took a few seconds to place some personal items on the desk and check inside the drawers. Making a mental note of things that he might need in the near future, he turned and went to the nearest bookshelf and pulled off the last ledger on the bottom row.

"Hmm. This is the most current record of taxes collected by the city. I wonder how accurate it is."

Realizing he was talking to himself, Illyah took the book under an arm and proceeded to his desk. He let it drop with a 'thump' and a small mushroom cloud formed over his head. A fine layer of dust had accumulated over everything.

_Hold on. This office hasn't been used in ..well...sometime. But, why would everyone be gone? I can understand needing a new tax collector, but a whole new staff as well?_

Opening the book to the first page, he began to read...

Kayla say that the conversation at Sasha's table was less intense, so she wandered over, cradling her arm. The bandage was blood soaked, but the bleeding had stopped, and Kayla was starting to feel less light headed. As she approached the table she hung back, overcome suddenly with shyness. She stood behind Sasha's chair and waited.

Candice started hunting for somewhere to eat, as she was starving. Finally, she found a place that looked pretty busy. A couple of faces looked familiar, but she took no notice of them, after all, she knew a lot of people.

Within seconds, the manager of the place had come over to greet her and subtly check if an iconographer had followed. To his dissapointment, one hadnt, so he made a mental note to send out for one as soon as Candice had placed her order.

"I'll have...a large plate of bacon and eggs, and a strong black coffee". Candice smiled at the manager, knowing exactly what he had planned. IT never even occured to her to leave.

Nathan took another sip of his drink and mulled over how best to put it.

"I don't really have a job description per se, my clients generally find out about me through word of mouth. I think the best way of describing it is...I find stuff for my clients, objects, people you know and then they tell me what they want me to do with them. For example, appropriate a particular object. That sort of thing, the hours are long."

He opened his mouth to ask her another question but as he was about to, the girl wit hthe maimed limb came towards them and he stopped, the smell of blood made him nearly fall backwards off his chair. Abruptly he stood.

"Anyway, I will speak to you tomorow I suppose, bright and early."

Without another word or a greeting to Kayle, he disappeared.

Some people may have found Nathans sudden exit offensive, Sasha however was more concerned with what had scared him off. She stiffened and slowly turned to look behind her, subtly positioning her feet to give a swift lauch from the seat if it turned out to be trouble. Instead she saw the girl from earlier, her expression and posture relaxed

"Hello again, you're looking better now"

Suddenly something occured to her, she was late! Damn it, she had been so distracted by running that little errand for Nathan that she had completely forgotten where she was supposed to be right now. It had been worth it though, that extra gold would come in handy when she got where she needed to be. She jumped up to her feet

"Sorry to be rude kid but I gotta..."

something in the girls expression made her stop, Sasha paused and looked at the pleading hopefulness in the face of the girl, realisation dawned and Sasha took a step back

"Oh no! No way. You can't come with me. I'm in no position to be taking care of a kid"

She took another few steps back still seeing that pleading expression putting up her hands as is fending off the guilt trip emanating from the girls eyes

"Look I'm sorry, but I don't normally do the whole 'charitable stranger' thing okay? Yes, I helped you earlier but I wasn't about to walk away and let a kid bleed to death. I've done my part...I'm sorry, really I am" 

Kayla sighed. Her one hope of a friendly face in this horrible town was gone. She looked forlornly back to the vampire before turning back to Sasha and forcing a smile.  
>"well, I'll erm... see you round..." her voice petered out and she turned back to Verutelien's table before her trembling lip could betray her. <em>come on, you're stronger that this Kayla. Since when have you been so dependant on help<em>  
>She just couldn't take any more today, the pain in her arm was constant and... nobody wanted a cripple.<p>

Verurteilen watched as Kayla returned, and the vampire glared at Sasha once again, if her gaze could have been any colder, Sasha would have been forming frost and icecicles, then she stood up and walked around the table and over to Kayla

"Don't feel so bad," she said, as sympathetically as she could manage, "I've seen people have zere whole limbs cut off and still make a living, hell, I've seen dead people valking around vith a smile on zere face, some don't even have faces anymore" Verurteilen stopped herself, realizing that this was probaly not the best image to project in a young girl's mind, and continued, patting Kayla on the back, and smiled, "Do not vorry," she said, "you vill be fine"

Candice was about to complain that her food was taking too long to be served when it was placed in front of her. The first bit of bacon she removed from the plate was snuck down to Bruiser, who was snuggled up in the bottom of her bag. Then she started to eat the meal herself. While she was eating, the iconographer showed up, and started taking pictures of her and the store.

Candice ignored the iconographer and continued eating. Another piece of bacon was snuck to Bruiser. Eventually the iconographer disapeared, and Candice stood to leave. She had no intention of paying for her meal, but that was fine, as the manager had no intention of asking. He knew his business was going to get a whole lot more customers, very soon.

As Candice was about to leave, she spotted a vampire with a girl whose hand seemed to have been freshly removed.

_odd..._

She dismissed the though, however, when someone grabbed her arm. She expected it to be the manager asking for her to pay teh bill, and was about to give him a serve, but when she turned to yell at him she was surprised to see it was her fathers second in command.

"Mick, isn't it" she said, smiling, acting as if he were a lover and not an enemy. "Let go of my arm."

"Your father asked me to make sure you get to work tomorrow. Im taking that very seriouly. How dare you sneak out!" HE was mad, but kept his voice at normal talking level.

Candice giggled, noticing that they were being ignored, and hoping to keep it that way. "Relax, i'll get there. Stress less"

He went to pull her out of the cafe, but Candice stood her ground, then leaned in close to him. Mouth right near his ear, she whispered to him. "If you dont let go, i'll scream. The people here will come to my aid, and you know it." Mick let go of her arm, and Candice walked off. But she stopped at the entrance, blew a kiss in Micks direction, then ran off.

Sasha stood for a moment, she had done the right thing she was sure of it. She watched the girl return to her table where the vampire was still glaring at the thief, Sasha returned it with a scowl.

_You wouldn't understand anyway_

She hestitated, wondering wether or not to say somthing to the girl but decided to leave things well enough alone. The poor kid had had a rough day and Sasha just wasn't cut out for taking care of a kid. Every plant she had ever tended to had ended up a sorry sight of brown twigs sticking out of a pot of dirt, and every pet she had ever had had run away, except for Twinkle the goldfish who had committed suicide. Sasha had decided long ago that she just couldn't do the whole 'nurturing' thing.

She sighed and brushed her hair back from her face. Glancing at her watch she swore, probably louder than was nessecary, and began to run.

A few minutes of a dead out sprint brought her to a rundown street, the houses were basic but well cared for. evidence of years of repair could be seen all over the tiny buildings. Slowing down, her face flushed red form the extertion Sasha headed for one house in particular

Illyah had been staring at the ledger for so long his eyes burned and his neck ached. Everything looked alright, but he couldn't help the feeling that something was off...just by a bit.

All the entries were carefully written, not one mistake was penned. It was as if someone had practiced the entry before it was put into the book for all to see.

_Someone was very meticulous. Very careful._

Slowly standing up from the desk and allowing a small stretch, Illyah replaced the ledger, gathered up his coat and left the room in search of something to eat.

For nearly 18 years he'd had lunch in the canteen at the Watch House, for the first time he had to actually go out and find it. The food at the Watch House wasn't so bad; he knew the younger officers didn't think too highly of it, but, well - it grew on you after a while...The coffee looked like muddy water and tasted like paint remover, but it did the job!

_I could do with a sandwich and a bowl of hot soup._

Stepping out onto the street, he felt a little odd not being in uniform.

The troll's replacement diamond tooth was a comparatively straightforward operation and Talbot had been well paid for his 'trouble'. The old tooth had been badly damaged. Intriguing... He wondered how on the Disc that could have happened but decided it would be prudent not to ask so had held his tongue... for once. He had a habit of putting his foot in it. Concentration was easy when carrying out dental surgery. It deserted him completely during everyday activities, even when it mattered. One of these days it would get him into trouble… again. It had certainly been his parents' downfall!

Polishing the last of the instruments he would need later on, Talbot poured himself a drink and stared out of the window. His next appointment was already late. He sipped the thick red liquid absent-mindedly, not even noticing its metallic taste, and fell into a daydream. A few moments later he was shaken out of his reverie by a knock at the door.

Nathan looked up at the sky, night was drawing in, soon it would be time to head back and tomorrow would be the start of his governmental employment. Now however, he had one more order of business to attend to. Arriving at the dentist's surgery in the shades he had taken in the various details of the street it was on, committing all small details of information to memory for later retrieval. It would appear that the watch officer who had been following him had lost his nerve, either that or they had decided that the blonde watchman he had seen in the square while sitting with Sasha, would be a better 'man' to put on the job. Nathan had found out what she was, oh yes, you didn't survive in this business without learning where the real barbs were. Moving across the street he knocked the on the door and waited. It wasn't long before the door swung inwards to reveal, well Nathan would describe Igor as a man but every time he tried the word ran around his head and hid in a dark corner, so he settled for, Igor.

"Sorry for the lateness of the hour, I'm afraid I don't have an appointment, but I have business I need to discuss with a Mr Talbot. Would you mind letting him know I am here please."

Within a few minutes the Igor was back again and ushering him in. The place was not large, but then what space in the shades was? It was however clean and much better lit than many other dwellings around here. His eyes were drawn to the floor and he squatted down picking up a clump of fur. As he looked up he saw the man that had been described to him enter. Standing, still holding the clump of fur he flashed the dentist a quick smile, holding up the fur.

"Do you have a pet?"

Sasha approached the tiny house which was set in the middle of a row of identical dwellings. She looked casually around before knocking on the door. The hinges squeaked as the door was cracked open a notch to reveal a suspicious eye peering through at her, it widened in recognition and a squeal of delight could be heard from the other side

"You're here!"

The door was flung open and Sasha was admitted to the house, by the time she left it was beginning to grow dark and there was something that could be read as relief on her face as she bid goodbye to the occupants. Stepping back out onto the quiet twilight street she shivered slightly as the air, no longer warmed by the heat of the sun, began to cool and rubbed her hands over the goose bumps that appeared on her arms. Her stomach rumbled, not surprising really considering she hadn't even had chance to have breakfast before she was so inconveniently detained and thrown into the cells.

Sasha decided to see if the cafe was still open, if it was she could grab a quick meal then head back to her lodgings. A yawn escaped as she walked, it had been a very long, very unusual day, and she had a feeling tomorrow wouldn't turn out to be much different in way of length or unusualness.

A government worker? Sasha Vine, Thief, Pickpocket and bane of the Thieves Guild working for a wage?

She shook her head as she walked, if she hadn't been there when it happened she might never have believed herself.

Drawing near the cafe Sasha could see that it was indeed still open and the cooking smells that wafted down the streets made her mouth water. Clinking the coins in her pocket she went into the cafe, looking around to see if the girl from earlier was still there with her bloodsucking friend.

Perhaps she shouldn't have been so harsh on the girl, but she had meant what she said. She was in no position to be looking after a kid, even if she was the charitable type. Many accusations had been flung at Sasha in the past but being charitable was certainly not among them. Being a thief meant her life was far from consistent, she changed lodgings frequently to help obscure any trail she may have left for the Guild or the Watch, she went out at all hours and had nearly got herself locked up for a very long time. Definitely not good guardian material...

_Why in hells names am I trying to explain myself to myself!_

Shrugging it off she ordered her meal and sat down, whilst she waited for her meal she noticed a newspaper on the table, probably left by a previous patron. Flicking straight to the crossword Sasha looked around for a pencil when she became very aware of someone standing at her table, with exaggerated slowness she looked up...

"Yes?", said Talbot with a start.

The door creaked open in a cacophony of rusty hinges that he didn't remember being there before. Igor stood framed in the entrance.

"Thorry, Thur," he apologised. "I didn't wuite get the effect quite right there. I'll do thome more work on it. Meanwhile, there'th a man outthide athking for you, Thur. Thall I thow him in?"

Well, there was no sign of the late patient (what an appropriate term that was), so he replied, "Yes, Igor. Yes, that would be fine. I am expecting another patient, but they can sit in the waiting room until I've finished with this gentleman. I assume it's just a simple check up."

Talbot turned to assemble a few additional instruments as Igor, nodding deferentially to his young master, left the room. A moment later, Igor returned with a tall man who had barely entered the room when he bent down to pick something up off the floor. Rising, he flashed a quick smile – Hmmm, those look to be in excellent condition – and held up what look like a clump of fur. Did Talbot have a pet? What a strange question!

"Er, no. Animals don't seem to settle here for some reason," replied Talbot quickly. "Anyway, if you'd care to take a seat just here, I can just fit you in for a check up, if that's what you need. Anything more than that and you'll have to arrange a further appointm… Hmmm. Yes."

There was something in the man's look that suggested he wasn't here for dental treatment of any kind. Rather than sitting in the chair, he simply stood there and looked inquiringly at Talbot, whose own smile wavered.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I caught your name, Mr…?"

Verurteilen looked up and suddenly noticed the darkening sky, and turned back to Kayla

"Vell, it seems zat I have vasted my whole day at zis cafe," she said, "I must go, as I do not vish to spend my whole night here, as vell"

Verurteilen turned and began walking away, but stopped after a few yards, and spoke again, to Kayla, without turning around

"If you really need a traveling companion, you may follow me, if you vish," she said, "If not, zen you are on your own vith finding someone else to take care of you" She began once more, to walk away, and continued on

Verurteilen walked on and continued into the Shades just as it got dark outside, and stalked along the street, until a familiar name caught her eye. It was merely a plaque on the front of a building, stating a name and the business. Talbot Dentistry, Verurteilen read it, idly sucking at her teeth, the taste of dried blood staining her tongue

It was a moment before she realized that she was in fact standing in front of the window, and yet another familiar face caught her eye..It was the man she had seen talking with Sasha earlier that day. Vhat could he be doing, here? Verurteilen thought as she watched the two

As Verutelien started to walk away, Kayla allowed herself one last look at Sasha's table, hoping to catch her eye. Seeing her absorbed in her paper, Kayla had a mind to go over to her and say... well anything. Forcing herself to stand tall, she marched over with all the indignation she could muster and stood over Sasha's paper.

_if this doesn't work I'm in serious trouble. I have no idea where Verutelien is off to, and even if I did I wouldn't know how to get there... _

As Sasha turned slowly to look up at her, Kayla's resolve weakened at the faintly mocking face that she was presented with, and her face fell.

_she doesn't want me._

Looking about the street, Verutelien was out of sight.

_and now I'v lost the one person who was willing to take me_

Kayla turned back to Sasha and stared, lost for words. 

Somehow Nathan wasn't surprised when he was told that animals couldn't settle. Dropping the fur he watched as the dentist realised he was not here for any dental work. When he was sure they were both on the same page he flashed another quick smile, a disarming smile.

"I am afraid I didn't give my name. It's Gerald Peers I have been contracted for a number of weeks now in order to locate and return an object to it's rightful owner. I have finally managed to track it down to this office."

For what seemed like the hundredth time today, the hairs on the back of Nathan's neck stood to attention. He knew that someone was looking in through the window, but to turn to look would alert the watcher to his knowledge of their presence. He couldn't stop them from hearing the conversation, not that it mattered that much, he was confident he'd be able to deal with most problems. Deciding to keep it in mind he continued.

"I believe that a few weeks ago you had a client, a dwarf I believe who left behind a small drawstring pouch. I would like to have that pouch if it is at all possible. I can assure you that keeping it for your client will be pointless, I'm not sure if you read the times recently."

He held up a piece of the Ankh-Morpork Times, making sure that it was obscured from the window. The picture was gruesome, but clear. It showed a very dead dwarf who had been lanced with a railing, it hadn't even made the front page, that's the sort of city that Ankh-Morpork is.

"This is the dwarf who came here I believe and left that pouch with you. The people I've been contracted to find this pouch for, are eager to have it back."

He decided that he would not mention the fact that they'd be willing to pay, Nathan was forever an optimist, he believed that people might just be nice and hand stuff back that didn't belong to them, not to mention the fact he was a good negotiator.

Sasha looked up at the girl, then looked over both shoulders on the off chance that there was someone stood behind her who the girl wanted to speak to. Seeing no-one Sasha looked back at the downcast face in front of her and sighed in resignation, putting the newspaper back down on the table. On the opposite page she saw a picture of a dwarf who was dead, it was an easy deduction to make due to the small matter of the metal railing that protruded through his chest. Sasha shrugged and closed the paper, this was Ankh Morpork. Another death was of no consequence to her as long as it wasn't _her_ death

She gestured to the other chair at the small table

"Sit down kid. What's your name?"

After the brief introduction Sasha sat back casually in her chair.

"I don't know what made you pick me kid but I meant what I said. You don;t want to be hanging around with the likes of me. I'm what your mother would call a 'unsavoury type'. A bad influence, you would be doomed forever"

This apparently had little effect on Kayla. Sasha's food arrived and she began to eat. Between mouthfuls she looked up from the plate

"I'm guessing you have no home to go to?"

Once the plate was clear Sasha pushed her chair back and looked down at the girl. Everyone deserved a bit of a break right?

"Look, come with me. I've got an idea...but let me make myself clear, I'm not your babysitter and I'm not going to play guardian either okay? Just follow me and I'll show you how you can help yourself okay?"

And with that Sasha stood up ready to leave, carefully ignoring the bill that had been placed on the table with her plate

"One more thing kid, when we get to the door run like hell!"

as she got to the door there was a holler from behind the counter and Sasha broke into a run, grinning as she paced herself

"Well, maybe there is such a thing as a free lunch huh?" 

Illyah, formerly Sergeant Kuryakin of the City Watch was just about to enter the small cafe when the door flew open with a bang and two shapes took off at a run. From inside he heard a shout and looking through the still open door, Illyah could see the owner trying to run out from behind the counter.

_Uh-oh. This can't be a good thing._

The man inside caught Illyahs eye and shouted again, "Hey you! Stop them! They didn't pay!"

"Well, I'm not...that is...I mean the Watch is..."

Nowhere to be seen. It must be a rule of coppers throughout the universe; you are not allowed to be anywhere near where a crime is currently being committed. As far away as possible will do just nicely, thank you very much.

Illyah looked to see if anyone else was about to give chase and save him the trouble of having to do it himself. It wasn't that he was opposed to such things...just that he had never been too sure of what to do if or when he ever caught someone. That's probably why he'd taken to supply so readily.

_Oh hell. Here we go._

He wasn't in uniform, wasn't wearing the right shoes for running and hadn't actually ran in years - so his running was all knees and elbows without a whole lot of coordination.

"Uh..I say there - stop!"

He doubted they heard him, the two shapes were so far ahead of him that he figured he'd never get close enough to see them clearly, but he ran on if only for the look of the thing.

He hoped to spot a Watch officer along the way and let them take over. All he'd wanted was a sandwich and a bowl of soup.

He slid around the corners on one foot as the slick soles of his dress shoes lost their grip. He tripped over various unseen items and caused more than a few shouts of indignation as he plowed into those poor citizens unlucky enough to be on the same street with him.

"I...say...you...up...there...st - stop!"

His breathing became more labored and with a final stumble across the cobblestones, former Sergeant Kuryakin of the City Watch gave up.

"I'm...terminating..pursuit...in the name...of..public safety."

Holding onto his chest and gasping for every breath, Illyah could only stand and watch as the two figures receeded further into the growing darkness.

_See? That's what I'm talking about - we need more Watchmen._

"Stop talking to yourself."

_Oh. Sorry._

Kayla wanted to laugh as she say the man who had been chasing them crash so dramatically, but her breath was short and Sasha obviously knew this part of the city well, as she manouvered about the alleys and streets with a practiced ease that left Kayla struggling to keep up. She was not normally so short of breath so soon, but loss of blood had made her tired, and her sounding heart was causing her arm to bleed again. As Sasha darted into another street, Kayla tried to catch her wind before following on.

Kayla wanted to laugh as she saw the man who had been chasing them crash so dramatically, but her breath was short and Sasha obviously knew this part of the city well, as she manouvered about the alleys and streets with a practiced ease that left Kayla struggling to keep up. She was not normally so short of breath so soon, but loss of blood had made her tired, and her pounding heart was causing her arm to bleed again. As Sasha darted into another street, Kayla tried to catch her wind before following on. 

There was that brief smile again. The man had announced himself as Gerald Peers but the name didn't ring a bell at all for Talbot. He suddenly felt wary which only usually happened to him when… No. He couldn't be. Wrong sort of teeth. And yet Talbot had definitely felt that something wasn't quite right, almost as if he was being stalked.

The man calling himself Gerald Peers was still speaking. He mentioned something about the pouch that Craggy had left for safekeeping and had seemed rather anxious about. Talbot had no idea what was in it and had agreed to look after it as a favour to a client. He looked at the cutting from the newspaper that was presented to him and saw the gruesome picture of a very deceased dwarf. The face was partially obscured by something so that Talbot couldn't see the mouth properly.

"I can't tell who that is, I'm afraid. I'm not much good with faces or bodies. Igor might know. I'll call him. Oh…"

Igor was already standing in the doorway before Talbot had finished his sentence. It could be awkward when he did that but, this time, Talbot was relieved instead.

"Igor. Do _you_ recognise the person in this photograph?"

He indicated the newspaper cutting and looked at 'Gerald Peers'. "If you wouldn't mind letting him see?"

_Why did he feel a shiver down his spine? It was as if a thousand eyes were watching him._

Verurteilen continued to watch the two men conversing, her ears trying to pick up as much sound as was possible through the thick glass of the window. She was focusing now on the dentist, something seemed different in him since she had seen him earlier that day, put she couldn't place her finger on just what it was

Her concentration was broken only by the feel of something rush by her, and she looked around just in time to see Kayla and Sasha darting off into the darkness of the night. Verurteilen rolled her silvery eyes in a I'd-Rather-Not-Ask manner, when an answer had already presented itself in the shape of a man trying desperately to catch up to them

Shaking her head sadly, Verurteilen looked over to the gasping man, and smiled

"You vill never catch zem," she said, to the world in general, "ze older vone is quicker zan she looks, and ze younger vone is far too persistent to give up to a man in your state of physical fitness, you vould ve vetter off trying to catch smoke vith your bare hands"

Sasha looked behind her once or twice and saw that for a while Kayla was keeping up with her just fine, but seeing the girl beginning to struggle Sasha ran into one final ally and stopped about halfway up, bent double with her hands on her knees. She breathed heavily but grinned up at the girl. Her eyes shone with the exhilaration and she let out a chuckle

"See? Bad influence. I'm already dragging you into my dark and crime ridden world"

She winked and stood up straight breathing less heavily now. They weren't too far from where Sasha wanted to go now. A couple of streets away was Sasha's lodgings. Not in the Shades but close enough to them that the rent was nice and cheap.

"Get you breath back for a moment kid, we're nearly there"

Kayla was glad for the stop. Though the run had left her feeling flushed and exhilarated, her arm was once more dripping sluggishly from the sodden bandages. Still breathless, she ripped off her sleeve and pressed it against her arm.  
><em>I hate this stupid thing<em> she thought, glaring at her wrist as though it had offended her.

Candice headed back to her home, and entered through the front door. No one was around, so she went up to her room, and released Bruiser. Then she started to go through her wardrobe, trying to find something suitable for the bar she was going to.

Finally, she found a suitable dress, then re-did her hair, and left the house again.

The queue at the bar was phenomenal, only last night the place had been overly quiet. But Candice didnt notice the queue, instead walking straight up to the bouncer, who let her straight in. The owner of the bar spotted with her, and was over by her side in moments, complimentary drink in hand.

"Nice to see you back" he gushed, and led her to a booth. Candice sat down, and started looking around, seeing if she knew people. She did, and grinned. It was going to be a good night. 

As Nathan had told Sasha, he was very observant and it was clear to him that the dentist was uneasy. Nathan was still not sure why he'd taken this job, the money was not great and he'd spent ages tracking the pouch down. Of course that was it wasn't it? The excitement of tracking down his target, to home in on it and then, finally, to acquire it, the money was just a bonus. Nathan didn't want to make this man feel uncomfortable though, he'd always taken a pretty relaxed attitude to what he did, he hadn't got into this to scare people, well not unintentionally in any case.

When Igor walked in Nathan obligingly handed him the paper clipping.

"thith doeth appear to bare thimilariteth to a previouth client of yourth matter."

Nathan looked out the window while he was waiting and realised that it was quite dark outside now, not late, but certainly night. Turning back he decided not to push too hard.

"I know this sounds like it's coming completely out of the blue and I understand if you need some time to confirm that is the dwarf I am referring to. I could come back tomorrow if it is more convenient?"

Deciding to take his sandwich and soup to go, Illyah had gone back to his rooming house and found his old spot on the roof waiting for him.

More and more stars appeared as the sky darkened and once again he sat there wondering.

_What was I thinking of? Running through the streets like that. I could have...well...somebody could have been hurt._

"You're just feeling for yourself because they got away. Not only that, everyone saw you."

_No! 's not that at all. I'm a Wat- was a Watch officer. I should have been able to do something._

"Why? You never did anything before. You just sat behind a desk counting bits and pieces all day. Even when you did go out on patrol, your nerves would act up and you'd have to go find some place quiet."

_I don't have nerves! Who said I've got nerves? I don't have a single nerve in my whole body! I'm fine, I just don't like things getting out of control is all._

"Face it, you were a poor Watch officer and tonight was no different than your last patrol eighteen years ago. You need help."

_I don't need help!_

"Then why are you sitting in the dark talking to yourself, watching for lights in the sky?"

_Oh._

"Glaring at it ain't going to help kid, look we'll bandage you back up when we get there. Come on"

After giving Kayla suitable pause to get her breath back Sasha beckoned for the girl to follow her. They cut through a few more alleyways and were nearly there when a large shadow lurched out of the darkness. The growing moonlight glinted off the knife in it's hand and Sasha stopped, gesturing for Kayla to stay right where she was. The shadow spoke

"Gimmee all you' money or I'll cu' you up" The drunken mugger staggered to his right then tried to focus on Sasha

"Oh-ho! Think turning into three p'ple will help ya eh? Well I'll show you!" he lurched forward, apparently aiming for the Sasha on his right and missing the real Sasha by a good few feet, the momentum carried his inebriated body forward straight into a pile of rubbish which was strewn against the wall. He tried to get up, fell forward into the wall and went down again

"You didn't ha' to hit me so hard" were his last words before he collapsed into the debris. Sasha rolled her eyes, grabbed Kayla's good arm and pulled her past the now unconscious shadow of terror.

A few more twists and turns brought them to the house where Sasha was currently lodging. They entered and Sasha closed the door behind them.

"Mrs Berger?" when no answer was forthcoming Sasha cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled louder "Mrs Berger? MRS BERGER!...oh sorry, didn't realise you were there"

A lady approaching the end of middle age stood with folded arms scowling at Sasha from a doorway

"What have I told you about disturbing the other guests?"

"Oh come on! The only other guests you have is Harold who is so deaf he wouldn't hear it if someone farted in his ear, Emilie who doesnt care less because, well to be blunt, she's several eggs short of an omlette and Joe who works night shifts and isn't here anyway"

Mrs Bergers glare turned to pure frost which then alighted on the girl accompanying her unruly tenant and the glare defrosted to something which could be interpreted as concern.

"Where's her hand?"

"How am I supposed to know that? All I know is it isn't where it's supposed to be"

Mrs Berger turned a withering look on the thief

"I meant, what's happened to this poor child?"

"Long story short. Drunk guy thought she was a thief and chopped it off. I took her to a doctor. End of story."

Whilst Mrs Berger tried to find someway to turn this apparent show of compassion against Sasha, Sasha turned round to face Kayla

"Mrs Berger is looking for someone to help around the house, I'll let her fill you in on the details. I need to nip up to my room...I'll see you in a bit"

She headed towards the stairs, hearing the beginning of the conversation as she took the stairs two at a time and left the hallway. From the way the kid had been trying to latch onto her Sasha guessed she had no home or family that she wanted to go to, Sasha had pointed her in the right direction, now it was up to Kayla.

Mrs Berger stood looking at Kayla for a moment then nodded at something

"Okay, I need someone to do a few chores around the place. You get free room and meals. I don't care what hours you work as long as your jobs get done. What you do in your free time is up to you but no overnight guests please. If that sounds good I'll show you to your room and you start tomorrow"

There was silence in the hallway as the old lady waited for Kayla's reply 

Well, Igor had recognised the deceased dwarf in the photograph and he _was_ good at faces (or indeed any other anatomy parts that people needed help with for that matter). But the dwarf hadn't said anything about handing things over to anyone but himself and Talbot was keen to stay out of trouble at that moment. Besides, the man didn't look threatening.

"Well, if you don't mind. This is rather an awkward time. I'm in the middle of surgery and I think it would be prudent on my part if Igor visited his cousin Igor at the mortuary just to confirm first. Perhaps you could come back tomorrow night?"

As he awaited a response, Talbot felt a sudden frisson. What was that? He looked past the man who was gazing out of the window. You'd almost think that shadow outside was a person spying on them. He shook himself. How silly! It was probably an illusion caused by the moon which tonight looked very bright and… full. He suddenly didn't feel well. Surely he wasn't going to have one of his 'turns'? 

The vampire turned and suddenly caught Talbot's eye, but before he could make out who she was, Verurteilen had jumped into the air, flashing a quick smile at the pair of men

Landing gracefully on the rooftop, Verurteilen looked out and across the city. She picked out a spot, and then she was off. She silently jumped from rooftop to rooftop, leaping over chimneys and alleyways, it was all going well until her foot got caught on a roof's ledge, and sending her, with a scream, tumbling over the roof, and into the trashcans in the below alleyway

Mirabell sat on what had, until very recently, been her bed. She sighed, stood up and grabbed her things. _Sitting here feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help. Right now, the biggest problem is finding somewhere to stay, and unless I do something, that problem will not go away. Now Move! _  
>Meera hastily made her way out of the room, she hesitated one last time, one leg out of the window before sliding slowly down the drain-pipe.<br>Old habits die hard..

She wandered aimlessly round the city with the vague idea of checking out this tax-office. Creeping steathily over the rooftops (Old habits really _do_ die hard) she suddenly noticed someone else.  
><em>That's suspicious, -why would someone choose to creep around on the rooftops?<em> Meera looked around _ehmmm, well actually.. No. I have a reason! I'm here because the streets are too crowded, that's it._

Embarrassed, Mirabell looked up at the figure nearby again, only to see them trip up and fall with a crash into the empty alley below.

_Ooops!_ she thought briefly before calling out  
>'Excuse me! Are you alright? Do you need any help?'<br>She shinned quickly and gingerly down the facade of the building she had been on before cursing herself.  
><em>Drat! What am I doing? This could be anyone! What am I doing? People wandering around rooftops don't want to be seen, it's none of my business.<em>

Ah well.. now that she had started it would look suspicious to run away.  
>'Are you ok?'<p>

Upside down in the trashcan, Verurteilen kicked her legs and shouted some muffled curses. One of her legs kicked the wall, and sent her tumbling over and onto the ground

"Dammit!" the word echoed in the now dented can. After a few embarrassing moments of struggling, Verurteilen managed to pull herself out of the can, and awkwardly onto her feet. Then she noticed the girl standing in front of her. She quickley steadied herself

"Vhat?" she said, "Oh, yes, er, yes, I'm fine" she picked up a banana peel off of her hat, and tossed it away

"Er, right, zey do not seem to make rooftops like zey used to, anymore" 

Mirabell watched as the figure struggled to get out of the dustbin.  
><em>Hang on, aren't I meant to be helping here?<em>

By now the woman was out of the bin, so Meera stood back helplessly.

'Erm.. no, no.. -I don't suppose they do.' she replied slightly embarasssedly 'In fact one tripped me up just the other day. Cost me quite a bit of bother that did.. Um. Yes.'

Mirabell had a thing about silences. _Arghh! What did I go and say that for? Don't tell anyone about anything to do with inhumation. That's the rule! ..b-but It was silent! I had to say something to fill it up!_

Meera coughed and looked nervously at the woman. 'Can I lend you a hand?'

"Yes, zey can be a bother," she said, then mumbling, "but, I vould not be able to find half of my clients vithout zem" in the awkward silence that followed, Verurteilen, out of force of habit, idly played with the hilt of a dagger in her pocket, then she heard Meera's question, and immediately thought back to Kayla's incident, and she bit her tongue until she could trust herself not to make a tasteless comment on that matter

"Vhat?" she said, "er, no, I think zat I am all right"

Nathan nodded and agreed that he would return tomorrow evening, there wasn't really a great deal of time to negotiate. Stepping outside he realised that the city had been plunged into night and that the only things lighting the streets were the moon and the stars. Nathan was suddenly aware how far from his place he really was. He needed a good nights sleep to be ready for tomorrow, but it looked as though he wasn't going to get it tonight. Finally deciding that the longer he stood here the longer it would take him to get back home he took off at a run. Running through dark streets is never a good idea, running at night through the shades is…well it's never conducive to good health, however tonight the gods must have been with him as he did not meet anyone nor did he crash into anything. As he emerged from the shades he looked around, he was still a good run from his home. As he stood there some unseen assailant clubbed him in the stomach, he collapsed, winded to the ground. Feeling his calm slipping he scanned the street, there was no one there, nor had anyone taken anything form him. Regaining his footing he started off at another run, slower than the last, but no less earnest.

So his dash went, occasionally crashing into unseen obstacles, getting up and starting again. He wasn't sure how long he'd been running, it felt like an eternity, when the familiar shadow of his small home came into view. Deciding the front door would be completely beyond him he pushed open the window and fell through it. He lay on the floor then, the room spinning and his lungs gulping air. Finally he stood and pushed the window shut, there was a click and Nathan dragged himself to his room. Tonight was going to be a long night.

Sasha pulled the wooden door shut behind her, helping a few more paint flakes dislodge from their resting place. She walked across the threadbare carpet to the chest of drawers that stood next to the window. A old yet polished mirror sat on top of the chest and Sasha tutted as she caught a glimpse of her reflection. The sprint from the cafe had left her with a mass of slightly curling tendrils framing her face. She rescued her hair clip which was clinging on to the last available mass of hair and put it by the mirror. She raked her fingers through her unruly tresses, then gave up. She would take a brush to it later.

Taking hold of the sides of the chest of drawers Sasha dragged it away from the wall, just far enough that she could pry up the loose floorboard that concealed her hidy hole. She took up the board and added what was left of the money Nathan had given her into a quite plump looking leather purse that sat nestled in the dark cavity. Before closing the hole back up she reached back into the purse and counted out enough money for next weeks rent and added a couple of extra dollars out of habit. Sasha had discovered long ago that a landlady would be very understanding of a tenants situation if that particular lodger always paid their rent on time and often paid a little more than was needed. Awkward visits from say, the watch or the Guild, were handled with a simple "Sasha Vine? Sorry sir, no-one here by that name." because no self respecting land lady in Ankh Morpork would want to lose such a reliable source of extra income no matter where the money came from. It was an arrangement that worked for everyone involved...except for the Watch of course.

Sasha closed up the hiding place and dragged the chest back to it's original position. A faint scream could be heard from somewhere in the night followed by a crashing sound. Sasha stuck her head out to investigate, saw nothing, heard nothing more so shrugged and ducked back inside closing the window against the chill of the night. She walked across her room and opened the door, faint noises and voices could be heard from the various rooms as Sasha went in search of Mrs Berger to unite her with the handful of dollars that would secure yet another week in this dump ,with the bonus of no trouble from unwanted visitors. The thought occurred to her that she probably didn't need to do this now she had been roped into the new job, but old habits die hard.

She stifled a yawn as she walked down the stairs, perhaps she should get some sleep soon. The temptations and opportunities of the night were great for a thief but she doubted if Vetinari would be very understanding if she overslept tomorrow. A small smile crossed her face, maybe just a _quick_ outing tonight...

Illyah gave a stretch as he stood up from his spot on the roof and began to make his way back inside to his room. He heard a commotion outside, probably from just the next road over, but living in Ankh-Morpork his entire life had shown him that such things were common. Not hearing any associated screaming or shouts for help, he contniued into his apartment where he located the file that Vetinari had given him.

He still wasn't sure about this whole tax coordinator thing, but his time in the Watch had almost been at an end and he hadn't been ready for retirement, so...

Flipping through some of the pages, Illyah came across one marked as being the minutes of a meeting that had taken place a few years back when all that trouble with Leshp had arisen.

This more of a transcript really; Lord Downey was asking about the money needed to raise an army, Vetinari told him that Ankh-Morpork was in fact bankrupt and then gave a couple of good reasons why.

The Guild of Assassins had taken in just over AM$13 million that year but only paid 47 dollars 22p in tax to the city. The Accountants Guild had received over 7 million dollars and had not paid any taxes at all - but they applied for a $200,000 rebate and got it! Or at least most of it.

What was happening here? Even more curious was how this had been allowed to continue. Once the Patrician had known of this he had surely...hadn't he?

_Surely what?_

"You know -done something about it?"

_He did. He got himself a new tax coordinator._

"What happened to the old one?"

_Things._

"Oh."

Illyah got up and walked over the window, breathing the night air. It still wasn't fresh, but certainly better than what you got during the heat of the day.

"Why the renewed interest now then for yet another tax man? Things have been this way for years, why decide to change it now?"

_Maybe they need an army._

He was never going to get any rest. His mind was working over these questions and he was trying to figure out what he was going to do when he met his staff tomorrow.

"I'm going for walk. Are you coming?"

_No. I think I'll read a bit before turning in._

"Suit yourself." 

Nathan staggered into the empty tax office, the place smelt of old leather and light was halted from coming through the windows by the years of dust that sat there. Grateful for the semi-darkness Nathan moved towards one of the silver and gold inlaid desks and lay down. His ribs were bruised and his muscles screamed in protest every time he moved, not a great start to his first day of work really.

Last night had turned out to be rougher than he had hoped, but to be fair no more than he had expected. He really needed something to eat and coffee, coffee was very important. Closing his eyes he wished for a cup of coffee, but when he opened them again he was still lying on a desktop surrounded by crumbling ledgers. A muscle in his cheek spasmed and he rubbed it to try and soothe it, as he did so he felt the deep scratch and paused, he couldn't remember any scratch, how had that happened? Obviously just one of those things he guessed. Finally deciding that being sprawled out on a desk might not give the best of impressions, Nathan stood up and gingerly sat down. Opening a ledger he looked at the figures for a moment before putting his head on it and dozing.

Candice stumbled out of the bar early in the morning clutching tightly to a piece of arm candy. Once again, she'd drunk was too much, but it didnt bother her. The sunlight did though.

"We need coffee" she told the man next to her, struggling to remember his name. "And bacon"

He agreed and the two of them set off to find breakfast, all the while being followed by iconographers. He seemed to be loving the attention.

Candice didnt even realised they'd made it to a place and that she'd ordered until she was halfway through her coffee. The man - Adam, she was pretty sure his name was - was chatting away about something, but Candice didnt know what. She watched him instead. He was handsome, no doubt about it, beer goggles hadnt affected her this time. But the more she tuned in to what he was saying, the more annoying he got.

_shame. He could have been fun for a few weeks _

A niggling thoguht in the back of her head suddenly made itsself known. You have to go to work.

"Oh crap! She announced. "I have to go. Was nice meeting you." She stood up, and left.

"When can i see you again!" he yelled after her, but she ignored him, and fled home.

Sasha yawned and blinked in the morning light as she stepped out of the house and made her way through the still fairly quiet streets. Last nights outing hadn't been as quick as she had planned but had yielded some very useful information from one or two acquaintances. Needless to say the leather purse hidden in her floorspace was ever so slightly heavier this morning, and she had manged to grab a few hours sleep. All was well with the world, except for the small matter of having to go to a legitimate job for the first time ever

She took her time reaching the tax office, grabbing a newspaper and a coffee on the way. She entered the office and took a good look around, the first thing she noticed apart from the amount of gold imitation and polished wood in this room was a sleeping figure slumped over a ledger. She looked at her coffee then back at the battered looking Nathan. She walked over and sat on the edge of the desk, plonking her coffee right in front of him she was about to shake him when she looked down and saw her name. Blinking she re-read it to make sure she wasn't seeing things. Nope, it wasn't her imagination, a little plaque set in wood sat on the desk with the words 'Ms Sasha Vine'. She grinned, that was kind of cool. She shook Nathan by the shoulder

"Hey, wake up. I'll have you know you're sleeping on _my_ desk"

Verurteilen had easily found her alleyway half of an hour later, and settled down in her usual spot in the corner

The hours passed fairly quickly, it seemed to her, before she got up, and noticed that she had a visitor standing, and nervously fidgeting, at the mouth of the alleyway

"I am avake, now," she said, standing up, and tying her hair back, she continued on as the man stepped nervously inside, "you could have simply knocked on a trashcan, or something, I vould have heard it"

"I did not think that it would be wise to disturb you, miss," he said, intentionally keeping his head low

"Vhy are you acting suspicious?" Verurteilen said, carefully, and then it hit her, "you're an assassin, Jasper Marley, I believe" the man jolted back in utter shock

"How could you tell?" he wailed, "I was so careful, I dressed up in these plain clothes, and everything!" Verurteilen smiled

"Believe me," she said, "I can tell"

"It's just so much cheaper than the assassin's guild, you see," he bawled on, "oh, please do not let Lord Downey know that I was here" Verurteilen waved him into silence

"I vill not," she said, "if you vill not"

"Deal," said the man, nervously, and he handed Verurteilen an iconograph of a middle aged man

"Ah," said Verurteilen, "Isaiah Barter, of ze farmer's guild, if I am not mistaken, no family, and lacking in ze vay of friends, I vill take zis client, Mr Marley, for ze payment of three hundred dollars"

"Deal," he said, as he walked out of the alleyway, "bless you, miss Veurteilen" Verurteilen turned and smiled into the shard of the broken mirror that was hanging on the wall

"Blessings upon ze condemned," she said, "how ironic" and with that, she set off to do her morning's work

The visitor agreed to return the following evening but Talbot didn't have chance to say anything more as a wave of giddiness swept over him and everything in his view turned a deep red.

"Are you alright, Thur? Perhapth you thould thit down and have a retht. I told you you'd been overdoing it again. You know you thouldn't try conthentrating on anything but teeth. It only maketh you ill if you do."

Talbot felt a strong hand take hold of his shoulder and he was manoeuvred into a chair. _It felt so hot suddenly._ He heard the sound of the door closing quickly and firmly somewhere in what seemed like the far distance. There was a brief whimper and the sound of the door re-opening.

"Oopth. Thorry, didn't thee you there, Mr Maurithe. Didn't expect you back again tho thoon. I'm afraid Mr Grume ithn't ready for hith next client yet. Pleathe would you mind waiting outthide for a moment while he cometh to. He'll be ath right ath rain in a flath. Oh and here, try thith. You'll find witth hathel workth well on bruitheth."

Igor's footsteps echoed on the surgery floor and Talbot felt his head being tilted gently backwards and liquid poured slowly into his half open mouth. He'd been burning up and his mouth had become dry so the drink was welcome, if disgusting to taste. For some reason he craved blood and disjointed memories began to stir; a carriage travelling at night; a sudden flapping; his frightened parents; fangs; blood; the world spinning faster and faster; blackness and silence. Then, just as suddenly as it came, the illusion vanished and reality came back into focus. What had just happened? He'd had similar episodes before but the visions in his head were more vivid this time than the last. He wasn't sure what had triggered them this time. Was it the moving shadow outside? Or perhaps the brightness of the moon?

"If you're feeling better, Thur, I'll go and thee Igor as you requethted. And thall I bring Mr Maurithe in now?"

"Er, no, Igor. Thank you. No. I think I need to rest. Please ask Mr Maurice to return tomorrow evening instead. He may not take it well but I'm sure you can handle it. Just see him out and lock the door behind you when you leave for the mortuary, will you?"

Igor nodded and left. There was a low grumble from the next room as the servant spoke to the werewolf, followed by a disgruntled growl in response and the sound of the front door slamming as Maurice disappeared into the night.

On the nearby bench, Talbot saw the remainder of the potion Igor had given him and, taking the flask, downed the rest. It was a miracle what Igor could achieve in a well-equipped laboratory. Talbot felt much better now but not well enough to walk home unaided. Perhaps tomorrow would be a better day.

From a large cupboard behind him, Talbot pulled out a blanket and pillow. He placed the pillow on the head of a battered old leather armchair in the corner of the room, lowered himself carefully into the seat and, pulling the blanket over his knees and up to his chin, settled into a deep sleep.

Opening his eyes, Nathan raised his head and saw the coffee, realising his wish had been granted he took the cup and downed it's contents, a dangerous thing to do with Ankh-Morpork coffee, but such was his mindset. He winced, it was strong but terribly sweet. Only once he had drunk it, did he look and see the fortress of wild hair that watched him. Replaying what she had said in his mind, he looked at the small plaque and flashed her a brief smile.

"Sorry, I didn't realise we'd have assigned seating."

Standing he moved stiffly around the room until he found his desk. He picked up the plaque with his name on it and dumped it on the floor. It looked almost identical to Sasha's desk except it had blue leather instead of green. Turning to the thief he spoke.

"Yes, I'm sure you're very clever, as I stood up you stuck your right hand into my jacket and you took my knife. You're not supposed to grope your victim when you are going to steal from them. Can I have it back please?"

Nathan held out his hand in expectation of the return of the knife. He didn't mind losing things, but the knife, that was special, it had been a gift and wonderfully balanced, true there were probably more ornate things, but this one served its purpose. He shouldn't be so attached to it he supposed, it was just a knife after all.

Candice dragged herself up the stairs to her room, and collapsed on her bed while a maid ran a bath.

"You didnt come home last night"

Candice groaned, and buried her face deeper in the pillows. The last person she wanted to deal with had just walked in.

"You better not enter my bedroom unannounced again" she told Mick, looking up.

"You're my responsibility. And you're still drunk."

"NOpe. Im hungover."

"You'll be late."

Candice noticed the maid leave the bathroom.

"I'm not late yet. Now leave my room."

Mick turned and left, but stood right outside her door.

Candice climbed off her bed, and dissapeared into the bathroom for a quick bath. Then, drying herself, she set about trying to find something appropriate to wear to her new job, all the while sending longing looks at her bed.

None of her clothes were right. Most were now on the floor. Mick banged on the door.

"You ready yet?"  
>"Just getting dressed!"<p>

Finally settling on something simple, she pinned her hair up, and left her room.

"Finally" mick muttered, and escorted her down the stairs to the waiting coach.

Candice napped on the trip to the tax office, but woke when Mick practically shoved her out of the coach.

"off you go. its that building, just there."

The coach sped off, and Candice entered the building. The other twofrom the cells were already there, and she was vaugely aware of soe tension in the air, but apart from muttering a 'hi' in their direction, she ignored them. noticing that one of the desks had her name on it, she sat down at it, then lay her head in her arms, on the dsesk, and fell asleep.

Illyah walked into the tax office sometime after sunrise - he hadn't slept that well and had decided to bring some coffee with him.

At the last second he thought of bringing some extra and upon entering the room, figured that had been a good idea.

"Ah, good morning," he said, walking over to his desk trying to juggle his papers and the cups of coffee.

"I'm Illyah Kuryakin. You can call me Mr Kuryakin, Illyah...or ah..." He'd never been good at introductions.

Setting everything down and looking at the trio he flipped through the file and selected some papers.

"You must be...Nathan. Nice to meet you." Looking down at the paper, he read again. "You miss, are Candice - here, have some coffee."

Consulting the file once more, Illyah looked at Sasha.

_She looks familiar._

"You are..er, Sahsa." Not wanting to seem like a complete fool, Illyah decided against asking her if they'd met before and sat down.

"I have been assured by the Patrician that each of you is an expert in your respective fields, but unfortunately he did not mention what those were exactly. That shouldn't be problem really. We're here to collect the taxes for the City of Ankh-Morpork."

He was about to say that this should be a fairly easy task, but things very rarely were that easy.

"I am new to the tax coordinating business myself, having only just come over from the Watch, but...ah..

_You _have _seen her before._

"No I haven't."

_Yesterday? Last night?_

"Surely not."

Illyah stood up and walked over to the window in order to give him something else to focus on for a minute.

"I'm thinking that we should probably work out some housekeeping issues first. Maybe decide how to divide up the city, determine priority assignments, that sort of thing."

Walking now to the shelves of books and ledgers along one wall, Illyah pulled down several and handed them to his new staff.

"These are the records for the last 5 years of taxes collected by the city. Everyone from the average citizen to the guild masters are listed here. Because of some information recently made known, I'm more concerned about the big targets - the average citizen doesn't have too much to worry about from us just yet."

Sitting down at his desk he sat back in the chair and ran his hand over the gold trim on the arm.

"I'd appreciate any ideas you may have. I know this may be a little different from what you are used to, but I've been in Ankh-Morpork all my life - there's a solution to any problem." 

Sasha stayed perched on her desk and noticed the stiff way in which Nathan moved. Making no remark on her observation she simply shrugged when he requested his knife back and pulled it out of her pocket. Holding the handle she weighed it up in her hand

"Nice knife, very well made." She tossed it from one hand to another then made a couple of movements against an imaginary assailant. Her brief demonstration of her quick blade skills was interrupted by the entrance of Candice who then slumped across a desk. Another one who'd had a rough night from the looks of it. Sasha grinned and stood up, she approached Nathan and held the knife out for him to take and patted her other pocket.

"I prefer mine though"

Through her apparent 'no hard feelings' smile something was nagging at her. That was twice now this man had detected it when she had dipped his pockets. She prided herself on being an extremely good pickpocket, it was the first type of thievery she had ever learnt and one she had become very adept at. Add that to the way he knew exactly what drink to order for her in the cafe and the result was a few suspicions about one of her new colleagues. She didn't know exactly what these suspicions were but she was suspicious nonetheless

Before she could dwell on it any further the door opened once more and in came the man she had seen in the watch house yesterday. She listened as he consulted his papers

_Why's he looking at me like that?_

She was sure she had never robbed him so perhaps it was nothing. She stayed silent as she took a ledger from Illyah and flicked through it, Big targets huh? She read through some of the names of Guilds and noble families in the city. It became apparent that her new job wasn't going to be boring after all.

Taking money from people, well she already knew she was good at that but now she was allowed... no, _expected_ to do it and she would get paid for the privilege. Things could be worse.

"So, Priority Assignments? I'm guessing by that you mean we start with the Guilds?"

Had she just said that? What on earth was she thinking?

"The main Guilds I mean. Thieves, Assassins, Seamstresses. Hit the big players first, set an example so we can move to the minor Guilds then nobility then the average citizens "

_Shut up woman! You want to go see Flannelfoot and tell him he has to give you lots of money?_

Nathan watched as the thief made her imaginary swipes through the air with his knife. She was certainly competent with it, but the blade had been weighted for him, so he wasn't surprised when she said that she preferred her own. As Candice entered Nathan took back the proffered from Sasha.

"You're good, it might come in useful on our rounds, I'm glad we're both on the same side."

Again he flashed a smile, now that he had the knife back he felt a great deal better. As the door opened for the second time he secreted back in his jacket. Looking to the entrance he saw Illyah entering and followed the figure of his new boss waiting for someone else to speak, however he nodded when Illyah introduced himself. _Is the guy talking to himself and responding or just spouting random phrases?_ Taking the ledgers he placed most of them on the desk and picked up the top one, opening it up at a random page. The script was neat and cramped, typical clerk writing, but the figures seemed, well they didn't seem to make sense, more money was going out than was coming in.. As Sasha spoke Nathan's head came up quickly.

"I can take the seamstresses guild, not a problem."

He liked the idea of being able to get through a door behind which lived, in his mind, young nubile and mostly single women, after all he had all the time in the world to get the money out of them, he didn't have to do it right away and beside He had a feeling that going into the Assassin's guild would certainly be a mistake. Looking back down at the figures he frowned again.

"None of these numbers make any sense, it says that we are actually paying people money? How does that work?"

Candice raised her head off the desk when she realised she had been given coffee, and started drinking it without an indication of thanks. She then started to collapse back, but then heard that word she didnt know again.

Tax.

"What IS tax?" she asked, sleepily, as Nathan went on about paying people. "People keep ignoring me when i ask that."

Illyah thought about the question asked by Candice and tried to explain.

"Tax is the way by which a city or country can raise enough money to pay for things the citizens need or want. For example, Lord Vetinari won't come to you Candice, and say, I need six thousand dollars to help train and equip and new Watch officer, but if everyone in the city paid a dollar each every year in tax, then the city could hire dozens of new officers."

He then addressed Nathan, "But you are right, somewhere the money isn't making it to the city. It's either being collected and then...er, diverted, or isn't being collected in the first place. Either way, people are getting rich off of the city and it is hurting the citizens."

"The more money a particular person or organization makes, the more tax they pay. The more tax collected by the city, the more things the city can do for everyone concerned."

Illyah pointed to a map of Ankh-Morpork on the wall and suggested that the city be divided among the staff. He also noted the locations of the guilds; he wasn't too sure how to go about handling the Masters just yet, but they were definitely among the top priorities.

He laid out on the table a set of papers, each marked with the name of a particular guild, its estimated income for the last year and the amount of tax it had paid - compared to what it _should_ have paid.

"We can ask for payment up front, maybe offer a time period over which the balance can be paid off, or if it comes down to it, we can begin to seize property and bank assets."

_You would really do that?_

"Er...I'd rather not have it come to that, so whatever can be done to get the funds with the minimum amount of fuss would be best."

He looked at Nathan Sasha and Candice in turn and said, "There is an allowance of sorts for each of you. I'm not saying anything in particular, but you are now...government officials for the city. It might be best if you dressed the part."

_Oh great. Now they'll all run out and buy themnselves brand new coaches and-_

"Hush, please."

Quickly looking down at his desk and the papers, Illyah added, "I'll will of course need receipts for anything you buy with the allowance."

Composing himself, he addressed them again, asking for input. "If anyone has any suggestions as to how we might be able to do this efficiently, I'd be grateful."

Efficiency wasn't a word used too often in Ankh-Morpork. Things just _happened_, efficiency didn't figure into it


	2. Chapter 2

After her strange encounter, Mirabell had decided that she was too tired to find the tax office. She had almost been to tired to shift herself out of the alley, but she dreaded to think what would happen if she stayed the night there. _This is Ankh-Morpork after all..._

She had eventually found a suitably central inn, and explained that she needed to board there cheaply. Since she still looked like an assassin, the landlord agreed without question.  
><em>Sweet!<em>  
>Meera went up to her room, collapsed straight into bed and fell asleep instantly.<p>

'Tweet! Tweet-tweet!'  
>It was morning. The birds outside twittered noisily.<br>'Ah shut up!' Meera shoved her head under the pillow.  
>'Tweet tweet chirp tweet!'<br>'Urghhhh!'  
>'Twit twit warble!'<br>'Arghhhhh!' A pillow went shooting out of the window past the bewildered chattering birds. Shocked, they flew away.

Mirabell consulted her watch.  
>Disbelieving, she checked it again.<br>_Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm late!_  
>Mirabell grabbed her clothes. They were all black anyway, so no matter what she chose to wear, it would look all right. She threw on her clothes and ran towards the tax office. It turned out to be just a street away.<p>

Meera jogged stealthily to the office and peered round the door.  
>'Sorry I'm late! I'm Mirabell Wren, but you can call me Meera if you want. ..Um It's up to you.<br>Yes, so... Have you started anything yet?'

"Ah! Come in ..Meera. You're just in time, we haven't really started anything, just working out some details."

Illyah directed her to her desk and showed her the rest of the office.

"You have already met the others? Nathan, Sasha and Candice?"

As he walked her over to the map on the wall, he said, "We were just thinking that dividing up the city amongst the team would be a good use of our time."

He explained about the priority assignments and the apparent loss of tax money going back gods knew how far.

"Apart from getting back up to speed on the caollecting part - we'll also need to find out where the money has been going. I have no ideas so far-"

_Yes you do._

"I...er..."

_You thought of it the first time you came in here._

*Cough*

"I have wondered, maybe, about why the entire tax team was replaced in one swoop. The tax coordinator, sure - but the entire team as well? Doesn't seem right somehow."

"So we're like debt collectors then?" Candice was beginning to understand. "But instead of collecting what people owe daddy, we're collecting what people owe the city?"

Things started to fall into place for Candice, and she looked at Nathan. "You're going to walk into the Seamstresses Guild and ask for money! Instant suicide." She laughed. "Those girls have a vicious streak."

She started lisiting properly to what was being said.

"How do you work out how much each person owes? And why not start by targeting the 'average' citizen? Theres more of them."

Then the allowance was mentioned, and Candice looked shocked. "We have to...pay...for clothes? Anyway, all the government officials i've met were ill fitting ugly suits with inapropriate ties. No Thanks, not for me."

She then placed her head back down on the desk, but looked up almost immediatly when another girl walked in. She HAD to be an assassin, from the way she was dressed. The girl was introduced, and then the topic of conversation turned to the the fact that the entire tax department had been replaced. It all sounded familiar to Candice, she was sure her father had had a hand in it, but she decided to refrain from commenting, and went back to sleep.

Sasha stared at Candice. Had she really just heard such self absorbed ignorance ?

"You are unbelievable! Start with the average citizen because there's more of them?" She thought about explainning to this rich girl a little bit about the distrubution of wealth in the city and how a huge percentage of it belonged to people like Candices 'daddy' but decided against wasting her breath.

Sasha jerked a thumb at Candice and spoke to Illyah

"Just don't pair me up with the air-head if we have to collaborate on any assignments okay?" She spoke slowly to Candice "Coll-ab-or-ate, that means 'working together' "

At the mention of the allowance Sasha's grin returned, leant against her desk with her arms folded and asked the obvious questions

"Cool, how much do we get and when do we get it?"

Then Illyah mention reciepts and Sasha sighed "Okay, okay. But we still get to choose what we buy right?"

Candices refusal was mumbled from the desk where she lay in an obvious hangover. Sasha just rolled her eyes, then raised a hand in greeting to the new arrival who peeked around the door. It was obvious what this new arrival was, Sasha looked sidelong at Nathan remembering his visit from the Assassins back in the cell. This could be interesting

Illyah mentioned the previous team, Sasha raised her eyebrows and nodded

"That's interesting all right, I expect there was a few un-official taxes being collected, such as 'new coach for the headman' tax and 'new gold necklace for the misuss' tax..."

Or perhaps something a bit worse? She wondered on that for a moment... 

Illyah looked at Candice while addressing the group.

These aren't _my_ rules per se; Lord Vetinari will be hearing of our accomplishments and our failures without me having to say a word. I'm sure he'll also be told all sorts of little details about our operation as well, so yes, you _will_ wear appropriate dress."

He'd known the issue of the allowance would spark some interest. "The Patrician has set aside separate accounts for each of you. I have envelopes for each of you. As I have said, he'll know everything you...we do. That's where the receipts come in."

Illyah wasn't in the business of telling people what to do with their own money, but he'd never worked directly for Vetinari before.

"Somedays you may have to follow a target through the city unnoticed, other days you might find yourself sitting in on board meetings or speaking with the accountants of the guilds. In each case, looking the part is half the battle."

Without looking at anyone in particular, Illyah added, "I also don't have to tell you that weapons are not permitted under any circumstances. All we need is a complaint from one of the cities finest that he or she was _robbed_ of their money, and all seven gates of the dungeon dimension will open up on top of us."

_No weapons? Come on now, be reasonable._

He had grown up in a somewhat sheltered environment, but Illyah knew they'd go off and do what they wanted regardless of what he said. He had never been the command type, another reason he liked supply so much. But, at least he'd be able to say later that he'd told them.

Walking over to his desk, Illyah pulled out a stack of envelopes and passed them out. "This represents ten percent of your total allowance. The rest is in the account marked on the bottom of the envelope. Your pay will be added to that account every two weeks. Once your allowance is gone, the rest you spend will be your own money - so be careful."

He wasn't sure why, but suddenly he felt very fatherly toward this bunch. "Look, I know this is all new to us, but a government job isn't all that bad. You can do alright by this. Just do me a favor okay? Keep the trouble down to a minimum and I'll do everything I can to keep Vetinari off our backs."

_Oh suuuure._

Kayla looked at Mrs Berger blankly, painfully aware of the awkward silence. Her brashness was surprising, and Kayla was a little taken aback by the matter-of-fact manner in which she was suddenly accepted. Blinking rapidly, she tried to formulate an answer.

"I'm... erm... Ok"

_overnight visitors, what does she take me for?_

Mrs Berger bustled away, nattering about all the chores that she would have to do.

"I won't expect you to clean any of the boarders rooms, but The kitchen, hall and main room will need a thorough dusting and cleaning every other day. Mrs Everson, that's the cook, has been a sickly recently so if you know anything about cooking that would be great, but the bow should be back soon so you won't be alone..."

Another thought crossed her mind as she looked at the broom offered, and the dustpan and brush behind her.  
><em>One handed should be fun, wonder how I'll get round this one?<em>

"Where do I sleep?"

Mrs Berger was the one to look taken aback this time., cut off in the middle of her flow.

"Did I not say? well down here with the boy."  
>She indicated a staircase to the side of the broom cupboard tha disappeared into the darkness.<br>"I'll have a curtain put up for you tomorrow, and dinner is the soup that's on the table in the main room. I'll be off now, You'll be fine for the night. I'm the first door upstairs, but unless the house is burning down you'll get it in your ear if you disturb me. Have a nice night!" and with that she shuffled off along the corridor and up the stairs.

Kayla gazed despondently down the stairs and started down. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, she saw that it wasn't the hole that she had thought it to be. There was a straw bed in one corner of the surprisingly large room, with a pile of clothes at the head for a pillow. the signs of the normal occupant of the room were everywhere, Clothes and wood shavings littered the floor. Kayla wondered who this 'boy' was, but night was drawing in and the light was failing, so she wandered over to the bed and collapsed on top, letting the day wash over her and send her into a troubled sleep.

***

_The forest was closing in. They were all there, with their sticks and stones. She was confused and alone, her whole body ached and her eyes were swimming with tears. She ran and ran and ran and ran..._

***

Kayla woke slowly with the dawn, stretching and yawning as she watched the sun climb fro behind her eyelids. The open door let in the low sun that shone through the window and Kayla turned away as she forced her eyes open, only to see a pair of feet right in front of her. Struggling up, her eyes ascended the figure only to see a young boy, probably around eight, glaring at her.

"tha's ma bed, an' ya sittin' in i'."

His voice seemed deeper than it should be, but his vicious gaze stirred her out of the bed and onto her feet. Her legs were a little shaky, one nights sleep wasn't going to revive her from yesterday's fun, although in the night her bandage had fallen off to reveal a clean scab. there was very little pain now, though probing it gingerly showed that it was still painful when touched. The boy saw the movement and looked down at her hand, his eyes going wide when he saw.

"what...who...when...? Kayla held up her hand to stop further questions, to ask a few of her own. As she had stood the initial faintness had worn off, and the sleep had reinvigorated her so that all her old confidence was returning.

"So I assume you're the boy that Mrs Berger talks about. What's you're name and how'd you end up here with that old bat?" she jerked her thumb up the stairs.

"Well, I'm Ed, and Mrs Berger caught me filchin' from 'er cellar 'bout three years 'go. I ain' got no mam or pa, so she's took me under 'er roof, an' I do all the dirty work in the Boarders rooms, cleanin' their chamber pots an' all! It's punishmen' to ma thinkin', but she's good to 'er promises wiv food and board, an' she even let me use the basemen' fer ma carvin' an' stuff. It's all I 'ave from mi pa, ma chisels an' tha', an' I never would have sold I', even if the money could 'ave bought me the board tha' I get 'ere. So come on, I've told ya my piece, yer turn now"

He appeared to have said all that in one breath, and his inquisitive glare now aimed at her was just as fierce as the aggression he showed earlier.  
><em>you don't do anything by halves do you<em>  
>Kayla started to fill him in on yesterdays events as he started to tug her towards the stairs and through the winding passaged to the kitchen. Kayla spotted Sasha making her way out, but decided that she had pushed her luck with the woman, so refrained from waving or calling out. In the kitchen she spotted the cold soup on the table and immediately felt the stab of guilt from no eating it last night. Watching it now her stomach rumbled once more, and despite the weak and cold nature of it, she fell on the soup with alarming speed, finishing her story in between mouthfuls.<p>

Once she had finished, she wiped her mouth delicately with the corner of her shirt and got down to business.

"So where do I start?"

Nathan ignored Candice's comments, Sasha's description of the girl seemed succinct and fitting. As soon as the assassin entered Nathan was immediately cautious, there was no obvious change in him, but his muscles tensed and he made sure he did not have his back to her. The Guild had two failed contracts on him, he didn't know if this one knew about them or the missing members, but he wasn't about to find out the hard way. Making sure he always kept a discrete eye on the newcomer Nathan continued listening to what Illyah had to say. When the subject of their salaries and allowances were brought up, he felt all ears in the room prick. He supposed the sort of people that they were, they often wanted to find out where they were going to get paid and how much. As Illyah mentioned the previous tax team Nathan realised that he had been trying not to think about that particular subject.

"Perhaps they all took early retirement?"

He said hopefully, although he doubted it very much.

Tracking targets was not a problem, but a board meeting? Nathan began to wonder whether a board meeting was worth staying out of prison for. When Illyah mentioned weapons Nathan became aware of the weight of his knife against his chest, definitely re-assuring.

"Well, the only weapon I have is my wit, and before anyone says anything, as doubtless they will, I am obviously not very well armed."

He flashed one of those quick smiles and took the proffered envelope. A brief glance and simple calculation later Nathan's eyes widened.

"What? I make more than this in a d-"

His eyes wandered over the figures and he did his best to get himself back under control.

"This can't be right, I don't think I've ever seen such a small number."

He suddenly realised how lucrative not doing an honest days work was.

Sasha made no comment on the weapon prohibition, she never went anywhere without her knife and she wasn't about to start now no matter where the orders had come from. There was no sense in telling Illyah that though so she simply smiled at Nathans quip about his wits and stayed silent.

She wondered if the comment about robbery had been aimed at her, nevertheless she kept a completely nonchalant expression and simply held out her hand for her envelope. Eyeing the figures before her eyes she looked up

"This is it huh? Nathan's right, this can't be right" she bit off the rest of the comment whihc tried to leap from her tongue

_Whoever said crime doesn't pay didn't know what they were talking about! I make more than this in a bad week_

"Board meetings? Following people I can do but..." she stopped, she was stuck with this job and the duties that came with it. That didn't mean she had to like it though, even if it _was_ her own fault she had ended up here

Brushing her hair she sighed to emphasise her displeasure and stood up with folded arms from her slouch against the desk

"Okay then boss, how about we divvy up the territories then we can go get ourselves kitted out? When we come back you can give us our assignments. "

Isaiah Barter of the farmer's guild walked homebound down the street, smelling strongly of soggy fur, and animal manure. Though walking nonchalantly as he made his way home, he was fully aware of the figure stalking him from roughly a hundred yards back. Veurteilen, meanwhile, was grumbling to herself

_This man vill be tricky,_ she thought, _he's alrady detected me, even on zis crowded street_ she sighed inwardly, to herself, _it is not often zat i must deal vith a smart vone, vut I know just how to deal vith his type_

Verurteilen steered herself out of the crowd, and moved herself to the other side of the street, leaving Isaih relieved, thinking that his predator had given up, and they might as well, as surely no one could get to Isaiah that easily

"Excuse me, sir?" the voice echoed from the opposite side of the street, and caused Isaiah to turn his head. Apparently, he was being adressed to by the disembodied voice, but he soon matched it up with..a rather attractive young woman, dressed in a black shirt and trousers, who was making eye contact with him

Isaiah stopped in his tracks, ignoring the various people who bumped into him as they tried to maneuver themselves around him. The girl had long brunette hair that rained across her shoulders, and down to her lower back, and she stood with her legs crossed, and her hands held behind her back, and her silvery eyes were giving him a worried and frightened expression

Isaiah pointed to himself, to make sure that such a woman would be adressing a man looking like him, and, smiling at her nod, he made his way to her side of the street

"Is there anything I can help you with, miss?" he said, to the young woman who was just slightly over eye level with himself. She looked into his eyes, and nodded again

"It is just zat," she said, shyly, "I am new to zis big city, and you look as if you know your vay around"

"I would be happy to help you, ma'am," Isaiah went on, deepening his voice, considerably, "just where is it that you need directions to?"

"The city morgue," she said, solemnly, Isaiah looked a bit confused

"Why would you ever want to go there?" he said

"Oh, I do not vish to go zere," Verurteilen said, and she brought her hidden hand around, and implanted the knife into Isaiah's chest, and brought it back out, once again

"I just vanted to make sure zat you know vhere you vere headed," she finished, and replaced the knife into her cloak, as Isaiah hit the ground, stone dead, and then she walked away, tying her hair back, and putting her hat back on. As she threw it away, and over her shoulder, the little iconograph of Isaiah Barter drifted through the air, and landed beside his corpse

Illyah was used to hearing Watchmen gripe about their pay - or lack of it, but he had to realize that he hadn't bothered to look into the envelopes before he passed them out. He didn't know what any of the staff had received.

He hoped that if it was as bad as they made out, that in the future, providing they did a good job, raises or bonuses could be had.

"Sasha gets it in one. I realize trying to divvy up the city into acceptable portions may be a bit tricky, but I can go out as well to cover any excess."

Trying to show that he had no problems taking on any assignment, Illyah walked over to the map and blindly stuck a finger out.

"In fact, tomorrow I'll be making my first call on the...Fools Guild. Oh...joy."

That would teach him to be so easy going.

"Alright, how about this; Candice - take everything Hubward from Upper Broadway over to Chrononhotonthologos Street; Nathan, why don't you try everything Rimward of...that street and go to Dimwell. Sasha, you get from Dimwell to Easy street...and Meera gets Dimwell to Short Street."

"That leaves me with Short to Broadway and the Isle of Gods, plus anything that any of you need help with. Sounds good?"

There was a long silent pause once Illyah had finished, Nathan's brain was currently playing the conversation and divvying up territories back to him as he tried to recover from the shock of seeing how much he was getting paid. He caught up pretty quickly and glanced at the map.

"Okay, dividing the city up is a good idea, but we have a big problem. There are five of us," he looked at Candice "well four and a half. Has anyone actually seen the size of the map."

He waved his arm in front of the wall hanging to further draw their attention to it.

"It's not really something you can pop off and walk before lunch, not to mention one of us has got the shades," he decided not to look who it had been "and one person going into their? Unarmed? I hate to say it but we might be safer in prison and not a great deal poorer." He added bitterly.

He went silent and looked at the map, finally he spoke again, slowly at first as if the plan was forming as he spoke.

"Some parts of the city are going to need two of us, just for safety's sake, like the shades and some of the more…difficult guilds. If we are going to be focusing on the larger players then we should probably all head towards various guilds today, they have the most money by far. The richest guilds, I would imagine, are the Thieves, Assassins, Lawyers, Bankers, Merchants and perhaps even the Beggars guild, as strange as that may sound. I'm sure the accountants guild is one that we're going to have to say, you owe us this, we don't care what your books say, pay us or….we'll burn your guild down?"

He looked at Illyah questioningly, as though he might have gone to far, but just checking.

"Anyway these are going to be difficult places to get money out of and dangerous ones potentially. These are, in my opinion, what we should be focusing on at the moment. Also the post office use golems, is there any reason we can't do the same?"

Nathan had to solve problems every day when trying to get a hold of a particularly difficult item, this was a big problem, but when you had the backing of the government it might make it easier. Of course they could ask the watch for help, but a part of him rebelled at the thought and he kept quiet

Candice was hurt by the fact that they found her to be a self absorbed airhead, but kept her mouth shut. Let them think that. Too bad the guilds were going to say the exact same things she had just said, any petty insults werent going to help them there.

The envelope containing the expenses money was placed on Candices desk, and she opened it and had a look at how much, all the while hearing complaints from Sasha and Nathan as to how little it was. Considering neither appeared to have any other job but this, it seemed odd that they acted like they were used to much higher figures, which was another interesting bit of information she filed away for later. They were right though, it wasnt much money. But money wasnt something she had to worry about, so she just dropped the envelope into her bag.

Candice noticed bitterly whe n the assignments weere handed out that she'd been given probably the biggest area. But hten the conversation turned to them all working together on the guilds, so she didnt comment on that either. She jsut sat back and listened as once again her intelligence was insulted.

"What we could do.." Candice couldnt believe she'd even spoken up. LIke they'd even bother to listen to her. But she continued regardless. "...is go in, speak to them politly, and explain the benefits of doing so. if they refuse, who cares? We'll just go back tomorrow, with a few trolls or gollums, and explain politly again. Then if they still say no,we'll repossess their things. Anyway, im sure the rate the guilds tax there members is a lot higher than what we tax them, and there must be laws somewhere that relate to how much they can actually charge..." 

Sasha was silent for a moment as she worked out her territory. As Nathan spoke Sasha put up her hand, her usual grin now gone without a trace.

"That would be me who's got the Shades. You know, I'm beginning to find the idea of the Tanty quite an attractive alternative". Her expression made it clear that she was far from joking. She nodded at the rest of Nathan's idea, still not smiling

"Sounds sensible enough and Golems are definitly a good idea. And if I'm going to have to deal with the Shades I'm going to need back-up." Sasha quite blatantly pointed at Candice not caring how rude it may seem, when it came to staying alive Sasha didn't mind insulting a few people "But not her. I want someone who knows how to watch my back and who can handle themselves."

She gestured to the map and shrugged "But back on topic, I agree that the best plan is to use today to approach some of the richer Guilds...Can we get hold of some Golems? They would certainly add some weight to our presence"

When Candice spoke up Sasha gave her a narrowed eye glare

"A minute ago you didn't even know what Tax was."

Illyah could already see the dynamic working amongst the team and figured this was going to be an interesting office to work in.

"Alright, I guess we have some things to think about. I don't know too much about the golems and even less about the post office, so if anyone can make that happen for us I'd be appreciative. I'll send word to Vetinari that we're looking into that and maybe he can grease the wheels for us."

_What you need are some enforcers - people that can go in and make someone see the light. In your favor ofcourse._

"I'd rather not have to use...threats...to get our point across."

_Some people only listen to threats. Being polite is a sign of weakness to them._

"But if the sight of a golem, maybe just the sight of one, is able to nudge someone into being more cooperative, then fine."

_Just the sight of one - no more._

But that _could_ work couldn't it? Was that it? Have a golem show up on your doorstep with a bunch of tax collectors and, well, the _implication_ would be enough - right?

_See? You do have a sneaky side after all._

Illyah saw the sense in that line of thinking and although it kind of shocked him to realize he had warmed up to it so quickly, he went on with it.

All he had to do - they had to do - was find a golem, any golem, the thing could be a tree trimmer for all he cared - and just show it off as being of _theirs_ . The average citizen wouldn't know - in fact nobody could guess it. But the idea would be planted.

"Tell you what, if someone can get me in touch with someone with a few golems available, I'd appreciate an interview as soon as possible."

"You're right." Candice replied. "I dont know anything about tax. But i do know about debt, and that methods always worked for daddy... and the guilds charge for their services to their members. Thats tax, yeh? Im so very sorry if i got it wrong..." Candice was right - they werent going to listen to her.

"Anyway", she added, yawning, "The laws get pretty specific when it comes to money. Take unlicenced theiving, as an example. Seems to me, tax is just government sanctioned form off theft." She looked directly at Sasha. "Sanc-tioned. That means aproval from an authority"

She then placed her head back on her desk, and was about to go to sleep. "I'll just stay like this, ok. You dont want me to be part of this, and thats fine. You enjoy working for a living..."

Nathan heard Candice but wasn't listening, his mind was already working on their man power problem. Absentmindedly Nathan put his hand on the desk, it sent up puffs of dust and for the next twenty seconds he was sneezing.

"Okay, Candice, I'm sure your father has a maid can you get her to come down and clean in her?"

He looked at the map of the city again.

"The rest of us might as well start at the deep end. Can someone find out how much our figures tell us the…Guild of Merchants owes us? I have an idea how to solve another of our problems and I will meet you all at across the road from the entrance. If I'm not there in thirty minutes, just wait longer."

Mark had realised that this could be quite an opportunity, he would now have access to places he would never have been able to get to before, this could certainly enhance his business. Without waiting for a response from the rest he disappeared out of the door to see a man about some clay.

Sasha rolled her eyes at Candices attempts at a retort

"Aww look, the bubble brain knows a big word. Did Daddy teach you that one?""

She was about to reluctantly admit though that actually the comparison to debt collecting wasn't all that far off the mark but the sudden dissapearance of Nathan took her attention instead

"Where's he...? Ah whatever, we might aswell go along with it."

It was the closest they had come to a plan of action so she walked over to one of the dust encrusted desks and began to leaf through the ledgers looking for the Guild of Merchants.

"Aha! found them. Woah! Did somone miss a decimal point? Apparantly the Guild of Merchants owes us..."

She turned the ledger round so the others could see it. There was a healthy string of zeros following the first three digits

She grinned, this could be fun after all

Mirabell went and sat down at a desk that mysteriously seemed to have her name on it. She felt as if she was back in the classroom again.

_No weapons? An assassin never travels unarmed!_ But Meera kept quiet. There was something about this guy Illyah that meant you didn't want to disappoint him. Nevertheless she still looked disappointed at the meagre payment she would be recieving.  
><em>It's better than nothing I suppose, but this does encourage us to 'appropriate' extra tax money doesn't it? And I think that for some of us here, it might actually be an option.<em> She looked round hard at the rest of the group.

Dimwell to short street? But that was huge! Mirabell nodded at what Nathan said.  
>'Teams work better, we're more vulnerable if we're spread out.'<p>

As Nathan left to find a Golem, Meera said  
>'Golems won't impress everyone, I think that we're hardly in a position to threaten the guild of assassins, for example. There needs to be something more.'<br>_Plus if I displease them, they won't take me back, and I'll be stuck with this job forever. Who knew tax-gathering would be so badly paid?_

Illyah called after Nathan as he left the office, "Just a regular golem please Nathan! Nothing...messy!" He heard what Meera had said and agreed that in the future, more - er, subtle methods would be called for.

Turning to the rest, he added, "Okay, let's see what Nathan has planned. We'll need those figures for the Merchants Guild and I have the letter from Vetinari that identifies our authority to collect monies owed to the city."

He hoped that was all they'd need for their first assignment.

Looking at Candice, Illyah figured this was as good a time as any to try and settle some issues.  
>"I don't know exactly how you were all picked by Lord Vetinari, but I gather he would not have done so lightly. I have no problems working with any of you and considering we haven't even left the office on our first day, I don't see how we can be having...difficulties."<p>

"Candice, you are just as much a part of this team as Sasha, Meera or Nathan until, that is, you give me reason to believe otherwise. At that time, I'll just inform his Lordship that you no longer want to work here, and I'm sure he can find re-assignment for you."

_Re-assignment? Is that what they call it these days?_

"I'm sure Vetinari would be most generous."

_Oh, you kill me! Or her, which ever you prefer..._

"I..uh *cough* think that maybe we should head out."

Illyah didn't really see why this should be so hard. He was sure that most people would be more than happy to pay their back taxes once they saw that appropriate steps were being taken to correct the oversight.

Nathan leant against a wall opposite the Guild of Merchants and leafed through a small book. He had managed to change in the time it had taken him to leave, talk to a few people and come to the meeting place, but he had still arrived before the others and he wondered what could possibly be taking them so long. His boots were new and the good kind, not the paper soled ones, his trousers were black and his shirt was a crisp white, over it he wore a high coloured three quarter jacket of navy blue, he seemed to have the extraordinary talent of looking great and still not standing out. He had run into, literally, Captain Carrot on his travels, the captain had grinned and handed him a book of city laws to do with tax. Nathan dreaded to think what Carrot considered to be bedtime reading. Nathan would also like to have said that he was throwing himself into the job, but in reality, there was something he…needed inside of the guild which had been previously inaccessible, now though he had a letter from Vetinari himself to allow him into the place and the thing was so insignificant he doubted that anyone would miss it. Standing unobtrusively by his side stood, what appeared to be a six inch high figure of a golem, which Nathan occasionally looked down at and smiled privately to himself. Okay Illyah had said a regular golem, but this was such a very small golem, he couldn't wait to try it out.

Candice was offended.

"We're having difficulties because everytime i speak my intelligence is insulted. Airhead, bubble brain, and i'm sure they've thought worse. Why should i participate if im going to be treated like that." She pulled out a little mirror, and started fixing her hair. "I want to be here, otherwise i wouldnt have shown up. Its not like i need to work. But you're right, im here for a reason."

She snappped the mirror case shut, and stood up.

"So please, stop treating me like the easy target. I've said nothing worse than what they've said about me."

She picked up her bag, and pushed in her chair.

"Yes, lets go. But can we stop for food on the way?" 

Still holding the ledger Sasha looked over at Illyah and shrugged

"She's right Boss...I have been thinking _much_ worse things"

Sasha rummaged around in the closest desk until she found a pencil and paper and began to copy the figures out for the Merchants guild, as she wrote she spoke

"I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to do a job...and on that note, it would appear that the Merchants Guild took millions of dollars last year and we saw approximately none of it so instead of worrying about the airhea..." At a sharp look from Illyah, Sasha rolled her eyes "Okay okay, Let's just go shall we?"

She handed the piece of paper with the figures on to Illyah and walked towards the door, stopping on the way to put her hand on Candices shoulder

"No hard feelings huh? I just tend to say what I think, I may be a thief but I guess the honesty had to come out somewhere" Sasha grinned and continued towards the door. As she left the office and walked toward the Guild she snapped open Candices mirror, which had inexplicably found it's way into Sasha's pocket, and examined her unruly hair

Once the others had arrived Nathan flashed them a quick smile and handed Illyah receipts.

"Here you go, for my new gear."

He nodded to the six in golem.

"I managed to get hold of a golem, his name is Spinner apparently, although he's not the chatty type. Okay, I've just been flicking through this book, it talks about what we are and are not allowed to do, we actually have quite a lot of power, I suppose we just need the backup to enforce it."

Again another quick smile and a discrete look at his new toy.

"Okay, let's try this out, does anyone know how much they owe then?"

Someone flapped a piece of paper in front of him, taking it he opened It up and nearly fell to the ground.

"Seriously? I don't think I've ever seen that much money. Okay okay…" he paused and appeared to collect himself "Right, let's go shall we?"

Without waiting for an answer he moved towards the double doors above which was the symbol of the Guild of Merchants. Looking at the others around him, Nathan knocked on the door. There was a short pause before a plate was slid back and a pair of eyes peered out at them suspiciously. The eyes must have belonged to a strangely paranoid man as they darted continuously left and right, focusing only on Nathan briefly. Finally the wandering eyes settled on him long enough to become wide.

"Here, you're that-"

Nathan cut in smoothly

"Good morning Sir, we are from the Ankh-Morpork Department of Taxation."

Nathan wasn't sure if that was their proper name, but he decided it sounded good.

"We'd like to discuss with whoever's in charge the subject of accrued arrears."

Those were both words form the book.

"What?"

Said the ping pong eyes, stopping on him again. Nathan decided to tone it down a little.

"Open up, we want to talk to your boss, you owe the city money."

The ping pong eyes became a blur, Nathan was beginning to feel a little dizzy watching them, it was like looking at a cartoon character that had just been hit on the side of the head, he wondered if the man could make them roll around as well.

" I've never heard of this 'Department of Taxation'"

Nathan turned to Illyah and took Veinari's letter, putting it through the slot.

"Our credentials, I'm sure you'll see they're all in order."

The letter was pushed back through the slit a few moments later, it had all gone very quiet. The sounds of running footsteps could be heard then, a whispered conversation and the flap opening and shutting with no less than three sets of eyes peering out at them. Finally the ping pongs appeared again.

"Look, this could be a fake right, besides this is guild property not city property. Go away."

The flap closed, Nathan did his best to restrain his excitement, he saw Illyah's thoughtful expression though and decided he should probably try again. Once more he knocked and once again the eyes appeared.

"What, I thought I told you lot to go away."

Nathan quickly rifled through the book.

"Yes, but we really need to talk to someone about all these back taxes we need to get off of you. Please can you let us in under one of the laws of taxation."

The man's eyes stopped, Nathan was so grateful.

"What law of Taxation?"

"I'm afraid" Nathan said, trying to sound as professional as possible "The exact law eludes me, but I can assure you that there is one I've seen it in this book."

"Are you making this up?" the voice said a little unsure now.

"No, it's all here, please let us in, this is my third request, if you refuse us entry we will have to use force to enter the premises."

The eyes seemed to smile and start laughing.

"How are you going to do that?"

Nathan pointed down to the small Golem. The eyes strained to looked down.

"What? With that? You must be joking, go away."

The plate closed and the laughing continued. Nathan looked over to Illyah in a silent '_Well I tried_'.

"Spinner, please open the door."

The small Golem walked forwards and placed his hands on the door. At first nothing happened, then, slowly at first, a crack appeared in the door and began to extend upwards. There was a loud crack and the door split in two and disappeared, bricks from around the door fell into the empty space. As the dust cleared the small golem was standing with two very small pieces of door in his hands.

"I'm not sure how it works, but it's something like, he is not quite in the same space as we are and so he looks really small and is very portable, but he is in fact golem. It means that everything he pulls into his space will get smaller as well."

The golem threw the pieces of door windows, they suddenly expanded and slammed into the astonished ping pong eyed man who was thrown backwards and had a vase fall on him. The golem moved forwards and stamped, a crack appeared in the floor that made the doorframe groan again.

Nathan was pretending to look shocked, it was spoiled by the fact that he was trying to hide a smile.

Illyah stood for a second with his mouth wide open as his brain worked out how exactly to tell Vetinari about this.

"It's...ah..."

Seeing a small crowd growing at one end of the street, he turned and tried to assume a reassuring stance.

"It's okay...we're from the government, we're here to help."

Not getting the reaction he wanted, Illyah tried another tack, "It's just business. Nothing to see here. Keep moving along please."

Again, not a single twitch from the on-lookers.

"I say, is that Captain Carrot?"

With that, the crowd suddenly became a disinterested group of shoppers, merchants and assorted riff-raff, just out for a lovely day in Ankh-Morpork.

Turning back to Nathan, Illyah said quietly, "I did say nothing messy, right?" But the fact was, they were in. Nathan _had_ asked nicely and _warned_ them ahead of time and as far as golems went, the hole wasn't as big as it could have been.

"Well done however. Now, let's go and see a man about some money shall we?"

Walking along Baker street Sasha couldn't help but glance again at the figures she had written down, would the Merchants Guild actually agree to pay this much money? But then they had too didn't they? Knowing they would have a bit of muscle, okay technically it was clay, backing them up made it seem a little more plausible...

She looked up and saw Nathan standing opposite the Guild, she looked for the Golem but could see nothing, frowning slightly she walked over to him with the other. When he pointed out the tiny golem she stared at it, then began to laugh. There was just something so comical about the six inch little golem. Who in hells names were they going to scare with that?

She had handed the paper to Nathan and stood behind him and Illyah as they had spoken to the eyeballs. After listening to the exchange she watched with interest as the golem stepped forward

Once the door was in pieces Sasha whistled in approval "Wow! I guess size really doesnt matter. Well, shall we?"

She stepped into the Guild, grinning down at the man with the vase on him as she walked further inside. She looked around at the inside of the building, it was unsuprisingly well decorated with various ornaments and rugs, the main feature of the hallway was a banner hung over a set of highly polished stairs that stated the Merchants Guilds motto 'VILIS AD BIS PRETII'. She smiled to herself, much as she was opposed to the Thieves Guild, it's own motto held close to her heart and way of life.

She rubbed her hands together, actually finding this a whole lot more fun than she had though. She smiled at Nathan "That was rather impressive. So, anyone know which way to Mr Parkers office?" She walked back to the stunned man behind the door and nudged him with her foot "Hey, which way to Parkers office?" when he did nothing more than moan she bent over to look him in the eyes "Oi, I'm asking you a question, I'm a Tax officer so you have to tell me , or else I may have to find one of those tax laws that means I have to convince you to co-operate" she flashed a wicked grin and nodded toward to the tiny golem, the man eyes widened and he mumbled some directions. She patted him on the head, getting some satisfaction from the way he flinched as her hand moved "Thankyou, you've been very helpful" and stood up straight again

"Top of the stairs, second office on the right." She gestured for Illyah to go first

"After you boss" 

_Yes, like the lady said - after you boss._

"Well, uh, yes - shall we?"

Walking up the stairs, Illyah had to admit to himself that his stomach had a case of the butterflies.

_A little nervous on the first assignment?_

"A little."

_Shame really. Same thing happened when you started going out on patrol as a young officer. Pity._

" *cough* Let's see if the man will listen to reason first. I wouldn't want any more holes appearing in the building prematurely."

Illyah stopped outside of the very large, very heavy, very locked door with the name PARKER on it. Just on the other side, he could make out the muffled voices of several men, in what could only be described as heated discussion. Heated, no doubt because of the arrival of the new tax team...and one golem.

Looking suddenly at Sasha, Illyah asked, "What do you think about badges? We should have badges right? Like the Watch?"

Turning back to the door, he knocked. Unfortunately the sound was not nearly as impressive as he had hoped. The door was thick as well.

"Maybe hammers as well. Big hammers."

Candice laughed at the size of the Golum, but stopped when she saw the damage he caused to the door.

"okay..."'

a crowd was starting to gather, and people started pointing at her. Several then turned and left - it wasnt like Candice to cause a scene during the day. At the mention of Captan Carrot, however, they all dissapeared.

Finally, they reached Mr Parkers office. Candice couldnt believe the commotion going on inside.

"If paying tax is a good thing, why are they yelling?" she asked quietly. Then another thought struck her, but decided to keep it til later.

"WE should have badges" Candice responded to Illyah's question, even though it was directed at Sasha. She then went to pull out her mirror, but found it missing.

"I'll have my mirror back now please". she said to Sasha.

Illyah knocked on the door, but it didnt sound very loud. It was similar to the door to Candices fathers office.

"Thump it with your fist" Candice said. 'its a bit louder than normal knocking."

Mirabell had shadowed the company to the Merchants guild. (She hadn't got out of her old habits yet)

Meera's reaction to the Golem was similar to Candice's, though she stifled her laugh - It wouldn't do for an assassin to show her emotions now, would it? Unsure of the situation, Mirabell stood back and let the others get on with it for now, but despite her efforts to be forgotten, she couldn't seem to shake the attention of the man -what was his name? Oh yes! - Nathan. He checked where she was periodically as the moved through the guild, and Mirabell was painfully aware of his wary stare.

_Maybe the guy just doesn't like assassins? But I'm not even a real one yet! There has to be a reason.. _  
>Meera brought back her attention to what was happening. This next bit would be interesting...<p>

Waiting for the door to be answered, Mirabell gave Nathan one of her best piercing yet inscruteable Looks.

As they stood in front of the door, Nathan checked where the Assassin was, call him paranoid, but when you've had not one, but two contracts taken out on you, and both of them failed you tend to get a little…cautious. Satisfied with where everyone was, Nathan shook his head.

"No badges, we are not some troop, the watch can have their badges we have the back of Vetinari."

For some reason at the mention of badges the vision of all of them wearing a great deal of tight uniforms and all moving in synchronisation came to him, shuddering he tried to rid himself of the thought.

"Okay, so they're not listening to us" he looked down at the golem again, Illyah didn't look pleased. Sighing Nathan turned to Sasha.

"Okay Sasha, do you not have skills in entering somewhere no one wants you to be? You don't happen to have any of your tools with you to open this door do you? So there isn't so much mess. I just explore all avenues before I feel compelled to ask Spinner to help us."

"As it happens then yes, I just so happen to have my kit with me. I never go anywhere without my kit and my kni.."

Just in time she rememberd Illyah's warning against carrying weapons and caught herself just in time, flashing a smile that was full of innocence and changed the subject

"You know, I'd quite like to have a badge."

She fished inside a pocket and pulled out a black velevet roll, inside were the small yet incredibly useful tools of her trade. She eyed the lock and selected some suitable picks form the roll. Kneeling down by the door she set to work, motioning the others to complete silence so she could hear what she was doing

It took only a couple of minutes until an audible click told her her efforts had been rewarded, she stood back up and began to put her lockpicks away

"Not much of a challenge really, now the locks at the Art Gallery are much more difficult..."

She grinned

"...or so I've heard"

reaching out she twisted the handle and the door opened. The voices inside had been silent since the scrabbling sound of Sasha at work on the lock had been heard by the occupants but noew a grunt of outrage could be heard as the heavy door swung open and Sasha stood in the now open doorway with her arms folded

"Hello gentlemen, it's your lucky day. You've been chosen as the first clients of the newly reformed Department of Taxation" 

Illyah was impressed; he was thinking that Lord Vetinari had chosen wisely when selecting the team.

_And you wanted hammers...gees._

Looking around the room as he walked in, Illyah noticed that although large and obviously the office of a guild master - it wasn't nearly as nice as theirs.

_They spend their money on their own homes and such, not where they work..._

"Yes. Uh, yes, indeed Mr Parker, you have been chosen as our first collection. Let me introduce myself, I am Mr Kuryakin - you can call me Illyah. I am the new tax coordinator for the city."

He stood in front of the desk and introduced everyone to the master; the guild members in the office couldn't decide whether to stay or melt into the woodwork.

"Sasha has the figures I believe, for your account. I dare say you have been most negligent in your duty as a citizen of our fine city. 's shame really, you should be setting an example for the rest of us."

A box of cigars was open on the desk and even though he didn't smoke-

_Grab one will ya? I might like a smoke after dinner._

Illyah did so, and putting it into his coat pocket, saw the color rise over the collar of Mr Parker like a thermometer in the sun. He quickly laid out his best case for cooperation from the guild.

"We are here under the authority of Lord Vetinari. He will be expecting your full cooperation. I would be happy to tell him that you were most helpful. Do you have children Mr Parker? I like children, never had any myself, but they are just little angels aren't they?"

_You never had any children because you could never get-_

"And puppies. I like puppies too. Shame they have to grow up to be big old smelly dogs."

Illyah found a chair currently unoccupied by a guild member and sat down, taking up a copy of the city newspaper.

"So, Mr Parker. I hope we can come to an agreement this morning, we have so many other calls to make. You...uh, can say something Mr Parker - we'll make better progress that way."

_The door..._

Opening the paper to the next page, Illyah relaxed in the chair and then straightened up quickly. "Oh! Almost forgot! We'll deduct the cost of a new front door...er...wall, maybe, from your balance. Least we can do."

Returning to the paper, he settled down again to read. 

Most of the members in the room had gone very pale, but the one sitting opposite Illyah appeared to be chewing something invisible and his face was going through a very interesting colour combination. The situation was obviously very delicate.

"Actually" Nathan began deciding to live dangerously "We are not required to pay for the door as you refused us entry."

"YOU BREAK INTO GUILD PROPERTY AND HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK FOR MONEY!"

Nathan was very proud that he did not wince at the overpowering assault on his ears. He merely closed his eyes until the ringing stopped. Flicking through the book he looked at it for a moment before responding.

"You have a hefty account with the city, we showed your doorman our accreditation from the Patrician's pen, the ink isn't even dry on it. The bottom line is whoever you are, we are collecting money you owe us, we can breakdown whatever we want and it's perfectly legal."

He threw the book on the desk, it spun and landed facing the man behind the desk, open and ready to read. Nathan felt his temper flaring, his job required patience, but he didn't even wish to be here and he was certainly not going to be shouted at by some guy behind a big desk who think they should be contrite and apologetic.

"I can't even remember your name is how little I care who you are. That book and the letter my boss is carrying says that we can strip this entire place of anything of value until it adds up to the amount that you owe us, if you don't want that to happen the I suggest you pay us. If you have not got the funds available at the moment a payment plan will be set up with you."

He decided with a flash of inspiration, the merchant stood and one or two of the members stepped forwards.

"You know something else, if you hit me you'll not see daylight for so long when you do get out you'll wonder what the strange glowing fire in the sky is."

He didn't know whether it was true or not, but his fire was up, he was good at confrontation, he usually managed to stare the other guy down. He stood there waiting for the fat cat to reply.

Sasha stood by the door and listened with interest

_We can do all that? Cool! I really need to have a read of that book_

The atmosphere in the office changed with Nathans mood. As Nathan stood firm the face of the merchant went through several shades of pink, then red darkening to crimson with splotches of purple. His jaw worked as though he was trying to speak but was choking on his own rage. Sasha couldn't help but smile, she leant against the doorframe with her arms folded

"You know gentlemen, if you really don't believe that we can do everything that my colleague has just told you we can do then I can always run up to the palace and get his lordship. I'm sure he can explain the situation to you again, although I can't imagine he'd be too happy about having to do so"

The merchant glared at her and sat down heavily in his chair. His cohorts backed down but added their own glares at Nathan and Illyah. Finally the merchant grunted somthing unintelligble. Sasha theatrically cupped her hands around her ear

"Say it again so everyone can hear you"

The merchants expresison turned to pure poison, he pointedly looked only at Illyah perhaps hoping that if he ignored the annoying young woman she might shut up and go away. He spoke in a low even voice, but was obviously still furious

"It won't be nessecary to bother his lordship. Show me your accreditation and if it all seems in order we may proceed to discussions of payment"

Sasha stepped forward and put the paper with the figures on the desk, the merchants gaze fell to the figures and he spluttered

"This is daylight robbery!"

Sasha grinned, perhaps this tax collection business could be fun after all 

Illyah listened to the exchange between Nathan, Sasha and Mr Parker, but continued to read the newspaper with interest. He heard the reference to robbery though and decided to speak up.

"No Mr Parker, robbery is done by theives, usually armed and with threats of great bodily harm if the victim refuses to comply with certain demands. We however, are from the government...it's different."

As he stood up from the chair Illyah saw a cartoon by Mr Fizz on the last page of the paper. It depicted an old woman, hunched over her handbag, while in the background several shadowy figures each put out a hand as if to grab her purse. The caption read: Tax Time My Deary!

_Somebody has their ear to the ground don't they?_

"I never understood that saying. Sasha, look - I think this is meant to be us."

Handing the paper to her, Illyah took a step closer to the desk and could just make out the figures on the paper in front of Parker. He cringed inwardly - this was no small figure. But still, a debt was a debt and this one was long overdue.

"Nathan, I'm sure Mr Parker will see reason soon enough. I expect the sudden shock was a bit much." Giving him only the most subtle of winks, Illyah continued. "You do have your _little friend_ secured? I'd hate for him to get loose in here."

"Candice? I think we'll be getting paid today. I don't believe Mr Parker would be keeping such sums of money in his office; could you please accompany his associate to the vault? I only assume there is a vault on the property because I don't think anyone would want us to start poking around their bank accounts. Would they?" 

The Merchants were beaten, Nathan knew they were beaten by the look in Mr Parker's eyes. The rest of the man's face however spoke of belligerence and Nathan couldn't help hoping the man would just try something. When Illyah spoke of the golem and winked Nathan replied with his gaze still on the merchants.

"Well, I'm not sure if he enjoys being laughed at, you always know that the small guy is the one to watch in a fight."

Mr Parker waved to an associate and stood, a clear white flag. The room seemed to relax, they were reluctant, of course they were, what Ankh-Morpork citizen enjoys being parted from his or her money? Still it had been relatively easy, relative that was to pulling teeth from a trolls mouth of course.

"Well Mr Kuryakin it would appear that we must concede to you in this matter, my colleague will show your Miss Candice to our vaults. Have no fear however that I will be speaking with his Lordship directly about your conduct and this outrageous flaunt of government intrusion."

Nathan watched the man and as he spoke he couldn't help seeing the death throws of a struggling animal, trying to give one final kick before turning over and dying. Moving forwards he took the book from the desk and then began the task of blending in. They had got access to the vault and he was sure as heck going to be one of the ones that got a look in there, especially since he was pretty sure one of his clients wanted a specific item stored in there. He stepped back so at not to be so centre stage and waited patiently.

Candice had wandered over to the window, and looked down into into the street. There appeared to be a fair few iconographers and reporters in the street. Things were going to get interesting when they went to leave.

She realised that Illyah was speaking to her.

"No issue" she replied, eyeing off the associates. Mr Parker waved one of them forward, and she smiled. She then glanced at the bit of paper that had what the Merchants Guild owed, completely unshocked by the figure. "I'm going to need a hand carrying all this though."

The associate grunted, and they headed out of the office. 

Illyah walked over to the window and looked out upon the city. He would have competely missed the crowd below if it hadn't been for sudden flurry of iconograph flashes.

"Oh my."

_Well, you said Vetinari would know everything you did. You have to admit, your entrance was less than subtle..._

"Mr Parker, my associate will require some help. I suggest one of your coahes be put at her disposal for the time being...maybe a couple of your best men as well?"

He didn't have to turn around to know the reaction; he could feel the heat rising once again from behind the desk. When Parker did speak, it was more of a croak.

"You - you - Never Tell Me What To Do! I-"

"I'm _not_ telling you what to do Mr Parker, I have simply made a suggestion. I wouldn't want to have to tell anyone that you were, um, uncooperative?"

"Tell? Tell? Who are you going to tell? Vetinari will not care about anything you have to say about me! I am an important figure in this city and I will not be intimidated by the likes of you!"

As he turned back to the desk, Illyah took the opportunity to take another cigar from the open humidor.

"I'm not going to say a word to Vetinari. I won't have to. He can read about it in this the late edition."

Before you leaving the office, Illyah motioned for Parker to go to the window. "You might want to smile Mr Parker, they can make you famous."

_As far as parting shots go, that was pretty weak._

"I'll work on it. Nathan, Sasha, let's go see how our Candice is coming along." 

As Verurteilen walked on through the crowded street, an unusual pang of curiousity struck her, what was it, exactly, that happened when someone discovered her victims? Before she could finish this train of thought, she had already set out to investigate

A few moments later, she had found out. It had not been difficult to find where she had left the body of the late Isaiah Barter, as a small crowd had gathered around the body. A few watchmen were examining it

Hoping to go undetected, Verurteilen nonchalantly made her way across the street, and stopped in front of the jewelry store window, not far from the scene. Pretending to be admiring a black gem on an elegant silver chain, that was on display, she cast her eyes to the reflection of the two watchmen, standing over the body

"Poor bugger," one was saying, "it looks as though someone sent the assassin's guild on him"

at that moment, a younger watchman, probaly a corporal, dashed down the street, and came to a halt before his two superiors, and saluted

"What's the word, Lores?" said the other watchman, "and put your hand down, looks as though you can barely keep yourself up, as it is"

the corporal obeyed, and ceased his salute

"I just got word from the assassin's guild, sir," he said, breathlessly, "Lord Downey says there is no contract for this man, it was a murder, sir!"

"That is the second time this week!" shouted one of the two sergeants. The shop window suddenly reflected a toothy grin

_third,_ Verurteilen proudly corrected him, in her mind, though it was not her own skill, she reminded herself, as they would have found Jacob Waverly's body, had it not been for the sudden luck of Talbot's igor. One of the sergeants sighed

"First, young corporal Sardent, and now this poor bugger," he said, "I tell you this, the man who did this is a clever one"

_Yes,_ Verurteilen thought, _yes, she is_

and with that, the vampire leapt, unseen, of course, into the air, and disappeared, once again, along the rooftops

By the time Nathan had arrived, one of Mr Parker's associates was opening the vault with Candice standing behind him. All the hairs on Nathan's neck stood up and he felt his heart quicken, he knew that his client wanted something in there and now he was being let in. The vault was smaller than he had expected, but the shelves were groaning with the amassed wealth of the guild. Gold glittered, silver shone and diamonds twinkled teasingly, it was a real-life treasure trove. The small group walked in and immediately Nathan allowed his body to start stacking cash for the tax office leaving his mind free to examine the contents of the room and try to locate what he was really interested in. It was like a rivier of coins that poured int othe tax office sacks, it was just as well Illyah had had the forthright. As he lifted another box he felt something burn him and he dropped it. There was a crash and gold coins cascaded all over the place floor, blossoming outwards from him. The noise was not unpleasent, the sound of money but it was loud and when it finally stopped and the final coin had ceased its rolling the vault fell silent.

"Sorry, butter fingers."

Nathan said int othe awkward silence and watched the merchants that were helping them glare at him. He saw it then, the silver goblet, he cursed himself and looked at the others to see if they had noticed it as well. It was a stupid mistake and one he was angry at himself at, but he was pretty sure he'd gotten away with it and on the bright side he had spotted what he was looking for, and never one to miss an opportunity he had grabbed the small sheef of papers while people were looking elsewhere.

"I'll clear this up into the sacks."

Sasha had a quick chuckle over the cartoon, and gave Illyah a curious look. She was sure half his conversation was being carried out with someone not actually in the room...but ah well back to more important issues.

They were being given access to a vault full of loot, could today get any better?

She arrived at the vault not long after Nathan, stepped through the door and gasped softly at the vast collection of alluring shiny little treasures. Amongst the gold sat Gems small enough to fit into a pocket yet valuable enough to line her pockets for a year at least. She stood for a moment doing a mental list of what she could ...

_No, better just take what I'm supposed to, these guys looks pretty hacked off. Don't wanna give them anything incriminating to take back to Vetinari_

She shook her head imperceptibly, surprised at her own sudden sense of integrity even if it was technically more of a sense of survival at not wanting to have to explain to the Patrician about illegal theft whilst on a job. She grabbed a sack, the gold felt deliciously cold as she grabbed handfuls of the cash, the coins tinkled and jingled against each other as they were dropped into the sacks. To Sasha's ears this was sweet music, the sudden crescendo from further across the room got her attention, as it did with everyone in the room.

In the silence that followed the crash of the crate of gold coins Nathan had stood in front of the slowly expanding pile of coins and muttered a excuse. After a few glares from the merchants everyone had gone back to what they were doing, but Sasha was a thief. She had been a thief for so long it was like a natural part of her and she recognised the signs and tells of someone who was up to something. Nathan was very good, he had waited until everyone was busy and his movements had been so slight they were almost impossible to notice. Sasha was quite impressed, his reflexes were really quite something.

_Well, there's an interesting thing or two about my new colleague._

She went back to what she was doing, filling the sacks with the gold and cursing the fact she couldn't pocket any of it. Damn Vetinari, this was as bad as having a conscience although a conscience wouldn't berate you with quiet irony, befuddle you with impeccable logic then sentence you to the worst possible fate you could imagine.

Soon they had a nice pile of several sacks of coins. Enough money to clear the Guilds Tax debt and a very good start to the first days work of the citys new and improved Tax Office. Sash stood up after tying her final sack and looked at the bulging bags

"Okay, how we gonna get this lot outside?"

Illyah hadn't yet walked into the vault when he heard Sasha asking about moving the money. Deciding to turn around right there and get a coach - from the guild ofcourse - he spoke to one of the guild members and followed him outside.

No sooner had he reached the stables then there was a shout.

"'ere! He's over here!"

A running gaggle approached, flashes going off and notepads at the ready.

"What's going on here?"  
>"Who put that hole in the wall?"<br>"Are you from the government?"  
>"Is the guild in trouble?"<p>

"Who are you?"

Ah, a question that was easy to answer.

Illyah spoke quietly to his new found guild associate and instructed him to bring the coach to an entrance suitable for his staff to use.

"My name is Illyah Kuryakin, formerly Sergeant Kuryakin of the City Watch."

"Has there been a crime? What can you tell us? People are saying you broke into the guild?"

Illyah tried to smile as he spoke, he didn't really do crowds well.

"No, no - there has been no robbery or other crime committed here. In fact, my associates and I are here on business. We are from the tax collectors office and we are in fact...er, collecting taxes."

There was kind of perplexed hush that briefly fell on the assembled crowd.

"But...but...you broke through the wall! You bashed your way in!"

"Um...well...ye-es, you could say that. I can see your point, really, but you have to understand that we are simply acting in the best interest of the city. We really are here to help."

"So," said a voice at the back of the crowd, "if you come knockin' and they don't open up their door - you're going to just break down their wall?"

_Yeah, what are you going to do?_

"I will, I mean _we_ will do whatever it takes to accomplish our mission. We are working towards a better Ankh-Morpork after all."

Quickly turning away and almost jogging over to the waiting coach at the door, Illyah called downstairs.

"We're ready!"

Candice was supervising the counting of the money. She was surprised when Nathan dropped the crate of coins, as she hadnt picked him as the clumsy type, but then saw him staring at a silver goblet on the ground.

_hmm, pretty_ she then dismissed it from her mind.

Finally, all the money was counted. Illyah had yelled down the stairs that things were ready up top, so she figured he'd organised a way to get the money back to the office.

"Lets go then" she said, and followed several of the merchants carrying the money out.

Nearing the coach, the reporters spotted her.

"Candice! Why are you participating in the robbery?"  
>"Is it true you work for the tax office now?"<br>"Who made the dress you're wearing? are you still dating William Downey?"  
>"Will you be breaking into everyones home?"<p>

Candice was in her element now.

"Yes, i work for the tax office. Paying tax is something i feel strongly about, as i love this city, and its falling to ruin. WE all take so much from the city, isnt it time we gave something back? I'd love to see the streets safer at night, and the brass bridge looks like its about to collapse. We need your support to make sure Ankh Morpork continues to be the best city in the world."

another reporter went to ask a question.

"shush, let me answer the others. Tax officers are not theives. They're neccessary, like the Watch. how else would we ensure everyone paid their fair share? None of us should be exempt, because we all use the City. and it is a shame about the door, but it has to be known we are serious about this.

as for me and Will... well Will is a friend, and no more. My dress is from a boutique store on Short Street named Stitches, fantastic clothing in there. Now, if you'll excuse me, i have to get back to work."

She climbed into the coach.

Sasha hoisted one of the sacks and followed the procession of disgruntled merchants. It wasn't until she stepped outside to put her bag of cash on the coach that she noticed the rather large crowd, and even more disturbingly the iconograpers

_Oh bugger!_

She hefted the sack up onto her shoulder to obscure her face, there was no way she would willingly end up with her face in any newspaper. Tax Officer or not there were one or two people in the city whom she would prefer to stay out of the way of, a long way out of the way

Sasha saw her opportunity when the gaggle of reporters and curious citizens flocked around Candice, keeping the sack high enough to hide her face she sidled past but couldn't suppress a chuckle when hearing Candice states that 'Tax Officers are not thieves'

_Well, most of them anyway_

She busied herself at the coach helping to load up the bags, making sure not to attract too much attention to herself, but thankfully all the attention was on the rich girl who was lapping it up which suited Sasha right down to the ground. By the time Candice had finished answering questions Sasha was already inside the coach.

"So, not a bad job for our first haul. I think it's fair to say that this is going to be in the evening edition of the papers."

It was late in the day when Talbot awoke and slowly came to a realisation of where he was. His head felt as if it were full of cotton wool and very, very tender, while his mouth felt incredibly dry. Not surprising really considering he'd had one of his 'moments' the night before.

The sun was beginning to set as he rose from the chair and made his way over to the small kitchen where he poured a green-coloured cordial into a tall glass and drained it all in one go. That was better! Searching through the sparse cupboards, he couldn't find anything particularly appetising. He'd have to go out to a bar or restaurant instead. It was a while since he'd eaten out so it would be something of a treat.

The outer door banged shut as Talbot reached for his coat.

"Hello?" he called. There was no answer. Who on The Disc could that be? He wasn't expecting anyone until much later… Perhaps Igor hadn't locked it properly and the wind had blown it open and then closed again. He shook himself. Silly! For a moment there he thought someone had just barged in, but it was probably nothing.

Pulling his coat on as he walked, Talbot headed towards the door, just as it flew open and caught him on the head. He was aware of a sudden movement and flash of silver as he fell to the floor in a daze.

The Shades were a dark and dreadful place, filled with many dark and dreadful people, doing whatever they pleased to whoever they pleased, but to Verurteilen von Uberwald, it was home

She could hear every movement in the dark silence that shrouded this area of the city like a cloak, every shuffle of the feet, and every distant cry of someone in anguish, but to her, this was soothing music

It was only when someone grabbed her shoulder that the spell was broken, and a voice echoed in the otherwise unsettling silence

"Are you Verurteilen von Uberwald?" said the disembodied voice, holding the vampire girl, but the odds were soon turned around, and Verurteilen had suddenly seemed to have disappeared and materialised behind her stalker's back

"Zat depends on who vants to know," she whispered into the now suddenly frightened girl's ear, she quickly spun around so as to face Verurteilen, who smiled, "I see you for vhat you really are, you know, miss Mauria Barleysvay," said the vampire, her silvery eyes gleaming in the darkness, the werewolf girl, however, did not seem surprised at this bit of information

"I am here on business related matters, miss Verurteilen," she said, "and I am willing to pay you very well"

"I see," said Verurteilen, "and who is zis 'business' of vhich you speak, miss Barleysvay?" silently, the werewolf handed over an iconograph to the vampire girl, who suddenly burst out laughing

"Maurice Capenspire?" she said, "you vant me to take out an _assassin?_"

"What do you say, then, miss Verurteilen?" Mauria went on, offering out her hand, Verurteilen smiled, and shook it, closing the deal that has been offered to her

"It vill be undoubtedly be a good challenge, miss Barleysvay," she said, "I accept zis contract" and with a nod, Mauria shifted her form, and dashed away, further into the shades

when she was gone, Verurteilen took out a knife from her cloak, and turned it so that it flashed in what little light was allowed into the shades

"I believe zat zis is going to be very interesting," she had said, quite confidently

As Nathan emerged from the guild he watched Candice wave and get into the coach . By the look of it they had all been clustered around her, but now, it would appear, they weren't.

"Damn."

He muttered and started towards the coach as fast as he dared wit ha large sack of cash over his shoulder.

"Excuse me." A voice said before the world went white.

Purple flecks danced in front of Nathan's eyes and as they cleared he saw the man with the iconograph being swallowed up by the mass of people that were beginning to surround him, all of them asking questions simultaneously so that all he ended up hearing was a buzz of jumbled voices. The crowd around him felt like a physical weight, crushing him. Having photos taken of himself was not going to be great for business, his hand hurt and his progress to the coach had become painfully slow. There was not a lot he could do though, if he lost his temper and tried to barrel his way through the crowd it would gain him even more attention. Finally the small golem appeared with a tiny sack held in his hand. He moved through the crowd, if the crowd wasn't going to move that was it's problem. The small golem got to the coach and entered, leaving a pile of bruised and groaning people behind him. Realising his opportunity, Nathan raced forwards and jumped up, closing the door behind him. The carriage juddered and moved off.

"Well, I guess people don't like having money taken off of them….who knew?"

He drew the curtain back a crack and saw the crowd dispersing.

"So, what's our commission?"

He said flashing a quick smile.

Once they were all back at the Tax office, the gold was unloaded dumped into the vault, they would sort it out later, the Merchants guild was ticked off. Looking out of the smudged window Nathan noticed that it was already afternoon,

"Well that's one down and gods know how many more. It's afternoon already, if we carry on like this it's going to take us forever to go around just getting back pay."

He turned questioningly to the others to see if they might not have noticed the same thing.

"I agree. This could take time, but then again, I think once word gets out about us, the possibility of having to go around again will be greatly reduced."

Illyah had sat behind his desk to make an entry into a log and maybe send off a quick note to Vetinari.

"Let's do a few more of these and see how things go. Once we see what we're up against and what we need to do the job, I can get us some more help."

He quickly scribbled the word _coahes_ on a scrap of paper.

"Right now, I can say two things for certain; first, Sasha was right, our little job this morning is going to be in the paper before dinner time; second, I'll bet anything that before we left, word was spreading through the other guilds. Right now they're either trying move money around the city, or running to Vetinari complaining about this injustice."

_Don't forget..._

"Ah, yes - good work this morning! I'm sure we are going to get along just fine."

Sasha had not spoken much since getting inside the coach, once they had arrived back at the office she had helped to shift the money into the vault then returned to the office. She walked over to her desk and sat down on the leather covered chair behind it. She put her feet on the desk, crossing her legs and leaning back with her arms folded.

"The boss has a point, once people learn that we will bust down the door to a Guild to get what we are owed I'm guessing it will get a little bit quicker to collect the back-pay. It's all about setting an example. Once the big players are forced to hand over the readies then the small fry should follow without a problem, and if they don't..." a broad grin "...that's where we come in"

Sasha looked at the afternoon light filtering through the window, she was feeling good. That sense of satisfaction that came with relieving people of large amounts of cash, it never failed to put her in a good mood. She looked at the board with the city map pinned on it

"So who's going to be our next target tomorrow then boss? Another Guild for sure, but which one?"

Leaning back further in her chair she put her hands behind her head and gave a small nod

"Not a bad result for our first day." She covered her stomach as it gurgled "Do we get a lunch break? I'm starving"

Candice had sat back down at her desk.

"There'll be people here tomorrow." she said, leaning back in her chair. "They'll want to pay their taxes."

Jeannie commented about lunch.

"Yeh lunch! Im starving. Letsgo get food."

"Tell you what - go take a lunch, enjoy yourselves. We'll meet back here later. I want to take a look at something here."

Illyah had a small nagging thought at the back of his mind ever since he had seen the bags of money being loaded into the coach.

_If you think I'm hanging around while you count all that, you are sadly mistaken._

"I'm also thinking that we may need more staff eventually. If people do show up on their own to pay taxes, we'll need someone to man a desk...or two."

Looking over at the map of the city he saw that someone had put a red stick pin in the place for the Merchants Guild.

_If those guys got away without paying for all this time, you know who would be the next likely bunch._

"The Thieves Guild. Right. That's it then - we'll try them next."

Mirabell had been trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. It had worked right up to the point where she started trying to transport the gold.

"_'ere look! There's another one 'ere!_"

Catching other people's attention felt so, so wrong!

"_Careful Stan, looks like an assassin. You don't want any bother.._"  
>The man looked worried for a minute, then checked himself saying<br>"_Naaaah.. 'e's young, n' anyway, they don't kill anyone that they don't 'ave a contract on..._" He turned to Meera "_so mister,_" he grinned winningly "_ you an assassin or a tax collector?_

Mirabell blushed furiously, and was immediately angry at herself for doing so. She opened her mouth to respond wittily with something along the lines of  
>'Well I don't know who you're talking to 'cos I don't see any men right here, but you're lucky I <em>don't<em> have a contract on you.'  
>Unfortunately the words got lost on the way to her mouth and she just whispered<br>"tax-collector" before scuttling off embarrassed to the coach.

Once back at the office Meera listened to the decision being made over where to go next.  
><em>Not the assassins guild! Not the assassins guild! NotTheAssassinsGuild NotTheAssassinsGuild!<em>  
>Meera breathed a sigh of relief as the Thieves guild was chosen. She did not want to be the one to face lord downey, much less to take money away from him. She had the feeling that the man could easily find people to take out a contract on them if he so wished.<p>

Mirabell's stomach rumbled, but she didn't have much money.. _Don't worry, you'll eat lots tonight, no need to eat anything much now..._ That was the thing to tell herself, who knew? -She might even be right!  
>So Mirabell lagged behind a bit, and heard Illya speak again.<br>"Um.. Excuse me, but are you talking to me?" She asked him.

Sasha closed her eyes at the mention of the Thieves Guild and uttered a silent curse. She knew it would have to happen eventually but...

Only someone watching her closely would have noticed the forced brightness of her voice and expression

"The Thieves Guild? Okay, so we hit them tomorrow." She stood up, perhaps quicker than was nessecary "Well, time for lunch"

As she walked towards the door she imagined the scene, of her standing infront of Boggis and demanding he pay a huge amount of money in taxes. It would be...interesting

"Are you alright, Thur?"

Talbot steadied himself as he tried to get up. "Wha…..?"

"You were thlumped on the floor when I came in jutht now, Thur. And that'th a nathty cut on your hand. I'll jutht get my thurgical bag. Won't be a moment."

Before Talbot could reply, Igor had hurried out and rummaging sounds could be heard in the next room. Talbot lifted his hands in front of his face and saw his right hand had a deep gash on the palm which was bleeding profusely. His head felt delicate and, although he couldn't remember anything in particular, he was sure someone must have knocked him out with something. Before he had chance to think any more about it, Igor returned and immediately began stitching. Aaaargh! "Anaesthetic, Igor! Please!" he shouted.

"Thorry, Thur! I forgot. It'th jutht that I'm not uthed to patientth who are conthiouth."

Igor went over to the table and selected a syringe and phial from which he drew a suitable dose for Talbot. A few minutes later and Igor was able to resume his surgical exploits and repair the hand painlessly – and very neatly, as it turned out. Talbot wondered whether the Igors also had a sideline in embroidery and tapestry heirloom production…

"Thank you, Igor", he said. "I wonder who my assailant was and why they chose to come here and do… well, whatever it is they came to do." The two men slowly looked at each other and Talbot raised an eyebrow – something Igor could no longer achieve himself, at least not without installing bionics in his forehead - "I wonder…", he said. They both looked towards a small cupboard in the corner, the door of which had been prised open. It was easy to see from the doorway that it was empty.

"So much for Craggy's pouch with whatever it had in it." Talbot hoped that whoever it was had got what they wanted and that that would be the end of it. He headed back towards the door and was about to set out into the street when something shiny caught his eye. Bending down, he picked up a small crescent-shaped amulet and, with a puzzled look, put it in his pocket. Oh well. One item lost and another found.

"I'll just go and have a drink and maybe a bite… to eat, that is, Igor." The manservant merely nodded and turned to replace the syringe on the table. With his back turned to Talbot, Igor's look of concern went unnoticed.

The street was busy as the dentist stepped outside. He doubted whether anyone would have noticed anything unusual. After all, very little that happened in The Shades could ever be described as _usual_. Shrugging slightly, Talbot headed off towards one of the local taverns. Perhaps he _should_ have that drink first.

Candice stood up, happy. She was starving!

As shewas about to leave she saw Sasha's slight panic at the mention of the thieves guild.

_ah of course..._

Sasha had made it clear to Candice that she WAS a thief. but the only time thieves ended up in the cells was if they were unlicenced. Tomorrow was going to be very interesting.

Candice was about to leave, then realised the assassin girl was still just standing there.

"You coming? My shout." 

_They have machines for that sort of thing. I'm not counting out all that money._

Illyah watched as the team filed out and caught himself as Meera spoke to him.

"Huh? No..I...uh, I was just thinking out loud there for a second."

_Oh, go on, you can tell them..._

"I'm fine."

With that, they left.

Illyah thought about Meera. She was so quiet that it was easy to forget that she was even in the room with you. That, and she dressed like an assassin...what was she thinking?

_She is who she is._

"What do you mean by that?"

_She _is _an assassin._

"No-o-o. She's too...I mean, she's not... You think?"

Next to Illyah, a cigar hung in the air, slowly smoking away.

_After all these years, you still think like the child I met in The Shades._

Illyah got up from the desk and made his way back to the vault. He saw the bags of money on the floor and realized that yes, it would be too much to count by hand.

"Okay, show me this 'counting machine'." 

Nathan watched Illyah, something had been bothering him about the guy. It seemed as though he were listening to someone who wasn't there before replying out loud. The htought of it engrossed him to such an extent that only the mention of the theieves guild was enough to jolt him from his revery. The Thieves and the Assassins were both annoyed at him at the moment, butt despite his concern for himself, he managed to note the force joviality of Sasha, not to metnio nthe slight dilation of her pupils, she was nervous. She was a thief why should she be nerovus? The answer came to him and seemed obvious after a moments thought, however he decided it would probably be unwise to talk about it, they all had their secrets. The mention of food reminded him of how hungry he was and the lunch break was a good idea. Unfortunatley, it was unlikely he was going ot get any food down him, there was too much he needed to do. He felt the papers nestled safely in his shirt, these needed to be conveyed somewhere safe before the merchants noticed that they were missing. Nathan doubted that htey would go to the watch, the contents of the papers were...sensitive.

Following the rest of them to the entrnace he said.

"Listen, I'll catch up with you guys back here in a little while, I've got some stuff I need to do."

He had realised that going to see the Dentist tonight would not be a good idea, well not unless he wanted to scare the guy wittless. He looked at his palm, it stil looked pink and tender but it would heal.

Nathan was always amazed how the shades alwyas managed to seem gloomy and dark even on the brightest of days. As he wandered his way through them, he felt like he was being thrust into deep night. It didn't take him long to find the surgery of the dentist, but when he got near he stopped and felt his enitre body shudder. Moving with a quickened pace he stood in front of the door, composing himself before knocking. It was as he raised his hand for the second knock that the door was opened and what he had sensed became stronger. Despite himself he flashed the six fingered fellow before him a quick smile.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm early, but I was meant to come and see Dr Talbot again this evening, I was wondering if he was available now."

"I'm afraid the mathter is out at the moment, would you like to come in and wait for him?"

Unwilling to seem to eager Nathan looked at the sky (as if you could see it in the shades) and nodded stepping inside.

"He thouldn't be long thir, can I get you thomething to eat or drink?"

The smell was so strong here it blotted out almost everything else and he trembled again. Taking control of hismelf he sawllowed.

"Coffee would be great."

He knew that the scent was strongest in the next room, but to move into there with Igor here and the guy coming back gods knew when? Nathan would have to sit and be patient.

Illyah found the machine in the corner of the vault under a cover of dust.

It looked simple enough; the coins got poured into the bucket at the top, fell through various openings depending on thier size and were directed to one of several tubes. The tubes in turn were equipped with small cloth bags that held one hundred or a thousand coins depending on the denomination. Once the bag was full, another was rotated into place.

Presumably, the bags were kept small in order to make it easier to track specific amounts.

The machine wasn't set up to count paper money as that was a more recent addition to the currency, so that would still have to be done by hand.

_Unless whoever made this thing could make another._

"Yeah, that's an idea."

Deciding to give it a try, Illyah took one of the bags of coins and began pouring some into the beast. They all got stuck in the bucket and wouldn't move.

_There's a handle on the side._

The handle began moving while Illyah poured even more coins into the top. Slowly but surely, the money began to fall into place and sorted itself out according to denomination.

"Makes an awful racket don't it?"

The telltale sling-sling of coins rolling through the machine was interrupted now again with a slight grinding noise. It didn't seem to affect the operation - probably just a cry for oil.

In no time at all, the coins from the bag were divided, counted and stacked neatly on the shelves of the vault.

"That was easy enough. An hour or so of that and our bags from the Merchant Guild can be sorted."

_Interesting..._

Closing the door to the vault, Illyah didn't catch the small glint from under the machine.

Sasha had headed out of the office quickly, for once she was frowning. But techincally the guild could't do anything to her now could they? Vetinaris letter had said he would take care of that. She took a deep breath, well she would just have to hope he had been telling the truth.

As she stepped out in the bustle of the city streets Sasha rememberd the allowance they had been given. Her grin came back, well a bit of shopping would help take her mind off the Thieves Guild...and she would be actually paying for it. The novelty of such an idea was fairly enticing and so she began to walk towards Market Street, there was a pretty good little tailors shop down there from what she could remember

She took her time, observing people out of habit for the opportunities that allowed her to ply her trade. When she arrived at the little shop she oushed open the door, a bell jangled and a middle-aged woman peeked out from the back room. A quick once over of Sasha earned a expression of bored interest, as if she thought it was obvious that there wan't going to be much money made from this customer. The woman walked our from behind the curtain and took her place behind the counter

"Can I help you?"

Sasha looked around the shop, through the half pulled curtain covering the back room she could see a half constructed suit on a tailors dummy. The shop itself was small yet clean and had a huge range of rolls of fabric stuffed into various shelves, a few items of clothing were on a rack in the middle of the shop and Sasha wanderd over to them

"Yes, I sure hope so. I'm looking for some clothes for my new job. I need somthing smart, y'know for meeting's and stuff"

The look on the womans face made it clear she found it hard to believe that this particular customer could be in any line of work that involved smart clothes, yet she managed an icey smile in Sasha's direction

"Well, I'm sure we can help you, although I'm not sure we would have anything in your price range, what may I ask is your line of work?"

Sasha had been browsing the various garments on the rack, but looked straight at the woman now

"Tax Collector"

The icey smile suddenly melted away as fast as the colour in the womans face.

"Tax collector? I-I see. Would you happen to be anything to do with the disturbance at the Merchants Guild earlier? My cousin Ernie works there and he told me that they blew the doors off then..."

Sasha flashed a grin and cut the woman off mid-sentence

"Yep, that was us. Only we didn't blow the doors off, our golem ripped them to pieces"

The womans eyes went wide and she looked around her tiny shop "I see, and this golem..he wouldn't happen to be anywhere near here would he?"

Sasha shrugged "Who knows, he's pretty hard to notice. Anyway, about my clothes..."

The woman nodded "Y-yes, of course. I'm sure we can find somthing that will suit, hahaha, you"

The nervous laugh from the shop keeper made it pretty obvious that one mention of the T-word and people immediatly thought you were going to cause trouble for them. Sasha bit back a grin and nodded

"That would be wonderful thankyou"

The woman, who introduced herself as Mrs Trimmer bustled off to grab various items...

...it had taken about half an hour for the right garments to be decided on but Sasha looked at her reflection in the full length mirror and had to blink to check it was really her. Mrs Trimmer had really done a good job, a well tailored white shirt coupled with a well cut black skirt that was short enough to be flattering to Sasha's slim figure yet long enough to not be considered trashy, the look was finished off with an extremely well fitted black jacket with an attractive V-cut. Sasha pulled her hair back into a ponytail and looked at her reflection thoughtfully

"Wow, now I really look like how I always pictured a tax collector. Perhaps I should get some glasses, you know, really finish off the serious clerk type look."

Mrs Trimmer nodded nervously, Sasha decided to push it a bit further and turned around to face the proprieter

"And on that subject...are you up to date with your taxes Mrs Trimmer?"

The woman paled, but recovered well "I-I dont handle that side of thing, my husband does all that, I..."

Sasha put up her hand "It's okay, I'm not about to demand to check your accounts...yet"

She turned back to the mirror and tried to turn enough to check out the back of the suit, apparently speaking to her reflection "I'm sure we can give you a few weeks to make sure it's all in order"

Mrs Trimmer swallowed hard "You know, that really does suit you, perhaps a small discount..." Sasha grinned and turned back to face the woman

"That's very kind of you. But I'm a government official, I can't take bribes"

A little while later Sasha left the shop, she would return that evening to collect her suit after Mrs Trimmer had finished it. Mrs Trimmer had also thrown in a nice pair of heeled black shoes to complete the ensemble at no extra charge, Sasha grinned to herself. Techincally she hadn't taken a bribe and she had been telling the truth that in a few weeks they probably would be looking at the tax status of the cities businesses. She double checked the reciepts she had been given and went to get herself some lunch, perhaps she would try All Johnsons, apparently he did a fantastic steak...

Entering the tavern, Talbot headed straight over to the bar and ordered a large beer. It wasn't his usual beverage but was most certainly what he needed at that moment. Halfway through the first glass he became aware that he was being watched. He turned towards a table in the corner just in time to see the figure sitting there huddle inside its cloak and hood. He had no idea who it was and wasn't minded to investigate. He'd had enough excitement for one evening and, besides, his stomach was beginning to feel extremely hungry. Draining the remainder of his beer, Talbot paid the barman and left, conscious that his exit was under scrutiny by the stealthy stranger.

Back in the street once more, Talbot could smell roasting meat and the draw was too strong to resist. He crossed to the opposite pavement and turned down the next alleyway where he entered All Johnsons. Many of the tables were taken and the diners were deep in conversation, one group laughing loudly at some humorous anecdote or other. Talbot selected a small quiet table for two to one side of the restaurant and picked up a menu.

It wasn't long before a waiter ambled over to him and took his order. That was simple enough and it shouldn't take long to prepare. Talbot had enjoyed his steaks 'sanglant' for as long as he could remember. As he waited, a beer was placed in front of him and he relaxed back in his chair to savour it. Then he felt it again – that same sense of being watched. This time, however, he couldn't tell who it may have been. There was no obvious candidate. Hmmmm. Maybe he was imagining it. He had a tendency to paranoia sometimes, he knew, but it had been such a strong feeling. Ah well, food was his priority right now.

Moments later, the bleeding steak was placed before him and, without hesitation, Talbot began to eat. 

Verurteilen examined the iconograph as she stalked along the streets, toying it around in her gloved hands

she had never been assigned to an assassin before, and the thought of being caught and brought before lord Downey, or quite possibly, even Vetinari, both terified and thrilled her

she fantasised about stalking through the shadows of the assassin's guild, itself, knowing that making just the slightest mistake would result in her eminent demise, and she was hungry for the thrill of it all

suddenly, Verurteilen realised that danger was not the only thing that she was hungry for, it had been nearly a full day since she had last eaten, and the craving for the warm blood of the living was beginniong to set in

so she hurried down the crowded street, and stopped at the restaurant that was emmitting the strongest scent of blood, which, of course, turned out to be the one owned by All Johnsons, especially when his famous steaks were the daily special

walking in, she automatically chose to sit at the broken down table in the darkest corner of the restaurant, she sat alone until the waiter came over and asked for her order

"Just tip a day old steak over a cup and give me whatever comes out," she said, removing her hat

As Verurteilen sat in the dim corner, on a broken chair, sipping a cup of day old cow blood, she began to let her mind wander, and found herself contemplating what her life has become

Once a normal vampire girl, living comfortably in Uberwald, with her parents, and drinking fresh blood from whomever she pleased, now a vampire girl in her early twenties, wealthy enough to own acres of land, but choosing to live a life as a fugitive assassin, living in a cold and dark alley, out in the middle of the Shades, drinking cold blood in a low class restaurant

she was not entirley aware of how her life had turned into this, but now that she was living it, she would have to make due with what she had become

she looked down at her mug of blood, and sighed, sometimes she missed fresh blood

Sasha arrived at the door of the restaurant and was greeted by a mouth watering aroma of various foods. She pushed open the door and entered, the smells seems to intensify and her stomach rumbled again. Finding a nice quiet corner table Sasha began to peruse the menu, looking over the top of it every now and then to take a good look at the other clientele who were dining there. Her gaze fell upon the man she had seen yesterday at the cafe, he was happily tucking into a steak that looked as though it had only just been cut from the cow

_ewww! Do you want steak with your blood?_

Her eyes travelled over the room, and only took a few seconds to recognise the vampire that had been with the girl in the same cafe. She seemed to be nursing a glass of blood whilst deep in thought, Sasha shuddered at the sight of the congealing red liquid and went back to choosing her meal.

Whist waiting for her food she had begun to choose a couple of likely targets from the diners when her steak was placed in front of her, it was well peppered and cooked perfectly. Nicely seared on the outside and beautifully pink in the middle, she tucked into it with gusto. A short while later Sasha sat back in her seat, her appetite satiated. A glass of red wine had made the perfect accompaniment to the steak and she sipped the last of it as she looked around, contemplating her first day at work.

For an 'honest' days work it seemed pretty close to thievery, and that was just fine by her. But tomorrow was troubling her, she would have to face the Guild who had been pursuing her for months, and then ask them for a ton of cash...a slow smile spread on her lips. What could they do? Vetinari had exonerated her, and she was enitiled...no, _expected_ to hit them for a huge tax settlement. Still, she took a deep breath. It was going to be an interesting day tomorrow...

The smell that seemed to permeate the surgery was beginning to get to Nathan and he knew he couldn't stay here a lot longer. Igor had given him water and the empty glass sat on the floor by his feet. Finally unable to wait Nathan moved into the next room and saw the splintered cabinet, he looked into the gaping hole in the door, he plucked a splinter form it and drew it to his eye, there was blood on it. Someone had been here and had snatched something and Nathan was willing to bet it was the same thing he was looking for.

Nathan tried to order his thoughts, he knew he was looking for but they'd be long gone by now and he doubt he'd be able to follow a trail of someone who was aware they were leaving one. His stomach decided his next move for him, he'd not eaten anything for what felt like a day and sitting here wasn't getting him anywhere, besides the thing was no longer here, mind you nor was the dentist. Looking around the floor he didn't see any signs of a struggle not that he could do a lot about it if there had been. Moving to the door Igor appeared.

"Can you tell Mr Talbot that I am sorry I missed him but that I waited as long as I was able."

With that said Nathan moved through the door and out into the perpetual gloom of the shades.

Johnson's, it had been the nearest place and it had smelt tantalisingly of meat and blood. It was not a noisy place, but still managed to convey the air of a busy place, there was low conversation and the scrap of cutlery. Nathan was so distracted that he did not realise he'd sat at an occupied table until the waiter came over to clear the occupants plate. Looking over he realised it was Sasha and flashing her a quick smile he spoke.

"Seems like once you're in the same profession you keep bumping into one another."

After a protracted pause in which Nathan did his best to try and forget what he had seen in the dentists office, he scrutinised his co-worker.

"Hey, nice clothes, very…appropriate."

He thought for a moment trying to come up with some topic of conversation.

"You know, what I've noticed about thieves is, they don't like it when you take back what they stole. I think I'm taking the golem to the Thieves guild."

Sasha finished her wine and was distracted from musing on tomorrows events whilst debating if the future should contain a slice of the gorgeous looking chocolate fudge cake she had just seen another diner begin tuck into. When Nathan had sat down at the table, she returned his smile with one of her own

"Admit it, I'm such charming company you just can't keep away" another thoughtful glance at the chocolate cake, maybe a small slice wouldn't hurt "I'm kidding by the way"

She shifted uncomfortably when he commented on her clothes "Well, the boss said we should get kitted out so I did. Think I'll go change after lunch though, I feel...conspicuous"

'Conspicuous' was not a good feeling for someone who used stealth and lived most of her life working on the wrong side of the law.

When Nathan said he would take the golem to the Thieves Guild tomorrow Sasha smiled again, yet there was just a hint of the forced joviality from earlier

"Yeah, that's one of the problems with Thieves. Another one is when they want to catch you, gut you and hang you from the Guild roof...*deep breath*... Good idea to take the Golem. You know, that chocolate cake really looks good"

She put up her hand to call over the waiter and looked at Nathan, her not very subtle change of subject nevertheless bringing her closer to achieving the goal of chocolate cake

"You want anything?"

Illyah decided to take a walk while the others were out to lunch.

Walking out into the sunshine, he squinted at first against the reflections from the store fronts before getting his bearings.

Making his way along the street, he noticed something peculiar; not one person would meet his gaze or acknowledge him as he passed by. He'd grown up here and knew almost everyone on sight, but today something was off.

He tried waving to C.M.O.T. Dibbler who simply turned his back and walked around a corner. He walked toward a few of the lads from the Watch and couldn't believe it when they walked away, suddenly intersted in ancient Morporkian architecture.

"What's going on?"

_Looks like you've been turned out._

"Why? What did I do?"

_Aha ha ha! What did you do? Gods you are a simple one aren't you? You're in the pocket of Vetinari now. You, my friend are One Of Them._

"One of who?"

_Them. The oppressors. The Man. The enemy of all honest, hard-working folks all across the city. You are the Tax Collector._

"But I've known these people all my life! I baby-sat for them, I helped one or two of them build their homes for crying out loud!"

_Yes, but in those days you weren't about to crash _into _their homes and take their money back to the city vaults, were you?_

"I'm not a thief!"

_No, you're worse now. You work for Vetinari. Hey, you still have that other cigar? _

Illyah handed over the cigar and matches as he continued down the street. 

The steak was truly excellent and Talbot licked his lips as he finished, noticing rather alarmingly that his tongue seemed to catch on his incisors. That hadn't happened before! He hoped it was his imagination but there was nothing he could do to check discreetly in the middle of the restaurant. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed anything and caught sight of the man who had visited the surgery the night before sitting with a woman he vaguely recognised at another table. They seemed to be engaged in conversation and not to be interested in him. Nevertheless, he still felt as though he were being watched and, trying not to be obvious, glanced around the room. It was then that he noticed the lady he had encountered rather alarmingly in The Shades. He saw the flash of beautiful teeth as she opened her mouth to sip her… drink? She didn't seem to be looking across at him and was sitting in a darkened corner of the room as if she intended to keep herself to herself.

Feeling slightly reassured, Talbot caught the waiter's eye and signalled for the bill. He would try to leave unnoticed if he could. The sooner he could get back to the surgery, the sooner he could check all was well in the incisor department. Just as long as everyone focused on what they were doing, he'd be fine.

Putting his hand in his pocket to find the money for his meal, Talbot's fingers brushed against the amulet he'd found earlier. He took it out to look at it.

Verurteilen was diving deep into her thoughts, and was not coming back up for air, she was flashing back to how her life had taken such a drastic twist

All she had ever wanted was to be free, but her parents thought that they had all ready had her own future set in stone, they had wanted her to go to snotty rich children schools, and follow in the steps of the nobles families like they had

She retaliated against their authority, and was eventually forced to run away to get away from it all, but she had soon realised just how tough it was to make it out on her own

She had returned home, and had begged her parents to take her back in, but they had completely shunned her away, and refused to even consider her their daughter, any longer

And so, Verurteilen was forced to suck the blood of innocent strangers, and even had to resort to killing them for their money, all just so that she might see the next day

The disgrace that she had caused herself had eventually driven her mad, and she was forced out of her home country of Uberwald, and came here, where a low life similar to hers was not uncommon, but it seems like that now that she has the solitude that she had always sought after as a child, the lonliness that followed that was the price, did not seem worth it

As Verurteilen scowled in her own dismay, she slammed some coins down on to the table, so as to pay for her mug of blood, and stood up to leave

_These days,_ she thought, _it seems like I cannot look anywhere without seeing someone who hates me_

almost to prove her point, fate guided her eyes in the direction of the table where Sasha and Nathan were sitting, she sighed, and, bowing her head low, Verurteilen slipped silently out of the restaurant, nobody cared about the lonely little vampire girl

Nathan glanced at the board while the waiter stood waiting for his order.

"Just bring me a steak, pink on the inside and none of the scrawny ones, I want the edges to be hanging over the plate."

Nathan appeared to lapse into thought for a moment, his face going serious before a smile flashed and died on his face and he leant forward.

"Well hey, at least they've not strung you up yet, that's something to be thankful for right? Live for the day and anyway you're on Vetinari's payroll now, I don't think that the thieves guild could be that stupid."

His steak didn't take long to come, some effort had been made at presentation, but it was very hard to miss a steak that large. Nathan took up his cutlery and started his attack. He ate quickly but efficiently, slicing the meat and sending trickles of watery gravy oozing out of the steak.

The glint of something silvery caught his eye and he turned to see the Dentist sitting at a table alone looking at something he'd cupped in his palm. Turning back to Sasha he frowned and stood up.

"Wait one sec."

He said before moving over to the Dentists table.

"Mr Talbot, it's me again, I'm afraid that I came looking for you earlier than our arranged appointment this evening, but didn't find you there. I was wondering if you had decided on whether it would be possible for me to take back the small pouch that was left in your care?"

Talbot was shaken from his reverie by the sudden appearance at his table of the man he had noticed earlier. He started and almost dropped the charm as… what was his name again 'Peers'? – well, something like that – spoke, asking about the pouch again.

"Er… oh, yes, I remember. You came to see me about that last night didn't you. It had completely slipped my mind until earlier this evening. I'm afraid it's gone. Someone came into my surgery, knocked me out and stole it. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. I've no idea who it was or where they went with whatever it was." Talbot paused, waiting for 'Peers' to speak. His fingers played with the amulet under the table. It was somehow soothing. He couldn't explain why, but he felt compelled to keep it safe come what may. Odd that. It was almost as if it had a mind of its own, or rather that it was drawn to _his_ mind in some way. He smiled vaguely. 

Candice wandered out of the office without waiting to see if she got a response to the lunch offer - she figured if the girl wanted it, she'd follow. Actually taking a lunch break was a new and odd concept to Candice, lunch for her was normally an all day affair, but she realised most normal people couldnt do the kind of all day luncheons she was used to.

Candice found a place she'd been to before, and sat down outside, knowing that her meal here would be free. Candice hadnt had to pay for anything in a long time, which suited her fine. The chef here had a tendancy for swearing way too much, but his popularity, or notority, made him highly in demand by other resturants needing a boost. He was a celebrity in his own right now.

A meal was placed in front of Candice without her even having to order, along with a glass of wine thatwould perfectly compliment the meal. The food looked fantastic, and she realised how hungry she actually was.

While she ate, Candice watched the people in the street. People facinated her, they were so easy for her to read. She'd realised as a teenager how easy it was for her to get people to do things for her, give her things, and for her to talk her way out of most trouble. Pushing peoples buttons was easy for Candice - for her, they glowed neon.

The same people who Candice used to get what she wanted always assumed she was stupid. The blank stare, the dumb questions...it was easy to come to that conclusion about her intelligence. But Candice was far from it, it suited her to for peopel to think that. In her experience, you found out a lot more from a person if they thought you didnt know what they were talking about. Sure, there was a lot she didnt know, but she could pick up on a concept pretty fast, and anyway, it didnt matter what you knew, it was who you knew.

Sometimes they tried to use her. People and businesses would attach themselves to her, in an attempt to achieve the same level of fame and riches as she had, without ever stoppign to think that maybe she was using them too. It never even occured to them that if she could build their reputation up so high, she could also destroy it. Candice liked that power. You just dont bite the hand that feeds you...

So she sat there, eating her meal and sipping her wine, while people walked past telling their life stories to her without even realising. 

Illyah managed to grab a sandwich and a bowl of soup at his favorite little shop before heading abck to the office. Along the way, he tried to ignore some of the stares people were giving him; even if he did try to make eye contact with them, they'd just turn away.

Back at his desk he sat and ate quietly, all the while thinking about how this afternoon would play out.

A knock at the door brought him home; a small man enetered and handed Illyah a small envelope. He then stood there as if waiting for a reply. 

Mr Kuriyakin,  
>It does appear that you have taken on your new assignment with a certain amount of zeal unheard of until now. Start out big and make an even bigger 'bang' eh?<br>A word of caution however - do not expect all to be as easy as this morning. Certain members of the city may take serious offense to being brought to task by a team as colorful as yours.  
>I am sure you know what you are doing.<br>V.

"But I don't know what I'm doing," Illyah mumbled before remembering the man standing next to him.

"Thank you. I have nothing to send back just yet. I'll...see him later."

Gulping down the last of his soup, Illyah returned to the vault and started counting the next bag. The machine continued making that horrible racket, but appeared to be working just fine.

What did he mean by 'colorful'?

Sasha nodded gratefully at Nathans reassurances and was prety sure he was right, after all everyone knew that there wasn't alot going on in the city that Vetinari didn't know about. The Thieves Guild knew this so she was safe now right? A mischievious twinkle glittered in her eyes, perhaps tomorrow could be amusing after all.

She gave a nod when Nathan excused himself from the table and continued to attack the gooey rich dessert that the waiter had brought her. She watched Nathan approach the guy from the cafe earlier, the one who had been enjoying his barely dead steak. Sasha couldn't hear what was said but she caught a flash of something shiny under the table, intrigued she watched the mans hands and again caught a glint.

_What is that?_

No matter how much she tried she couldn't get a good look at it. These peaked her curiosity even more

Candice finished her meal, and realising there wasnt much she could get done before she had to go back to work - not even shop for a new outfit, as shopping was an all day affair for Candice - so she headed back to work. The main office was empty, but she could hear a loud noise coming from somewhere. She followed it, and found her boss tipping coins into a large machine. She recognised it, as her father had one in their basement too. But the one her father had wasnt anywhere near as loud.

"Its broken!" she yelled over the din. "I think there's something stuck in it!"

Illyah nearly jumped when Candice shouted to him.

"I would have thought the same thing," he shouted back, "but it seems to work!"

He stopped adding coins and let the beast finish counting what was already in the bucket. In about a minute the last few pieces of gold were bagged up in a pile on the floor.

"Remarkable thing, this. It sorts, counts and bags the coins in a fraction of the time it would take us."

Illyah asked Candice to help him put the bags of coins on the shelves.

"How was your lunch?"

Sasha had been staring at the mans hands trying to work out what the half concealed object was and was also, out of a habit that was so instilled in her it was almost instinct, trying to figure out how she could get hold of it. She had finished her dessert and now pushed back her chair and stood from the table. Drawing closer to the table she heard a snippet or two of the conversation and got the impression that perhaps the man was involved with some sort of business with Nathan. Sounded like something had been taken, she stopped briefly to speak to Nathan flashing a quick grin

"It wasn't me! Listen, I'm going to head on back to the office now. I'll see you there"

Her hand reached out for the door to leave when a gruff cough behind her made her stop. This was never a good sound, especially for someone with Sasha's colourful history. She turned slowly, her hand resting just over the pocket where she kept her trusty knife. To her relief it was simply the waiter, giving a pointed look from her to the bill for her meal that he held in his hand. Sasha laughed at herself, she was so used to hasty exits from restaurants that it had completely escaped her that she had to actually pay after her meal.

"Sorry, I swear I'd forget my own name if it wasn't written on my underwear"

Seeing the waiters solemn expression she shrugged "I'm kidding! Anyway..." Sasha rummaged in her pockets and pulled out enough cash to cover the meal "...here you go, keep the change"

Not surprisingly, since the change due was only a few pennies the waiters expression didn't change. His hand closed around the money and he stalked off back to do waiter-type things like harassing the kitchen staff and coughing subtly until his tip was added to the customers bill.

Sasha turned back and pushed open the door, it felt strange to actually pay for the meal. But it had been very good food and was worth putting up with the alien feeling of honesty that washed over her...and somehow she didn't think Vetinari would take kindly to one of his employees openly stealing...so she would just have to keep her thefts discreet, and besides, she had only taken a couple of dollars from the waiter.

A short while later Sasha arrived back at the office, her new clothes were safe in their bag and she felt better back in her own outfit. No-one was in the office but she could hear raised voices and a hell of a lot of noise coming from somewhere, following the noise she found the most interesting part of this place so far, the Vault. Illyah and Candice were surrounded by bags of money,

"Aww, not fair. You counted it all already?" 

As he waited for a response, Nathan's companion came over to the table and, saying something about having to go and meeting up later, had turned to go.

Talbot was feeling unwell and was conscious of the changes in his teeth. He felt the need to leave urgently and beckoned to a waiter who came over immediately, before Nathan had time to continue the conversation.

Talbot handed the waiter a bundle of notes, much more than he needed, but h couldn't wait for the man to make out the bill. "This should more than cover it", he said. "Please excuse me", he said to Nathan. "I really have to go. I'm feeling ill."

He rose from the table so quickly, that he knocked his glass to the floor. The waiter bent to pick it up and Talbot made good his exit. Or was it escape? Why did it _feel_ like an escape? He had no idea whether Nathan would follow him or simply return to his own table but Talbot was feeling worse than ever and was desperate for fresh air.

As soon as he was outside the restaurant, Talbot dashed into an alley. He had a sudden urge to put the amulet around his neck but no idea why. Was it really a living thing, imposing its will? He shuddered. It was then that the world changed, as if he was looking through a photographer's red-filtered lens and watching himself from above. His mind felt sharp and alert – not a common experience for Talbot. What was happening to him?

There was a hissing sound coming from behind some boxes in the alley and he was in time to see a small cat, arching its back, retreat into the shadows. Without warning, he sprang onto the roof of the nearest building and sat there, poised.

Thoughts rattled through Verurteilen's mind as she walked away from the restaurant, moving almost in a daze, she thought she was alone

she wasn't

If the smell of fur had not stung her nostrils, Verurteilen would not have noticed the heart beat of someone stalking her from not too far behind, she turned swiftly to see a matted furred, dark brown wolf sitting patiently on the ground before her, it's dark golden eyes stared directly into hers, as if it was expecting something of her

"Vhat is it, Mauria Barlesvay?" Verurteilen scowled, the wolf smiled, and shifted form into a young woman

"What is the hold up, miss Verurteilen?" said Mauria Barleysway, "you would have usually completed your contracts by this point"

"Give me time, Mauria," Verurteilen snarled, "it is not like I alvays get contracts on assassins, I must formulate a new plan if I vish to stalk ze guild undetected, I assure you, you vill be ze first to know vhen I have completed zis contract, save Mr Capenspire, of course"

"Just do not take too long with this," said Mauria, and with that, she was gone, padding her way back down the streets

Verurteilen growled at the sight of the retreating wolf, and then turned to continue on her way, and that was when she felt the heart beat of another person, though this one seemed to be high off of the ground, and it had felt quickened, as if some kind of rush had excited it

Verurteilen looked up, and could see a figure sitting upon a rooftop, but could not make out the face

Curiousity once again took its hold on Verurteilen, and she felt compelled to investigate this

Quietly, she had backed away into the shadows, and swiftly jumped up onto a rooftop not far away, but still close enough for her to get a better view

_Ze dentist?_ Verurteilen said, in her mind, _just vhat is he doing up zere? More importantly, just_ how _did he get up zere? No human should have ze ability to jump zat high_

Nathan nodded to Sasha as she left and, as it happened, paid for his meal as well. Talbot definitely seemed ill, his movements were jerky and it seemed that Nathan's presence was making him uncomfortable, or perhaps it was just being inside? The Dentist almost threw the notes at the waiter before disappearing outside. Nathan turned to leave and turned back to the waiter saying.

"The one that left already paid for both of us."

He went outside the dentist was nowhere to be seen but Nathan didn't need to see where the guy had gone. As he went to follow the clocks of the city struck the hour and Nathan knew that if he didn't get back to work he would be late and Veinari would want to know why. Cursing the poor timing he scanned about and looked up. Others eyes might not have seen it, but Nathan sure did, he put his fingers to his lips and blew a sharp whistle. Before calling out to Verurteilen.

"Oi, Come here, I need you."

His skin crawled, he recognised the figure from the square and had a distinct feeling she might just be something he wasn't going to like, but beggars couldn't be choosers. People around looked at him and then looked up, but they were all unable to see what Nathan could.

Verurteilen winced as the sound of the whistle struck the vampire's ears, and left them ringing. She looked down and caught sight of the man who was sitting next to Sasha, beckoning to her. Other people were looking in her direction, but Nathan seemed to be the only one who could see her

_Vhat do I look like, a dog?_ she scowled

Quickly, but silently, she leapt from the roof, more like floating down quickly, rather than falling. She landed a few feet away from Nathan, and turned to him

"Vhat do you vant?" she said, coldly 

Nathan took a moment to collect himself once she had landed and found himself wondering if this was truly a good idea, but was again reminded of his lack of options.

"I'll give you one hundred dollars to follow the man that came out of this restaurant before me. Follow him and I will meet up with you later and you tell me what he did and I'll give you the money. Normally I would be open to negotiation but I am running out of time, either yes or no."

Perhaps not the most polite way to address anyone, especially not a species as proud as a vampire, but he really didn't have the time for it. He waited for her reply

Verurteilen looked at Nathan as her mind replayed his request

_He vants me to stalk ze dentist?_ she thought, sounding shocked

So? her mind answred back, what's the difference if it was you or him?

_For one thing,_ she scowled, _if I got caught, I vould be ze vone in trouble_

But, you would get the one hundred dollars

_I have got twenty times zat amount in my pockets, right now! Besides, I am an assassin, not a spy_

It is either do this for him, or answer to Mauria Barlesway why you have not yet even thought about how you were going to take out the assassin

"...All right," she said, after a while, to Nathan, "it is a deal"

"Lunch was...short"

Candice looked at the sacks of money, then juumped when Sasha joined them.

"Hun, couunting money isnt as fun as peopel think it is. Its worse when its someone elses money, too."

She strecthed. "What time are we finishing today?" 

Talbot felt another presence on the roof and could smell... vampire. He was just beginning to make out an unexpected shape on the roof when he heard footsteps and a sharp, ear-piercing whistle that made him wince with pain. Nathan appeared in the alleyway below and was looking up at him, giving instructions to come down. Talbot was about to comply – after all, he was feeling thirsty – when a shadow close by swooped down to the ground and transformed from an indistinct shape into a woman, standing with her back to him. So, the summons wasn't for him. Probably best not to stay around.

He turned and leapt across a few more rooftops, heading who knows where. The feeling of disorientation was unexpected and his thirst was increasing. A clomp of heels on the cobblestones below heralded the timely arrival of a passer-by. Anything would do at this point. He landed silently almost on top of the unwary stranger who had barely time to exclaim before Talbot's teeth had sunk with surprising precision into his bared neck. Moments later the man, drained of his lifeblood, slumped to the floor. Talbot looked at the still figure. It was not someone he recognised, but his victim seemed to have been clutching something in his hand that looked almost like the pouch he had lost. Curiosity getting the better of him, Talbot bent down to take a closer look and was about to pick it up when a faint sound from deep in the alleyway disturbed him and he decided it was time to leave.

Wiping traces of blood from his mouth, Talbot emerged into the main street and, recognising the buildings ahead of him, began to stroll nonchalantly in the direction of the River Ankh. He felt sated and alert. That had been just what he needed. He licked the inside of his mouth and found that his teeth had returned to their usual size. Perhaps now was the time to make his way home

Annoyed that he was forced to leave the pursuit to hired help, he banged open the door to the Tax office and moved over to the map.

"There's still plenty of daylight!"

He shouted into the vault where the sound of conversation came from.

"Let's go and shake a some thieves and see what falls out."

Something had happened to the dentist, someone had taken the pouch and their scent was strange. Most vexing of all, he knew that if someone had the pouch who saw it merely as something of value, they would sell it very quickly and it would be gone very quickly. The clock had started ticking again and instead of being what he should be, because of a couple of missing assassins and no proof, he was standing here 'giving back to the city'. He hit the desk with his fist, making an ink well jump and sending the crystal inside spinning to the ground where it shattered, sending shards tinkling everywhere and ink oozing slowly outwards in an uneven stain.

"Are we going?"

He said again, he was certainly not in the mood to take s**t from ANY of the guilds

After Nathan had left, Verurteilen turned to take out her orders, only to find that the dentist was no longer on the roof, she could feel his heartbeat, retreating quickly

She swiftly followed it, easily keeping on his track, until she found the body, it was stone cold, already, being drained off all of its blood, some of it staining the ground, Verurteilen idly nudged the corpse with her boot

_Heh,_ she thought, _this man is lying here, dead, and Talbot has just come this vay, unfortuneately, I think zat I know vhere zis is headed, but I am not surprised_

It was then that she noticed the small pouch in the dead man's hand, leaning down, she carefully pried it from his clutch, and placed it in her cloak, Nathan might want to know about this

Continuing along the path, Verurteilen found herself stalking about twenty yards behind the dentist, she attempted to hide in the shadows as she persued him, reminding herself to be cautious, afterall, his senses might have hightened

The acrid smell of the Ankh was potent and threatened to overwhelm all his senses but Talbot sensed someone watching him. It had happened a lot that evening and he wondered why. Normally his life followed an unexciting and routine path but over the past few days it had become disjointed and strange. He wondered if this accounted for his sudden 'illnesses'. Was his metabolism becoming unstable?

As he walked, Talbot began to feel more and more like his usual self. Whatever had been ailing him seemed to be subsiding and the paranoia that had overtaken him earlier was diminishing. He shook his head as if to dislodge the remnants of the evening's events. That was better. Everything around him seemed normal – well, as normal as it ever did in the City and so close to The Shades. As if under autopilot, Talbot's steps turned towards his lodging and his face resumed its placid, daydreamy look. And as for someone watching him, he must have imagined it. The street was deserted apart from a few rats scurrying in and out of a nearby eaterie.

Inside his shirt, the amulet sighed contentedly and drifted off into its equivalent of a deep sleep. To all intents and purposes it seemed now no more than a simple necklet. Whatever had activated it was no longer in evidence.

A scuffle in a nearby alley heralded a Thieves' Guild encounter but Talbot was back in a world of his own and observed nothing

Sasha had been stood just inside the vault when Nathan yelled inside and she came out now wincing and banging her right ear with her hand.

"You know, me actually paying for my own lunch is a rare and remarkable event, let alone being gracious enough to foot the bill for someone elses and what thanks do I get? Being rendered half deaf"

Shaking her head to try and clear her ringing ear she walked into the office then stopped and watched the inkwell fall and shatter. Sasha crossed her arms, giving Nathan a raised eyebrow

"Dare I ask?"

When he asked if they were going to the Thieves Guild now Sasha was silent for a moment, her grin fading. After a few seconds she shrugged "Ah what the hell, might as well get it over with."

She wandered back towards the vault leant around the door frame and called over to Illyah "Hey boss? Are we going after them today or what?" 

Mirabell started in surprise at the sound of Nathan's shout, and emerged from the shady corner of the room where she had been sitting watching the money fall through the machine.

"We're going to the Thieves guild now?" This was bad news in a way. It was only a matter of time before they started on the assassin's guild..

"So.. did we get the right amount there? What do we do if it's less?" Meera stretched and becoming more awake again added "actually, what do we do if the people we're collecting from don't have the money to pay us?"  
>An image of Mirabell's family being forced to part with all their hard-earned savings popped into her head, and Meera fell silent. As she did so, she appeared to melt back into the shadows again.<p>

_Tax-collectors are evil round where I live. What will my family think when they find out that I am one?_

It was a funny old world indeed when government officials were considered evil while assassins were deemed perfectly acceptable 


	3. Chapter 3

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted June 28, 2008 02:29 PM<p>

Thoughts rattled through Verurteilen's mind as she walked away from the restaurant, moving almost in a daze, she thought she was alone

she wasn't

If the smell of fur had not stung her nostrils, Verurteilen would not have noticed the heart beat of someone stalking her from not too far behind, she turned swiftly to see a matted furred, dark brown wolf sitting patiently on the ground before her, it's dark golden eyes stared directly into hers, as if it was expecting something of her

"Vhat is it, Mauria Barlesvay?" Verurteilen scowled, the wolf smiled, and shifted form into a young woman

"What is the hold up, miss Verurteilen?" said Mauria Barleysway, "you would have usually completed your contracts by this point"

"Give me time, Mauria," Verurteilen snarled, "it is not like I alvays get contracts on assassins, I must formulate a new plan if I vish to stalk ze guild undetected, I assure you, you vill be ze first to know vhen I have completed zis contract, save Mr Capenspire, of course"

"Just do not take too long with this," said Mauria, and with that, she was gone, padding her way back down the streets

Verurteilen growled at the sight of the retreating wolf, and then turned to continue on her way, and that was when she felt the heart beat of another person, though this one seemed to be high off of the ground, and it had felt quickened, as if some kind of rush had excited it

Verurteilen looked up, and could see a figure sitting upon a rooftop, but could not make out the face

Curiousity once again took its hold on Verurteilen, and she felt compelled to investigate this

Quietly, she had backed away into the shadows, and swiftly jumped up onto a rooftop not far away, but still close enough for her to get a better view

Ze dentist? Verurteilen said, in her mind, just vhat is he doing up zere? More importantly, just how did he get up zere? No human should have ze ability to jump zat high

[ June 28, 2008, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

Posts: 2273 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted June 29, 2008 07:49 AM<p>

Nathan nodded to Sasha as she left and, as it happened, paid for his meal as well. Talbot definitely seemed ill, his movements were jerky and it seemed that Nathan's presence was making him uncomfortable, or perhaps it was just being inside? The Dentist almost threw the notes at the waiter before disappearing outside. Nathan turned to leave and turned back to the waiter saying.

The one that left already paid for both of us.

He went outside the dentist was nowhere to be seen but Nathan didn't need to see where the guy had gone. As he went to follow the clocks of the city struck the hour and Nathan knew that if he didn't get back to work he would be late and Veinari would want to know why. Cursing the poor timing he scanned about and looked up. Others eyes might not have seen it, but Nathan sure did, he put his fingers to his lips and blew a sharp whistle. Before calling out to Verurteilen.

Oi, Come here, I need you.

His skin crawled, he recognised the figure from the square and had a distinct feeling she might just be something he wasn't going to like, but beggars couldn't be choosers. People around looked at him and then looked up, but they were all unable to see what Nathan could.

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted June 29, 2008 12:49 PM<p>

Verurteilen winced as the sound of the whistle struck the vampire's ears, and left them ringing. She looked down and caught sight of the man who was sitting next to Sasha, beckoning to her. Other people were looking in her direction, but Nathan seemed to be the only one who could see her

Vhat do I look like, a dog? she scowled

Quickly, but silently, she leapt from the roof, more like floating down quickly, rather than falling. She landed a few feet away from Nathan, and turned to him

"Vhat do you vant?" she said, coldly

[ June 29, 2008, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

Posts: 2273 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted June 29, 2008 01:21 PM<p>

Nathan took a moment to collect himself once she had landed and found himself wondering if this was truly a good idea, but was again reminded of his lack of options.

I'll give you one hundred dollars to follow the man that came out of this restaurant before me. Follow him and I will meet up with you later and you tell me what he did and I'll give you the money. Normally I would be open to negotiation but I am running out of time, either yes or no.

Perhaps not the most polite way to address anyone, especially not a species as proud as a vampire, but he really didn't have the time for it. He waited for her reply.

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted June 29, 2008 02:04 PM<p>

Verurteilen looked at Nathan as her mind replayed his request

He vants me to stalk ze dentist? she thought, sounding shocked

So? her mind answred back, what's the difference if it was you or him?

For one thing, she scowled, if I got caught, I vould be ze vone in trouble

But, you would get the one hundred dollars

I have got twenty times zat amount in my pockets, right now! Besides, I am an assassin, not a spy

It is either do this for him, or answer to Mauria Barleysway why you have not yet even thought about how you were going to take out the assassin

"...All right," she said, after a while, to Nathan, "it is a deal"

[ June 29, 2008, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

Posts: 2273 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted June 30, 2008 07:36 AM<p>

"Lunch was...short"

Candice looked at the sacks of money, then juumped when Sasha joined them.

"Hun, couunting money isnt as fun as peopel think it is. Its worse when its someone elses money, too."

She strecthed. "What time are we finishing today?"

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

Posts: 936 | From: VIC - Australia | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted June 30, 2008 04:47 PM<p>

Talbot felt another presence on the roof and could smell... vampire. He was just beginning to make out an unexpected shape on the roof when he heard footsteps and a sharp, ear-piercing whistle that made him wince with pain. Nathan appeared in the alleyway below and was looking up at him, giving instructions to come down. Talbot was about to comply after all, he was feeling thirsty when a shadow close by swooped down to the ground and transformed from an indistinct shape into a woman, standing with her back to him. So, the summons wasn t for him. Probably best not to stay around.

He turned and leapt across a few more rooftops, heading who knows where. The feeling of disorientation was unexpected and his thirst was increasing. A clomp of heels on the cobblestones below heralded the timely arrival of a passer-by. Anything would do at this point. He landed silently almost on top of the unwary stranger who had barely time to exclaim before Talbot s teeth had sunk with surprising precision into his bared neck. Moments later the man, drained of his lifeblood, slumped to the floor. Talbot looked at the still figure. It was not someone he recognised, but his victim seemed to have been clutching something in his hand that looked almost like the pouch he had lost. Curiosity getting the better of him, Talbot bent down to take a closer look and was about to pick it up when a faint sound from deep in the alleyway disturbed him and he decided it was time to leave.

Wiping traces of blood from his mouth, Talbot emerged into the main street and, recognising the buildings ahead of him, began to stroll nonchalantly in the direction of the River Ankh. He felt sated and alert. That had been just what he needed. He licked the inside of his mouth and found that his teeth had returned to their usual size. Perhaps now was the time to make his way home.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

Posts: 13421 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2007 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 01, 2008 04:12 AM<p>

Annoyed that he was forced to leave the pursuit to hired help, he banged open the door to the Tax office and moved over to the map.

There s still plenty of daylight!

He shouted into the vault where the sound of conversation came from.

Let s go and shake a some thieves and see what falls out.

Something had happened to the dentist, someone had taken the pouch and their scent was strange. Most vexing of all, he knew that if someone had the pouch who saw it merely as something of value, they would sell it very quickly and it would be gone very quickly. The clock had started ticking again and instead of being what he should be, because of a couple of missing assassins and no proof, he was standing here giving back to the city . He hit the desk with his fist, making an ink well jump and sending the crystal inside spinning to the ground where it shattered, sending shards tinkling everywhere and ink oozing slowly outwards in an uneven stain.

Are we going?

He said again, he was certainly not in the mood to take s**t from ANY of the guilds.

Posts: 508 | Registered: Jul 2007 | IP: Logged

Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 01, 2008 02:15 PM<p>

After Nathan had left, Verurteilen turned to take out her orders, only to find that the dentist was no longer on the roof, she could feel his heartbeat, retreating quickly

She swiftly followed it, easily keeping on his track, until she found the body, it was stone cold, already, being drained off all of its blood, some of it staining the ground, Verurteilen idly nudged the corpse with her boot

Heh, she thought, this man is lying here, dead, and Talbot has just come this vay, unfortuneately, I think zat I know vhere zis is headed, but I am not surprised

It was then that she noticed the small pouch in the dead man's hand, leaning down, she carefully pried it from his clutch, and placed it in her cloak, Nathan might want to know about this

Continuing along the path, Verurteilen found herself stalking about twenty yards behind the dentist, she attempted to hide in the shadows as she persued him, reminding herself to be cautious, afterall, his senses might have hightened

[ July 01, 2008, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

Posts: 2273 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted July 01, 2008 03:22 PM<p>

The acrid smell of the Ankh was potent and threatened to overwhelm all his senses but Talbot sensed someone watching him. It had happened a lot that evening and he wondered why. Normally his life followed an unexciting and routine path but over the past few days it had become disjointed and strange. He wondered if this accounted for his sudden illnesses . Was his metabolism becoming unstable?

As he walked, Talbot began to feel more and more like his usual self. Whatever had been ailing him seemed to be subsiding and the paranoia that had overtaken him earlier was diminishing. He shook his head as if to dislodge the remnants of the evening s events. That was better. Everything around him seemed normal well, as normal as it ever did in the City and so close to The Shades. As if under autopilot, Talbot s steps turned towards his lodging and his face resumed its placid, daydreamy look. And as for someone watching him, he must have imagined it. The street was deserted apart from a few rats scurrying in and out of a nearby eaterie.

Inside his shirt, the amulet sighed contentedly and drifted off into its equivalent of a deep sleep. To all intents and purposes it seemed now no more than a simple necklet. Whatever had activated it was no longer in evidence.

A scuffle in a nearby alley heralded a Thieves Guild encounter but Talbot was back in a world of his own and observed nothing.

[ July 01, 2008, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: Tooth Fairy ]

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

Posts: 13421 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2007 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 02, 2008 07:52 AM<p>

Sasha had been stood just inside the vault when Nathan yelled inside and she came out now wincing and banging her right ear with her hand.

"You know, me actually paying for my own lunch is a rare and remarkable event, let alone being gracious enough to foot the bill for someone elses and what thanks do I get? Being rendered half deaf"

Shaking her head to try and clear her ringing ear she walked into the office then stopped and watched the inkwell fall and shatter. Sasha crossed her arms, giving Nathan a raised eyebrow

"Dare I ask?"

When he asked if they were going to the Thieves Guild now Sasha was silent for a moment, her grin fading. After a few seconds she shrugged "Ah what the hell, might as well get it over with."

She wandered back towards the vault leant around the door frame and called over to Illyah "Hey boss? Are we going after them today or what?"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Mina Harker

Member Member # 4188

Member Rated:  
>posted July 02, 2008 08:56 AM<p>

Mirabell started in surprise at the sound of Nathan's shout, and emerged from the shady corner of the room where she had been sitting watching the money fall through the machine.

"We're going to the Thieves guild now?" This was bad news in a way. It was only a matter of time before they started on the assassin's guild..

"So.. did we get the right amount there? What do we do if it's less?" Meera stretched and becoming more awake again added "actually, what do we do if the people we're collecting from don't have the money to pay us?"  
>An image of Mirabell's family being forced to part with all their hard-earned savings popped into her head, and Meera fell silent. As she did so, she appeared to melt back into the shadows again.<p>

Tax-collectors are evil round where I live. What will my family think when they find out that I am one?

It was a funny old world indeed when government officials were considered evil while assassins were deemed perfectly acceptable.

[ July 02, 2008, 08:58 AM: Message edited by: Mina Harker ]

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted July 02, 2008 01:03 PM<p>

Illyah shut down the machine and walked out of the vault into the office. The glittering pile in the bucket down below had grown.

"Well, I hadn't thought we'd be able to make two calls in one day, but seeing as how smoothly we did this morning...why not?"

Noticing the agitated state Nathan was in and then failing to hit the mark, Illyah figured that Nathan was just getting excited about the new job.

He consulted the ledger on his desk and found the entry for the Thieves Guild.

"Oh my."

Fumbling for a pencil and paper he copied down the numbers and then checked again to make sure he hadn't made a mistake.

"We're going to need a bigger coach."

He almost didn't see Meera - again she seemed to melt into the background.

"I don't think we'll have to worry about the Guilds not being able to pay. As for the regular folk, their share won't be that big. Actually, I'm hoping that once we collect enough from the Guilds, there could be an opportunity to lower the taxes owed by the citizens."

He wasn't sure if he could do that - that would be something Vetinari would have to do. But somewhere, there had to be a bright spot, there had to be a bit of good that could come of this.

"I'll have to speak with his lordship anyway about getting us some proper coaches and such, maybe I can put a bug in his ear."

You do and he'll put a spike in yours.

"Alright then ladies, sir, let's go and introduce ourselves to Mr...er, Mr J.H. Boggis."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 04, 2008 09:01 AM<p>

Once again Nathan found himself standing before a large and very solid door. The small golem stood next to him and a pair of very suspicious eyes peered at the small group through the slit in the door.

What do you want?

A small crowd had formed around the entrance to the guild, people had obviously read the latest edition of the Times and where hoping, as so many Ankh-Morpork citizens do, that something exciting would happen to someone else.

We are from the newly formed Tax Office and are here to perform some licensed thievery.

Nathan smiled sweetly and held up Vetinari s letter.

Oh, the Irony.

The eyes behind the slit did not get any friendlier, in fact one might say that they became decidedly unfriendly. One might think that Nathan was not the most diplomatic of the party, yet this was his second time doing it.

Gonna, take more en a piece of paper to get you in ere.

Nathan appeared to brighten like a child, but there was a decidedly nasty gleam in his eye.

You don t know how much I was hoping you d say that.

He cleared his throat, but before he told Spinner to open the door He felt a hand on his shoulder and tensed. Looking round he smiled innocently.

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 04, 2008 08:18 PM<p>

As Verurteilen continued pursuing the man as Nathan had ordered, she noticed that his heartbeat seemed to drop and steady itself, and she felt hers do the same, now feeling safer, and less threatened by the chance of being discovered

No sooner had hers gone back down, had it begun to once again pick up, as she sensed the presence of another one or two hearts beating, in an alleyway not to far away, the way they seemed quite set in not moving brought her to the conclusion that the beats must belong to a pawn of the Thieve's Guild

Ze man is a dentist, she thought, to herself, vhat does he have zat ze Thieve's Guild vould possibly even vant to steal?

[ July 04, 2008, 08:24 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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	4. Chapter 4

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted July 04, 2008 09:46 PM<p>

Candice just wanted to go home. She was still hungover, and very tired. So she was very annoyed to have been dragged to the thieves guild.  
>NAthan was having a bit of an argument with evil eyes behind the door, and Candice just knew he wanted to use the gollum again. He seemed better at making a scene than Candice did. She tapped him on the shoulder, not wanting to hear the noise of the door being shrunk, as the money counter had brought back her headache.<p>

"Lemme try something." she said quietly, and stepped up to the door.

"Hi, I'm Candice." she said. The eyes flickered with recognition.

"Yu're that party girl"

"Thats right. I also work for the tax office. Its a sucky job, but it has to be done. Its not fun, doing a job where you dont get thanked. Im sure you understand that." The eyes changed again, but not enough for Candice to interpret.

"Not letting you in" he repeated. Candice sighed.

"look, did you hear what happened at the merchants guild earlier today?"

the eyes seemed to nod.

"well that was us. ITs going to take them a while to get the gates doors rebuilt. We were well within our rights to do that, too. Now, and think about this, do you really want that to happen here? The fact is, we're getting in here regardless of whether you let us in or not, but i'd much prefer not to have to have your door broken down."

"Now the eyes looked worried. Candice pressed on.

"Plus, which do you think will be easier to explain: That you let us in because we have a vital job to perform, or that you didnt let us in so we took the door and ended up performing our job anyway... I'm pretty sure that not having to replace the door is the cheaper option..."

There were some noises on the other side of the door, and then iti opened.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

Posts: 936 | From: VIC - Australia | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 05, 2008 02:46 AM<p>

Sasha had stood to one side, keeping out of the negotiations. Her hair had shielded her face as she had hung her head slightly, folding her arms and looking as unnoticeable as she could. The mans tone at the door was beginning to annoy her though, he was obviously thinking the Guild was above them, that they were to tough for the likes of this little thief...*ahem...group of tax collectors, that's what she meant, of course it was. Nothing to do with personal grudges in the slightest.

She looked up scowling, stepped forward and put her hand on Nathans shoulder and was about to give him the nod to get Spinner to rip the doors off when Candice had approached the door. Sasha rolled her eyes, and watched with disappointment as the door opened.

"Damn it, I was looking forward to the look on their faces when we busted on in" she muttered low enough so Illyah didn't hear her. Sasha got the feeling their new boss didn't know the full story on each of them yet.

The door was pulled open wide enough for the group to enter, when the last of them had stepped through the huge heavy door swung shut with a resounding bang. Sasha knew that if she turned she would see several nasty looking men behind them, a matching symmetry to the several nasty looking men in front of them. In short they were now surrounded by the sort of men who Boggis found useful for such things as dealing with unwanted visitors.

Ah well, let the fun begin...

Sasha cleared her throat and went to take a step forward then decided against it due to the appearance of a varied, and most noticeably, sharp array of weapons that appeared in the men's hands as if by magic. Instinctively she looked around for likely escape routes and without thinking reached for her own knife, as her hand closed around the handle Sasha paused. If she drew weapons during a Tax Heist she was very likely to have an unexpected appointment with his Lordship...

Her dilemma was interrupted when a heavily scarred man squinted at her and took a step forward "It's you!"

"No it's not!" Sasha looked around even more fervently

"Yes it is"

"No I'm absolutely sure it's not me, I mean, I would know if it's me or not wouldn't I?"

"Boggis has a huge reward out for anyone who bags you and brings you to him alive." The man grinned nastily and looked around at his companions "Looks like it's payday lads"

Sasha grabbed the letter off Nathan and held it up with a triumphant grin "Almost right there, it's payday...for us. You can't touch me and neither can Boggis, says right here...by order of Vetinari himself"

The men paused, obviously not convinced. Sasha hesitated, knowing they should demand to see Boggis but hoping one of her colleagues would say it. Demanding to see a powerful man who had been after your hide for months was not somthing easily done. But the problem solved itself

"I believe I should take a closer look at your papers" In the silence that followed the mysterious voice a brown bowler hat flanked by two walking towers of muscle cut through the group of thugs. Sasha fought the urge to shrink back behind the others and settled for edging slightly closer to Nathan and his Golem. Somehow being stood next to the tiny little pottery titan made her feel a bit better, possibly to do with the whole effortless destruction thing that the Golem was capable of...

Once he was stood in front of the group from the Tax Office Boggis held out his hand...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted July 06, 2008 06:47 PM<p>

As he sauntered along, Talbot felt the gentle night breeze ruffle his hair. It was a pleasant enough evening, or rather would have been if his collar hadn t been grabbed from behind, causing him to stumble backwards. He felt something sharp against his neck and guessed it was a blade. Instinct told him that keeping still would be a life-prolonging decision while, from nowhere, a strong feeling began to knock on the door of his mind, telling him to thrust his elbow sharply back and upwards. Talbot was usually a passive soul and slow to react in most situations but lately his body s behaviour was proving to be anything but usual.

The whip-like response of his arm to the voice in his head resulted in a gurgling sound behind him. Spinning round on his heels, Talbot was in time to see the figure slump to the floor and the knife it was holding spin across the pavement. What was happening to him? Had he really done that? There was no one else in sight, so he must have done. It was so out of character.

Talbot leant down to look at the sprawling heap at his feet. By the body s unkempt appearance and the tell-tale knife still spinning on the spot, he guessed that he d been the intended victim of theft, although he didn t have anything of value on him today that he was aware of. No matter, as the tables had been turned on his would-be assailant a first for Talbot.

A cursory look at the body revealed a shock of auburn hair that had fallen from the thief s hood. Hmmm. If he didn t know better he would have thought that it was a woman. Most thieves seemed to be male.

Talbot was about to take a closer look when he thought he heard a small stone roll into the gutter a short distance away. As he hesitated, the compelling voice in his head took charge and told him to Run! . Perhaps the woman had an accomplice. If so, he shouldn t wait to find out. His heart racing, Talbot started to run from the scene just as a second figure emerged from the alleyway and stared after him before kneeling down beside the body of the unsuccessful thief.

This was proving to be some night!

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 07, 2008 12:12 AM<p>

Verurteilen had held her breath as she watched Talbot being grabbed by the thief, and had jumped back at the sight of him retaliating, realising that that could have just as easily been herself a few nights ago

You are letting him get away! a voice toned out in her head, as she stood awestruck, shaking herself out of it, she jumped out of the concealing shadows, and began to pursue him, once again, before realising that she was being watched

Turing around, she looked into the terrified face of Talbot's still concious assailant, still kneeling by their companion

"Er, I think zat you should probaly get her to a doctor," she said, gesturing absently to the fallen thief, "I have not seen him striked anyvone, before, so I am not sure of how much damage zat he is capable of causing"

and without another word to the thief, Verurteilen turned, and dashed away, once again, following on the dentist's tail

[ July 07, 2008, 12:13 AM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Mina Harker

Member Member # 4188

Member Rated:  
>posted July 07, 2008 05:21 AM<p>

"Hello Mr Boggis."  
>Mirabell emerged from the shadows holding an official-looking folder.<br>She said in an almost lazy voice, "The documents are here, I am sure you will find that they are in order."

Meera turned to Illyah to explain.  
>"Sorry, I took the liberty of putting the documents together when I saw that we were about to leave them behind, I anticipated that there would be some kind of trouble along the way."<p>

She turned to Mr Boggis again.  
>"While we might be dubbed the licenced thieves of the state, I think you'll find that you are very much at a disadvantage in relation to us." Mirabell smiled innocently "Because you see, if you do withold the taxes from us, you are technically guilty of commiting unlicenced theivery. You all know what licenced thieves do to unlicenced thieves, don't you?"<p>

As Mirabell walked back to the back of the group, she shook her head and muttered audibly "Let's just hope the Watch catch you first..."

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 07, 2008 06:24 AM<p>

Sasha listened to Meera and a grin spread across her face. Technically it was true, the more she thought about it the more it made sense. Hah, so the tables were turned! Just to make sure that things were completely clear, Sasha stepped forward and handed Boggis the letter from Vetinari, pointing out the odd helpful paragraph.

"See...here is where it says we are allowed to extract the nessecary payments from you, and here is where it says that any past disputes betyween the Guild and the Tax collectors are null and void, and here it where it says we can use nessecary methods of persuasion...did I mention that hereis where it says you can't touch me?"

"We shall see Miss Vine, who knows what the future may hold. In a big city accidents can happen in a most unexpected fashion"

The look on Boggis's face and the use of her name in the veiled threat showed quite clearly that he knew that this woman infront of him was the unlisenced thief who had caused a fair amount of problems for the Guild in the last few months. Too many complaints from citizens who wanted to know why they were still being robbed despite paying their annual fees. If looks could have killed, Sasha would have been dead from the moment Boggis had laid eyes on her. Sashas grin turned ever so slightly nasty and she lowered her voice

" I don't think so. Ironic isn't it Boggis? You spend months trying to kill me, and yet when I finally turn up on your doorstep you can't do a damn thing about it, yet now I can make things very unpleasant for you"

She leant toward Mr Boggis and gestured to Illyah "That's my boss, you need to speak to him about paying us a large amount of cash." She glanced at the papers in Boggis' hand and whistled in mock surprise "A very large amount of cash...stings a bit does it Mr Boggis?"

Sasha was admittedly getting a huge kick out of rubbing the mans nose in it

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted July 09, 2008 01:07 PM<p>

Illyah realized that there was more going on here than he knew about. Mr Boggis trying to kill Sasha for any reason was news to him.

Me too.

"Mr Boggis, I don't know exactly what is going on here, but we have a job to do. Now, you can assist us...or we get creative. I assure everything they told you was true...I'd hate for you to run into any er, difficulties."

Not wishing to stand in the doorway any longer, Illyah turned and began walking down the hall.

"I know you have an office Mr Boggis, I can't see you conducting business all day in the foyer."

Walking steadily on, Illyah tried the handle of every door he came to until one finally opened for him.

"Ah yes, here it is. Um, everyone...down here please!"

Making himself comfortable in a rather over-sized, over-stuffed chair in the corner, Illyah smiled at the others as they filed in.

"Mr Boggis, you might not remember me, but until just recently, I was Sergeant Kuryakin of the Watch. I didn't want to say anything at first, but I know you are..or were...one of the Specials. Keeping that in mind, I'm sure we can work this out as gentlemen."

Illyah absent mindely reached out and pocketed a couple of cigars from the box on the large desk.

"As you can see, we have the authority, my associates are talented to say the least...and our coach is parked outside. I don't want to get a ticket."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 11, 2008 07:16 PM<p>

Nathan watched Sasha and Boggis exchange words, if they had been animals they would have been circling one another. Of course, Nathan could have been completely wrong and Boggis might just not have liked to receive tax collectors, and although this was probably the case, there certainly seemed like some history between Sasha and the head thief unfolding before him. As his boss took the initiative and acted with an uncharacteristic amount of assertion, Nathan hung back for a moment. The theives in here were large and meaty and doubtless all concealled various sharp objects that could do him no end of nasty things. However, they weren't allowed to, it was an intoxicating feeling to be protected under Vetinari's wing. Of course accidents could happen, but generally they'd be looked into very carefully if the patriciant was involved.

"Come on then" he said, patting one of the theives on the shoulder "Let's go and take your money." he paused "I mean of course, the city's money."

Nathan knew he shouldn't, but sometimes picking at a scab was just too irresistable.

As he entered the office he looked around and in an over-loud voice stated.

"This isn't the vault, is it boss?"

He watched Boggis, the man appeared to ripple, but then regained himself and addressed Illyah.

"We cannot possibly pay you back such large sums of money all at once, you must allow us to get the neccessary funds together, or perhaps installments, you will bankrupt the guild otherwise."

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted July 11, 2008 07:46 PM<p>

As he sped along the embankment, the pungent smell of the Ankh threatened to overwhelm Talbot s senses. It seemed to have become more potent in the past few moments, or was it that his senses were heightening again? He felt confused. He should feel tired running wasn t something he did very often and he was normally out of condition but right now, he seemed fit and full of energy. Talbot rang his tongue around the inside of his mouth and felt the sharpness of his incisors. Not again! What was going on!

He had no idea where he was heading. This wasn t the way home and yet he felt driven to follow that particular route. It was as if he were in some sort of trance. Turning the next corner, Talbot saw the Temple of Small Gods rising out of a gentle mist that swirled around it like a delicate shawl. Instead of going into the temple, however, he felt the need to enter the graveyard at the side of the building where he pulled up short in front of an imposing vault. It felt vaguely familiar, although he knew he d never been there before, or at least, not consciously.

What are you doing here, Thur? Talbot spun round to see Igor looking up at him, a puzzled expression on his patchwork face.

I-I don t really know, Igor. One minute I was running, the next here I was. Look, I don t feel quite myself just now. It may be better if you just leave me alone here for a little while. I m sure I ll be fine. He was anxious that, in his current state, he might be unpredictable and he didn t want his faithful servant to come to harm. Igors were worth their weight in gold and this one was heavier than most!

Igor didn t move, however, but continued to stare quizzically, at Talbot. Thur mutht remember that I m from Uberwald and immune to motht thircumthtantheth. All the thame, I ve got thome work to do here, tho I ll leave you to recover if you withh, Thur. Call me when you re ready to go home and I ll ethcort you. Humming quietly to himself, Igor turned and lurched off towards a corner of the graveyard.

Talbot was left alone once more in front of the dark and imposing vault. With a brief glance around him, he disappeared inside.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

Posts: 13421 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2007 | IP: Logged

Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 12, 2008 12:59 AM<p>

Zis is absolute madness! Verurteilen said, to herself, in her mind, zis man vill soon have me dragged all over ze city at zis rate!

She could see the dentist, just ahead of her, and still sprinting away, she could sense it, his heartbeat, and the way that he was running, it was frantic, but still more graceful than a human could manage

Is he still human? a part of her wondered

She stopped in her tracks, and watched him run on, and pondered this

"I doubt it," she said, at last, "but I realised that this mission zat man has put me on is not vorth ze hundred dollars"

Zen vhy have you been pursuing him zis far? her mind had inquired, and she knew that saying that it was to avoid Mauria Barlesway would just be an out right lie

"Has he been like zis?" she wondered, "or has he just become zis since he saw me a few nights ago? He said he remembers being my family dentist, vut I vonder if he remembers how he got zose marks on his neck"

She looked back, realising that she was letting her target get away

I know I do, she said, and with a heavy sigh, she continued to run after the dentist, trying to push out the memories of the...incident that had happened back in Uberwald

She followed the man to the temple of small Gods, and stood at the edge of the cemetary, subconciously knowing that some of her profits had ended up here

The gentle breeze blew her bangs in front of her silvery eyes, save for that, she did not move, standing in the sunlight, and watched as Talbot seemed to have a short conversation with his loyal Igor

Her eyes followed the Igor, as he moved away, and then they drifted back to the dentist, and watched on as he disappeared inside of the vault

Verurteilen waited a few moments, letting him get ahead, before stalking along the cemetary, and disappeared inside of the dark vault, herself

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

Posts: 2273 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 12, 2008 02:24 PM<p>

"That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard!"

a voice cut through the tense silence and after one or two looks her way from the others Sasha realised it had been hers. She shrugged "Well it is. This is one of the richest Guilds in the city"

She didn't add that, in her opinion, bankrupting the Guild would be a wonderful outcome, enough information had been given away already and she didn't want any awkward questions afterwards.

Wandering over to the desk Sasha picked up one of the cigars and rolled it thoughtfully between her fingers "Nice, top notch brand...Hershebian if I'm not mistaken. A man like you knows a good thing when he see's it huh Boggis? Just like a good thief knows a likely target when she sees it. And a good tax collector knows a big steaming pile of horse apples when it's staring her in the face."

Sasha tucked the cigar into the breast pocket of her shirt and perched herself on the corner of the desk, she met Boggis's glare with a pair of dark blue eyes that oozed malevolance and were underlined by a smile that was dripping with venom. Ooooh, what she wouldn't give to make this as hard as possible for Boggis, Sasha hadn't forgotten the times his lackys had nearly been successful in dealing out their brand of Guild justice. She still bore one or two scars.

"Still, if Mr Boggis here would be so kind as to let us consult his accounts then I'm sure we can soon assess if he qualifies for our installment scheme. Of course, just incase Mr Boggis thinks he's managing to fob us off for now, perhaps I should point out that any payment scheme is secured by a legally binding legal contract that must be signed by both parties before we leave here and if broken may result in the debtee having to forfeit the right to installments and have to pay us the entire outstanding sum...of course if that were not possible as he so claims, I'm sure his Lordship has other methods of dealing with tax evaders"

Sasha surprised herself. Wow, had she really just spouted all that? Feeling quite smug she waited with her arms crossed

[ July 12, 2008, 02:28 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted July 14, 2008 12:18 PM<p>

Illyah sat in the chair and watched the exchange unfold in front of him. he might the Tax Collector, but it was clear to him that the team had a better business sense than he did.

"Mr Boggis, I assure you, I am a patient man...but they are right; I can't believe that you don't have sufficient funds to cover your debt."

Considering that this was only the second collection they had attempted, he wondered how they would proceed if Boggis pushed the matter.

"Let me see the books please."

Make sure he gives you the 'special' one from the top drawer.

"All of the books please, Mr Boggis."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted July 14, 2008 05:11 PM<p>

It was easier to see in the dark vault than Talbot had expected. His eyes seemed to cut through the heavy blackness with no difficulty at all; so well in fact that, feeling a slight chill on the back of his neck, he turned and clearly saw the movement in the entrance.

Who are you and what do you want? he challenged.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

Posts: 13421 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2007 | IP: Logged

Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 14, 2008 11:15 PM<p>

Verurteilen froze, along with the blood in her veins, the sudden threat from the man had actually intimidated her, she then hurriedly went through her mind, until it threw up a suitable excuse

I am a vampire in a cemetary, dammit, she thought, vhat excuse do i need?

"Relax," she said, more to herself, than Talbot, and composed herself, "it is only me, Mister Grume, and I could ask you ze same question"

"I am a vampire assassin, as you are vell avare," she continued on, "many of my victims have zeir final resting places in zis cemetary, so does it really surprise you zat I vould be here, stalking zeir graves?"

It vould certainly surprise me, she thought, but vhat he does not know vill not hurt him..probaly

"Vhereas, you," she continued on, once more, "have no business coming here, as I highly doubt that dead men are in need of a dentist, somevone like me vould come along and notice you, and believe you to be a grave robber"

Her heart raced with each new lie that she spouted, and she could feel herself beginning to sweat, she was not very experienced in the way of lying, and she feared that the nevousness that it brought on was beginning to get the best of her, she was defineately not cut out to be in the spying business

[ July 14, 2008, 11:18 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted July 15, 2008 05:58 PM<p>

Oh. So, it s you, is it? Talbot was less surprised than he would have expected. After all, a vampire in a cemetery vault seemed to fit, only there was a hint of nervousness in her voice and he could sense the discomfort. Hmmm, now why was that?

An assassin, eh? I can t believe anyone would have paid you to dispose of me. Some of my clientele are quite influential in the Guild. Actually some of my clientele are influential in many spheres and, after all, I provide a valuable service.

Talking of which, I thought you might have paid me a visit yourself. Those are quite impressive teeth you have, if I recall, and it would be a shame if you didn t take good care of them. You really should drop by sometime when I m more, er, myself, shall we say.

Something wasn t right here. Why was the vampire there? In fact, why was he there himself? He really wasn t sure what had made him enter the vault. His own family were entombed in Uberwald and he hadn t really thought about visiting their graves since, well, since then.

Anyway , he continued, you haven t explained why you re in this particular vault. Whereas I happened to notice it was open while I was talking to Igor and curiosity got the better of me , he lied. What s your excuse?

Talbot waited with interest.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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	5. Chapter 5

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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>posted July 15, 2008 09:21 PM<p>

"Vhy am I here?" Verurteilen repeated, she decided to wing it, at this point, she was not very fond of what she would have to say, but if she did not get her heart rate down, she was going to be in some deep trouble, Verurteilen sighed, and started again

"I vas put out on an assignment," she said, completely truthfully, "not to kill, vhich had surprised me, vut to ve a spy, and so I vas sent out to follow zis man around, and later go back and report all zat zis man had done vhile I pursued him" she began to speak more confidently as her heart rate went down

"unfortuneately," she continued on, " as I got closer to zis cemetary, ze man had discovered zat I vas pursuing him, and I had to drop my mission, turns out zat spying is not my strong point, and zat vas vhen I had noticed somevone stalking around zis vault, and I guess zat you could say zat my curiousity got ze best of me, as vell"

Verurteilen relaxed, as her heart had settled down to a steady beat, once again

"Anyvay," she said, trying hopefully to steer the subject away from what she had been doing, "concerning vhy I have not visited your dentistry, I have been preoccupied vith people who could not tell me from a spy if I came up and stabbed zem in ze back, vut now zat it seems zat I have veen caught, and my services vould be useless to such people, feel free to schedule me in to your earliest convienence"

That being said, Verurteilen turned back to the entrance to the vault, but was haulted in midstep, by what she saw

Past where she stood, out of the entrance to the vault, and to the very far edge of the cemetary, sat a large and dark brown wolf, watching her, with a menacing patience, Verurteilen snarled at it, the sudden intake of breath causing her to inhale the scent of death from the inside of the vault, and continued glaring at the wolf's retreating back, as the thing walked away

"Zat voman is beginning to get on my nerves," she muttered, to the room in general

[ July 15, 2008, 09:26 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

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>posted July 16, 2008 06:45 AM<p>

"You think that all the wealth of hte guild is in gold? We have precious furniture, assets among the city and vairous busi-"

He stopped, obviously realising that pointing this out to the tax collectors might not be the best idea.

"Mr Boggis, you have incurred debts to the city, the same city in which you have done very well for yourself. You have decided not to play by the rules by avoiding your taxes, if we find that these properties and businesses make up the remainder of what we require to satisfy your account then please be sure we will be ceasing them."

Nathan nodded to some internal tune

"Damn, I'm not bad at this taxman stuff am I?"

He grinned before turning back to Boggis again, his expression becoming serious once more.

"I can assure you we don't enjoy what we do, but since it is our job, we intend on doing it well. Please find us the accounts and please remember if we discover you have been concealling anything form us, then it will be very difficult for you, at the end of the day, when it comes down to it, it will be His Lordships mercy you will have to rely on."

He paused and let the prospect hang there for a moment.

The books were brought, a large stack of them.

"Excellent, Mr Boggis, I'm afriad that you will have to wait outside until we are finished. Unless of course you have a room for us."

Mr Boggis nodded and it was clear he was obviously staying silent only through a great effort.

The team was led to a small, but comfortable office and the books were brought in after them.

"Well, looks like we have a good afternoons work ahead of us."

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted July 16, 2008 04:43 PM<p>

The explanation from the vampire assassin was not entirely convincing but she seemed to be quite relaxed by the time she had finished speaking and, as there had been no obvious threat, Talbot decided not to pursue the issue. Besides, it looked as if he had drummed up more business for his dental practice and that was always welcome.

He wasn t really sure why he himself was in the vault and the feeling of compulsion that had brought him there had left him. Perhaps he should simply find Igor and head off home. He had started to follow Verurteilen out of the blackness to do just that, when he heard the vampire mutter something under her breath, something about an irritating woman. Talbot was curious. I beg your pardon? he said, joining her at the entrance. He looked around the cemetery and, other than the hunched figure of Igor at work in one corner, the place appeared to be empty.

That s not a woman! That s Igor! he exclaimed with mild amusement. Without waiting for a response, he called to his manservant Igor! We d better head back home. I ve got a few clients to attend to this evening and I don t want to be late. One of them is particularly impatient, as you well know!

Igor was at his side in an instant and, with a slight bow to Verurteilen, Talbot made to leave. He wondered would she follow them and, if so, why? On whose orders?

The scar on his neck prickled as he and Igor turned to leave and he raised his hand to it automatically. Talbot had felt something similar only last night when he thought someone had been standing outside the surgery window. Could it have been the vampire? Hmmmm. Too much of a coincidence, perhaps? He would have to be wary of her, that was certain.

Just come by the surgery when you re free. I m sure I ll be able to see you. he called over his shoulder as he left.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 16, 2008 10:23 PM<p>

At the dentist's remark, Verurteilen scanned the cemetary, only to find Igor, where he had been, busy at work, when she had arrived

She opened her mouth, in order to reply, but was interrupted when Talbot had called out to his Igor

As they turned to leave, Verurteilen caught sight of his hand being raised once again to the scar on his neck, and she could feel her fangs begin to prickle, but she kept quiet, and simply nodded as he called over his shoulder, back to her

Ze man is getting vorse, she thought, I vonder, has he alvays been having moments like zis..since then..or has seeing me triggered something vith his behaviour? If not born a vampire, it could be difficult for him to control the urges, and ze cravings for blood, I need to find out more about his condition

She looked towards the sky, as the sun began to make its transition from late afternoon to the early evening, it was going to be getting dark soon

but I think zat I am just about done vith him for zis day, she thought, and besides, I am supposed to report back to Nathan

with that, Verurteilen made her way out of the cemetary, and began to walk in the opposite direction of Talbot and his loyal Igor

[ July 16, 2008, 10:40 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted July 17, 2008 07:34 AM<p>

Illyah grabbed the first ledger off the pile and opened it to the first page. After five minutes he realised he had no idea what he was looking at.

"My landlady keeps better records - and she can't read or write!"

He continued to search for anything that made any sense to him.

Next to him, another ledger slowly opened to the first page.

I might as well help while I'm here.

Illyah didn't verbally respond, but gave a small cough instead.

After all, now that they've locked you all in here - it may be a bit before you leave.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 18, 2008 06:09 AM<p>

Nathan had taken a ledger as well and looked at the figures. He was no accountant, but he certainly knew when something was in a mess and this...well this was aspiring to be messy.

"These books don't make any snese, not only that but...Well actaully they just don't make any sense, same point I know, but I felt it was so important that I should say it twice."

He smiled at the rest of the group and as he did so the dying sun caught his eye and he realised that it was getting later than he had expected. Nathan had assumed that taking money from the Thieves would be as easy astaking it from the merchants, well didn't he have egg on his face. He was still okay though, he just had to make sure he kept a closer eye on the time, if this took too long he would have to excuse himself, no biggie. He made sure he didn't panic, panicking made you make mistakes and he really didn't need now. All he needed to do was keep a clear head and think it all through.

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

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>posted July 18, 2008 01:22 PM<p>

Sasha leafed through one of the books, stared in puzzlement at the pages then put it down hoping that the next one would be less messy. The next was was as bad as it's predecessor, after trying a couple more of the books she flipped them shut with a dramatic sigh.

"These are just a jumble of figures, I can't make any sense out of them"

She glanced at the fading afternoon light then gave a mock glare at Nathan

"Next time you want to squeeze in another job before we clock off for the day, remind me to remind you of this"

She stretched in her chair then stood up, rolling her shoulders and rubbing at the back of her neck. "I'm gonna go see if any of Boggis's staff can help us with this mess"

Sasha walked to the door, turned the handle and pulled. The door stayed firmly shut. Frowning, Sasha tried once more just incase she hadn't turned the handle enough but she had come across enough locked doors to know that all the rattling and cursing in the world wouldn't help to open it.

Resisting the urge to hammer on the wood and curse Boggis and his souless minions for being blackhearted murderous scum of the disc that had plagued her life for months, she instead turned around and faced the others smiling a humourless smile and said brightly

"Guess what? We're locked in."

Damn it! Should've seen that one coming a mile off

[ July 18, 2008, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 19, 2008 05:36 AM<p>

Nathan stood up, and there was an air of speed about his acent, so fast in fact that the book he had been looking at spun and fell to the ground. For a moment he pressed his fists into the desk and when he spoke his voice was calm.

"Is he insane, inprisoning government workers while they perform their duty, there has to be a law against that."

Suddenly the day was too late to be trapped inside an office and although he was doing his best, he could feel a cold panic steeling over him.

"Don't tell me you didn't bring your lock picks Sasha?"

He said moving her to one side and taking a hold of the knob. He jiggled the knob, and then did it harder. It was most certainly locked. Then throwing caution to the wind, he jiggled it again, using his special sort of strength, there was a click and the knob came off in his hand. The door swung inwards to reveal a very surprised pair of theives, obviously they had been caught in the act of sniggering. There faces had gone very pale. Nathan turned back to the rest of the team who had been trapped.

"The knob must have just gotten stuck."

He placed the torn doorknob in the unbelieving hands of one of the men standing outside.

"Sorry fellas, Installment plan is off, give us the cash or we cease whatever makes up the difference. We don't have time for this and it's nearly home time."

He felt a seething anger boiling inside of him, but he did his best to keep a hold on it. Realising he coudln't stay here any more he turned back int othe room.

"Uh, sorry boss, I'm not feeling great, I'll have to clock off now, sorry."

Without waiting for a response he took off at a break neck run and disappeared. He got to the entrance of the guild and the doorman stood in front of the door, it was a mistake. Suffice it to say, Nathan cleared the way and took off out of the door.

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

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>posted July 19, 2008 01:56 PM<p>

Sasha had been about to point out that she always carried her lock picks and that she could have them out of there in the blink of a gnats eye when she had been moved very firmly aside. She watched Nathan carefully, despite the calm voice there seemed to be a glimmer of somthing close to panic in his eyes as he wrencehd the door knob. Sasha blinked in surprise as he snapped the lock, okay so to the others it may have looked like he'd simply freed a stuck door but Sasha was very familiar with the sounds a door latch should make and they certainly shouldn't make a sharp snap followed by a crunching click.

Nathan's hasty exit caused her yet more confusion. There was something strange about this man, she had a flicker of suspicion before but now? Hmmmm, she did love a good puzzle...

Saying nothing about her colleague for now, Sasha glared at the two sheepish looking thieves. "Well done boys, you can go and give the news to your boss that we have decided that your accounts make you uneligable for the installment plan. We will take payment in cash or we can seize goods or assets to the sum of the amount owed."

One of the thieves made an attempt at a sneer "Yeah right, I'd like to see you try"

Sasha smiled sweetly "Good because we are going to do more than try, oh and by the way..." there was a soft oomph and the thief was left wheezing against the doorframe. Sasha rubbed her knuckles "That is for what you did to a lady thief you collared by the Shades about five weeks ago, do you know how long it took to get the stink of the river out of my clothes you bastard? And learn how to use a knife properly, my granny is quicker with a blade than you and she's ninety four!"

The other thief clenched his fists and looked uncertainly from his friend to the tax collectors, obviously bright enough to decide against doing anything to the mouthy young tax lady who had just winded his buddy but not happy about it in the slightest. He growled a mumbled sentence at them and beckoned for them to follow as he walked away

She turned to her colleagues and gestured down the hallway "I believe it's time we collected what we came for. Please, after you..."

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 19, 2008 04:24 PM<p>

As she made her way back to the restaurant where she had first encountered Nathan, earlier that day, Verurteilen looked up to the sky where glimmers of the setting sun shone in her eyes, with the promise that the comforting shield of the night would soon be upon her

She smiled vaguely at this relieving notion, but still pulled down the brim of her hat, afterall, to her, sun light was still like poison to her sensitive eyes

She easily found the street, and was at the restaurant, moments later

Longing for the darkness, Verurteilen leaned against the wall of a near by alley way, and waited

[ July 19, 2008, 04:25 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 20, 2008 02:23 PM<p>

Nathan only slowed once he had got to the street where he expected to find the vampire. He came to halt by the restaurant and looked around. He was definatley running out of time, but this was important, if she had hte pouch? but he didn't want to get ahead of himself.

Looking around the restaurant, he coudln't see the vampire girl. Allowing his brain to engage he realised her penchant for being undetected and looked around the various alleyways. He saw her then, standing in the shade, it was all very cliche. Trotting towards her, he flashed the hundred dollars, it was in the new notes that were being printed by the bank, much easier to carry around and much more discrete.

"What did you find out?"

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

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>posted July 20, 2008 03:19 PM<p>

Once shown to the vault by a reluctant member of the Guild it hadn't taken long for the tax collectors to begin to collect what the Thieves Guild owed. They were soon loading the payment into their coach which had been parked outside the huge doors at the entrance to the Guild building. This process was somewhat slowed by the fact that Sasha had insisted that they seize all of Mr Boggis's office furniture as part of the 'goods or assets' clause, true there was probably enough gold in the Guilds vault and bank account to cover the bill but the fact remained that Boggis and his Guild had been the bane of her existence since she came to this city, so with a grin on her face she carried his fine gold inlaid cigar box down the hallway giving the occasional helpful boot up the backside to assist the two muscle heads who were manoeuvring the heavy oak wood desk towards the door.

The Tax departments entrance to the Thieves guild had been less dramatic than their earlier descent on the Merchants yet in true Ankh Morpork style this hadn't prevented a crowd gathering to watch the entertainment. The occasional iconograph flashed and a few jeers could be heard, yet there were quite a few grins to be seen too, especially when it became clear that they were confiscating the Guild furniture too

Hiding her face behind the box she was carrying Sasha tried not to think about what the evening edition of the newspaper was going to look like. As if on cue a black coach trotted up the street and slowed by the Tax coach, a clerk stepped out and nodded to Illyah

"Mr Illyah Kuryakin, His Lordship wishes to see you at your earliest convenience which, he assures you, will be at 7pm this evening. Please do not be late"

With another brief nod the clerk and his coach trotted off and the crowd filled the gap they had left. Pretending she hadn't heard the clerk, incase Illyah wanted one of his staff to go with him, Sasha shoved the cigar box into the small amount of space that was left on the coach, decided that she probably wasn't small enough to fit in between the chair, desk and bookcase that had been wedged inside and waved to Illyah "Coach is pretty full Boss, I'm going to walk back to the office. I'll see you there"  
>She set off at a brisk walk...<p>

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 20, 2008 03:24 PM<p>

Verurteilen leaned against the wall, and stared fixedly at the one adjacent, she soon felt someone accelerating down the street, but did not turn around to look, nor did she when the man walked over to her and inquired her about what she had found out

"Mister Nathan," she said, moving only her eyes to face him, "I have followed zis man to ze best of my abilities, and I have seen him do nothing out of ze ordinary" True, she knew he had done a few things that no human should be capable of doing, but she had never seen him doing them

"vhen I had found him, he seemed to simply be on his vay home," she continued, "parried vith a member of ze Theieve's Guild, vut zat is not uncommon behaviour vhen a human is given the choice of his money or his life, I zen followed him to ze cemetary, vhere he seemed to be interested in a near by vault, perhaps visiting a lost aquaintance, after zat, I feared zat he vas beginning to grow suspicious of my presence, and I vas forced to cease pursuing him"

By this point, Verurteilen had removed the pouch that she had found from her cloak, and had begun to idly toss it, and catch it again, in her hand

"Vut shortly after I had begun to follow him," she said, "I had come across something quite unusual, zere vas a man lying on ze ground, obviously dead, vut in his hand, I had found zis"

Here, she had caught the pouch, and tossed it over and into Nathan's hand

"I thought zat you might be interested, so I took it, after all, ze man appeared to no longer be in any condition to use it for anything"

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted July 21, 2008 05:12 AM<p>

Illyah had been looking foward to a nice night at home, but it now looked like that would have to wait.

The ride back to the office was uneventful even though they were followed for a distance by the press hounds. He hoped Nathan was alright; poor guy looked a little green there for minute.

He immediately began to help the others unload the seized items into the vault and wrote out tags for the inventory.

My, my, my...being called to the office after only one day on the job?

he toyed with the idea of taking someone with him.

Why? You want witnesses? Besides, the invit- order was addressed to you.

Illyah turned to the others and told them they should call it a day.

"We did good today. I know this can't be easy, but if you keep this up, I'm sure we'll be just fine."

Not sure of what else to say, Illyah moved to close the vault door - stopping a second to make sure Meera wasn't still inside. She could be so quiet sometimes.

Figuring he had just enough time to wash up and change his jacket, Illyah got ready to see Vetinari.

Mind if I stay home tonight?

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 22, 2008 12:04 PM<p>

Sasha slowed down once she was out of sight and sound of the Thieves Guild. She lent against a wall and rested her head against it, looking up at the dimming sky as the daylight was chased away by the growing twilight. Her mind was whirling after today, it had been nothing like she had expected but it had been pretty darn satisfying to see the look on Boggis's face. The memory of it brought a broad grin to her face, which quickly vanished as somthing clatterd at the entrance to the street.

Probably just a cat or somthing, but still...best to keep moving just incase Boggis didn't quite undertand the whole 'not allowed to kill Sasha anymore' thing

Sasha resumed her walk back to the tax office, whilst she ambled along she thought about the day and Her new colleagues. Why Nathan had left in such a hurry back there? And there was the thing with the door knob, and he had known exactly what to order for her at the cafe. And it was impossible to pick his pockets without him knowing...she puzzled over her suspicions for a while to pass the time as she walked.

Illyah was another one who puzzled her, he seemed pretty norma...except for his habit of talking to thin air.

Meera was very quiet, there wasn't much to go on with her. Candice seemed to be, as Sasha had made know rather vocally on several occasions already, an airhead. Probably an only child and spoilt rotten, no real experience of the world outside her glizty clubs and parties. She seemed to be a people person though from what Sasha had seen

Watching people came naturally to Sasha, she watched and observed and filed away the information without even being aware she was doing it. When going for a target Sasha would notice everything about the person from how they tied their shoes to which pockets they kept their hankerchief in. Of course she would also know where they put their wallet, observation could be a very useful tool.

Perhaps if she had been paying more attention to observing her surroundings she would have been aware of the shape in an alley that cut through the street where she walked. Something that looked very similar to a knife glinted and the shape shifted position as Sasha walked closer to the mouth of the alley

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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6.5.0 


	6. Chapter 6

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Jump to new posts Hello, Mrs Wizzard [ log out ] Terry Pratchett Message Board General Discussions Sator Square A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG (Page 19)

UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 ... 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 25, 2008 09:07 AM<p>

Nathan caught the pouch with ease and as he felt its weight land in his palm his heart beat a little quicker with suppressed excitement. It was a sign of his agitation that he did not interrogate her further. Instead he handed Verurteilen the paper money without another question.

Thank you.

Was all he said before turning and disappearing at a run. The sky was darkening and Nathan knew he was running out of time.

Out of the deepening shadows behind Verurteilen came a figure dressed all in black, a hood covering his or her face. The figure held out an envelope.

In there is the photo of your target and half the payment now, this is non-negotiable, do we have a deal? Your answer need only be yes or no.

The figure spoke in a rasping whisper as befitted someone negotiating a deal that was entirely legal.

The patrician sat quite calmly at his desk finishing off a letter, his secretary Drumknot stood hovering behind him. He took out a small black box and placed it on the table, moving the candle a little distance away from it. Opening it up he took out the black ring that nestled in the satiny interior. Affixing his seal to the letter he rolled it up and handed it to his secretary before looking up and seeing Illyah as if for the first time.

Ah Mr Kuryakin, how nice to see you and after such a successful day. You have managed to get the outstanding debts of the Merchants and Thieves Guild, no mean feet. Please, would you care to tell me how you managed such a feet.

The two copies of the times, their front pages splashed with the picture of the Tax Team, apparently breaking into the Merchants guild and appearing with large sacks of money. Vetinari steepled his fingers and waited.

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Mrs Wizzard

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>posted July 25, 2008 12:03 PM<p>

"You vere vise to vait until he vas gone," Verurteilen said, to the hooded figure, behind her, without turning around, "I could feel your heart beating vack zere ze entire time zat he vas talking"

She turned around, and snatched the envelope from his unresisting hand, with a flick of her gloved hand, the unsealed flap, opened, and she removed the icongograph

She looked at it for a few seconds, and then slid it back inside of the envelope

"No," she said, flatly, "I vill not take on zis contract"

"I am afraid that you do not have a choice, miss Verurteilen"

Verurteilen turned, and saw Mauria Barleysway standing behind her, she had a crossbow in one hand, and she was holding a wooden stake in the other, Verurteilen was backed into the corner of the alley way, where she had tried to jump up, and onto the roof above her, but Mauria was ready, with a single shot from her crossbow, she hit Verurteilen in her left foot, and brought her down to a laying position on the ground, clutching her foot

"Damn you!" Verurteilen spat, tears forming in her eyes, she wrenched the bolt out of her boot, and managed to prop herself up against the wall, where she could examine her new wound, "who are you?" she shouted to the man, he removed his hood

"Maurice Capenspire?" she gasped, and turned back to Mauria, "you"

"I did not want for it to have to come to this, believe me, miss Verurteilen," she said, "we were going to simply hold you hostage when you came to the Assassin's Guild to kill Maurice, but since you had never showed up, we were forced to take matters into our own hands" she walked over to where Verurteilen sat, and looked down upon her, "now, why was that, I wonder? Care to share with us, miss Verurteilen?"

Verurteilen growled at her, she knew that she was now trapped, so she told them

"I vas afraid of ze Assassin's Guild!" she spat, her voice breaking, "they have been after me zis entire time zat I have been in zis city, I vas afraid of vhat vould happen to me if I got caught!"

"Well, now it seems that you have a good reason to fear us, miss Verurteilen," said Maurice, coming forward

In the silence that followed, few people had passed by the alley way, but even if they had, the night had already reached a point of darkness where no one would see what was going on, and they would not have even cared, any way

"Vhy are you doing zis to me?" Verurteilen mumbled, after a while, after she had gotten her wound to stop bleeding, Maurice answered

"We have attempted and failed on several accounts to kill him, ourselves," he said

"You however," Mauria finished, "are the best in town, people have heard of you, and the watch is baffled on what to do about you," she fingered the wooden stake, "but we know exactly what to do with such a worthless vampire like you, miss Verurteilen, so you will kill him"

Verurteilen looked away, snarling, she knew that she had been defeated

[ July 25, 2008, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted July 25, 2008 12:30 PM<p>

Kayla collapsed on the kitchen table, exhausted. She had spent the entire day cursing the broom that she had been attempting to wield through the corridors, and the sniggers from a particular old and batty resident had put and edge on her temper. Though her hand hadn't hurt in the morning the pain had gotten worse and worse through the day and the feeling of uselessness had grown and grown as each tiny touch brought shooting pains right up her arm. She stared angrily at the table as Ed rushed about to make supper for the two of them, and rebuffed any attempts on Ed's part to make conversation. After some minutes he finally lost it and began to shout.

Looke 'ere Kay, yes can' sit aroun' mopin' fer the rest of yer days, yes gotta get up an' go. I ain' gonna hold yer 'and while youse mope abou' the place, and I ain' gonna go tiptoein' round you when yes ain' exactly full of the love of human kindness. Just buck yerself up 'ere or you'll feel Mrs Burges 'and afore verra long. She dont hold wiv mopin eithers

Kayla made to say something but was cut off once again by a slightly less angry Ed

So were yous goin to eat tha ? I ve a fearful unger after cleanin the ol pantry. You do no wanna know wha the rats ve been doin down there

He gave an involuntary shudder, and the sincere look on his face made Kayla laugh. Ed was at the stove, attempting to chop... what she hoped was a piece of meat, whilst stiring the stew and stoking the fire with his foot. Kayla watched him for a moment, the effect was quite comical, before heaving herself up and grabing the piece of wood that was about to cause Ed's foot to be set alight, throwing it in the fire.

"there, yer laughin' now. so what's eatin' yes?"

Kayla smiled and was a bout to answer when they both heared the ping of a crossbow bolt and the thump of a body against the cobbles. the pair looked at each other momentarialy before racing out of the kitchen, through the courtyard and ducked under the low door into the alley beyond. Peering out from behind the boxes piled up at the entrance, Kayla heared the last of the conversation.

"Verurtelien" she breathed into Ed's ear. "she's the one that saved me" Kayla could see in the faint glow from the moon diffused through the cloud that there was some liquid on the floor, and on Verurtelien's foot. The woman with the crossbow walked away, and Verurtelien turned to face down the alley. Waiting a moment for the woman to roam completely out of sight, Kayla crept silently down the alley towards the woman, Ed trailing behind her, his face white with terror.

"Miss Verurtelien, are you Ok?" Kayla's voice shook slightly; she realised that she had nearly witnessed a murder.

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>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

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>posted July 25, 2008 01:09 PM<p>

Verurteilen had pleaded with Mauria that she had no idea where the man had gone, and she would have to find him later, and that, thanks to her, she would need a night in order to recover from her wound, Mauria had left, but had ordered Maurice to keep a close watch on Verurteilen, he had agreed, and had ducked back into the shadows, where only Verurteilen could possibly sense him

Verurteilen was left, staring at her feet, knowing that she would be limping for a while, she did not look up, until she heard the sound of someone coming towards her, she turned, and took a few moments to recognise the girl standing with a boy before her

"Kayla?" she said, and noticed the look on the boy's face

"Oh, calm yourself, boy," she said, "you look like you are going to be sick," she turned back to Kayla, "do not vorry yourself, girl, a bolt through ze foot vill not be enough to kill me"

Shuddering with a new pain, the vampire picked herself up and, holding onto the wall for some support, she stood up remarkably straight for someone with an injury like hers

"So," she said, feigning a smile, and gertured towards the boy, "he your boyfriend?"

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>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

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>posted July 25, 2008 01:19 PM<p>

"I uh, well that is...we, kind of worked out the easiest way to-

Illyah sat in the chair across from the Patrician and began to squirm like a child that had been caught doing something wrong.

Oh go ahead, tell him. You know - tell him about the golem and the door, the wall, the...

"We were very persuasive my lord. We had the authority of the city behind us and used it to our advantage."

He could see the front pages of the papers and knew they had been left out for 'effect'.

"I didn't expect to become the talk of the town though; we uh, can be a little more discreet in the future...if that...I mean, if you...would it?"

Without thinking, Illyah reached out with a hand to the box on the desk in front of him. A raised eyebrow and a muffled cough from Drumknot brought Illyah back to focus.

"I must say sir, that the team you provided are very efficient and eager to do their jobs. If we had had such people in the Watch some years ago, we might have avoided some unpleasantness. I dare say that without them I'd be...lost."

Oh, so it's not as easy as you thought it would be, is it?

"No."

Realizing that Vetinari hadn't said a word while he had been rambling on, Illyah tried to do something productive.

He started to re-tie his shoe laces.

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>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

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>posted July 25, 2008 02:31 PM<p>

Sasha let out a expletive and stopped in her tracks as a shape loomed out of the gloom of the alley. The shadow held up another shiny and noticably pointy shape in it's hand and advanced, as he stepped forwrad the light caught his face revealed an already pretty homely visage made even more ugly by the sneer on his lips when he saw his target up close. The stubble that covered his chin stubble was networked with scars, and his eyes flashed with the sort of glee a cat has when it has cornered a particularly entertaining mouse as he came closer

"Gimme yer money, I ain't gonna ask twice"

Sasha backed away, she had a natural aversion to lethal weapons being pointed at her. Her hand slipped into her pocket and closed around her own knife, but her brain kicked in before she pulled it out. This guy was huge and armed and, quick as she could be with a knife, lets face it she had no chance against a brute like this.

She set her face into one of annoyance and stepped forward folding her arms

"Where's your guild card?"

The mugger laughed at her "Guild? Sweet'eart, I ain't from no Guild"

"No card? Typical! It's people like you who give us Guild thieves a bad name. Honestly, going around treating robbery as though it's illegal and that just anyone can do it. Well let me tell you, I've just come from the Guild and Boggis is not in a very good mood as it is. Do you know what he does to thieves like you?"

The mugger was beginning to wear a hunted look and was beginning to regret picking this 'easy' target "Whut? What's he do?"

Sasha shook her head sand rolled her eyes, "You don't know?No I can't... It's just too horrible to talk about"

The man relaxed his knife slightly and rolled his eyes "No go on, you gotta tell me now you mentioned it"

Sasha seemed to think for a moment then nodded and made a show of looking behind each shoulder lest someone hear this insight into Guild justice "Okay, come closer"

he took a couple of steps closer and, trying not to gag on the rank wave of body oudor that rose from the man Sasha leant in to whisper "Okay, this is so grusome you probably aren't going to believe it but the first thing he does is..."

There was a satisfying 'ooopmh' as her knee connected with the distracted thief in a place guaranteed to make a man crumple. By the time he had picked himself up again Sasha had sprinted down the street and taken a few sharp turns before finally slowing down in a vacant alley. Her heart hammering from the exertion she checked she was free from pursuers and sat gingerly on a a half rotted crate to get her breath back. Sliding free from it's clip her hair cascaded into her face and there was a muffled curse from under the mass of tresses

[ July 25, 2008, 02:42 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted July 25, 2008 03:47 PM<p>

Kayla looked sideways at Ed after Verurtelien's question.

"no, as a matter of fact, he's just my..."oh this will sound weird"room mate"

Kayla wasn't fooled by Verurtelien's insistance that she was ok. The smile she had given looked a little like a grimace, and Kayla could see how much the wall was holding her up. Offering her good arm, after the rush of adrenaline the wound had started to throb again, she indicated the courtyard door, still open at the back of the alleyway.

"you can come and clean yourself up inside if you wish, you don't want to be caught by any unsavoury types out here in the dark"

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 25, 2008 04:54 PM<p>

Verurteilen shook her head when Kayla offered her arm and, gently letting go of the stone wall, and leaning her weight on to her good foot, she managed to keep herself up without support

"Thank you," she said, in reply to Kayla's offer to get cleaned up, "vut I doubt zat zere's anything zat could ve done for it, it stopped bleeding, so I should ve fine"

Hoping that this would be enough to convince the girl, Verurteilen sighed

"So how much of zat did you see?" she said solemnly, refferring to Mauria's earlier ambush on her

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted July 25, 2008 05:07 PM<p>

"we just caught the last words...why?"

Ed was poking her in the shoulder quite hard, and when she turned around she saw him pointing into a dark corner. Kayla peered in, but saw nothing and simply dismissed it as a scare. He had reacted alarmingly badly to the sight of the injured woman.

Kayla's inner voice, the voice of reason was also trying to get her attention You know that this could have been dangerous, but you still came in, full of heroics. look where it's got you, nearly witnessing a murder and now stuck between a stupid woman who won't even admit that she can barely walk and a dillusioned boy who faints at the ight of blood. Kayla hated that voice, it sounded remarkably like her mother.

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>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted July 25, 2008 07:09 PM<p>

A few steps further on, Talbot glanced behind him to see the back of the retreating vampire. He shrugged. Perhaps it was just a co-incidence that he had met her there, and yet He quickened his pace nonetheless. He was sure her influence was a factor in the changes that had come over him and he was glad to put distance between them. At this speed, and with Igor lurching along beside him, he soon reached The Shades and the welcome sight of his dental practice.

The waiting room was quite full when dentist and manservant entered. A few familiar faces looked up as Talbot walked towards the surgery door and reached for his faded blue jacket hanging just outside.

I won t keep you a moment, he said to the room in general. Igor, I need to you help me for a moment before my first patient. The two of them disappeared into the surgery and Talbot shut the door behind them. No sooner was the door closed than Talbot slumped ashen-faced into a chair, feeling suddenly weak. The exertions of the evening and his rooftop acrobatics had taken their toll. I need some of your potion, Igor. Quickly!

Igor hurried out of the surgery, returning moments later with a conical flask from which he poured a green liquid into a glass and handed it to Talbot who drank the contents greedily. After a short while, colour began to return to his face and he sighed with relief. What s happening to me, Igor? he whispered. It s never been like this before. Igor rested a hand on Talbot s shoulder. It th alright, Thur. Only to be ekthpected but I m ekthperienthed in thethe thingth. You can trutht me to take care of everything, Thur.

Before Talbot had chance to ask Igor what he meant, his manservant had left the room and was ushering in the first patient of the night.

To the untrained eye, Talbot looked his usual self as he smiled at his patient, with his trademark daydreamy air. How nice to see you again so soon, Mr Maurice. What s the damage this time? The old werewolf clambered into the reclining chair and bared his teeth for inspection. Talbot leant forward and began his work. It would prove to be a very long night.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

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>posted July 25, 2008 08:48 PM<p>

Verurteilen was about to answer, when she noticed the boy trying to get Kayla's attention, she moved her eyes to look over to the dark corner, where she knew the assassin known as Maurice Capenspire to be stationed

She quickly and smartly took a step to the side, impeding the boy's view of the dark corner, her foot objected, but she ignored it

"It is just zat, it is not safe to be around me, at ze current moment," she began, "I have gotten myself into some deep trouble, and I am not entirely sure how or if i can get myself out of it, just by being here, you have put yourself and your friend in danger, especially with it getting late, and some of the more undesireable people lurking about"

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted July 26, 2008 04:10 PM<p>

Kayla knew she had lost, and with a tiny shrug she turned back to the hole in the wall.

"feel free to drop by some time" she called over her shoulder, before following Ed through the low opening and back inside.

Kayla bolted the door with a click, and turned around. She jumped as she came face to face with Mrs Burges, arms folded and foot tapping.

"Well, I said no slacking, but here you are sneaking in the back! Get back to that kitchen IMMEDIATELY! The boarders will be back soon, and it's tuesday." and with an almighty "hurrmph" she turned to go inside.

"Erm..." Kayla turned to Ed "what is the sugnificance of tuesdays?"

"Oh, Burges 's been readin'up on proper runnin' of gooood establismen's, an' they says tha' boarders shoul' be fed with stuff, you know good 'olesome grub, bu' she ain' half cheap, so we only does tha' on a tuesday. She informs the boarders tha' they shoul' be back as soon as is convenien' to have the grub that chinny an' I prepare an' serve." Kayla was about to ask who chinny was, when "oh, Mrs Everson 'as a fearful chin on 'er, but she's dead sensetive abou' it, so don' say anythin'."

Kayla was a little baffled by the whole business, but as she was earning her board here she must do exactly waht is required. Cradling her stump in her other hand, she made her way back inside.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted July 26, 2008 04:28 PM<p>

Verurteilen waited until she saw Kayla and the boy go back inside, before sighing, and falling back against the cold wall, relieved to take the weight off of her throbbing foot

"Hide yourself vetter, next time," she said, to the shadows, "I am going home for ze night"

Standing up, Verurteilen winced with pain, before moving out, and, with a dignified look, limped her way into the darkness of the Shades, and dragged her foot down the street, Maurice following, a few yards behind

[ July 28, 2008, 10:46 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 29, 2008 03:59 AM<p>

Vetinari sat quietly, watching the ex watchman quietly re-tying his shoes.

Nevertheless he finally said, regaining Kuryakin s attention, he suspected I have received a number of complaints, of course a number were inevitable, people don t like being parted with their money and guilds even less so. I would .appreciate it however, if you would curb your employees enthusiasm.

He allowed his words to hang there for a moment before continuing.

Tomorrow, as they say is another day and I hope it will go smoothly. Please don t let me detain you.

Nathan sat on the brass bridge, it was a warm night and the mist coming off of the Ankh would have been quite enchanting if it wasn t so disgusting to smell and if it hadn t obscured everything a foot or two in front of him. He had made it back to his home and put the pouch somewhere safe, but tonight he had not felt like staying in. Sitting un-obtrusively near the railings he watched as various people of the night crossed it, leaving him quite undisturbed, always unusual in a city in like Ankh-Morpork. He licked his nose and wondered about getting a bite to eat, after all, he didn t need to be in the office until tomorrow.

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted July 29, 2008 02:24 PM<p>

Illyah knew he was being dismissed, but something Vetinari said wasn't sitting well with him.

"I'll go, it's time for my dinner anyway, but I think you're wrong about trying to curb their enthusiasm though."

The temperature dropped considerably in the office.

"If we lose that momentum, the tax office will just become another...office. We won't have the ability to do our job."

Now he was entering dark waters.

"This isn't like any other city out there. We're not just trying collect taxes from farmers and blacksmiths - we're having to go up against some of the oldest families and most influencial guilds ever incorporated."

Illyah stood up and walked over to the door.

It's not nice to go away mad.

"I'll tell them...sir. But I think it's a mistake."

Illyah went straight home. He was hungry, a little tired, and just wanted to go watch the stars.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 ... 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 29, 2008 02:50 PM<p>

Sasha's escape had brought her out on Peach Pie street, as she walked she fingered the handle of her knife...just incase anyone else decided she looked like good prey. She came to the brass bridge, there was somewhere she wanted to stop by before she headed back home so she began to cross the bridge to take the quickest route.

It was a warm, almost muggy evening and the river stank. The putrid mists curled around the railings and she wrinkled her nose as it's tendrils floated around her. She noted a huge dog on the opposite side of the bridge and skirted around it, someone jostled her as they went past

"Hey, give that back!"

The young lad stopped and gave her a 'who me?' expression that radiated so much of injured innocence that it had to be an act. He looked to be in his late teens and had the cockiness that went with it. Sasha strode over to him

"Yes you! Give me back the purse and piece of paper you just took from my right hand trouser pocket when you bumped into me" she held out her hand and glared

"Or what'ch gonna do?" the beligerent youth smirked as he tossed her purse casually in the air and caught it again. Sasha scowled then shrugged and seemed to be defeated as she turned away "Yeah, I suppose you're right, what could I possibly do to convince you?"

Sasha turned back so quickly that the lad barely had time to blink before she pressed her knife against his throat. In a low voice she growled at the pickpocket "Fairplay to you lad, you're a good thief but you chose the wrong target. Now I'll ask you again, give my stuff back now or I'll cut your throat and have you over those railings before you even have chance to piddle yourself"

Not wanting to argue with the blade or the obviously deranged woman weilding it the lad pressed the paper and purse back into Sashas hand. Satisfied she released him and in an instant was back to her usual cheerful self. She grinned and shoved her things back into her pocket

"There, that wasn't so hard now was it? "

The lads face flushed red, he mumbled somthing and scowled at her as he walked away, perhaps a tad quicker than was nessecary.

Smiling, Sasha wiped the knife with the bottom of her shirt incase the grubby thief had left any of his filth of it. It was a beautiful piece of work that had served Sasha well since she had it made for her. It was weighted perfectly for her and she kept it razor sharp, made from the best quality steel and with a beautifully engraved handle it was one of the few things that Sasha had willingly paid alot of money for and was the one possession she prided above all else. It had saved her life a few times, and she never went anywhere without it.

Sliding the knife back into it's pocket Sasha grinned at the back of the retreating would-be pick pocket and carried on her way...

[ July 29, 2008, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 30, 2008 04:53 AM<p>

Nathan watched unnoticed as the scene between Sasha and the pick pocket unfolded. It was never good to humiliate someone, especially a coward, it tended to end up turning out nasty. Still it would probably turn out to be one of those incidents, the kid would learn and if he had no license then he d better hope the Thieves Guild didn t get a hold of him before the watch did. Thoughts of the watch were never comfortable ones for Nathan, they had come into conflict on a number of occasions, mind you they d never been able to prove anything, the rumours were that there was a werewolf in the watch, Nathan knew that there were two. Still he knew how to deal with werewolves and so they never found their supposed evidence how very just of them. Realising that Sasha was walking away he decided to follow her, food could come later, this was far more interesting.

Standing up Nathan looked a great deal larger, his fur was a deep and rich brown and most certainly free of flees. He followed behind her silently for a while and then finally nudged her money pouch with his nose.

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 30, 2008 07:23 AM<p>

Sasha jumped when she felt somthing nudge her, thinking for a moment that the lad had come back for another go or to get his own back. She whirled around, saw nothing at eye height and looked down at a pair of lupine eyes

"Holy sh..." The sheer size of the creature took her by surprise. The creature she had mistaken on the bridge for a large street dog was, on closer inspection, a very large wolf.

There had been wolves in the forests around the village where Sasha had been raised, they occasionally took a sheep or chickens when food in the forest was scarce, but she had never seen one this big and had certainly never been this close to something that could rip her to pieces if she made the wrong move. She wondered how on earth it had managed to creep up on her so silently...the obvious answer, that the wolf was a very skilled predator, was not very reassuring.

There was something wrong with this picture though, why would a huge wolf be in the city?

There'll be plenty of time to wonder about that when not stood infront of the huge wolf in question, for now the question is 'what does it want?'

Sasha stood still and waited to see what the wolf did next, she got the feeling she wasn't about to become the main course and anyway she would need a decent head start to even attempt to outrun the creature and considering it was a mere few inches away from her then running was out of the question

I don't think I've ever had so many problems in one day. Busting into Guilds, facing Boggis, muggers and thieves and now a giant wolf...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted July 30, 2008 09:02 AM<p>

Nathan could sense her unease, he huffed in amusement and a cloud of steam came out of his nose. He moved forwards and made a show of sniffing her, despite the fact he could have done so where he was. It was a nasty trick to play, but Nathan couldn t help himself, he was feeling tricky. Examining her he took in what she looked like to a wolf, a mixture of smells all of which were different colours. Looking up the mass of hair was in disarray giving the thief a windswept look, like the sort of hairstyle some socialites practise for hours to get and use all sorts of products from dibblers magical tray to try and achieve it. Finally he sat back on his haunches and watching her he yawned hugely, exposing, for Sasha s very close inspection, every glistening tooth, from the long incisors to the crushing molars. Deciding that it would probably be a good idea to trail her home in case she got into trouble again and deciding that she wasn t going to move while he was still there, Nathan stood and allowed the mist to swallow him.

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted July 30, 2008 04:52 PM<p>

Sasha stood still whilst the wolf sniffed her, the look in it's eye's almost seemed as though it was enjoying her discomfort.

When he yawned Sasha blinked at the sight of the mouthful of teeth just inches away and resisted the urge to back away.

"Bet'cha could do alot of damage with those huh?"

She didn't know if he could understand her but she felt rude just standing in silence. Then as swiftly as he had appeared the wolf stood and vanished into the curling mists. Sasha relaxed, and without hesitation turned and continued on her way. As she walked further away from the river the mist receded as if unwilling to stray too far from the water. She took a left at the end of the bridge and kept going until she reached Pon's Bridge, as she was about to cross it a noise made her turn. Nothing could be seen in the dark street behind her but Sasha still picked up the pace a little, she was almost at her first destination. Upon reaching Sheer street she slid into the shadows by a small building, there was a stack of crates alongside the side of it and Sasha hauled herself up onto them, making surprisingly little noise. She fiddled with a small window until there was a tiny click and pulling it open she slid inside, her slim build only just being small enough to wriggle through. When she was about halfway through anyone listening would have heard a muffled curse and seen the wriggling limbs dangling from the window begin to wriggle even more

"Oh bugger, I'm stuck...maybe if I turn this way and then...ouch!"

There was a thump as Sasha slid free and landed ungracefully in the tiny storeroom which smelt of a vagualy medicinal smell and was lined with shelves full of various bottle jars and boxes, rubbing her head she got to her feet, and feling slightly dazed peered around until she found what she was looking for. Having stashed it under her shirt she climbed back out onto the street, a little more gracefully this time. The night breeze caught her hair and billowed it out behind her and she jumped silently back down to the street...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 02, 2008 02:10 PM<p>

Illyah sat on the blanket he had rolled out on the roof of the boarding house. The half eaten sandwich sat on the plate next to him and the cup, now empty, rolled in the wind.

Next to him, a cigarette hung in the air, slowly smoking itself.

You got out of that one pretty easy.

"Oh yeah? What do you know?"

The cigarette dipped slightly and ash fell to the tiles.

I know that for a second there, Vetinari had his 'finger on the button' so to speak.

"He wouldn't. He appointed me, remember? I didn't ask for this job, he gave it to me."

He doesn't want to lose face with the Guilds. He's the boss, sure - but by mutual agreement. Even a tyrant has to play nice when he's outnumbered.

Illyah stared into the darkening night sky. After the first full day on the job he wasn't as sure about as he had been; maybe he'd opened his mouth more than once.

"I guess."

Next to him, the plate slid closer to the cigarette.

You gonna finish that?

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted August 02, 2008 02:30 PM<p>

Verurteilen found her alley way, and limped inside, she maneuvered herself to the far corner, and let herself slide down to the ground

She took out her ribbon, and let her hair fall around her shoulders, and leaned back on, her hat acting as her usual pillow, as she closed her eyes, she sensed Maurice sliding easily into the shadows, adjacent to where she rested

"Spending ze night?" she asked, without looking, and she could tell that Maurice would be nodding

"I have been given my orders from Mauria, I am not to leave, no matter what"

The silence fell upon them, like a blanket, and Verurteilen was finding it hard to sleep when she could feel him staring at her, finally, he spoke

"You sleep sitting up?" he asked

"To lay down is to be submissive," she said, and then countered, "you sleep standing up?"

"I have no intention of going to sleep," he said, coldly

"Thanks to your girl friend," Verurteilen replied, just as coldly, "I doubt zat I vill have any luck vith sleeping"

That was an outright lie, for as the silence once again descended upon them, Verurteilen felt nothing but exhaustion, as the throbbing in her left foot drained her of all of her energy, and she easily slipped out of the world of conciousness

[ August 02, 2008, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted August 06, 2008 02:14 PM<p>

Nathan opened his eyes and the world was a rich pattern of golds and shiny lights. Blinking he realised that the lights were still there as were the patterns. Slowly panic started t orise...was he blink? Wondering how in the gods names that had happened he tried to focus and remember. It was difficult he was very sleepy and all his muscles ached. Finally it occurred to him that gravity was not pulling down on his head as he was often used to. Further cogitation brought to light that his head was in fact leaning against something that was supporting the weight of his head. Coming to hte conclusion that this was an unsatisfactory arrangement, no matter how comfortable it was, Nathan lifted his head. The world lurched and span, but luckily for him, and at this point in time his immediate vacinity, he was comfortably sat in a chair. Swaying slightly he looked around, he was sitting at a desk and surrounded by a lot of other desks, this was certianly not his house. Where the hell was he? He looked at the walls, they were bare save for a map of the city with pins in a few place. Finally it all came back to him, he was in the tax office, he slumped in his chair, the exertion of trying to work out where on the disc he was, making him wonder if taking his head off the desk had been a good first move. Realising that it was light outside he stood up to go to hte window. He stopped half way to his standing postion and realised...he was compeltley naked. He sat down again...Well this was not exactly office attire, how was he going to explain this one then.

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted August 06, 2008 03:25 PM<p>

Verurteilen's dream was wild, she was trapped in the deep darkness, running away, terror bolting through heart, she did not know where she was going, but she knew that she had to get away

She could taste blood on her fangs, and the scolding voices of her parents echoed behind her, as she ran on, whatever she had done, she knew it was bad, who's blood had she taken?

She could see light in the distance, and she knew that once she escaped this forest, she would be out, and free of Uberwald

She had just about gotten to the light, when a hard kick in her side jolted her, and the alley way reappeared before her eyes, looming over her were the shapes of Mauria and Maurice, and she was kicked, again

"Stand, vampire!" Mauria barked, "it is morning, your foot should be healed, by now" she was once again holding the wooden stake in her hand, and Verurteilen was forced to comply to her command

As she stood up, she fell back against the wall, as she tested her foot, new paint shot up and down her leg

"Barely," she said, wincing, but Mauria had seemed to ignore this

"Here," Maurice said, shoving a crossbow in to Verurteilen's unresisting hands, "you will use this"

She inspected the weapon, a standard crossbow, loaded with an ordinary bolt, she looked up to Maurice, his hood down, and she realised that she was about eye level with him, this tall man

He looked young, not having to be a day over twenty five, despite the minor age difference, Veruteilen somehow felt that she was in more control than with Mauria, Maurice seeming to obey every word of the werewolf, could this man be one, as well? Verurteilen could not tell

"You know how to use this weapon," Mauria said, interrupting her thoughts, and obviously the dominant one, "come with us, we know just where he will be, this morning" she turned, and walked out of the dim alley way, Verurteilen following, unwillingly, close behind, and Maurice trailing behind her

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 07, 2008 02:49 AM<p>

After her brief visit to the store room Sasha headed to Gleam Street, occasionally checking over her shoulder. She was sure she could hear a noise behind her, so it was no small relief when she came to the same house that she had visited the day before. Glancing around once more Sasha flicked her hair back behind her shoulder and knocked on the door, after a few moments there was the sound of light footsteps and the door clicked open just enough for a pair of eyes to peek through at shoulder height. Sasha was obviously a welcome visitor as the door was flung open and a small pair of hands grabbed her arms and pulled her inside, Sasha pulled the newly accquired bottle from under her shirt as she stepped through the doorway...

...A couple of hours later Sasha emerged from the house. She stood just outside the door and inhaled the cool night air, relishing the coolness in her lungs after the stuffy heat from inside the house. She rubbed her face with her hands, it was getting late and she was tired. Today had been unusually eventful. Time to head home. She was probably too late for the Tuesday special that Mrs Berger insisted all resident turned up for but she was too worn out to care.

It didn't take long for Sasha to reach her lodgings in Elm Street, she let herself in quietly and headed up to her room. After a few momernts to discard her clothes and drag a brush through her hair Sasha climbed under the clean but slightly scratchy blankets, thumped the slightly lumpy pillow a few times in an effort to disperse the mysterious bumps, made sure her knife was nestled in it's usual night-time spot under the pillow and settled down to let herself drift into a deep sleep.

When the pale morning light broke through the grimy window Sasha opened her eyes blinked groggily and stretched. After a couple of moments to remember who she was and where she was Sasha kicked off the blankets and got up. She washed at the chipped basin in the corner, sighed when she looked in the mirror and saw the state of her hair then spent a few minutes taming it with a brush. Once she was sure she was presentable she got dressed, pocketed her knife and headed downstairs and out side. Although Mrs Berger did provide a breakfast of sorts it wasn't anything Sasha could face this early in the morning, rumour hasd it that the porridge tried to escape if the cook turned her back on it. So she decided to grab breakfast on the way to the office

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted August 07, 2008 09:54 AM<p>

Drumming his fingers on the table Nathan s mind raced. He had to find something, anything that might pass as clothing in a pinch. Standing he walked over to the window and looked it, the day was a lot earlier than he had thought, the sun hadn t quite peaked above the horizon and the light was still that fake light before dawn. The moon still hung bright and full in the sky and he shivered when he saw it, goosebumps ran down his entire body. He knew, just like every werewolf in the city, people were perfectly willing to accept you, until they found out that you were a werewolf. People found out you were a werewolf and they treated you differently so Nathan had tried to keep it a strict secret. There were even those that thought it would cool to be a werewolf, he felt like biting them just to show them that flees, ticks, the strange urges you got when you passed a lamppost or other upright and the waking up with no spare clothes, felt like. Deciding that he was going ot have to find an alley and shift and run home. Moving as discretely as a totally naked man can, Nathan moved t othe entrance to the tax office and put his hand on the door knob.

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 07, 2008 12:43 PM<p>

Illyah awoke to the predawn light and realized he had slept all night on the roof. It wasn't the first time - it was too peaceful up there at night watching the lights in the sky.

Stranding and stretching, he collected his things and made the short trip to his room. As usual he was the first to wake up in the whole building and so he went about his daily routine as quietly as he could.

Finally ready for some breakfast, Illyah opened the door to leave and spotted the note tacked to the wood.

quote:

Vetinari can't be everywhere at once. One day you'll be alone. I know all about your little team.

Not knowing what to make of it right away, Illyah folded the paper and slipped it into his pocket.

He was hungry and right about now his usual plate would be waiting for him...

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted August 07, 2008 01:25 PM<p>

Verurteilen kept silent, as she was marched down the streets, as she knew that she had been defeated, she was going to have to kill someone who would be missed, and she was letting it happen to her, she could escape from this, just now, and she knew that she actually could, with just a quick movement of her blade, but she would just be voluntarily sinking to the level of which she was being forced to, now, having to kill without payment

She felt like a prinsoner, as she was marched in to an abandoned building, and lead up the stairs, and on to the roof

In the twilight of the early morning, Verurteilen could see the full moon, still shining in the sky

"He is near by," said Mauria, "I can smell his scent in that building" she indicated the office that was across the street, Verurteilen's heart thumped with terror when she realised what was about to happen

"We will wait for him to come out," Maurice said, from behind her, and waited, as the silence had descended upon them

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted August 08, 2008 04:35 AM<p>

Candice reached the tax office, after a hard nights drinking, hungover once again. She couldnt really remember anything from when they'd reached the theives guild onwards, and because of that decided to have an early one tonight. The only reason Candice was early, was because she'd come straight from the bar she'd been at.

She pulled open the front door, only to be confronted by a very naked Nathan. unable to help herself, her eyes shifted downwards, then back up, and she grinned.

"Naked at work! Brings a whole new interpretation to "casual fridays" she said, laughing. "I take it you've either lost your clothes, or they're too ruined to wear. My money is on the first though, if they were damaged they'd still be slightly more decent than you are now."

she grinned again.

"i've clothes hidden all over the city just incase something like this happens to me - which it has. Best you do the same if this is a common occurance."

Laughing, she pushed past him, and went and collapsed at her desk.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted August 08, 2008 07:35 AM<p>

Nathan stood there as Adie 'inspected' him and listened to her advice. If only she knew how close to the truth she was with the clothes around the city remark. Deciding that he still needed to find some spares he stepped out. The fact that he was naked did not really embarrass him, you had to get used to it, but it was a strange thing to be doing even in Ankh-Morpork so he preferred to avoid it and the questions and comments that came hand in hand with it.

The glint was the only clue, well that wasn't strictly true, there was the scent of a werewolf in the air but Nathan was a little pre-occupied. The glint materialised as a crossbow bolt, more inconveniently it materialised in his chest. He took a step back and collapsed into the Tax Office. His breathing shallow and erratic, there was surprisingly little blood, the bolt buried in his chest obviously stopping it form gushing out.

"Oh...Crap."

He clutching at the bolt, his hands slick with sudden sweat. The pain was already fading and he knew that couldn t be a good sign, the metal bolt seemed to be sapping strength and life from him at a staggering rate. He couldn t lift his head and he couldn t even see Candice. He had to get the bolt out, but his hands were too weak. His hearing cut out, then his sight and then his sense of smell. He could feel his heart, slow and slow and slow again. Finally, Nathan s heart stopped and he lay Naked on the floor of the Tax Office.

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	8. Chapter 8

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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 ... 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 08, 2008 11:10 AM<p>

Sasha walked along the street sipping her coffee and reading her paper, a movement caught her eye and she looked up to see Nathan leaving the office. In fact she saw an awful lot more of Nathan than she had intended to.

Grinning, she was about to call out to tease him about his naturist appearance when there was a glint, a sickening organic noise and Nathan staggered backwards with a shining crossbow bolt embedded in his chest.

Sasha's coffee cup rolled on the ground where she had dropped it, she ran to the office door and knelt down by Nathan.

"Looks like you're as good as making enemies as me. Nathan? Nathan? Can you hear me? Oh s**t!"

She felt for a pulse but there was nothing, she checked him over. Not breathing, no pulse...tentativly she put her hand on his chest to feel for a heartbeat but wasn't surprised when she felt nothing. Ignoring the sticky blood on her hand she looked around the office and saw Candice in her usual 'morning after' position, head down at her desk.

"Candice, get your ass over here and help me, I think he's dead!"

Quite what Sasha expected Candice to be able to do about a dead person was not clear but it had seemed like a obvious thing to say, Sasha checked again, but still no signs of life.

She sighed and shook her head, the bolt had killed him out right. The sight of the bolt in his unmoving chest was making her feel sick so without thinking she grabbed it with both hands and wrenched it out of him.

Well, this was a crappy way to start the day...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted August 08, 2008 02:56 PM<p>

Hands shaking, Verurteilen released the crossbow, and heard it clatter to the ground, unable to believe what she had just done

"Well, done, miss Verurteilen," Maurice said, darkly, and those were the first words Verurteilen's mind registered, bringing her back to reality, anger boiling with in her whole body and blood, she turned, and shot out her hand, shoving a blade deep in to the man's side, and she watched him as he dropped dead on to the floor of the roof

Hearing a terrified gasp from behind her self, Verurteilen turned to the horrified face of Mauria

"Y-you can not do that!" she screamed, in terror, "you said it your self! You do not kill who you are not payed for!" almost before she could finish the sentence, Verurteilen had lashed out, and had the werewolf pinned, by her jerking shoulders, to the chimney, Verurteilen drew her self down to eye level with her, her nose was only a few centimeters away from the werewolf's, Mauria's face now white with her terror

"I vill get my payment," Verurteilen hissed, "for everything you have done me, humiliating me, treating me like a vas some street urchin, holding me hostage, and then using me to kill somevone, you vill now pay, miss Mauria Barleysvay"

Before the terrified Mauria could draw another breath, Verurteilen shot out, and bit her neck, drawing out her warm, and living blood

Verurteilen stepped back, as Maruia fell, shivering, to the floor of the amandoned roof, her face was as white as snow, and her eyes were blank

"I have no silver," Verurteilen hissed, "so you vill survive, but rest assured, it vill not be a good life, good bye, Mauria Barleysvay"

With that, the vampire leapt across the near by roof tops, and out of sight

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 09, 2008 03:14 AM<p>

Events had passed in a bit of a blur since Nathan had died on the floor of the Tax Office. Candice had called the watch, not the favourite course of action from Sasha's point of view but she begrudgingly admitted that was probably the correct way to deal with this sort of thing. Sasha's previous encounters with corpses usually involved a hasty disposal, she wasn't proud of it but there had been occasions where her blade had brought a swift if bloody death to one or two people. In all fairness though, they had started it...

Aware that her mind was wandering Sasha shook her head and tried to ignore the accussing tone in the officers voice as she was questioned. Of all the officers that they could have ended up with it had to be that damn woman again, Sasha glared at the Sergeant as the woman checked the office, presumably for clues or something. Her patience was beginning to wear thin now, she tried not to clench her teeth as she answerd the questions from the young corporal who was with the woman.

"For the tenth time, no I did not shoot him, and I don't know who did...Yes, I know I have his blood on my hands, that happened when I tried to see if he was still alive...No, it's not 'convienient' that I happened to turn up just as he was shot, I work here so does he...what is she doing? Did she just sniff my desk?"

Sasha had been watching the blonde sergeant whilst fending off the idiot corporals questions, the woman turned round now ignoring Sasha last question "Corporal, that's enough. Miss Vine didn't kill Mr Spree and if she had you can bet that she certainly wouldn't have waited around for us to turn up"

Sasha glared at the corporal "See? At least someone round here has the brains to do her job"

After a tedious half an hour where the pair of officers took iconographs and made notes, although Sasha noticed that Jeannie seemed to stay away from Nathans bloodied body, A squeamish watch officer? That made no sense. Finally Sergeant Jeannie put away her note book. "I think that about wraps it up. A cart will be here soon to take away the Vine, I'll need you to come with us and sign a formal statement back at the watchhose"

Sasha nodded, her face solemn , "Yeah sure. Someone should go with him anyway. I hear you guys have an igor, I've heard stories about them and dead bodies, you better keep an eye on him."

Jeannie rolled her eyes then bent over to pick up the crossbow bolt that lay bloodstained and glinting on the office floor where Sasha had flung it, she reached out and picked it up, there a strange expression on her face briefly but it vanished as quickly as it came.

The sound of the cart rattling along the cobbled street outside came closer as it arrived at the building. There was a shout from the driver and two heavy set officers came into the office.

"Is this the body Sarge?"

Jeannie rolled her eyes again "Well do you see any other lifeless corpses with a hole in their chest? No? Ah well this must be it then"

Muttering somthing Sasha couldn't quite catch Jeannie followed the officers as they carried Nathan outside. Sasha watched as they manhandled Nathan's body into the cart, despite the fact she knew he was dead she still winced as they dumped him down onto the wooden boards.

The idiot corporal walked up beside her "We'll have more questions for you at the watchhouse. The Sergeant will go back with the body, I'll escort you"

Sasha scowled at him "I do know the way and I'm a big girl, I can go by myself"

The corporal shook his head "You are officialy helping us with enquiries Miss, I could arresst you but am asking you to come voluntarily"

Sasha scowled at him "You really are very stupid aren't you? Your Sergeant has already pointed out that I wouldn't have stayed with him if I'd had anything to do with his murder"

The corporal looked smug "Ah but you could have thought that we'd think that so you've tried to throw us off the trail by doing exactly what we'd think you wouldn't do"

"What?"

"And you are covered in blood and you finger prints are all over the weapon"

Sasha narrowed her eyes "Actually they aren't, my fingerprints are all over the bolt. The weapon was in fact a cross bow"

The corporal looked triumphant "See? How'd you know that if you weren't involved eh?"

In the face of such ignorant logic Sasha could simply only sigh and allow the Corporal to escort her to the watchhouse, but she made up her mind to grumble about it the entire way there

[ August 11, 2008, 07:05 AM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 11, 2008 06:08 AM<p>

Illyah stopped a few yards away from the Tax Office and watched the commotion caused by Watchmen going in and out, the cart arriving and a crowd gathering.

He wondered if Vetinari had closed the office and things were going to be-

A couple of Watchmen came out of the building carrying between them what could only be a body. Wrap them in plastic, roll them up in canvas or stick 'em in a box, it was they way they were carried that told you what was inside.

Illyah looked at the faces of the officers and realized he didn't know any of them off hand; maybe inside...

Trotting up to the front door, he pushed by the officer guarding it and went straight for the office.

"Can somebody please tell me what is going on here?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 11, 2008 07:40 AM<p>

"Good morning Mr Kyrukin. It would seem that one of your employees has been the victim of..."

Jeannies tactful explantion was interrupted by a throughly disgruntled Sasha who looked like she could happily gut and hang the smirking corporal who stood beside her. Sasha smiled in a gritted teeth kind of way

"Morning Boss!I'll be a bit late for work today I'm afraid. Nathan got shot...well, killed actually,and this moron,...sorry, I meant corporal is convinced that I did it so I have to 'help them with their enquiries' which is a nice way of saying that they are about to arrest me."

Jeannie glared at Sasha who shrugged and gave an injured look "What? That's what's happened"

Shaking her head at Sasha Jeannie turned back to Illyah

"Miss Vine's brief explanation is unfortunatly true, Nathan Spree was shot dead here a little over a hour ago. Your other employees called the watch, but unfortunatly Miss Vine's finger prints are all over the bolt that killed him and his blood was on her hands and clothes so my colleague has chosen to take her in for questioning"

Sasha looked at Illyah, and shook her head "I didn't kill him boss, I just pulled the bolt out afterwards."

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 11, 2008 11:23 AM<p>

"Hold on, hold on here for a minute. Sergeant, you mean to tell me that Nathan is dead , killed here?"

Illyah wasn't a newcomer to murder, living in this city provided a certain, colorful education..but there was no way Sasha...

He turned to look directly at Sasha.

"You're telling me you had nothing to do with this?"

He almost didn't give her enough of a chance to answer.

"Sergeant, if she says she didn't have anything to do with Nathan... I believe her. I will bring her along shortly myself...but...there is no reason to arrest her."

You gonna take her in for questioning Sergeant?

"Yeah maybe I will. But Sasha didn't do it."

How do you know? You met her...what two days ago? How do you know she didn't knock him off, like in a-

*whispers* "Because she didn't do it. If she says she...look I don't have to explain myself to you. I know what I'm doing."

You were in supply for eighteen years-

"Sergeant, please...leave an officer here if you wish - but there's no need for an arrest. I will escort Sasha myself."

He hadn't even processed the fact that Nathan was dead.

"Is everyone else alright? Candice?"

Looking around quickly in the remaining shadows, Illyah called out faintly, "Meera?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 13, 2008 08:08 AM<p>

For the first time in a long time Sasha was struck speechless, Illyah actually believed her? Despite the fact that she truly was innocent it was surprising, she smiled

"Thanks boss...really"

The sergeant was giving Illyah a strange look and kept glancing form the empty space next to him back to Illyah. Sasha had begun to get used to Illyahs habit of having a conversation with thin air. Obviously deciding not to pursue her curiosity the sergeant nodded

"Very well, we shall expect Miss Vine at the watchhouse within the hour"

The corporal's smirk faded "But sarge, you can't just let a murderer..."

The ferocity of the glare that was turned onto the witless corporal by his senior officer even made Sasha flinch. Jeannie spoke in a low voice that could almost be classified as a growl

"Don't you dare presume to tell me what I can or can't do, Mr Kyrukin was, until a couple of days ago, a member of the watch. If he say's he will escort Miss Vine then that is what he will do. And until we have proved beyond all doubt who is the prepertrator behind this crime I suggest you refrain from throwing around accusations"

She dosn't think I did it either? Sasha was amazed but said nothing and simply watched the corporals expression when his sergeant ordered him to return to the watchhouse to begin the report on this whole sorry affair.

The cart with Nathan body on it rumbled away down the street and soon the office was left with just it's employees and the chalk outline of where Nathan had fallen, a few blood spots giving a grusome reminder of what had happened

Sasha sat down on her desk and sighed dramatically

"And so begins my last hour of freedom"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted August 13, 2008 02:59 PM<p>

Verurteilen was dashing across the seemingly endless roof tops, awkwardly, as she tried to pick up the slack caused by the wound still in her foot, and she was eventually forced to stop

Nearly tripping, she let her self fall in to the closest alley way, and sat down near the opening to the street

Now that her attention was focused on her injury, a whole new wave of pain washed over her, removing her hat, she bit down hard, and used it to muffle her scream, as her foot burned, and she could smell fresh blood coming from her boot

Breathing heavily, Verurteilen sat back, as some of the pain was lifted, and began to feel little light headed

Just as she thought that she was about to faint, the smell of blood once again caught her attention, but this time it was not hers

She looked up as the watch's cart passed by, and caught a glimpse of the body that it was carrying

Automatically, she focused her hearing on the two officers who seemed to be in charge, and caught only a part of their conversation, something about Sasha and figuring out the murderer, and she then sighed

"Zis is vhat I vas afraid of," she said, to the world in general, "I just killed some one who mattered, and so now I am in trouble"

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 14, 2008 03:25 AM<p>

Illyah waited for the room to clear out and then turned to Sasha and Candice.

"I need to know what you saw this morning."

Candice started the tale with her arriving early and finding Nathan in the office already. Sasha finished with finding Nathan on the ground.

"I don't even want to know why he was naked."

Illyah sat at his desk and stared at nothing for a few minutes.

"Can either of you think of anything I need to know about Nathan? Was he involved in anything...off the books?"

Thinking back to the note in his pocket, there must have been something to this - it didn't smell random.

Vetinari did tell you to tone things down a bit. Maybe he knows something.

"Yeah, maybe."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted August 16, 2008 01:34 PM<p>

OOC: I must apologise for my lack of posting, we are changing systems and going live at the end of this mont hat work and it is all a bit manic.

IC:

Igor washed the dried blood off of the body, all the clues they could take off of it had been taken.

"Itth thuch a wathte."

Igor commented to the figure standing in the doorway.

"I mean right in the chetht like that? jutht think of all the thpare partth gone to wathte."

Igor shook his head, murder was a terrible thing but in the igor's code, if you had to kill someone then try and make sure that as much of the stuff was as salvagable as possible.

"Well he'th all wathed, were there any planth for him?"

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 16, 2008 03:32 PM<p>

Sasha was quiet for a moment, then shrugged

"It's hard to say really, I've only known the guy a couple of days"

Forefront in her mind though was those people that Nathan had asked her to deliver that package to, and the threat she had been told to repeat to him. They had known exactly what they needed to kill him, it had seemed like an odd thing to say considering the multitude of ways a person can be dispatched but perhaps she should mention it. Trying to get past the feeling that she was snitching...after all Nathan was dead, did it really matter if she told Illyah about it now? And it might help to stop her being strung up for a murder she didn't commit...Sasha brushed her hair out of her eyes and hesitated before speaking

"Well, there was one thing"

She told Illyah and Candice about the package and the circumstances of it's delivery then seemed to think a moment more before continuing

"And when we were in the cells he had a visit from the Assassins, I got the impression he might have been in a bit of trouble with them. That's all I know"

Checking the clock Sasha counted the minutes until Illyah would have to escort her to the watch house, she had been hoping that her next stay in the cells would be a bit further in the future, and by that she meant 'never again'.

Stood in the doorway of Igors room Jeannie looked at the body on the table then looked back at Igor.

"Possibly. Don't take him to the morgue just yet. I'll be back later"

Turning away a thought seemed to strike the officer and she turned around pointing with her finger for emphasis

"And don't take any 'spares'"

"Yeth Thergeant."

He walked back to his shelves of various jars shaking his head and grumbling under his breath

"Thuch a wathte"

[ August 18, 2008, 12:23 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 17, 2008 01:43 PM<p>

Illyah was following very little of all this. he had known that Vetinari had hand-picked his staff - he didn't know that he had done so from the cells of the Watch.

Deciding not to bring it up right now, he looked around the office to make sure that there were no outsiders.

"You're not going to the Watch House."

Did you just say what I thought you said?

"Look, I got a note pinned to my door this morning from someone saying they knew all about you - it was a threat of sorts. Now you tell me about the Assassins Guild being involved..."

He took another look over his shoulder.

"I don't like this. The guilds have fingers in everything, even the Watch. Vimes keeps a good hold on things, but you can't exterminate all the bugs, there's always more. I don't think the sergeant has it for you, but I think going to a cell would be a bad move right now."

You got street smarts now? When did that happen?

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 17, 2008 02:27 PM<p>

"I'm not exactly thrilled about the prospect of going back there myself, but if I don't show up then they'll just come looking for me anyway."

Sometimes Sasha could really curse her own brain for making her say things like that, before she could back track though Illyah mentioned a note he had found on his door.

"Said they know all about us? What do they know?" she asked, with perhaps just a slight hint of panic to her otherwise calm appearance.

Illyah told her what the note had said, Sasha relaxed a little and leant back

"Ah I see, you know that could just be scare tactics. It's so vague, a bit like sending a letter to someone saying 'I know what you've been up to'. I mean, everyone has a secret so a statement like that can stir up a panic just from the person wondering which of their dirty little secrets it is that the sender knows about. We've made enough enemies in the past day, it could be any one of them trying to scare us off"

After a brief silence Sasha added in what she hoped was a convincing voice "I don't have any dirty little secrets by the way"

[ August 19, 2008, 11:02 AM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Mina Harker

Member Member # 4188

Member Rated:  
>posted August 18, 2008 10:18 AM<p>

Mirabell had overslept again! I really must get myself one of those alarm demon things.. she thought as she struggled into her clothes. Still it was fitting: assassins did approve of being fashionably late.  
>Urgh! She had to stop doing that! It was time, thought Meera, for her to realise that she was no longer an assassin.<p>

She rushed across to the office paused to catch her breath and tried to enter as quietly as possible, and walked in to a small pool of blood. A small pool of blood.  
>A Small Pool Of Blood.<br>A. Small. Pool. Of. Blood.  
>A small pool of blood?<p>

Mirabell looked around the room, taking time to register the white chalk outline, the worried faces of Candice, Jeannie and Illyah, the distinct absence of Nathan.  
>"Oh no!" she breathed "what happened?" Meera peered questioningly round the room.<p>

[ August 18, 2008, 10:40 AM: Message edited by: Mina Harker ]

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 19, 2008 11:20 AM<p>

Sasha raised a hand in greeting to Meera

"Mornin! Well so far this morning Nathan turned up to work naked, got shot by someone outside then died and I'm probably going to be arrested for his murder...which I didn't do by the way." Sasha managed a grin "But apart from that it's just a normal working day"

Sighing she stood up from the desk, and glanced again at the bloodstained chalk outline

"Look boss, I appreciate what you are saying but it's only going to look like I'm hiding something if I don't show up." she brushed back her errant hair from her face and decided a bit of honesty might be a good idea. Sasha the helpful citizen was just not an act she could pull off. She shrugged and gave a grin "Okay I admit that normally it wouldn't stop me from just doing a runner and getting the hells out of here but when Vetinari approached me about this job part of the deal was that I don't skip town." Her grin faded as fast as it had appeared and she shook her head "The best thing I can do right now is go along with their stupid investigation."

Never one to miss the opportunity for a bit of drama Sasha sighed heavily and turned towards the door

"Well I had better go and see what cruel future Fate has in store for this poor little thie...*ahem* I mean tax collector."

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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	9. Chapter 9

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted August 19, 2008 02:08 PM<p>

Kayla woke up the next morning early, her arm throbbing still, and Ed already up and chipping away at a block of wood in the corner. Kayla couldn't yet see what he was making, He had only just started, but knew from his brief tour of his collection last night after dinner was cleared thet he didn't like to talk about his unfinished ones. Kayla wandered up the stairs and round the building into the kitchen, where to her relief, Mrs Everson was setting out breakfast. After gobbling up her porridge, endeavouring not to breathe and thus inhale the strange fumes coming from the stove, before Ed came up, covered in sawdust for his breakfast. Kayla dumped her bowl in the sink, more out of hope than any likelyhood of it being washed, and grabbed the broom that was leaning up by the door, mustering all the vigour that she could. She was determined to finish early today and get a chance to wander round the city. Apart fro mthat rather eventful 24hours when she first arived in Ankh-Morpork, she had hardly seen any of the city and wqas itching to have a good look around.  
>although maybe taking Ed with me would be a good idea<p>

It was only 11 when Kayla finished her chores, having gotten the hang of sweeping one-handed. The trick was to fold the corner of the mat up, arrange the dust underneath, put the mat down and stamp on it until there were no lumps. Ed was only a little longer, having been appraised of the plan when he had seen her after breakfast, and together they walked into town, Ed keeping up a running commentary on the inhabitants of the city, although Kayla only really caught every other word.

"Tha' there is Ol' Ron, bu' i's a good fing 'e ain' come ou' wiv 'is dog, as 'e's twice as mad wiv tha' mangy thin', talks to i' as if i' can answer back the dosy pra'. An' Dibbler, mind 'im, them pies ain' even go' wh' ol' Chinny pu's in our grub, you never know if there's a part of yer own finger sometimes in them saussages"

Rounding a corner they came to the watch house, or A watch house as Ed seemed to indicate. Insofar as Kayla had previously known, it was rare to even get a single watch house in a town, even of this size, and more than that was practically unheard of. there was a cart outside, and a great dael of general milling around of those who wishd to look busy just incase somebody spotted them and tried to make them actually busy. Ed was alreay forgig ahead into the throng, and Kayla had no wish to be left behind so pushed her way through after him. Edalked up tothe watch desk once inside and tapped a rather large watchman on the elbow.

"Cap'n, wa's been goin on?"

Kayla was horrified, but the officer seemed to have taken no offence.

"Oh, hello Edward, and who's this?"

"this's ma mate Kayla, but you 'avent anwered my question."

"Well, there's been a murder at the new tax-office! But have no fear, for we shall persue the miscreant and he slash she shall be brought to justice!"

Kayla was gobsmacked. he had grown in stature as he said it, and a look of feirce pride in... who knows what, lay in his eyes. Kayla could see he was the type to cry during the National Anthem.  
>Kayla was just looking around the watch house when she thought she saw a familiar face out of the corner of her eye. she whipped round her headd to look more closely...<p>

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Mina Harker

Member Member # 4188

Member Rated:  
>posted August 19, 2008 05:41 PM<p>

Meera did not reel back in horror - If assassins did that for every death they heard about they would never get anything done. But this did not mean that she wasn't concerned.

"Wait." Mirabell placed herself between Jeannie and the door, "Just one more thing: How was Nathan killed? I could probably tell you if he was targeted by the Assassin's guild."  
>She paused. Wait Meera, do they know that you're an assassin- Er former assassin? Do you want them to know?<br>On one hand they'll distrust you, suspect you if the guild is involved.  
>On the other hand.. er... not much, though everyone here does seem to have a History..<p>

"Ummmm.. It's only that you were here weren't you? Assassins don't like to expose themselves to others, they prefer to be discreet and ..stylish. Quite frankly I wouldn't describe this mess as being stylish."

Phew! Everyone knows that, hopefully they won't notice anything.. thought Meera, woefully unaware of her assassin-like demeanour.

And she stood there, fighting the urge to melt back into the shadows.

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 19, 2008 09:01 PM<p>

Illyah listened to both Meera and Sasha and decided there was too much about these two that he didn't know. Unfortunately, this wasn't the time to start digging.

"Sasha, I appreciate your position, I really do, but I get the feeling you two might be able to find out in five minutes on the street what it would take the Watch five weeks to track down."

He figured he could hold off the Watch for at least a couple of hours...

"Could you? If I got you some time...could you find out what is going on here?"

You're not one of The Particulars you know.

"But, if we do this, I think you two should stick together. I might need Candice with me."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 20, 2008 03:33 AM<p>

Sasha listened to Meera and cocked her head looking thoughtful

"That's a very good point"

After a moments though Sasha nodded to Illyah, she wasn't surprised at what he said. After all her opinion of the watch was much much worse than Illyahs. Just look at how long it had taken them to catch up with her in the first place, she had been operating in this city for months before her unfortunate encounter with Captain Carrot had landed her in the cells.

"Okay boss, if it helps save my hide I'll do it. Okay then Meera, I think we should go and check outside first"

Once outside the door Sasha stood where Nathan had been

"Okay, he came out of the door and stood just...here. Then he got shot and stumbled back into the office like this..."

Sasha dramatically cluched at her chest and fell backwards through the door and onto the office floor before enacting a death scene that would have made the local thespians proud. opening one eye as she lay on the floor she saw Illyah and Candices faces and grinned

"Sorry boss, just trying to recreate what happened" She scrambled up and dusted off her trousers. "I'll just *ahem* get on with it shall I?"

She went back outside and looked around the street

"Y'know Meera, from the angle the bolt hit him I'd say it's a safe guess that our mystery shooter was somewhere high up"

She scanned the roofline then walked over to a likely looking building with a handy drainpipe. Years of living on her wits had kept her in good shape so climbing up to the roof should pose no problem. Sasha took hold of the drain pip and began to climb it, about halfway up there was an ominious creaking sound then a shudder as the rusty brackets that fixed the pipe to the wall gave way

"Oh sh..."

The rest of Sasha's exclamation was drowned out as she crashed into a pile of crates

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Mina Harker

Member Member # 4188

Member Rated:  
>posted August 20, 2008 04:06 AM<p>

"He was shot? Assassins hate using crossbows and the like, each contract is attended to personally." mused Meera "I'm almost certain that this was not done by a licensed assassin."

She watched Sasha attempt to scale the building.  
>"No! Wait, the drain-" Sasha fell with a crash. Meera looked out of the window worriedly "Are you ok?" she looked up at the wall again. "Hang on, I'll do it."<p>

This was just like the simple exercises they had done in first year! Mirabell scaled the wall easily, making hand-holds of the small gaps between bricks she quickly arrived at the top of the building. She stood up on the roof and looked across at the other rooftops.

"You said it came from that angle, right?" asked Meera scientifically. "In that case, it looks like he came from that building over ..there" Meera was pointing at an old empty looking building.

"So now what?" She asked the rest of the group.

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 20, 2008 06:36 AM<p>

Sasha thought about following Meera up onto the roof but decided she had enough bruises so stood back and looked up shielding her eyes from the sunlight as she followed the direction Meera pointed in.

"What now? um, I suppose we should take a look in there. This time though I'm taking the easy way"

And she walked over to the boarded up doorway of the , after a quick look around she found a suitable window. A quick jiggle with her knife popped the latch and it swung open, well not exactly 'swung' open but was forced open with lots of protesting creaks and metallic groans as Sasha yanked on it and forced the rusted hinges.

She turned to the others and grinned "See, easy and painless" and promptly hauled herself up onto the sill and disappeared. After a second there was a scream followed by a muffled squeak. Sasha's voice could be heard trailing off into the house "eww! Rats! I hate rats! Stupid disease ridden vermin, I'll show you who's boss...argh! gerrof my foot, gerroff my foot!"

She made her way up to the top floor of the building her hasty footsteps on the old wooden stairs giving away her quick retreat from the evil rats. Once upstairs Sasha wrenched open one of the front windows and swung herself out and up onto the roof. Standing up straight she brushed off her hands and turned to call for Meera only to find her already stood silently behind her

"Okay, you can come over now...flippin' 'eck, how in gods names did you do that so fast?"

Getting only a knowing smile in reply Sasha gave Meera a suspicious look then shrugged and turned back to business.

"Okay what can we see up here? aha!"

Crouching down Sasha looked closer, yup it was definitely spots of blood and scuff marks on the roof indicating a struggle

"Okay looks like we've found exhibit A"

Standing up Sasha cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled down to Illyah

"Hey boss, we've found something!"

[ August 20, 2008, 06:45 AM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 20, 2008 06:57 AM<p>

Illyah didn't like the climb up to the roof through the sea of rats, but he did like what he saw once up there.

"Well, it's a start. If I can convince the Sergeant to come up here, this could go more towards to your favor."

So what now, you go runnig to the Watch shouting, "Lookee what we found!"

"No, not quite."

Illyah stood on the spot and looked in the direction of the Tax Office; sure enough, sure enough he could see the doorway.

"Alright, I have to get to the Watch House. See if you can come up with anything else, but get off this roof and try not to disturb anything. Close this place back up on your way out."

He stopped and turned back to them.

"Did Nathan have any family?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted August 20, 2008 07:20 AM<p>

"If he did he didn't mention them to me. Sorry, but I really don'y much more about him than his name"

Nodding at Illyahs instruction Sasha went back down through the house, squealing as she ran through the seething mass of rats. Once outside she danced about in circles running her hands through her hair

"Ew! ew! eewww! Are they in my hair? I'm sure there's one in my hair!"

Once Candice had assured Sasha that there were no furry clingers-on in her hair Sasha calmed down and took a deep breath, shuddering as she looked back at the house.

"I hate rats, what's the point of them? Mangy disgusting little...ewww"

[ August 20, 2008, 04:04 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted August 20, 2008 07:46 AM<p>

Kayla woke dizzily. Whipping round to see whoever it was walking into the Watch house, she had barreled straight into a troll, with the predictable outcome. As she slowly opened her eyes, she wished she hadn't as a pair of mishapen eyes and a greasy quiff were presented straightin front of her. The eyes retreated, and Kayla could see that the rest of the face, and for that matter the whole body were in much the same condition, no two appendages being the same skin colour, or in some cases even remotely the same size. The man retreated still further, and Kayla caught sight of Ed in the corner, whie as a sheet and looking suspiciously at the things floating in the jar on the shelf in fron tof him. Spotting her, he came over and lifted her upright as a new wave of nausea washed over Kayla, this time from the smell of the place.

"there will be no lathting damage, but I could replathe that hand for you if you withhed. It would be no trouble, and I could even give you a fresh one."

Kayla had heared of this, the strange clan that could fixanyone and anything, but the prospect of having a hand off... someone else, a complete stranger. And anyway, that was rte sot hinhatrmoher haaaaaaaaldViews on, and much as she wished it hadn't, something of her mother's relentless teachings had ground itself into her.

"I'll pass on that for now, but thank you" The man looked affronted but stepped back, muttering about disregard for tradition and ungrateful kids.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

Posts: 6055 | From: Bath | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted August 20, 2008 03:59 PM<p>

The black coach stopped outside of hte tax office, that in and of itself was not very impressive, there were many black coaches in the city. However this one had the black seal of the patrician on the side of it. Of course more impressive still was Lord Vetinari who moved out of the coach wit hthe grace of a cat and the determination of a changing season. Drumknot moved behind his master with the discrete nature that only the private secretary could muster. The Patrician paused briefly over the chalk outline, examining the small pool of blood. Finally he looked up and, as if for the first time noticed the occupants of the room. Taking them all in one by one and finally settling on Illyah.

"Well Mr Kuryakin, It is only..." he took out a small gold pocket clock and looked at it, before it disappeared into the black robes and he looked up again "fifteen minutes to nine o'clock and already you appear to have had quite a busy day."

Despite not being offered a chair Lord Vetinari seated himself on Illyah's chair, drumknot taking out a fold away table and a small kettle and stove.

"It would appear that one of your employees has made a bit of a mess in the Tax office. As I mentioned before, I admire your enthusiasm, but I am sure I remember saying that perhaps it would be best if a little greater discretion were to be taken. I assembled a team for you Mr Kuryakin, it is quite rude to get one killed on the second day of his job. Would yo ucare to tell me what happened?"

Everyone in the room got the feeling that Vetinari knew quite well what had happened, perhaps this was a little test? or at least, soemthing to think about carefully.

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 21, 2008 06:56 AM<p>

Illyah wasn't a very good liar on the best of days - with rehearsal - so he figured it wasn't a good time to start.

"Your Lordship, I hadn't had a chance to er...discuss our conversation from yesterday with my staff. This happened before we opened for business this morning."

Be careful here my boy...

"As far as I can tell..*cough*..Nathan had shown up early this morning...had finished speaking with Candice and turned to leave the office when he was struck by an arrow."

Good, good.

"I'm not sure where it was fired from."

Oh-oh.

"I was just about to go have a word with the Watch...about that...thing...sir."

It was nice knowing you Illyah.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Tooth Fairy

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>posted August 21, 2008 09:28 AM<p>

It had been a busy surgery and Talbot felt drained as he finished cleaning his tools of the trade. Igor seemed unconcerned and went about his business whistling as only an Igor can but the less said about that the better. It s an acquired taste.

Sleep came and went all too quickly that morning as Talbot was woken by Igor standing beside the bed with a breakfast tray.

What time is it, Igor? he mumbled, lethargically sitting up in bed.

A bit early for you I know, Thur, a bit early I admit, but I have newth that might be of interetht. Igor laid the tray across Talbot s lap and continued. My couthin, Igor, who workth for the Watth hath jutht been round to thee me. He told me that there th been an aththaththinathion in the thity thith morning. Normally, I wouldn t be too interethted, unlethth there were any thpareth on offer, of courthe, but thith wath different, Thur. From Igor th dethcripthion, the victim wath that man who came to thee you rethently, athking for the dwarf th poutth. Theemth he wathn t wearing any clotheth when he wath found, whitth wath interethting, too. There wath obviouthly more to him than we thought, Thur.

Talbot stopped mid-mouthful. Swallowing quickly, he looked stunned. That sounds suspiciously like something that would happen to our werewolf friends in Uberwald, surely

Couldn t have thaid it better mythelf, Thur. replied Igor. There wasn t even a hint of irony in his voice as he spoke.

Igor? What was in that pouch and why do you think he wanted it? For once reality flitted across Talbot s normal train of daydreaming.

[ August 25, 2008, 06:54 PM: Message edited by: Tooth Fairy ]

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>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

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>posted August 22, 2008 12:23 AM<p>

Verurteilen caught a familiar glimpse out of the corner of her eye, and turned in time to see Kayla, colliding with a troll, and realised that she had been closer to the watch house than she had thought

"Vhat is she doing here?" Verurteilen mumbled, as an Igor emerged from inside and carried the girl off "if zat Igor is taking care of her, she is in trouble" Verurteilen watched as a few officers came close to passing the alleyway that she was resting in, "and I am in trouble if I stay here for much longer"

Holding on to the wall, Verurteilen heaved her self up, and stood there, leaning all of her weight on to her good foot, not realising that her other one was still bleeding, and the feeling of being light headed, was once again borught on, as she immediately tried to jump up, only causing her to loose her balance, and be brought back down to her knees

The world began to spin around her, and her vision blurred, as the blood loss began to effect her

"Oh, vhat irony," Verurteilen said, and then she passed out

[ August 22, 2008, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

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>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted August 22, 2008 01:20 PM<p>

Illyah understood that nobody excused themselves from Vetinari - he excused you at his leisure or you stayed put. Problem was, Illyah was running out time and he had to get to the Watch house and speak with the sergeant if he was going to help Sasha.

"Your Lordship, please, I must go and speak with the Watch. If you like, please make yourself at home - this shouldn't take long."

Illyah grabbed his coat off the rack and backed out of the door.

"Candice can answer any questions you may have...maybe give you a tour of the...oh, well you've probably seen it huh? Maybe Meera could...if you can find her...maybe she could..show you the uh...Have you seen the counting machine my lord?"

With that, Illyah turned and took off down the street to the Watch House. He hoped he could buy them the time they needed to find out more, but just the rooftop should be enough.

He hoped.

[ August 24, 2008, 12:20 PM: Message edited by: Thumpy ]

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>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted August 24, 2008 12:30 PM<p>

Illyah trotted along street to the Watch House, realizing that he had just left the Patrician in a bit of a perplexed state.

He rounded the last corner and could the see the general milling about that goes on whenever more than two officers find themselves with noone to chase or thump.

Slowing down, Illyah tried to slow his breathing and straightened his shirt as best he could.

He saw a cart out front, but couldn't tell if it was the same one; he didn't want to go look right now, knowing that eventually he might have to make an official ID anyway.

There was no need to avert his eyes or keep his head down as he entered the building; not many watchmen would know him on sight anyway. He did it anyway though just in case.

Now if he could just remember where that sergeant had her office...

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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6.5.0 


	10. Chapter 10

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 ... 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Mina Harker

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>posted August 24, 2008 03:33 PM<p>

Meera had looked at the signs of struggle with interest, there was something strange, sure enough.. She pondered this as she made her way back to the tax office. Either someone tried to stop the murderer.. but then why didn't they get killed? ...Or.. Maybe someone was forcing the kill, maybe our murderer was reluctant. Hmmmm...

Mirabell was about to voice her thoughts when Lord Vetinari swept in. I'll wait until he's gone.

When Illyah entioned her name Meera emerged from the shadows. "M'lord" she said respectfully before melting back into the background again.

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Jake Member Member # 5102

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>posted August 24, 2008 03:55 PM<p>

The patrician said nothing as Illyah gabbled or indeed as he disappeared. Drumknot handed him a cup of tea and for a long moment he sat looking at the remaining tax officiers. If their Boss's exit had perturbed him in any way, he did not show it, just sat calmly sipping his tea. Finally he put the cup down and cleared his throat.

"Well it would appear that there has been some foul play, I do hope that this will not effect your collections for today. Afterall, when they try to kill you, that's when you know you are doing well, or at least that is what Mr Vimes would have me believe. Please however, keep the casualties to a minimum, it reflects badly if my staff are picked off one by one."

Standing lord Vetinari walked towards the entrance to hte tax office.

"I will not keep you, I am sure that you are all anxious to get back to your duties, please send Mr Kuryakin with an update when he is free...there is...no rush. Also, a parting piece of advice, if Mr Spree's killing was related to his dealings within the tax office, his killers still have four more grudges to deal with. Good day."

With that he walked out of the office, closely followed, as always, by Drumknot.

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Jeannie

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>posted August 26, 2008 02:17 PM<p>

Sasha had watched with horror as Illyah had excused himself and hurried out leaving the rest of them to hear what his Lordship had to say.

Sasha hadn't said much whilst Vetinari was in the office, she had heard that saying the wrong thing to the Patrician could have most unwelcome consequences. Once he had gone though she looked at the others and raised her eyebrows

"Well, what a comforting thought that is. Well I don't know about you ladies but I'm not going out there collecting taxes when there might be a crossbow bolt with my name on it. I say we wait for the boss"

Swinging her legs as she sat on her desk Sasha bit her lip thoughtfully

"So any thoughts on what we know so far?"

[ August 26, 2008, 05:46 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Jock

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>posted August 26, 2008 04:26 PM<p>

Kayla wlked out into the corridor and into another man who semed to be looking in completely the opposite direction to that which he was walking. After a breif moment of indecision, in which the number of arms and legs still belongng to each party was in question,Kayla straightened her self up and held out her hand to the dazed man, her apology coming out in a rush.

"I'm terribly sorry I'm a little dizzy still from walking into that troll do you want a hand up?"...

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted August 27, 2008 01:10 PM<p>

"That would be helpful, yes please."

Illyah had worked in this Watch House for years...at times like this he wished he had paid more attention to his surroundings.

"I'm uh...what happened to your...hand?"

The wound still looked fresh and the fact that she wasn't screaming in pain told Illyah a lot about this person.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Mina Harker

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>posted August 27, 2008 04:53 PM<p>

Mirabell relaxed a bit when Vetinari left.

"Well I don't know, but why was there a struggle? Um.. I thought maybe someone might have been trying to fight the killer, but surely somone would have won the fight? There weren't any dead bodies there... So I thought, maybe, that someone was trying to force our killer to kill, I mean maybe they didn't want to? I don't know..." Said Meera as she tried to answer Sasha's question. "It definitely wasn't the assassin's guild anyway, and I don't think it was any other guild because they would surely use official assassins?"

She melted back into the shadows again due to a mixture of habit and embarassment: Mirabell wasn't used to being so conspicuous.

[ August 27, 2008, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Mina Harker ]

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Jake Member Member # 5102

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>posted August 28, 2008 03:32 AM<p>

Despite the door to the tax office being open, there was a knock on it and a voice talking to someone clearly close behind it.

There, that must have been where he died, can we get a picture of that?

The disembodied voice came into the tax office and resolved itself into the form of a young lady dressed in what, she no doubt thought, was a respectable manner.

Is this the tax office?

When no answer was forth coming she took out a small notebook and smiled, with a greater certainty that she felt.

I m Sacarissa Cripslock from the Ankh-Morpork Times. We ve been informed that there was a murder here this morning.

From behind Sacarissa there was a blinding flash, a cut of curse and then a voice saying.

it s alright, I am okay.

Looking back at the occupants of the room, her pen poised over the notebook she continued.

We saw Vetinari s coach leaving the tax office and were wondering if you d like to make any comments on the murder. We have been led to believe the victim was a

She paused and flicked through her notes.

Mr Nathan Spree and that he, along with a few of you, had just started working for the newly formed, and not very popular, tax office. Could you tell us anything about him? We haven t got much else to go on I m afraid. What are your feelings about the matter?

Sacarissa looked around the room expectantly.

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Jock

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>posted August 28, 2008 04:14 AM<p>

Kayla offered out her good hand and pulled the man to his feet. He looked embarrased as he asked the question, and she could see him makng a conscious effort not to look at her stump.

"Oh... erm... it's a long story. I had a bit of a dissagreement with a butcher..." Kayla had been trying to forget, but she was begining to realise that it was probably going to be the first question anyone would ask when they met her.

Ed snuck up behind her and grabbed hold of er shoulder, making her jump.

"Who's this? Are you playin' fun o' my Kay?" Kayla had noticed a definite protective streak in her companion.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted August 28, 2008 06:02 AM<p>

"Sorry, I'm Illyah...er, Kuryakin. I'm with the Wat- the Tax Office."

He felt the need to explain more, although he wasn't sure why.

"I'm here to see one of the sergeants, trouble is I can't remember where her office is. Excuse me a second..."

He walked up to the desk and made a quick inquiry. The officer hadn't bothered looking up while answering, and that was okay with Illyah.

Returning to the young lady, Illyah took her to a quiet corner and pressed a five dollar coin into her hand.

"Can you do me favor? I have to talk to this sergeant...I'm not sure how things are going to go. Wait about five minutes and then come get me, okay? Make up a story...anything. Can you do it?

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

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>posted August 28, 2008 09:27 AM<p>

Kayla looke dumbfounded at the money for a moment before stammering an answer.

"O...of course. Five minutes... Right... Gotcha"

what on Disc would I have to say to someone like him?

Kayla left the problem for now and simply followed him so she would know which door to burst in on when the time came.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Jeannie

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>posted August 28, 2008 05:30 PM<p>

Sasha turned at the knock on the door, she had been wondering if today could get any worse and apparantly it could.

She greeted Sacharissa with a scowl and stood up from her seated position on the desk, her hair fell wildly around her face and she brushed it back impatiently.

"What do you think our feelings are about the matter? Turning up to work to see a collegue get shot dosn't exactly fill a person with happy happy joy joy feelings"

Taking a deep breath Sasha stopped herself, ranting at someone with a notebook who was going to quote everything that was said was not really the best of approaches. Taking a moment to get into character Sasha rubbed her face with her hands and feined an apologetic expression

"I'm sorry, as I'm sure you can understand this morning has been rather stressful."

Sacharissa nodded, pen stilled poised. "Of course"  
>Her face was full of sympathy but her eyes full of a journalistic hunger that begged for Sasha to continue<p>

Sasha flopped into her chair and sighed

"Mr Spree is...I mean, was a remarkable person. His loss is a terrible blow for the department and for his collegues."

Trying to ignore the scratching of the pen on paper as she spoke Sasha continued

"He will be greatly missed, however we take our job very seriously and such threats shall not divert us from our task. The new Tax Office may be 'unpopular' however it is a nessecary cog in the machine that is this city. The revenue that shall be acumulated will be re-invested into the city thus improving the quality of life for it's citizens."

Damn I'm good at blagging

Covering her eyes with her hand Sasha faked a sob "I'm sorry...It's just all so horrific"

Sacharissa finished her hasty writing and nodded "Of course, I understand. We'll be on our way as soon as we are done. Otto, can you get a picture of the chalk..."

Sasha stood up again, this time her emotion wasn't an act. She was facing a murder charge, sat in the same room where Nathan had died and these people had just barged in expecting to be given the scoop on what had happened...and they had a damn iconographer, after all her careful work to ensure she didn't appear in the papers. Her temper began to boil

"That is enough! A man died here barely more than two hours ago. The least you vultures could do is allow a little time before picking at the carcass. What on the disc do you think gives you the right to..."

Sacharissa gave a wan smile

"The free press. The people have a right to..."

"Get out!"

Jeannie had barely been back in her office for more than a few minutes when there was knock on her door. Glancing at the clock Jeannie pushed her paperwork into something that resmebled a pile and sat back in her chair

"Come in"

[ August 28, 2008, 05:53 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted August 29, 2008 01:10 PM<p>

Illyah entered the office and closed the door behind him; he began talking immediately.

"Sergeant, I know you have a job to do and trust me, I don't want to interfere with your investigation...but Sasha had nothing to do with what happened this morning. In fact, I told her to wait for me while I discussed this with you."

He kept going, not even waiting for her to respond.

"I know, I know how this looks, I really do...if I had come across the scene as you saw it, I might be led astray as well."

Are those chocolates on her desk?

Illyah absentmindedly reached a hand out and palmed one of the sweets.

"What if you were able to recreate the scene? What if we...er, you, set up the murder as it happened - instead of they way you saw it minutes later?"

Look at that ink well! She didn't get that on a coppers salary!

Illyah lifted the ink well and turned it around, admiring the artwork.

"Yes, that is a nice one. Anyway, what I propose is simply looking at two things...just two. First, the arrow and the angle of impact. Second, the place the arrow was fired from. I think you might find that it came from, oh...say...a nearby roof top? Maybe?"

You're about as subtle as a hammer, you know that?

"I know."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jock

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>posted August 29, 2008 03:44 PM<p>

"What on earth am I supposed to say? He is a gentleman, and I am not even a scullery maid."

"Nope, yer a messenger."

"A what?"

"Yeh know, a go-between, a running man, pickin' up a few coppers 'ere an' there by takin' unimpor'an' messages fer impor'an' people."

"But this is not a few coppers, this is five dollars!"

"Same pr'nc'ple, trus' me"

"Ok... but what do I say?"

"Well..."

"Exactly. I don't even know who he knows or where he comes from. All I have so far is 'Mr Kuryakin' and that is not sufficient."

"I could go an' find a bi' abou' 'im..."

"In five minutes? That's barely enough time to walk across the watch house and back. And I don't believe you're that good."

"Well... all business men, an' 'e looks like a business man, 'ave 'ired 'elp. 'E could 'ave a secretry or sumfin' tha' wants 'im..."

"Yeah... What did he say he was?"

"Tax Officer."

"And... what do we know about Tax Officers?"

"Nuffin'"

"Bugger."

"We could 'have 'im ou' wiv an emergency or sumfin', sumfin' that needs 'is attentions, an' 'is attentions alone."

"Like...?"

"I dunno, yous is the one 'e gave the job to, so yous think up an answer. 'tain't my problem."

"But if you come too it could be your money."

There was a significant pause while Ed considered this.

"So wha' woul' a secretry 'ave to say tha' was urgen'-like..."

[ August 29, 2008, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: Jock ]

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

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>posted August 30, 2008 11:01 AM<p>

Sacharissa took a step back from the wild hair that seemed to expand wit hthe volume of Sahsa's voice. Still she was a journalist, this was her job and she had been scribbling the whole time.

"So you are taking this as a threat to hte Tax office in general then? has there been any protection arranged for the remainder of you?"

She flicked through her notes.

"Also, would you mind telling us a bit more about Mr Spree, all we've managed to find out is that he lives in Ankh-Morpork and now he is dead, there is a great big gap inbetween in our informaiton."

She looked hopefully despite what Sasha had just said, she was persistent, she would get to the truth.

Angua rubbed her temples, this was a complete mess. Mr Vimes had been taken, with the Patrician, to the palace, where they were going to have a "chat". It seemed the larger the watch got the more work they ahd to do and although Nathan Spree had not been the straightest arrow in the quiver, in Ankh-Morpork, who was? except carrot of course. It had been clear to everyone that trying to separate Ankh-Morpork citizens from their cash was a bad idea, Anuga was surprised it had taken this long to kick off. Before she had finished he train of thought, she found herself outside the door she was looking for. She looked down and saw a girl, a boy standing behind her. The girl's lack of a hand made Angua frown, but right now she coudln't ask any questions. Knocking on Jeannie's door she waited a moment and then walked in.

Stopping she took in Kuryakin.

"Illyah." she said nodding to the former watch officer, supplies, perhaps, but he had been part of the watch.

"Sargeant, I'd like a word with you when you're finished."

After giving Illyah another nod, she closed the door to let them finish their conversation.

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Jeannie

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>posted August 30, 2008 03:44 PM<p>

"What else do you need to know about him? He lived in Ankh Morpork and is now dead and the only great big gap I can see is the one between your ears! I told you to get out. I'm not saying another word about it."

Folding her arms she perched herself back on the edge of her desk refusing to answer any of the womans questions by simply sitting silently. Her jaw visbly tightend as the reporter fired off a few more questions but Sasha refused to even meet her gaze.

Sashas indignant expression was suddenly lit up in a flash of eye piercing light. Blinking the purple dots from her eyes she thought she heard a muffled curse from the direction of the iconographer. When she could finally focus again she glared at him

"Did you just take my picture? You can't print that!"

Jeannie didn't have the chance to even greet Illyah before he had closed the door and began speaking. Occasionly she opened her mouth to try to interject but was unable to actually get a word in edgeways. Her eyes narowed as she saw him take a chocolate, reaching out she pulled the box away and closed the lid. The box of Weinrich and Boettcher finest confections had been a gift that she was not willing to share

"Leave those alone..." Illyah carried on before she could get any further, so she sat back and waited until he had finished Plucking the inkwell from his hands she stood up, looking warily at the apparantly vacant space next to him. Who was he talking to? Filing that question away for another time Jeannie put her inkwell back down on her desk

"Have you finished? Right..." she took a deep breath " Mr Kuryakin, there is one thing we both agree on. I don't believe anymore than you do that Sasha Vine is responsible for murdering Nathan Spree. However due to the nature of the circumstances surrounding the incident my colleague Corporal Hodges does have every right to bring her in for questioning. I assure you that the next item on my agenda is to personally check out the area around the tax office, and if there are any clues I'll sniff them out"  
>A small smile touched her lips, there was a knock at the door and Angua came in. Jeannie nodded to indicate she would come once she was finished here.<p>

"Now Illyah, I would also reccomend that Sasha dosn't take too long to get here. The sooner she comes in the sooner we can clear this up"  
>She walked over to the door and held it open, a polite yet clear sign that this meeting was over. "Thankyou for coming, your concern for your employees is a rare thing in this city. I'll keep you informed of any developments. Now, if you'll excuse me I have alot to do this morning if we want to get to the bottom of this."<br>Shutting her office behind them Jeannie nodded a farewell to Illyah and went to find Angua. This was easier for Jeanie than for most officers, all she had to do was follow the scent trail. Angua had gone back to her office, Jeannie knocked on the door

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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	11. Chapter 11

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Jump to new posts Hello, Mrs Wizzard [ log out ] Terry Pratchett Message Board General Discussions Sator Square A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG (Page 24)

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Member Member # 5653

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>posted August 31, 2008 06:57 AM<p>

"Ok, so there's bin a break in?"

"NO! It can't be anything that might involve the watch... that'd defeat the purpose of the exrecise."

Ed was about to reply when the door opposite opened and out walked Illyah and the watch officer. The officer walked away leaving the Tax Man behind, staring a little vacantly at Kayla abd Ed. Ed leaned over to Kayla and whispered in her ear.

"Does this mean we ain't gettin' pay?"

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted August 31, 2008 02:02 PM<p>

Sacharissa aware that she was getting nowhere with Sasha and happy that she had everything she wanted, turned to Candice who had been unusually quiet compared to her usual self when she was in front of a notepad and camera.

"And how about you Miss Candice, I hear that you are working here to pay off a debt to the city? How does your father feel about that? Who do you think Illed Mr Spree?"

Sacharissa felt Sahsa's on her and she turned, feeling slihglty annoyed, but doing her best to keep her tone polite.

"Miss Vine, I am aware that you find our presence here...unpalatable...but the people have a right to know what is occurring within their government, especially when yo uare going around asking them for money. As far as I am aware there is no law about entering the tax office, nor is it considered private property as it is a civic building, we are in business hours are we not?"

The question asked, she turned back to Candice, her pen poised.

Angua stood as Jeannie entered the room, realising something she went to the door and opened it again.

"Mr Kuryakin, could you please wait out there for a few minutes before going back to the tax office?"

Closing the door again she moved back to the desk, she did not sit down, nor did she offer Jeannie a seat.

"I'll try and be brief Sargeant. Mr Vimes has gone wit hthe Patrician for one of their chats, I think it's about this murder, at least in part. I odn't think it looks good for a newly appointed governemnt official to have been shot, whatever peoples' personal opnion about his dealings were."

She placed "The Bolt" on the table.

"Luckily it's a steal bolt, but still not going to be easy to explain especially if the story goes out with the times. I'd like you to go back with Mr Kuryakin and have a...good look...around the place, see what you can find that someone else might have missed. Take someone with you if you like, but try and find out something. When you're back, come and speak to me and tell me what you've found."

She nodeed to Jeannie and opened the door again.

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted August 31, 2008 09:04 PM<p>

When Verurteilen woke up, she was laying down on her side, still in the alley way, sitting up, she waited for the pain to return, only to feel both surprised and relieved when she was greeted by a blissful numbness in her foot

It must have bled enough to lose all feeling, but that was another problem, for as soon as Verurteilen realised this, the smell of her own dried blood filled her nostrils, and her stomach gave way

Coughing, she spat the bile, and swallowed gulps of air, before she could bring herself in to a sitting position, and cleared her mind, she knew that she had to get as far away from the watch house as possible, and had to mend her wound before she could move with out opening it, again

Looking up, she saw a clothesline connecting the two buildings, taking out her blade, she took careful aim, and tossed it up wards, cuttiing through the line, and an old white shirt floated to the ground beside her

Carefully, she took off her boot, and saw just how much of a mess her foot was, using the shirt, she cleaned off some of the dried blood, and then tore a strip of cloth from the bottom, and tied it carefully around her wound

Replacing the boot on her numb foot, Verurteilen gripped the stone wall, and stood up, she tested her foot, she could move it, but she could not feel where it fell

Deciding that leaping across the roof tops was out of the question until her foot could heal properly, Verurteilen lurched out of the cold alley way, and pulled the brim of her hat to cover her eyes, so that the sun light would not worsen her head ache

Doing her best not to look suspicious, Verurteilen slowly walked down the crowded street

[ August 31, 2008, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted September 01, 2008 07:28 AM<p>

Candice snapped out of her alcohol induced daze when Sacharissa asked her a question.

"It was time for me to get a job, and my father supports me completely in this. As for Nathan..its horrible what happened but i didnt really know him, so there is no one i can think of who wanted him dead."

Candice suddently remembered something from the day before, but kept quiet, waiting for Sacharissa to leave.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 01, 2008 02:56 PM<p>

Sasha shrugged at Sacharissa "No, I don't find your presence here 'unpalatable', I find it downright intrusive and insensitive."

And refusing to utter another word Sasha stood from her desk and walked around it. Sitting down in her seat she pulled out her chair, sat down rustled through a small stack of papers that had found their way onto the desk and busied herself with some actual work. Anything was better than facing the notepad that Sacharissa was brandishing. Working in silence she listened to the exchange between Candice and the reporter mumbling the odd comment quiet enough that Sacharisa couldn't actually hear what she was saying but with enough volume for the woman to know that she was been grumbled at

Jeannie nodded to Angua. "Actually sergeant, that was exactly what I was intending to do once Mr Kuryakin had finished his business here. I won't take anyone, it's easier to...search, alone"

She glanced at the crimson flecked steel bolt "I don't think the concern is if the story goes out with the Times, I would guess it's more a question of when it goes out. Todays issue will be bad enough but tomorrows...well, let's just say I don't want to be the one at the press conference"

She turned towards the open door "If that's all, I've got alot to do. I'll let you know when I get back."

Leaving Anguas office Jeannie nodded to Illyah

"Mr Kuryakin, perhaps you would like to show me where this rooftop is. The one I'm sure you havn't actually been to seeing as it's a potential crime scene"

The look in her eyes showed that she knew damn well that he knew she was going to find somthing when she went up there, but Jeannie had talents that most other officers didn't. She should be able to pick out the right pieces and fit them together, all she needed was her nose

Gesturing down the corridor Jeannie nodded to Illyah and grinned "Well, let's not waste any time. The sooner we sort this mess out the sooner you can get back to annoying every Guild in the city"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted September 02, 2008 05:44 AM<p>

Illyah looked over to Kayla when she spoke, and thought for a second...

"No, no - keep it. Consider it a retainer. In fact," he whispered, "if you would run over to the Tax Office and let my associates know that I'll be along soon - I'd appreciate it."

He hoped the others would take it for what it was and not be too available when he returned with the sergeant.

He begab the walk back to the office with the sergeant and tried to take his time about it.

"I uh...only mentioned the roof top because of the...er, angle of the shot. Unless the attacker was a giant, the shot would be impossible otherwise."

Another thought intruded on him.  
>What about Nathan? Would anybody come to claim him? There had to be a funeral of sorts, right?<p>

Getting all sentimental are we?

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted September 06, 2008 01:13 PM<p>

"ok... sure"

Kayla grabbed hold of Ed and plunged out of the door behind Illyah, overtaking him on the way out into the street.

"now, which way to the tax office?"

"'ow should I know, yer the one tha' ran ou' o' the room afore even ge'in' directions!"

"fair play" admitted Kayla Meekly, and headed back inside to head off Mr Kuryakin.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 08, 2008 03:04 AM<p>

Sasha frowned, deep in thought but not thinking about the columes of figures that swarmed over the paper infront of her. Her mind was trying to fit the pieces of this mystery together, but having the two press people in the office was severly hampering her concentration so with a frustrated grunt she stood up

"The air in here strinks, I'm going outside for some fresh air"

And walking around her desk she headed towards the door, deliberatly skirting around the outline of where Nathans corpse had lay. This brought her over by Candice and Meera, a sound made her turn and she saw the iconographer raise his contraption

"Oh no you don't!..." *click* "...oh bugger"

Too late were Sashas protests as all three ladies were caught in a flash of light, again there was a muffled 'oomph' from the direction of the man but there were too many dancing coloured dots infront of Sashas eyes for her to see what was happening, although before the blinding flash Sasha had had time to notice how Candice reacted instinctivly to the sound of the camera with a dazzling grin and Meera had managed to stay blended in the shadows.

"Okay that does it, I'm outta here!"

And with that Sasha stomped past the dazed looking iconographer and the incessantly persistant reporter and slammed the office door behind her to further make her point. Feeling better already Sasha looked up and down the street, brushing back her hair as it flopped in her face

Wonder if the boss'll be back soon?

Jeannie walked alongside Illyah

"I'll check the rooftops first, then we'll see where that leads and go from there. I have a feeling this case is going to turn out very differently than everyones expects at this moment in time"

She noticed how Illyah, despite his insistence that she check out the crime scene, was deliberatly keeping their pace checked. She grinned, having enhanced senses could be pretty darn useful sometimes

"You know, I think your little messenger will have had time to get directions and get ahead of us by now. I'm pretty sure your associates will know I'm on the way"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted September 08, 2008 04:35 AM<p>

Candice always seemed to know where an iconograph was, and smiled in its direction just as Sasha made her protest. Then the picture was done, and Sasha stalked off.

Candice paused for a moment, then ran in the same direction as her.

"I noticed something odd regarding NAthan earlier and i dont know if its relevant or useful but the guy on the door at the merchants guild seemed to recognise him" she said quickly, knowing that sasha didnt like her an would ignore her if she could. "I didnt really know who else to tell..." she finished, lamely.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted September 11, 2008 10:13 AM<p>

Illyah tried his best to keep the sergeant occupied long enough...

"No, surely not Sergeant! I know better than to interfere in Watch business. I was merely thinking that the shot would have come from one of the rooftops...and...er-"

It was useless. Illyah wasn't very good at keeping secrets or lying. That was one reason he had joined the Watch in the first place; a life of crime would not have agreed with him at all.

As they reached the street in front of the tax office, he pointed to one building in particular.

"I'm guessing the arrow came from there. It would have been a clean line of sight and since most citizens walk with their eyes focused on the ground, the assassin would have been nearly invisible. More so than usual."

Approaching the boarded up windows, Illyah looked sheepishly at the sergeant.

"That window should be easiest to get through." Then he added as an after thought, "Watch out for the rats."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 14, 2008 04:09 AM<p>

Sasha jumped when Candice appreared behind her,

"The guy at the merchants guild? "

She frowned and twiddled with a lock of hair as she thought about this.

"You know, there's a helluvalot about Nathan that we don't know. It sounds like there are plenty of people who could have had something to do with the shooting. Maybe we should take another look at...hey the boss is coming back, wonder if he's got me off the hook"

Further down the street Sasha had spotted Illyah walking back towards them, her grin faded when she saw who was accompanying him

"It's that officer again" Sasha looked and Candice and shrugged "Do you ever have one of those days where you wish you hadn't even got out of bed?"

Jeannie walked with Illyah nodding at what he was saying, she saw Sasha Vine and the Meehan girl stood outside the door to the Tax office and gave a curt nod in their direction. Illyah directed Jeannie to a delapadated building just opposite from where the office was situated.

"Rats huh? Okay then Illyah, I'll head up there and see what I can find. May I suggest that you and your staff wait in your offices. I'll return there once I'm finished"

Jeannie checked the building for an entry point and found a recently forced window, she gave a small smile, that must have been the work of Sasha Vine. As she pulled herself through for a moment she thought the floor was moving until the stink hit her. Aha, of course, the rats. The floor was crawling with them. A few of them stopped when her boots touched the floor and began to hiss and chatter, their incisors flashing. Jeannie let out a deep throaty growl and stepped forward. The rats recognised a predator when they saw one and after a flurry of fur and the scrabbling of claws the floor was soon clear as the rats sought out refuge from this strange intruder. Jeannie made her way up through the house, and pulled herself up through the window that led to the rooftop. Once on the roof Jeannie stood for a moment and assessed what she could see. A smell hit her sensitive nose immediatly, the scent of blood. Taking in the blood spots and scuff marks she looked over at the Tax Office, of course this position provided a perfectly clear line of fire to where Nathan Spree would have been stood. There were a jumble of scents up here, she needed to pick them apart. Finding a small niche Jeannie stepped out of view, after a few moments she padded back out, her claws making a click-clack on the roof tiles. Keeping her nose low Jeannie began to sniff around

Below on the streets, Sasha raised a hand in greeting to Illyah

"Hey boss, um...before you go inside you ought to know we have been invaded...by the Press"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted September 14, 2008 05:49 AM<p>

Kayla had spotted Illyah and the watch officer making their way down the street, but by the time she had caught up with then the watch officer had departed, leaving Illyah outside a smart looking building with a chalk outline just visible through the doorway. Kayla slowed to catch her breath, her fast beating heart causing her wrist to throb, and Kayla pressed it against the side of her shirt, willing it not to start bleeding again. Ed behind her she waked guiltily up to Illyah...

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted September 14, 2008 01:22 PM<p>

Illyah wasn't in the mood really to deal with the press; he'd never had to actually speak with a reporter before, and he wasn't sure he wanted to start now.

Seeing Kayla walk up behind him, Illyah realized he should have given her directions to the office. One thing at a time though..

"Sasha, do me a favor huh? Take Miss Kayla and introduce her to our...er...office. Please. I'll go have a word with the press."

Although he had never spoken to her directly, Illyah knew who Sacharissa Cripslock was just from hearing name being shouted around the Watch House. It was Vimes that normally did the shouting...

Walking into the building, he greeted her with the best smile he could muster and quickly led her away from the rest of the staff.

"Miss Criplsock, I will be more than happy to answer any questions that I can. Please keep in mind though that I probably know as much as you do at this point."

Nah. I think she knows waayyy more than you do buddy.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted September 14, 2008 02:08 PM<p>

Verurteilen's breathing was uneven as she limped through the streets, not sure where she was now headed

The numbness of her still healing foot had descended upon her in a blissful pink cloud, and she felt exhausted, the only thing keeping her alert was the gentle brushing of her ponytail on the back of her neck

As she passed by an open alley way, she felt a familiar prescence, and she turned to see the hunched over figure of a woman

"Mauria," Verurteilen hissed, unsurprised by the appearence of the werewolf, the woman looked up, her hair was now a ragged mess, and her eyes had changed, one was still the deep dark brown of a wolf, but the other seemed to be trying to make up its mind between the normal colour, and the steely silver of a vampire, but they both shared a haunted expression

A few moments passed by, before the werewolf's brain recognised the vampire standing before her, and she lunged out, growling, and her fangs bared

"Down, girl," Verurteilen said, effortlessly pushing the tortured woman back down

"What is happening to me?" Mauria barked, her voice as wild as her eyes

"Calm yourself," Verurteilen ordered, before continuing, "vhen a human is bitten by a vampire, zeir human side vill easily fall in to submission, and ze vampire's power vill take over, however, vhen a verevolf is bitten, it is too stubborn to give up, and ze two sides vill fight for control of ze body" Verurteilen's voice grew darker, as this dawned on Mauria, "in ze end, vone vill vin over, vut who knows how long zat could take?"

"What kind of a person would give such a future to someone?" Mauria mumbled, hopelessly

"Ze same kind of a person who vould force someone to commit a murder," Verurteilen answered, "speaking of vhich, vhere did you dispose of your boy friend's body? Not even you vould be careless enough to leave him zere for ze crows"

Mauria growled, and stared ice at Verurteilen

"He is buried under the floor boards of the abandoned building, where the rats would not be able to get to him" Verurteilen simply nodded, and then turned to leave

"Verurteilen," she turned Mauria's call, "what lead you now to this life?"

Verurteilen thought for a moment, before answering, "I had an abusive childhood," and with that, she continued on her way

[ September 14, 2008, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted September 17, 2008 11:26 AM<p>

"I assure you Miss Cripslock, I don't know anything about Nathan's past. He literally just started working with me a couple of days ago."

Illyah got the feeling that he was finally beginning to understand what it was like to be interrogated.

"No Miss Cripslock, he didn't just appear out of, excuse me? No, I will not call you Sacharissa. Listen, this team was assembled by Vetinari, or at the very least, by someone appointed by him. Now, I can only tell you about the last two days really...anything before that and you'll have to go to the big man himself."

Illyah stood and directed Cripslock to the front door, managing to herd her iconographer along as well.

"I really have to be getting back to work now. If you'll be so good as to close the door on the way out."

Turning back to the others, he said simply, "Okay. Now what?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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	12. Chapter 12

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 ... 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 19, 2008 04:45 PM<p>

Her nose only a couple of inches from the weather worn tiles, Jeannie padded up and down sniffing. The plethora of scents that hit her nose formed a chaotic picture of colours in her mind but it was an easy enough task to pick those colours apart, and work out what had happened here. Her nose delivered the scents to her brain

Blood...human...blood...werewolf...blood...vampire...

Although Jeannie managed to pick up the scents of the people who had been on the roof...and she would have a word with Sasha Vine, Illyah and the assassine girl Meera about disturbing a crime scene...one scent in particular cut through them all. The scent of blood went back inside the house, although there was no visible trail. Someone must have tried to wipe it away. Jeannie followed that wonderfully tempting trail down to the first room where she had entered the house. The rats were making themselves scarce, but amongst the stink of urine and musk rose another smell. One her human shaped nose had missed. Finding the right spot on the floor Jeannie changed back to her human shape and set to work...

...a little while later Jeannie emerged from the house human shaped and dressed. She headed to the door of the Tax office, her expresssion un-readable

-  
>Nodding at Illyahs instruction Sasha gestured for Kayla to follow her into the office<p>

"Hey there, Mrs Berger treatin' you okay?...hi Ed, you looking after our newest addition?... anyway as you can see this is the Tax Office. We take people's money and they can't do anything about it then we..."

Sasha's banter faded as she lead the two kids into the office and introduced them to the staff. All talk stopped though whe Illyah stepped inside and ejected the accursed press from the office. Sasha gave a short round of applause

"Well done boss, no room for news hounds in here"

At Illyahs next question Sasha thought for a minute. The resounding sound of a knock on the door boomed around the office, Sasha rolled her eyes

"You know when they say there's no peace for the wicked? Well I'm starting to wonder..."

[ September 20, 2008, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted September 21, 2008 01:34 PM<p>

Illyah let his shoulders slump; his head fell forward and he trudged towards the door.

"Yes? Now who is it?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 22, 2008 02:40 PM<p>

"It's Sergeant Jeannie...and there's no need for that tone of voice"

Jeannies answer was slightly muffled through the closed office door. She entered the office and nodded to Illyah

"I've checked out the scene which you suggested. There were several things there which have shed a whole new light on this case. Unfortunatly there were also traces of Miss Vines presence there so..." Jeannie turned to Sasha "...I'm afraid I've come to escort you to the Yard"

Sasha looked wildly around the office, perhaps there was a here to unnoticed escape route by which she could make a spirited getaway away from the city...but her brain reminded her of the small matter of Vetinari's 'promise' in the letters she had recieved. So slumping forward, hidden behind a veil of hair Sasha sighed and held out her wrists

"Fine. I know the drill. Just slap on the irons and get on with it then will ya."

Jeannie rolled her eyes and shook her head

"I don't think we need to go that far...as long as you co-operate" The not so hidden warning didn't go un-noticed. Sasha straightened up and tossed her hair back out of her face

"Okay, I'll be a good girl we please just get this over with?"

Sasha looked at Illyah and gave a half grin accompanied with a shrug "Thanks for your help boss, you know where I'll be if you need me. oh and Candice..."

Sasha tossed back the mirror she had 'borrowed' yesterday

"...No hard feelings eh?"

And with that Jeannie led Sasha out of the office

A few hours later Sasha sat with her head against the desk infront of her, gritting her teeth at the sound of the idiot corporals voice. The sergeant had brought her to the yard then gone after handing her over to this idiot for questioning

"...so you have been placed at the scene of the crime, you had the victims blood on your hands and your fingerprints were on the bolt that killed him. Yet you still protest your innocence?"

A muffled voice came from the mass of hair that trailed over the desk as it lifted slightly

"For the tenth time...Yes!"

She could almost hear the smirk in his voice as Corporal Hodges sat back triumphantly in his chair

"Full marks for sheet stubborness Miss Vine but the truth will always win"

there was a dull thump as Sasha dropped her head back onto the desk

There was a knock on Jeannie office door, after a moments pause Sergeant Angua entered and closed the door behind nodding to Jeannie

"I hear that we have a suspect in for what did you find?"

Jeannie was sat on her chair with her feet on her desk. She had been frowning in concentration when Angua had entered...either that or the window had done somthing to really annoy her. Now she blinked as she rose from her thoughts

"I found plenty, it's just a case of putting it in the right order..."

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted September 22, 2008 06:36 PM<p>

Zat idiot of a voman! Verurteilen thought as she walked as quickly as her foot would allow her to, even being bitten by a vampire could not keep her from acting like a dog!

She knew what she had to do, now, find the body, and dispose of it properly, she knew that the watch was sure to find it, or if fate was really not on her side, they probably already had

The werewolves in the watch were sure to find her scent if this was not the last time they were going to be there, so Verurteilen searched the market stalls in Sator Square until she found what she was looking for, an herb stand, which was run by an elderly woman, appearing to be from Lancre, wasting no time, she shoved more than the stands whole worth in to the old woman's hand, and made off with a bag of powdered mushrooms

Finding a dark spot, where she would defineately not be seen, Verurteilen removed her right boot, and made a hole in the bottom of the heel with her blade, upended the bag and allowed its contents to fill the bottom of the boot, and placed it back on to her foot

It was not long before Verurteilen had found her way back to the scene of the crime, the reporters seemed to have back off a little bit. but there were still a few curious wanderers clinging around the edges of the scene

Believing it to be unwise to go inside of the building now, with all of these witnesses, Verurteilen wandered around the small crowd, each step she took covering her scent with the powdered mushrooms in her boot, and feigned genuine curiousity at the site of the outline of a body in chalk on the ground

It was easy to weed out the werewolves in the group, their faces twisting up in disgust at both the scent of mushrooms, and Verurteilen's very presence, but her eyes stayed focused on the building, weighing her chances of the body still being hidden beneath the old rat infested floor boards, undiscovered

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 23, 2008 01:23 PM<p>

"So let me get this straight. We have scents of a human, a werewolf and a vampire? There are also scents of three of the tax office staff and a body under the floorboards of the house where the shooter was?"

Angua frowned in thought as Jeannie answered her with a nod "Okay so give me your opinion. What did your nose see?"

To anyone else that might have seemed like a most bizarre question, if they didn't know that these two women were the much rumoured watch werewolves. Jeannie took a chocolate from the box on her desk and bit into it whilst reflecting on her theory, seeing Angua glance hopefully at the box Jeannie smiled and shoved the box towards her

"Okay, but only one"

Angua grinned and helped herself, not bothering to check the little card that described each chocolate. With Weinrich & Boettcher every chocolate was guaranteed have you salivating at a merest sniff of one

There was a chocolate filled moment of blissful silence in the office as Angua and Jeannie both savoured the almost sinfully pleasurable chocolates. Finally, snapping out of the cream and cocoa induced daze Jeannie sat forward and began to speak

"From what I could see the first scents on that roof top were the vampire, the werewolf and the human who I found dead under the floor. Judging by the position of the trails the shooter was the vampire. From what I can tell there was a struggle between the three of them. I think the vampire killed the human but it was the werewolf's scent that was all over the floorboards. Then there are the scents of Sasha Vine, Illyah Kuryakin and the assassin girl Meera. Those scents were only about an hour old so I'm guessing that they performed their own investigation before Illyah came here"

"If that's the case then why is Sasha Vine in questioning?"

"To keep her out of the way, Hodges has got her back up by accusing her of shooting Nathan Spree. She won't leave this alone as long as the finger is being pointed at her. I've already found her scent where the shooting took place, so I've used that as an excuse to get her in here out of the way so I can investigate the real culprit in peace"

Angua nodded "Sneaky, but probably a good idea. She seems like the sort of person who would just make the hole even deeper by trying to dig her way out of this. Any leads on the real shooter?"

"There's not much to go on but whilst Sasha is busy with Hodges I can go back and dig about some more. I'll need a team to close off the house and remove the body too"

How in hells names did this guy ever get to become a watch officer? I've met mushrooms with more brains!

Sasha's internal monologue was interrupted by a hand slapping in triumph onto the table in front of her. She jumped and looked up at the smirking face of Corporal Hodges

"...and that, Miss Vine, is why all the evidence points to you being the killer"

She leant back in her seat and pretended to think this over, from the small grimy window that was set in the wall on her left the sunlight did it's best to filter through. Judging from the light it was late afternoon now, that meant she had been here for hours. Ugh, you had to give this idiot officer full marks for persistence anyway. Finally she shrugged before replying

"Huh, I guess you're right..." The corporals smirk widened "...except for the fact that my colleague Miss Meehan was there when we saw him get shot and can tell you that I most definitely did not shoot him and that I pulled the bolt out, which like I've told you is why I had his blood on my hands"

The Corporal was only temporarily stalled by this news of an eye witness, the almost manic glint in his eyes returned and he nodded

"Aha, so you admit it!"

"Admit what!"

"That Miss Meehan is your accomplice!"

"Arrggghhh! My god you are quite possibly the stupidest most single minded..."

The building opposite the Tax Office was now surrounded by the yellow and black rope that was apparently all the watch needed to seal off a crime scene. Jeannie had never understood why no-one had figured out that a piece of rope wouldn't stop anyone with half the brains of a frog but it was what the watch did so she helped to do it.

Over the next few hours the crime scene was processed and the removal of the body began. Whilst this was happening Jeannie had intended to follow the vampire scent and see what she could find but as the crowd in the street grew the scent found her first, whipping her head around Jeanie tried to source it but before she could pinpoint a location her nose was assaulted by a intense herbal smell and all chance of tracing a scent this afternoon had gone. Damn it, she had been sure the shooter was close. Covering their tracks maybe?

Scanning the crowd Jeannie slowly crossed the street and entered the Tax Office which already had a few watch officers milling around taking notes and measurements, Jeanie nodded offering a smile to Illyah and his employees

"Mr Kuryakin, we have come across some new evidence that will help us find the real culprit. Now, we just need to take secondary statements from you and your staff"

[ September 28, 2008, 02:19 AM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted September 23, 2008 04:02 PM<p>

Motes of dust drifted slowly back to the floor from where they had been disturbed. Shadows had began to lengthen in the dying daylight. The figure was almost inviisble, his outline merging and blurring with the shadows he stood in. He had watched the vampire pull the trigger and kill his investment, he was not pleased and he was not someone who forgot quickly. He had not moved for hours, knowing that the killer would return to this house for the body. He had watched as the werewolf had entered, had seen various watch members come and go, all had ignored him and only the ratsseemed aware of him, giving him a large birth. The figure stood in the only clean spot in the whole of the house and his eyes were trained on Verurteilen. Of course there was no way for her to see him, but she'd certianly discover him when she entered the house. He clenched a gloved fist, she owed him a large refund for her stupidity. Anger began to curl about him, began to boil his blood and his vision blurred red, but closing his eyes, he took a breath and found the calm he had worked so hard to learn to find. Yes, he would certainly have words for that leech.

Corporal Hodges looked at Sasha, they had both been silent for what seemed like hours. He knew he was guilty, but she was a slippery one and anyway, everyone in Ankh-Morpork was guilty of something and so what if it wasn't this crime, she looked shifty. A flash of briliance came to him then.

"Your collegue, who you are claiming as your witenss, had her head on the desk...so..."

He started to think carefully now.

"How could she have seen anything! HAH! didn't think I'd work that one out did you. Explain that Mis Vine, you have on witnesses, fingerprints and the victim's blood on your hands. I can smell the hemp already."

Breathing was getting difficult, almost impossible and his head was swimming. What a great place to be cuaght, right in the middle of The Shades, the gods were really not looking down on her tonight. She stumbled into a wall and only by locking her knees did she stop from sliding slowly down it. She thought she saw light and wondered if this was it, if this was thel ight at the end of the tunnel. Doing her best to focuse however, she realised that it was what looked like a Doctor's surgery. That was strange, a doctor's surgery in The Shades. She did her best to knock, the door was answered prompty by a figure who lookedl ike he needed surgery more urgently than her.

"Yeth mith, can I help you? do you have an appointment for some dental treatment?"

She swayed and clutched the bleeding wound around her shoulder.

"Help Me."

Finally giving up she collapsed and it was only Igor's speed that prevented her from collapsing on the street.

"Mathter, I believe we have a patient."

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted September 23, 2008 05:09 PM<p>

Talbot, who was busy setting out his instruments ready for evening surgery, turned on hearing Igor s call. He ran to the door and peered into the waiting room where he saw Igor, an unconscious figure in his arms and blood trickling onto the floor.

You d better take them to the cellar, Igor. Your bench will be better than a dentist s chair, I think, he said.

Of courthe, Marthter, replied Igor. Holding the figure as if it were as light as a feather, he turned towards a nearby door which Talbot opened, following them down into the depths of the building.

It wasn t often that the dentist ventured down there. Talbot wasn t always sure what Igor got up to in his own time or that he particularly wanted to know. The room was sparsely furnished. There were various items floating eerily in bottles on a shelf and some complicated apparatus on a large table with a green liquid flowing through a series of glass tubes into a flask where it glowed and simmered. In the middle of the room was a long wooden bench onto which Igor laid the unconscious body and immediately started to tend the shoulder wound.

Talbot looked on, feeling suddenly light-headed at the sight of the blood. He leant against the wall trying to keep his composure. No! Not now!

Igor was too busy to notice the change in his master.

[ September 23, 2008, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Tooth Fairy ]

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

Posts: 13421 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2007 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted September 23, 2008 06:52 PM<p>

A watchman finally got around to interviewing Candice, and she was getting a bit annoyed with him.

"Look, i came to work early, found Nathan naked in the office, and then i went and sat down at my desk. While it probably appeared i was sleeping, i was still awake. I heard Sasha come in, then a wooshing noise, and then she was screaming. There wasnt any time for her to hide a crossbow like you're suggesting."

"I think you're covering for her." Constable Dunn was sick of Candices attiude, but had been asking stupid questions.

"Now why would i do that? I dont even like her."

Candice spotted one of her fathers henchmen enter the building, and Constable Dunn bolted at the sight of him. HE still owed Mr MEehan a fair bit of money.

"I've come to take you home. Your father doesnt want you working here anymore."

PArt of Candice was relieved, but another part rebelled. Someone she knew had been murdered in front of her, this place had finally gotten exciting, and she was expected to leave?

"Wait here, i'll just get my stuff."

Candice turned around and dissapeared into the back room, then climbed out the window into the street. She straightened her clothes, pulled out the mirror that Sasha had finally returned to her, and checked her hair, then, on a whim, headed towardds the merchants guild.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

Posts: 936 | From: VIC - Australia | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 25, 2008 04:05 PM<p>

Sasha sat up straight in her seat and leant back on the chair which protested slightly with a groaning creak.

"Actually Mr Clever Watch Officer Sir, I think what you meant to say is that i have no alibi...it's you, the oh-so-wonderful City watch who have no witnesses. So answer me this then, why if I alledgedly used a long range weapon to shoot Nathan would I then approach his body and incriminate myself when I could have just made a clean getaway leaving no traces?"

She just knew it would only take him a matter of minutes to find a reason, however ridiculous, for her to have done just this. Ah, there it was, the slow smug smirk that meant he'd found his way along the path of twisted logic. Before he could offend her ears with yet more of his narrowminded accusations she blurted out

"Motive!"

The Corporals face changed into one of confusion

"I beg you pardon?"

Sasha smirked now, feeling like she was finally beginning to get a handle on this whole farce

"I said Motive. If you think I killed Nathan then you have to prove I had a motive. Well, what was it?"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted September 27, 2008 04:57 AM<p>

Kayla was relieved that nobody seemed to question her being there, and she happily let herself be shepherded into a corner to watch the ins and outs of the Tax office. Ed didn t join her, the sudden increase in people seemed to have immobilised him, and he was looking around with a rabbit-in-stagecoach-lights look. Kayla weaved her way around the desks to get him, when a hand gripped her severed wrist hard. Kayla gasped as she felt the delicate scabs break, and a trickle of blood began to pool on the floor. Kayla looked behind her, only to see a watch officer as the perpetrator.

She managed to gasp out a please let go without screaming, but after that she bit her lip hard with tears forming in her eyes. Once again there were shooting pains going up and down her arm, and the trickle was steadily increasing, and a slight slope on the tax office floor was causing the puddle to stream across the room towards the door.

I am afraid I will need to ask you some questions. Everyone must be interrogated the watchman s voice barely registered in Kayla s ears, although she could barely miss him as his armour was scrubbed up so clean that it dazzled her. Kayla cast about her for some help with this clearly over-keen watchman

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

Posts: 6055 | From: Bath | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted September 28, 2008 01:08 PM<p>

Illyah had had enough. It wasn't like him to let too much get under his skin, but today had started crappy, continued to be crappy and didn't appear to heading toward anything other than a crappy end.

Seeing the Watch officer grab Kayla, he walked up behind the man and rapped on his armor.

"You will let go right now. You will let go right now, and step away from the child!"

Oh, this should be good.

"Shut up!"

Illyah grabbed the officer by the back of the neck and began marching him towards the front door of the office.

Stopping only briefly to address the others, he added, "I don't know what in all of the Dungeon Dimensions is happening right now, but interrogating children in my office WILL NOT HAPPEN!"

Pushing the startled officer out in front of him, Illyah pointed and more or less asked, "Who does this belong to?"

Sasha was at the Watch House; Candice had walked into the back room; Meera had gone all invisible again and Nathan...

"I've been out of the Watch for what...two days? Maybe three? Fine! If this is the way Vimes runs it now, fine! But I don't work for him any longer...my boss is Vetinari! Why don't we get him down here to see all this then?"

And how do you plan to do that?

Illyah hadn't thought that through; he handed Kayla a towel to wrap around her wrist.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 28, 2008 02:05 PM<p>

The act of thinking so hard gave Hodges an almost pained expression. A couple of times he opened his mouth as if to say something then shut it again and carried on thinking. Finally he pointed his finger at her and retorted with

"I don't know!"

Sasha grinned "Nice comeback. Very...basic"

Hodges scowled. The woman was starting to get on his nerves, so he drew himself up and tried to give his voice an icey edge, which in fact made him sound as if he was trying not to break wind

"Your motive is as yet undiscovered, but rest assured that the elite Ankh Morpork Watch will discover it!"

Sasha groaned and slumped in her chair. She had never developed the ability to read minds or to see into the future, nevertheless she would have placed a heavy bet on what was coming next

"The evidence all points to you Miss Vine, and you can't argue with the facts"

"Yes I can, in fact that's what I've been doing all afternoon!"

And so the endless circle of questions continued. Sasha found herself wondering just how many confessions this officer had managed to get from people who had ended up confessing to anything just to get away from this man and his relentless theories. he was like a wolverine, he just didn't give up!

Jeannie was standing outside the Tax office, being briefed by a fellow officer on the final report of what had been found in the old house when Illyah frog-marched a sheepish looking officer out of the office door. Listening to Illyahs fully justified tirade Jeannie glared at the disgraced lance-corporal. Sometimes she despaired of the types of young officers who were joining the watch lately, most of them only joined because they thought a shiny breastplate and a sword would impress the girls.

"That, unfortunately belongs to us. I can't apologise enough for this idiots unforgivable behaviour. Please if you wish to make a complaint against this officer regarding his conduct I fully understand and shall take the matter up immediately with Vi...Mister Vimes"

The twinkle in her eye begged Illyah to make a complaint...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted September 29, 2008 05:16 AM<p>

"A complaint? A complaint? No, I don't want to lodge a complaint."

Illyah looked directly at the lance-corporal and somehow found the courage he had lacked as a supply sergeant...

"No. No complaints...I want him polishing the Brass Bridge! I want him scrubbing the marble steps of the palace with his own tooth brush! I want him hammering out all the dents of all the armor in the Watch!"

Former Sergeant Kuryakin deflated a bit, to be replaced by Illyah once again.

"Now, if everyone will please excuse me, I still have an office to run."

Before he truned away, he looked at Jeannie and softened his voice even further.

"You'll know how to find me, I'm sure."

With that, Illyah disappeared into the office. he had to see what Kayla was going to do about that injury.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 29, 2008 02:17 PM<p>

Jeannie nodded to Illyah as he hurried back into the office. She turned to the red-faced officer who had been the subject of Illyahs outburst and allowed a slow humourless grin to spread across her face

"You know, I think Mr Kuryakin has the right idea...and I've got just the job for you Lance-corporal Meekin.

A short while and a brisk walk later Jeannie stood at the door to the watch stables. As the watch had grown in size so had it's need for transport and it now housed quite a few officers of the equine persuasion. The main door to the stables was open, and Jeannie leant against the frame relishing the look of revulsion on the young officers face as he stared first at the shovel in his hand and then with renewed horror at the task he was supposed to perform with it...he swallowed and looked back at the sergeant

"...I have to shovel all of this sh..."

Jeannie tried not to look as if she was enjoying every minute of putting this little twerp in his place and nodded solomly

"That's right. Since Bert has been off with his dicky leg it's sort of, ahem, 'piled up' so to speak." she coughed to cover a chuckle that escaped and looked around the stables shaking her head "I don't know what Bert has been feeding them but it seems to go through them faster than water through a sieve. Well, I won't keep you any further, I can see you have alot to do..."

Walking away briskly Jeannie managed to get across the courtyard before she had to stop and let out the laughter that had been trying to leap out of her throat for the past ten minutes. Composing herself, she glanced again at the sky which was fading from late afternoon to twilight and decided that perhaps Sasha Vine had been tormented enough, time to head to the interview room and put her out of her misery...

Sasha was wondering whether running head first against the wall could help to end her torment against the hours of relentless questions when there was a knock on the door...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted September 29, 2008 05:08 PM<p>

It was only after she regained consciousness that she realised why she had fainted in the first place. The wound she had received had been cleaned and stitched up, but it still throbbed and she had the distinct feeling that someone was banging on the inside of her, desperate to come out. Looking around she saw that she was lying on a narrow, make-shift bed in the middle of the sort of laboratory seldom seen outside of a nightmare. It was only after igor politely cleared his throat for the second time that she noticed the six fingered man holding a cup of something steaming out towards her. Against her better judgement, and survival instinct, she took the cup and gulped some of the hot liquid, burning her tongue as she did so. It tested sweet and had an almost immediate effect. The poudning ceased and she had the feeling that she was no longer sitting on the small bed, but rather floating a foot above it. She smiled hugely at Igro, who now seemed quite comely.

"Thank you...I think...You saved my life."

Sensing another form she looked up and saw Talbot, she would have been startled, but knew that if she took another sip of whatever it was that igor had given her, she could have flown right out of the room.

"I'm sorry to have barged in here so late."

Angua realised that she had been standing outside the interogation room for far too long. Although she knew it wasn't funny in the least, she had to stuff her fist into her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. It wasn't that Sasha was free of guilt, Vetinari was right, everyone was guilty of something in Ankh-Morpork, but the way the Corporal kept prodding, hoping that by doing so he might be able to change reality and who knows, maybe one day he would manage it, but Angua doubted that today would be that day. Deciding that enough was enough she opened the door and stepped into the room.

"Anything Corporal."

The corporal glared at Sasha in accusing manner, as though she had made him look bad in front of his superior.

"Nothing Sargeant, she's a tough one this one."

Angua nodded solemly.

"I think I'll tkae over form here thank you Corporal."

Hodges lookedl ike he was about ot protest, but Angua placed a hand on his hsoulder. Hodges smirked at Sasha, his tiny eyes looking gleeful as if silently saying "Now you're in for it". Rising wihtout a word he left the room and closed the door behind him. Angua counted to ten and then banged the door, there was a muffled curse and footsteps disappeared hurriedly down the corridor. Anuga, saying nothing seated herself and got comfortable. For a long while she didn't say anything just stared, her eyes occassionally drifting to Sasha's throat. Finally though she leant forwards and spoke.

"Okay forget Hodges and the stuff before, tell me what happened again, everything you can remember even the stuff you might not think is relevant."

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	13. Chapter 13

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted September 29, 2008 08:35 PM<p>

Verurteilen watched closesly as the watch officers left and the crowd slowly began to disipate, most likely having been motiviated by the man who was man handling a young corporal, and yet, she could not shake the feeling that she was being watched, though she could find no one as she looked around out of the corners of her eyes

Deciding that now would be the best time to make her move, Verurteilen moved swiftly and silently, until she came to the door of the abandoned building, after another look around, Verurteilen ducked inside

Had there not been so many rats infesting the floor, and their heartbeats echoing through her ears, Verurteilen might have felt the other prescence in the room, but her mind was all ready focused on the task at hand

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

Posts: 2273 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted September 30, 2008 01:41 PM<p>

Kayla let out a gasp as the Watch officer let go of her wrist. This was as much due to the fresh stab of pain that ran up her arm as the sight of Illyah shouting with more venom than she would have thought possible from the timid Tax Officer. Catching the towel that Illyah had thrown inexpertly, she tried to staunch the blood flow, wincing as the muck in the towel made it sting. Kayla was abashed. The vehemence of Illyah's protection was something she had definitely hadn't expected, especially having only met him half an hour ago. She wasn't even that bothered about being called a child.

Kayla wandered over to Ed to try and comfort him a little. She tasted blood on her lips and was surprised, until she remembered biting her lip from trying not to call out. Standing in the doorway Ed was blocking the path in and out of the building a great deal more effectively than the watch s yellow and black rope, and Kayla wandered over while licking the blood from around her mouth. Manoeuvring her arms so as to have her hand free, she guided Ed outside where the press of people was slightly easier to manage. The crowd was beginning to disappear, although Illyah s outburst meant that a few were still hanging around in the hope of more action. Kayla thought she caught a fleeting glimpse of someone making their way into the abandoned building across the road, but a second glance showed nothing more sinister than an errant rat scurrying back and forth across the entranceway.

Kayla cast about for Illyah and, seeing him standing by the seemingly most senior watch officer, wandered over to thank him, grasping Ed by the wrist so as not to let him bolt. She wasn t entirely sure that she would find her way back to Mrs Burges without him.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

Posts: 6055 | From: Bath | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted September 30, 2008 02:23 PM<p>

Sasha gave Angua a wary look as she dismissed the corporal, was this going to be one of those good-copper bad-copper routines? The sergeant however made hersef comfortable and there were a few moments of silence which Sasha made no atttempt to fill. Instead she sat and waited for Angua to speak, the way the woman kept staring was unnerving. When finally the sergeant spoke Sasha gave a half shrug

"I've already been through it a hundred times since this morning, but okay..."

She fidgeted in her chair and stretched, stifling a yawn. It had been a long, very trying day and the fading light outside was adding to the feeling of tiredness. Finally bringing her arms back down she folded them and met the sergeants stare

"Okay, this morning I was on my way to work. I had stopped off to grab a coffee, there's a place in Baker street that do these funny little cardboard cups. It's amazing that they don't leak, I mean, they're only paper right?..."

A subtle cough from the sergeant brought Sasha out of her ramblings and she gave an apologetic grin "Sorry, it's been a long day, I ramble when I'm tired. Anyway where was I?...oh yeah, I was walking to work with my coffee. I got to about twenty foot away from the office and I saw Nathan step outside. He was naked, I have no idea why he was naked but hey " ...Sasha flashed a wicked grin..."I can think of worse sights to start the day with. I was about to shout out, you know, to tease him about his lack of clothes when"...Sasha's grin faded and her face became serious..."he was shot, in the chest. He staggered back through the door out of my sight. I ran over as fast as I could. When I got there he was laying on his back on the floor and that damn bolt was stuck in his chest. I'm pretty sure he was dead by the time I got to him, I felt for a heartbeat but there wasn't one. The bolt in his chest looked horrible so I pulled it out then Candice called the watch and now here I am"

Sasha sighed, today had been awful. and being asked to constantly re-cap this mornings events was becoming more than tedious. Her stomach growled it's protests at no food since breakfast and she would have killed for a decent coffee, okay well maybe not figurativly but she wanted a coffee pretty badly. Sasha looked back at the attentive sergeant

"Look, someone obviously wanted him dead but I don't really know enough about the guy to be able to give you anymore information than that, I'd only known him a couple of days. What I do know is that it wasn't me."

"You don't seem very upset about it though"

"I hardly knew the guy, but he seemed okay. I had no reason to kill him..."

Something in the sergeants expression caught Sasha's attention, she stopped mid sentence and raised her eyebrows

"...but you already know that don't you? You know I'm not guilty!"

[ October 02, 2008, 02:11 AM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted October 03, 2008 08:03 PM<p>

Candice reached the merchants guild and straight away spotted the guy she was looking for, standing looking lost at the gates. Was there any point him even guarding? She wandered up to him, and was next to him before he spotted her.

"I'm not here on tax business" she said, sensing his sudden fear. "Never actually wanted to work for them, really. But debts to society have to be repayed, apparantly." She sighed, and looked at the mess that the golum had left behind. "Thats going to take ages to fix."

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted October 04, 2008 02:34 PM<p>

He watched her making no move to obstruct her progress, he examined the vampire scarbbling through the debris and the rats in order to find the body beneath the floor boards.

"The watch was lax not to find the body the first time around, let us hope that the yare not so careless the next time."

The figure was tall, their face obscured by shadow, it was not wearing black, navy blue or any other colour you'd expect someone like this person to be wearing. Instead they stood before Vertuvlien in dark browns and greys, the colour of dirt, the colour, pretty much, of Ankh-Morpork.

"It's a shame you shot that man, you see he had a rather large debt which he was paying off. Now of course I am out of pocket which is not an option, so you have inherited his debt. Luckily your skills may be useful to me in my business endeavours, otherwise you'd be nothing more than dust at my feet right now. I suggest that if you are going to make any protestations or posturing we get them out of the way now as I am a busy person and I want you to start your erands for me."

The figure fell silent obviously expectant of a reply from the young vampire.

The guy who'd been staring at the gaping hole in the door turned and looked at Candice. He wanted to scowl, he really did, but she was just damn too good looking, so instead he settled for a guarded look, searching her ankles for the small Golem.

"Yeah, s'gonna take weeks and don't think that patriican ain't heard about this, we are a respectable guild just trying to make ends meat and you lot come in here breaking the place apart?" He shook his head.

He was too tall to be short but not tall enough to be of average height and his stomach was clearly attempting to match his height, which gave him a strangely sepherical appearance. Shaking his head again at some internal monologue he gave her another guarded look.

"Whatcha want?"

Angua folded her arms.

"We are still investigating the incident." there was a long pause and then she sighed. "However, it looks like the shot was fired from across the street."

Hardening again she shot Sasha a meaningful look.

"Still we've not ruled out any possibilities. I could have you spend the night in our cells but Illyah seems to think you're okay and while he was here, he was a good guy. A little strange but who isn't in this place."

Angua looked as though she hadn't meant to say that last bit aloud. Glancing out of the window she frowned and stood. She moved to the door and turned, almost as though she'd forgotten about Sasha.

"So, you're free to go, but don't leave the city."

With that she left Sasha sitting in the room and left the door open.

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted October 04, 2008 03:22 PM<p>

Talbot was vaguely aware of a conversation between Igor and what he realised, somewhere in the growing haze of his mind, was a female. The woman was given one of Igor s potions to drink and, having taken a few gulps was now staring at him, blood clearly visible on her clothes. It was at this point that Talbot lost all sense of reality and the world turned crimson. Before he could take more than a step forwards, however, he felt the firm grip of Igor on his arm restraining him.

Marther! You need to fight it! he lisped urgently.

Talbot hadn t had time to acclimatise to his new condition or learn to control it. The urge to escape was overpowering and he barely registered Igor s words. Struggling free of Igor s grip, he sprinted up the stairs two at a time and sped out of the building into the protective darkness of The Shades.

Igor turned to his patient.

I m thorry, Mith, he said. Mithter Talbot ith thuffering from a rather complekth illnethth which I haven t had chanthe to treat properly yet. He th a wonderful man when you get to know him. Thuper with teeth. Thee! Igor gave a broad grin showing a surprisingly perfect smile for one resembling a patchwork quilt made of an eclectic mix of ill-fitting shapes. He wasn t sure that the woman was taking everything in. Perhaps he d overdone the dosage a little ?

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

Posts: 13421 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2007 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted October 04, 2008 03:40 PM<p>

"Huh?Wha..? Now just hang on a minute!"

But it was too late, Sergeant Angua had already hurried away. So that was it huh? A day full of questions and accusations ending in a simple 'Get out but don't go too far in case we need you'. Ah well, Sasha shrugged and grinned to herself, It could have turned out much worse.

Standing up she stretched her stiff limbs and looked out of the window, trying to see what had made the sergeant rush off like that. All she could see was the early night sky, a bright full moon was beginning to illuminate the rooftops, it's silvery light doing little to light the narrow streets below. Sasha swept her hair back from her face and shrugged again, whatever had made the officer rush off didn't matter, Sasha was free to go. But first, perhaps a little impromptu exploration was in order. After all how many chances would she get to roam around the watch house unaccompanied?

Taking her time and being careful to duck out of the way when she heard approaching footsteps the silent thief was trying to find something to make her explorations worthwhile when a peculiar smell wafted down the corridor she was sneaking down. Frowning she crept up to the partly open door and peeked through, through the gap she could see various jars and beakers full of...well even Sasha's imagination didn't stretch far enough to hazard a guess at the contents. A grossly disfigured 'man' (for want of a better term) was stood by a slab. Sasha couldn't see what was on the slab but she grinned, pushed open the door and wandered inside staring in fascination first at the man then at the various containers

"Cool! A real live Igor! ewww, what is that in that green liquid? Do you people really chop up dead people and..."

Igor jumped and turned around, Sasha thought he may have been frowning but it was hard to tell.

"Who are you? what are you doing in here? I inthitht that you leave immediately or I shall call for an offitherr!"

Sasha waved off Igor protests

"yeah yeah, I'll go in a sec. I just wanted to meet a real Igor. I have alot of respect for your..um...race. Very worthy, um, stuff that you do. The world would be a better place if we all recycled as keenly as you guys eh?"

Igor relaxed, apparently mollified by Sasha's feigned approval of hacking up corpses. He nodded and sniffed

"Yeth well, it'th nithe to thpeak to thomeone who underthandth. I'm jutht not underthtood here. Do you know they won't even let me take any thpareth from thith one! Thuch a wathte!"

Sasha nodded in sympathy, her eyes flicked to the slab as Igor stood to one side and gestured to the body lying on the cold flat surface. Her reply dried up in her throat when she saw the pale lifeless face of Nathan. Suddenly exploring the watch house did not seem like such a clever idea. Managing to rip her gaze from Nathans dead body, Sasha took a step backward, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Shi...I mean, I didn't expect that!" seeing the confused look on Igors face Sasha explained away her reaction with another lie "Sorry, I've just not seen many dead bodies before" Yeah right! "It's a bit of a shock."

Something occurred to her, Nathan had been shot this morning, there was no need for an autopsy and from the sound of it Igor had been forbidden to harvest his 'spares' from Nathan so why was his body still here and not in the morgue?

Frowning, Sasha opened her mouth to voice her question when an indescribable noise came from just behind Igor, Sasha's eyeballs tried to rebel by freezing in their sockets. She felt the tiny hairs on her neck stand on end, the noise had come from Nathans corpse!

Forcing herself to look around Igor, at first Sasha relaxed. Nathans body still lay there exactly the same as it had been before...wait, no his legs. They had bent at the knees, how could a corpse do that? her brain threw up a logical answer, must be some sort of rigor mortis. Yeah, that made sense, shrinkage of the muscles or something.

The noise happened again, Sasha stared unable to wrench her eyes free as Nathan's body began to move,...no correct that... began to change. Before her eyes his limbs contorted and his body sprouted dark fur, his mouth and nose lengthened and became the long slender jaws that had long since struck terror into the heart of living creatures. After a few fascinating terrifying moments the change seemed to have stopped and Sasha found herself staring not at Nathan but at a huge wolf lying on it's side on the slab in front of her.

Another noise came from the body, only this time accompanied by a very familiar movement as it's chest began to rise and fall, the wolf was breathing!  
>Watching all this as if it was nothing out of the ordinary Igor smiled and nodded with satisfaction<p>

"Aha, tho that'th why they didn't want me to take any thpareth!"

[ October 04, 2008, 03:43 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted October 04, 2008 07:25 PM<p>

"i dont have the golum" Candice worked out pretty quickly what the man was searching for. "It wasnt my iddea to use that, i know how important this place is...but some people just like destroying things. I mean, if we had wanted to get in, the back entrance was the better option, but they just didnt want to listen to me, just wanted to destroy the door. I stopped the same thing happening elsewhere and thje others werent impressed." Candice slipped into silence, trying to hold off the return of her hangover ffor a bit longer. "You recognised one of my colleagues. Im just wondering why you were more angry to see him than the rest of us."

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted October 05, 2008 12:00 PM<p>

Verurteilen was startled by the sudden voice, and froze in her search for the body of the assassin, looking up, she had to scan the room a few times around before she discovered the figure dressed in earthen colours

She scowled when she heard what he said next, and when she stood up to speak, her voice came out in a low hiss

"Excuse me?" she hissed in the darkness, her hand slid inside of her cloak, and grasped the handle of her blade, as a precaution, "first off, who are you to zink zat you can order me around? I am sorry zat ze man obviously meant something to you, but it vas never my intention to kill him, my hand vas forced, and I vill be damned if I ever let zat happen to me again"

She drew her blade, and drew herself up to her full height, the brim of her hat shadowing her silvery eyes from what little moonlight was shining in through the decaying windowframe on the wall

"Second, ze last couple of days have changed me, and morals or no morals, I am no vone's pet bat to be trained to do zere bidding, and I vould gladly kill you before I vould let you treat me like vone!"

[ October 05, 2008, 12:03 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted October 05, 2008 03:07 PM<p>

The figure did not move as Verurteilen drew the knife, but the temperature of the room dropped several degrees. Silence followed the chill atomsphere, pushing on beyond comfortable, but finally the figure broke the excrutiating pause. Slowly at first and then gathering momentum the figure clapped. Abruptly the clapping stopped and the voice sounded relaxed, dangerously so. Each word was chosen carefully and there was no hint trace of anger. Whoever this person was it was clear they were quite confident that they were in control.

"I am afraid I have misled you, the man himself held no importance to me, merely the debt. Pushed or not, it was your finger upon that trigger and so your inheritence is his debt."

Again the silence between them fell and once more it was the figure that broke it.

"I was here when the werewolf from the watch searched the building and you, someone with an apparent talent with a weapon, did not know I was here unti lI wished you to. Do you believe that you can dispose of me so easily with a knife?"

There was the sound of something being lifted, and the dying sunlight glinted off of a shuttered jar.

"Let me tell you what I have here. I believe that the Times photographer uses them, salamanders. It is of course true that this would not kill you, but I believe without blood you'd be nothing more than a pile of ash. Perhaps I'll put you into an egg timer and you can tell me when my meal is finished. Perhaps that would help to re-pay your debt. However, it would certianly take a long while and it woudln't be very enjoyable for either of us. Of course, the choice is yours."

The guarded look in the Merchant's eyes melted somewhat as she mentioned that it was her who had tried to reason with her collegues. True she was a Tax Officer but someone that good looking coudln't be bad surely? When Candice mentioned Nathan though, the Merchant scowled again.

"Yeah, I was angry, the guy was snooping around here before, said he watned access to something in the vault. He said that it didn't belong to hte guild and that he was here to collect it. We told him to 'ope it but the guy was very insistent in the end we had to threaten him with the watch."

They had probably threatened him with a lot more than that, but he wasn't going ot admit to that. A thought crept through his small brain then and his eyes went wide.

"We ain't checked the vualt, the little bugger 'as probably nicked off with it."

Blood. Bile. Bleech. All of those scents and so many more rushed in through his nose as Nathan took his first shuddering breath. Was he dead? his life hadn't falshed before his eyes or anything, there had jsut been...a lot of blood and a really huge chest pain and a minute later he realised he coudln't be dead because his chest felt like it was on fire. Taking another painful breath he thought he caught a familiar scent through the mileu clamouring for his attention. His shot open and his gaze fell squarely on Sasha who was staring back at him. Disorientation swept over him and he found he coudln't sit up. He wasn't in the tax office anymore, he didn't know this place, or at least he didn't think he did. His limbs felt like lead, his chest blazed with pain, though the wound that had gaped looked like nothing more than a deep flesh wound now. His thoughts swam sluggishly, but one struck him so clearly and so sharply that Nathan's body acted on instinct. What if Sasha had seen him shift? What if she told others? Would she do that? They had not known each other long enough for him to judge that. The wolf's hackles rose and directing his liquid amber eyes at Sasha he growled threateningly. In one movement Nathan stood and leapt for the entrance, trying to block Sasha in the lab. It was quite clear his body was not up for such exertion as Nathan's leap fell short and his legs buckled as he landed. The room swam and blacknes threatened. When his vision cleared Sasha had gone and the one human thought he had was.

"Damn"

It came out as a piteious whine.

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted October 05, 2008 03:44 PM<p>

Verurteilen faltered, but only for a micro second, not long enough for it to be noticed, but she composed herself, for quick thinking was on her side, and a small smile, completely empty of humor, slid across her face, slowly and deliberately, she rolled up her sleeve and slid her wielded blade across her arm, making a small gash

"You are wrong, of course," she said, "I do have blood, a whole body full of it, zis cut is nothing, of course, it is so shallow zat it is healing over as I speak, if I had stabbed myself, I vould be bleeding long enough to revive myself had I turned to dust"

Verurteilen rolled her sleeve down over her wound, which was already a pink scar, and turned her blade over

"But I still have my blood, here on my blade, and being an assassin, zis is not my only veapon, I am alvays carrying several knives and daggers, all stained with ze blood of others, you vould never be able to retreive them all before I vas turned back"

With a gloved hand, she replaced the blade in her cloak, and glowered at the figure

"If ze debt of zis man vas merely matter of money, I vill gladly repay you if only to get you off of my back, and your little dramatic show here can be over"

The figure was beginning to unnerve Verurteilen, he seemed to know of her a little too well, to be too prepared, and she was silently cursing everyone in the world who had lead her to this position

[ October 05, 2008, 03:45 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted October 05, 2008 05:00 PM<p>

Sasha stared transfixed at the huge wolf on the slab, she watched speechless as it's eyes opened groggily then focused on her. The lupine amber irises met her own dark blue eyes, the growl began and in a split second her brain gave the order

Run!

She was moving before the wolf had leapt, finding a speed and agility she didn't even know she had. She raced out of the watch house ignoring any shouts from the stunned officers and pelted down the street. Finally she only slowed when it dawned on her that there was no sounds of pursuit, no panting or thudding of paws. Breathing so hard that it caused her to wince Sasha sagged against a wall, doubling over as her breath came in hard gasps. Finally a laugh escaped her as after the panic came the inevitable high from the adrenaline rush, The thought occurred to her that if she had run that fast a few days ago she would never have ended up in the cells and none of this would have happened, still, no point in dwelling on 'ifs' and 'maybes'.

Finally finding it easier to breath Sasha straightened up, brushing her by now thoroughly tangled hair out of her face she reflected on just how crap today had been. Murder, accusations and then coming face to face with a werewolf...so, like any self respecting citizen would after a difficult day, Sasha knew exactly where she should head next. She went to the pub...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted October 06, 2008 08:23 AM<p>

"Must have been a bit of a shock when he showed up as a tax collector then." Candice looked concerned. "As far as i know he's not a member of the theives guild, but then, i dont know him. Its not like we can ask him, either..." She trailed off, then frowned. Then, in the distance she spotted someone she didnt want to see.

"You best look at the vault then, find out if anything we didnt register was taken. Its not right, tax officers stealing. Was nice talking to you!"

Candice ran off, and the man behind started running too. So she ducked into the nearest bar, where she spotted Sasha.

"You'll never guess what i just found out" Candice said, signalling the barman. Then she saw Sasha face. "Whats up, you look like you've seen a ghost."

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

Posts: 936 | From: VIC - Australia | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted October 06, 2008 04:28 PM<p>

"Hmmm...oh it's you."

Sasha snorted a short laugh at Candices enquiry and took a gulp of her drink "Seen a ghost?Not exactly, it's just been a very...unusual day. You know, with the shooting and the questions and everything ."

Settled on her bar stool Sasha looked sidelong at Candice and grinned "That idiot corporal thought you were my accomplice, my god that man has tenacity! Bloody hours I spent in that sodding room today! And then what do they do? Turn around and say 'Thankyou you're free to go'...just like that! With out so much as an apology for the grevious enfringement of my liberty!"

Sasha drained her glass shaking her head as she set it down on the bar "Honestly, anyone would think I was a crook the way I was treated today"

Gesturing to the barman for a refill, Sasha turned in her seat slightly so she could face Candice

"So, what did you find out today?"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted October 08, 2008 02:31 PM<p>

Illyah sat slumped in a chair and felt drained by the events of the last few hours.

He hadn't managed to go collecting today, as Vetinari had insisted they do, but still...

He looked over toward Kayla and her friend; funny how people get thrown together sometimes.

"Listen, Kayla...about that wrist of yours...something has to be done. That is still is very new and nasty injury and if you're not careful you may end up losing that arm to an infection. There's a very good Igor over at the Watch House, if you like we could go see him tomorrow?"

He wasn't sure why he felt resposnible for her, but he did. He looked around to see if Meera was still around, maybe she could walk Kayla over to Igor.

Damn, it was hard to know when she was around or not; she could be standing right behind you and you'd never see her...

Illyah spun around quickly, but no - she wasn't there.

"Um, Kayla...I don't know what your situation is, but if you need a job...something regular..."

Wait. Haven't I seen this before...somewhere?

*cough* "Anyway, I may be in need of additional staff here and uh, well, think it over and let me know."

Aren't you the articulate one.

Illyah said his good-byes to Kayla and grabbed his coat. He wanted to stop by the Watch House and speak with Igor; not about Kayla just yet, Illyah wanted to know what the plan was for Nathan. There would have to be a funeral of some sort.

Walking down the street from the office, he suddenly felt very old.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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	14. Chapter 14

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Jump to new posts Hello, Mrs Wizzard [ log out ] Terry Pratchett Message Board General Discussions Sator Square A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG (Page 27)

UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted October 11, 2008 12:56 PM<p>

OOC: Thrumpy if you had other plans then please let me know and I will re-write my post

IC:

Once more silence re-asserted itself in the gloom, the strange figure and the vampire facing off against one another. Finally the figure broke the silence again.

"You are right, let's end this drama, the debt is a hundred thousand dollars, if you can pay that then our business is finished, if not then you will work for me until it is paid. Unfortunatley since yo useem so reluctant.."

The were as very nasty scraping of metal not unlike the of a sword being pulled from a scabard.

"What say you Miss."

When Nathan awoke his surroudings had changed again. He was lying in a basket, a multi-coloured blanket covering him and underneath that a bandage encircling his chest. If it had been any other time he would ahve found being placed in a basket a humiliation, to akin to some pet, but he was too comfortable to care. Slowly the scents of his surroudnings began to filter ot him and he began to become aware of where he was. He was in a small office that smelt all too familiar of polish and soap. The combination of smells mixed together to form the picture of Captain Carrot an officer who had never seemed angry when he had caught Nathan doing something potentially dubious, just...disappointed. It felt like being mentally smacked with a newspaper and it was only when he was not in the man's company that he realised he shouldn't be so foolish, but it seemed to happen every time, it was almost like a sort of magic. The door to the office had been left open and through it he could see the back of the man himself and facing the office was...Illyah? it was difficult to tell through the scents of soap and polish, but he felt a cold shiver pass through him. Nathan suddenly didn't want to be here, it was bad enough that Sasha had found out, but Illyah as well? why not just spread it around ot everyone. It took him a while to think, but it came ot him eventually, even if it was Illyah and even if the man saw him, Illyah didn't know that he was a werewolf and had never seen him in wolf form, Illyah woudln't recognise him.

"Mr Kuryakin, it is good to see you, I heard about this incident today and I am sorry, we will do our best to catch who is responsible."

Captain Carot was amiable and respectful, he was...nice.

"Is there anything I can help you with?

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted October 11, 2008 04:31 PM<p>

Illyah shook hands with Carrot and tried to look unconcerned.

"Hi Captain, nice to see you. I, uh, was just stopping by the see if there had been any arrangements made for Nathan yet...if anyone had claimed the body?"

Vetinari hadn't said anything to him, he wasn't responsible for him legally except as an employee, but for whatever reason Illyah wanted to make sure this was done properly.

"I'd appreciate it if you could let me know when his body can be released. Any news on the investigation?"

He finally noticed the large wolf in the basket behind Carrot. He had known about Angua but very rarely saw her in human form much less as a wolf, but this couldn't be her could it?

Go ahead and pet it - find out.

"No...no, not today."

He gave Carrot his contact information and left without making too much small talk. He had come to see Igor and wanted to be in and out of the lab before he lost his appetite. Sometimes the smells were a little much.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted October 12, 2008 12:12 AM<p>

Verurteilen scowled at the figure, how had a man like Nathan possibly found himself in a debt of one hundred thousand dollars? In all of her time in this city, Verurteilen had only ever made about half of that amount

"Zese errands," she hissed, icily, bracing herself, "just vhat did you have in mind?"

[ October 12, 2008, 12:13 AM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted October 16, 2008 04:26 PM<p>

After listening to Candices recollection of her conversation at the Merchants guild Sasha kept her face carefully neutral, conveying what she hoped was just the right amount of surprise and suspicion. And whilst her voice said...

"Really? Well that's a surprise and no mistake"

Her inner thoughts said at the same time...

That makes perfect sense, 'recovering' items for people was his business right?

then her thoughts added

So...what was he up to and just who did he piss off enough to get himself shot?

Then more thoughts joined in

Does it matter? He's not dead anyway!

Well of course it bloody matters, I spent all day in the watch house and there wasn't even a murder after all that! The guy a godsdamn werewolf!

Just be grateful he didn't manage to eat you

Grateful? I saw him change, he's probably going to eat me just so I don't blab to anyone...

Sasha shook her head and decided to drown out her thoughts with another drink. She motioned to the bartender with her glass

"Same again" then jabbed a thumb at Candice "Put it on her tab"

Whether she actually had a tab or not sasha had no idea but Candice looked like the sort of person who had a tab in every kind of bar. 'Daddy' probably made sure they were paid off so his little princess didn't get any large angry men attempting to beat what she owed them out of her hide.

When the drink arrived Sasha held it up in a slightly inebriated salute to Candice and grinned "Cheers! y'know, you might not be so bad afterall"

[ October 16, 2008, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted October 16, 2008 04:31 PM<p>

Kayla looked at Illyah as he mentioned Igor. Looking at her hand, she remembered her mothers 'Views' on that sort of thing and sighed.

If only we had parted well, I could have ignored those Views... now they just impede

Ed was still looking about wildly, but his breathing had slowed and her was capable of some movement without being dragged by Kayla. The crowd was thinning rapidly, and Kayla had the feeling that she should get away, before she outstayed her welcome.

"Come on Ed, time to head back. If we're lucky, Mrs Burges won't have noticed us gone"

Kayla waved her hand in front of Ed to get his attention before getsuring vaguely in the direction she thought the lodgings were and followed on as Ed led away through the maze of streets.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

Posts: 6055 | From: Bath | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted October 17, 2008 03:05 AM<p>

Candice figured that Sasha knew more about Nathan than she was letting on, but said nothing. Sasha would stop talking to her completely if she asked. Grinning slightly at the mention of a tab, Candice pulled out her purse.

"No Tab" she said, pulling out some notes and placing them on the bar. There was enough money there to get the two of them quite drunk. "On the rare occasions i actually have to pay for something, i prefer to pay as i get it, cause at least that way i dont have to try and remember if i really did drink as much as they claim i did. It's amazing how many people try to rip me off..." The barman had placed a drink in front of Candice, which she now took a sip of. "Thanks liam." She then turned back to sasha, grinning. People think im dumb. i dunno why".

Sashas next drink dissapeared quickly, and Candice immediatly had it replaced.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted October 17, 2008 01:56 PM<p>

Illyah had tried holding his breath in the past. He'd even tried faking a cold and holding a kerchief to his nose. It was never any good.

Oh come on. I can't smell a thing.

He turned the knob to the lab and poked his head in; maybe Igor would be right there and he talk to him outside.

Nobody.

Just the jars. And the liquids. And the rare cage. It wasn't just the jars and such that unnerved Illyah, it was the way things...reacted as he walked by them.

Some things swam, others tried to climb out. The bits that weren't attached to anything...wiggled.

Standing just inside the doorway now, Illyah called out for Igor. he got as far as "Ig-!"

"Yethh thir?"

"Oh for all that is good on the Disc! Don't do that Igor! See? That's why you never get invited to Hogswatch parties."

"Thorry thir. Thomething I can do for you thir?"

"Yeth..er, yes. I was just speaking with Carrot, trying to find out if anyone had claimed the body yet. Figured maybe we make sure he has a proper funeral, y'know."

"No thir, I'm afraid I don't. What body are you thpeaking of?"

"You know, Nathan...er, Nathan from the tax office. Young guy about yea tall, with an arrow wound to the chest? brought in this morning."

"No thir, I have noone like that here thir."

"What? How many young men are killed each morning by arrow bolts each morning? He would have stood out a bit. Or at least laid out a bit, if you get my meaning."

"No thir, I don't have anyone meeting that description here thir."

Illyah was at a loss. He knew the Watch had brought Nathan here. He had seen it himself. Dead people just don't get up and walk away...

"Now thir, if you'll excuthe me, I have a small matter to attend to at the moment. Feel free to thtay if you like."

Illyah couldn't help but be led out the door by Igor. He'd have to figure this out, but right now a headache was creeping up on him.

"No, no Igor, that's just fine. I'll be on my way. Thanks."

As he made his way down the street, Illyah looked up into the sky. There is always more isn't there?

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted October 17, 2008 05:39 PM<p>

Receiving no reply from his patient, who was clearly under the influence of the potion, Igor waved a six-fingered hand in front of her face just to make sure, grunted with satisfaction that the medicine was working its magic, and left. She wouldn t need any attention for a while, assuming she was no different from the average human in Ankh Morpork. Besides, Igor needed to keep an eye on Talbot and he had a good idea where he would have gone. His cousin, Igor, would probably be around and would step in if there were any trouble, he was sure, but he took his duties seriously and anyway he was quite fond of his master. Talbot wasn t entirely traditional as masters went but he let Igor get on with any number of interests which was always welcome.  
>_<p>

Talbot ran out into the street. A narrow alley lay ahead of him and he continued into it. He was trying to fight the almost animal instincts that were trying to overwhelm him. Everything in his vision was clothed in a reddish tint and his senses were heightening. It was alarming, like being forced into an extreme rollercoaster when you feel nauseous just riding a horse. He was a natural day dreamer, unconcerned by the complexities of life around him. This was frightening but he was powerless to do anything about it. What was worse, he felt another consciousness directing his footsteps with a purpose that was nothing to do with him. Gradually, Talbot was losing his grip on his own mind and body. He leapt up onto a nearby roof and continued his journey across the tiles.

The world around him was completely red now and he felt a tremendous urgency to return to the cemetery and, in particular, the vault where he had met the vampire, Verurteilen.

Talbot should have been exhausted by now but he felt full of energy and purpose. The amulet bobbed against his chest as he sprang from roof to roof. It was vibrating gently.

The cemetery came into view and Talbot jumped down, moving quickly towards the gate. Had he been wearing a cape, it would have swirled dramatically around him as he came to an abrupt halt at the entrance and looked around him before starting forward towards the vault.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted October 19, 2008 12:53 PM<p>

It was like magic, every time Sasha out her empty glass down it was full again in the blink of an eye. She grinnned, Candice was just the sort of drinking partner she liked, generous with her cash and, surprisingly enough, pretty fun company too

Sasha was in the middle of an andecdote from when she worked at the PInk Pussycat club, trying not to snort her drink through her nose as she took a sip whilst giggling she wiped her mouth and continued

"...seriously, the dwarf said he wanted half his admission fee back because he could only see up to our belly buttons! So Candy goes up to him and..."

Sasha suddenly became aware of someone breathing in her ear, the stink of alcohol and dental decay washed over her. She half turned to see a man barely a foot away from her but the focus of his attention was clearly on Candice. Swaying slightly he pointed a grubby finger at Sasha's celebrity drinking companion

"You's her ain'tcha? The pa'ty girl I seen in the p'pers. Ver' rich." With a foul bech that had Sasha leaning as far way as she could, he leant towards Candice with what he probably thought was an enticing expression on his face.

"Y'gonna party wi' me t'night sweetshtuff" he announced with an ugly sneer

Sasha watched the man warily, Candice probably got this sort of thing alot in the cheaper sorts of bars like this one but still, Sasha's hand felt for the handle of her trusted blade. She felt kind of hopeful though, a decent bar brawl was few and far between nowadays...

[ October 19, 2008, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted October 20, 2008 06:02 AM<p>

candice kept up the supply of drinks, and started to learn more about Sasha. A few of the people from the pink pussycat club they both knew, so anecdotes were great. Candice was laughing about the dwarf one, when a horrible stench washed over her.

"As nice as that sounds" said Candice, faking a smile, "I already have company." She turned away from him, and tried to continue the conversation with Sasha. The man then grabbed her wrist.

"Wasn' an offer." He stated. "Your mine t'nite."

Candice glanced down at his hand, then back at him, still smiling.

"I think you're confused, mate. You're gonna go home, and sober up, while i stay here and drink with my friend. Its just, as nice as you seem, you've just put yourself in a LOT of danger by grabbing my wrist. The barman already has a bat in his hand, the three guys in the corner over there now have a hold of their swords, theres a troll nearby watching, the mercinary behind me is now pointing her pistol bow at you, and my friend here just found her knife. She looks like shes in the mood for a bit of a brawl, too."

Candice paused for another mouthful of drink. "However only my friend here can hear this conversation. The only reason the others havent attacked you is because im still smiling. The second i stop, they'l;l know for sure something is wrong. So heres a question. " She grinned, for real this time. "Do you feel lucky? Because i cant pretend to smile much longer."

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted October 23, 2008 03:48 PM<p>

The drunks eyes flickered toward Sasha when Candice mentioned her. Sasha grinned and waved at him, making her other gesture of flashing the sharp polished steel of her knife in his direction seem completely unrelated.

Frozen in position the Would-be Cassanunder moved his eyeballs around the room taking in the various people who looked like they were itching for an excuse to use the various weapons they held. The array of body rending appliances seemed to have a remarkably sobering effect on the man who swallowed very slowly as if the merest movement would result in pointy objects coming at him and pain, lots and lots of pain

"I don't think she's kidding pal" Sasha said to the drunk, with a discreet wink at Candice a she spoke "Her cheeks are looking kind of tired, I'm guessing her smile won't last until I count to ten...One...Two...Three...Four...uh-oh, her mouth is definitely drooping...Five..."

The man let go as quickly as if Candices arm was a hot coal and backed off but not without a few vicious grumbles as he stepped back into the mass of people who were filling the crowded pub. Sasha relaxed and picked up her glass again with a grin

"See, now that's why I like the whole 'thief in the night' image. It doesn't attract any attention from creeps like that"

Another gulp then she set the glass back down on the bar

"So 'Party girl', how exactly did you end up being stuck working with the likes of me?"

She frowned slightly in the direction where the man had disappeared too, it looked like he was coming back...and he wasn't alone this time. Sasha stiffened and felt once again for that reassuring knife handle under her shirt

"Uh, Candice? Your admirer is back, and he's brought some playmates. May I suggest it could be a good time to get the hells out of here?"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted October 23, 2008 05:52 PM<p>

Unseen by the vampire, the figure standing before her allowed themselves a small and very brief smile..  
>"Have no fear, I am quite confident that all the tasks I have or you are suited to your skills. I've always found vampires to be very resourceful creatures."<p>

The figure pointed across the road at the Tax Office.

"Your first task is a simple one, in that building works this woman." A picture of Candice in the newspaper was produced. Candice was obviously dressed to impress and around her neck she wore a simple chain on the end of which was a magnificent stone. Not overlarge so that it was vulgar but just the right size and seemed to have been made for her, the figure pointed to it.

"The girl thinks it just a pretty object, however I am aware that it is much more than that. It is a flawless gemstone. I have no doubt that she has it upon her person and I want you to retrieve it for me."

Nathan blinked, his head swam and he was acutely aware that he wasn't dead, surely dead people didn't feel this much pain. Doing his best he looked around and tried to focus, they'd moved him again.

"I'm beginning to resent the fact that people seem to think they can just carry and dump me places."

He mumbled to the gloom around him. A moment later he realised he had spoken, not usually a cause for celebration, but considering the fact the last shape he remembered being in was that of a wolf then He waved his hand in front of his face, it was distinctly lacking in fur or paw shaped extremities. He reasoned that it must be morning again and with that realisation memory started to ooze back with all the sluggishness of the Ankh. His hand went to his chest, there was still a bandage wrapped around him, but all he could feel was a lot of bruising and a light indentation. He winced as his chest pointed out to him in no uncertain terms, that it would like to be left alone thank you very much, and Nathan for his part, was happy to oblige. Slowly his senses began to extend further than his immediate area and he became aware of the fact that despite being on a soft narrow bed, he was nevertheless in a cell.

"All roads lead to a cell it seems."

He said to himself, which is why he was surprised to be answered and more so because he'd not noticed the person before now.

"Call it, protective custody."

Nathan turned his head and looked over at a watch officer he didn't recognise, but the cruel little eyes and the expression of glee seemed to make it obvious that this particular watchman enjoyed his position, perhaps a little too much.

"Looks like igor did a good job with you, we all thought you was dead, or were you just faking it to pull of some devious scam?"

Nathan could feel the beginnings of a headache pounding at the door. Dying had been an exceedingly unpleasant experience, but waking up to this little man was almost as unpleasant. A memory chose to pop into his head then and it was not a pleasant one. Sasha's incredulous expression and looking straight at him, then a leap and the scent of fear and blackness, Sasha would know! Nathan sat bolt upright, an action that proved a very bad idea as he swayed and fell off narrow bed.

"Ahhh, got you have I? cottoned on to your little scheme!" the little man cried triumphantly.

Nathan didn't reply, he had landed awkwardly on his chest and was currently exploring knew realms of fiery pain. White flashing lights popped in front of his eyes and he was only dimly aware that he was being talked at. When he managed to process what had been said however he did not reply, merely wondered if he was being punished by someone who really hated him.

"So not going to say anything are you? Well that just proves your guilty."

"Huuhh" was all Nathan managed to wheeze.

Nathan wondered if the watch used this guy in order to get people to confess. He was willing to sign anything as long as it meant that this watchman disappeared. Using the bars he managed to haul himself up and steady himself.

"Are you okay?"

Came another voice out of the gloom, he recognised it, it was cold, but at least it was more sympathetic than whoever this little man was. Angua moved to the edge of the cell and the little man shrank back into the background.

"As well as a guy can be who's had a crossbow through his chest and woken up in a cell."

There was a long silence, it was clear that the small man was desperate to say something, but luckily he held his tongue.

"Do you know who might have wanted you dead?"

"Anyone we took money off of the day before in taxes? There are plenty of people that don't like me, but kill me? I don't think anyone in this city knows me well enough to dislike me."

There was still a pause, but this time it seemed to be saying 'I know you well enough'.

"Look, I'm very grateful to you for your help and all, but am I under arrest? If not then I'd really like to be going."

Angua continued to say nothing, since Nathan himself had nothing left to add he waited for Angua.

"I'm sure there is some law about dying and ocming back to life, but if it was enforced then I'm sure a few of the zombies would ahve somethign to say about it."

She turned to the small man.

"Open the door corporal."

The man looked as if he was thinking of protesting, but his solid resolve had obviously dissolved in the face of Angua. The door was opened and Nathan moved slowly towards it. As he passed Angua she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Someone is upset with you Nathan, I would be careful out there."

Nathan, depsite his mood, managed to flash her a smile.

"I'm always careful sargeant."

With that he made his way out of the cells and out of the watch house. He had been right about one thing, it was morning, but it was very early morning, only just getting light, the moon must have disappeared only half an hour ago at the most. Narrative causality was obviously on his side today as he managed to find a discarded piece of timber which was perfect for a crutch and this is what he used it for. Walking slowly and somewhat painfully, he began walking through the streets and began to wonder what his next move would be.

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted October 23, 2008 06:42 PM<p>

Verurteilen scowled at the figue, so zis is vhat it has come to? she thought, using me as if I vere a petty thief?

"It does appear to be a gem of great vorth," she said, "obviously, not vone found in your typical jewelry store, othervise you vould not have me stealing it off of ze neck of somevone else"

Verurteilen had some clouded views on stealing, she could not exactly say that she was agaist it, the argument turning her in to a hypocrite, she had stolen a lot of things, during her tougher days in Uberwald, she had stolen gold, blood, blades, and one time, she had even stolen a man's heart, admittedly, it had just happened to be on her blade when she had been wrenching it from his chest, but that was well beside the point

"Finding ze girl vill obviously be no problem," she said, "but before I do anything, could I at least know who, or rather, as ze case may be, vhat is black mailing me? Oh, and if you zink zat I am going to call you 'master' or anything like zat, you may as vell just kill me now, and be done vith it"

[ October 23, 2008, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

Posts: 2273 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted October 27, 2008 05:34 AM<p>

Standing with her back to the bar Sasha looked around for an avenue of escape. Behind her she could hear the barkeeper grumbling

"For cryin' out loud, I hold an organised bar fight twice a bloody week but is that enough? Oh no, they have to bleedin' well start trouble, then the next thing I know the watch'll be all over the place"

Sasha was about to grab Candice and try and beat a hasty retreat to the door when the barkeeper yelled loud enough to make her ears ring.

"Oi, graniteface. Get yer arse over 'ere and earn your bloody wages will ya!"

Sasha jumped and looked around, a low rumbling sounded out in response to the barkeepers shout and from a dark corner of the pub a wall turned around. Sasha watched as the huge troll stood up and lumbered over to the men who had been so intent on Candice and Sasha. The men visibly paled, there was a series of muffled yells, followed by a sequence of thuds and the sound of expelled breath as the men hit the cobbles. The troll nodded in satisfaction and slammed the bar door shut, turned around and went back to his seat in the corner. Before he sat down and obliterated her view Sasha noticed the game of Thud and the dwarf who had barely noticed the commotion as he pondered over his next move, the dwarf nodded in aknowledgement at the return of his troll opponent and the they continued their game.

She looked at Candice, shrugged and flashed a grin

"That solved that then. Another drink?"

Sasha sat back down on her bar stool and wordlessly slid her knife back into it's usual hiding place. She waved her empty glass at the barkeeper...

...Harsh morning light assaulted her eyelids, Sasha stirred and groaned, wondering vaguely why her bed felt so hard. She rolled over, the 'bed' abruptly ended and Sasha hit the floor with a yelp. Sitting up she rubbed her bruises and looked around and up, seeing her desk next to her. She had slept on her desk? She was in the Tax offfice, how on the disc had she ended up here? After a few moments of recollection Sasha grinned, that's right, she had out been drinking with Candice. She rememberd most of the bars they had visited, including a few of the nobbier ones that Sasha would never normally go to. It was amazing how much attention Candice attracted, men almost fell over themselves to buy her a drink. But Sasha had actually enjoyed herself, and wondered where her drinking companion had ended the night?

Standing up Sasha stretched the kinks out of her back and headed outside. After a brief trip back to her lodgings to wash and change Sasha made a beeline for the nearest cafe. After a good night out she always craved bacon and eggs, preferably with about a gallon of coffee.

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted October 27, 2008 10:17 AM<p>

Kayla had found her way home evntually, and the verbal thrashing that she had expected to recieve from Mrs Burges was postponed by the fact that they had crept in the bck and begun clearing up the kitchen before she came down to check on them.

"Only pos'poned, tho'," remarked Ed "'cos she know' everythin', eventually"

The night was the only bit that really spoiled her day. She tossed and turned all night, wincing every time her stump touched the hard floor or the scratchy bedding. Once again the bleed has eased to a viscous throb, but she had very little to thank that over-keen watch officer for.

And I could go back tomorrow. Jobs. Like stagecoaches. You wait days for one and then two turn up together.

As morning broke and a grey dawn turned into a grey day, Kalya gave up her struggle for good sleep and got up. Ed stirred at the sound of her light footfalls on the dried wood chips on the floor and Rose with her.

"I really need some new clothes. I have no I dea what I did with the pack I had when I got to the city. Maybe I could do that today..."

Ed had no answer to her casual remark, so she led the way up the stairs to breakfast. Passing Sasha's door, she saw the door open, but the bed was not slept in.

"Hey, Ed, was that door open yesterday?"

"erm... no' tha' I noticed."

Kayla poked her nose in the doorway and saw very little. There was the usual clutter that accumulated anywhere humans stayed, but there was no obvious evidence of rummaging in drawers. Shrugging, Kayla nosed her way back out and shut the door.

Downstairs, breakfast was barely started, and Mrs Burges was already bustling about the kitchen. There was once again no sign of Mrs Everson, and Kalya's heard sank as Mrs Burges turned to face them looking purposeful.

"Right, you're up, good. I need you both here all day today to cover for Mrs Everson. She's been taken ill again, so you need to look lively and have breakfast ready before you start the cleaning, and then Dinner is at 6."

So much for getting out to the Tax Office again Though Kayla as Mrs Burges bustled out of the kitchen. Kayla had never met anyone who could Bustle while standing still, but it appeared to be Mrs Burges native state. Kayla sighed and turned towars the stove, where yesterdays porridge sat murmuring quietly in a bowl.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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	15. Chapter 15

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted October 29, 2008 08:03 AM<p>

Candice woke up in her own bed. This suprised her slightly, usually she didnt make it home. It took heer a moment to realise what had woken her up - the curtains in her room were wide open ,so the sun was streaming in. Candice hadnt drunk as much as usual the night before, so she had woken up with a clear head, but too many late nights in a row made her want to go back to sleep.

Ignoring the fact that she was struggling to keep her eyes open, Candice got ready for work, then set off on foot, planning on buying a Vimes BLT on her way.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

Posts: 936 | From: VIC - Australia | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted October 30, 2008 09:34 AM<p>

Illyah had sat up all night on the rooftop, staring at the lights in the sky; sleep had eluded him and the dawn told him it was too late to try for a nap now.

He hadn't been out of the Watch for more than a couple of days, but he missed his desk.

Nothing for it I guess, he thought to himself, have to do the job that's in front of me.

So who is it going to be today? Fools Guild?

"I guess. I have to go after somebody or Vetinari is going to come after me.

Oh don't sound so happy about it, will ya? Could be you lyin' on the slab in the lab with ol' Igor pokin' at ya.

"But that's just it, Nathan wasn't on the slab was he? Igor said he wasn't there - acted like he didn't know who I was talking about."

Well, maybe the guy is one of those undead types, ya know? Or a werewolf. Or a-

"And maybe you're a figment of my imagination."

No reason to get all testy now! You are a grump in the morning you know that?"

"Fine. I'm off to get something to eat. Then I'm off to ruin someone elses day."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted October 30, 2008 05:55 PM<p>

Kayla stared at the broom in the cupboard and sighed. She was tired already and she and Ed had only just finished tidying the breakfast things away. Kayla couldn't see exactlly where the broom was, her eyes kept skitting off it of their own accord and trying to roll back in her head for her to pass out, but she pinched the bridge of her nose hard every time in an attempt to bring her eyes back into focus. The deep throb of her arm had not abated whatsoever in and the sleepless night was telling on her. she called out feebly to Ed and was rewarded by the answering hurried footsteps coming in her direction along the corridor.

"Take the broom would you, I'm going back to bed."

Ed looked at Kayla, concerned, then shrugged and picked up the broom, turning to go down the hall behind the swaying Kayla. She just about made it down the stairs and onto the thin pallet that passed for a bed before she was out like a light. Ed gave a cursory glance down the stairs to see that she was abed before continuing down the hall to carry on with Kayla's chores.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

Posts: 6055 | From: Bath | Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged

Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted November 03, 2008 01:04 PM<p>

Sasha sat by the street side window of a cafe, she sipped on her coffee and stared out of the window savouring the delicious smell of frying bacon that wafted out from the kitchen.

Soon enough it would be time to go to work. Now that the murder investigation was, well non-existent seeing as the victim was in fact still alive she supposed that it would just be business as usual at the office today, or as usual as anything got when it came to the new Tax department. Idly she wondered if Nathan would show up, although the last time she had seen him he had looked like he wanted to rip her to pieces. That could make for an interesting working environment. She chuckled softly, wondering exactly what today was going to throw at her

Wonder who'll we will be stinging today? Nothing like pissing off the guilds to liven things up

Her mind flashed back to yesterday, she grinned as she rememberd parts of her evening out with Candice. Almost on cue she saw the woman herself passing by outside. Sasha smiled and raised her free hand in a simple salute of greeting, her other hand refusing to let go of the much needed coffee. A plate covered in a greasy fried breakfast was put on the table, Sasha grinned, now this was the best morning after remedy. She tucked in with gusto...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted November 06, 2008 01:28 PM<p>

Illyah walked into the cafe and grabbed a seat next to Sasha. Setting a folder on the table between them, he ordered a big breakfast and sipped on a cup of coffee.

"Today we go for the Fools."

He really didn't know what else to do except go back to work. Somehow he thought he was missing out on a huge chunk of what happened with Nathan, but it wasn't something he could tackle yet.

"How are you doing this morning?"

As his food arrived, Illyah dug in with a fury. He was hungry! Two more cups of coffee would go along with this plate.

The Fools would not be pretty; probably would not be as hard to get into as the other guilds, but it would be messy, slippery and just plain silly all the way through.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted November 06, 2008 02:23 PM<p>

Nearly instantly as Verurteilen had asked the question, had the mysterious figure disappeared in to the back ground, once again, and she could no longer feel his presence, Verurteilen waited a few moments, in case his voice might still be heard, but her question remained unanswered, and she sighed

"I am most definately not all good," she mumbled, "but at ze least, I play fair,"

She turned to leave, and stepped out in to the morning air, she stood there, in the dim sun light, weighing her options, she could do what this man said, and live quite possibly a long life as any thing but a pile of dust, but there was another choice

Verurteilen waited a few moments, to see if she could feel the figure's presence, once again, and had found nothing, she turned down to the nearest street, and ran away as fast as she could

there was always another choice

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted November 07, 2008 08:00 AM<p>

With a coffee in one hand and a sandwich in the other, Candice was at a loss as to how to open the office door. After a couple of failed attempts at opening the door with her elbow, Candice bit into her sandwich as a way of holding it, and was finally able to open the door. As she did, the clasp on her necklace broke.

Swearing though the sandwich, Candice bent down and picked it up, then went to her desk and dropped it in a drawer. She finished her coffee and sandwich, then like usual, fell asleep head down on the desk.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted November 07, 2008 03:19 PM<p>

Verurteilen had cleared about half of the city, and, even by vampire standards, she felt an urgent need to stop for a breath

She stopped and leaned against a wall, and inhaled deeply, the smell of death filled her sensitive nose, and she knew that she was near the cemetary, which only made her wince with every new breath that she took

Verurteilen looked around to make sure that she was alone, it was still quite early, and even for Ankh-Morpork, this street was nearly empty, gratefully, the vampire allowed herself to slide down the wall in to a sitting postition

"I said zat I vould be damned before I let myself fall to somevone else's control, again," she mumbled, to herself, "and I meant it"

she thought of the figure, and his jar of salamanders, knowing that at any moment he would figure out her lie to serve him, and would find her, again, maybe without giving her a choice to live

"Somehow I feel I vould be safer in ze vatch cells, vhere I belong," she mumbled, smiling with out any humor

[ November 07, 2008, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: Blazing Moon ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted November 07, 2008 06:37 PM<p>

The cool of the vault felt soothing against Talbot s skin as he passed over the threshold and down the steps. The place was dark with only a shaft of light from the doorway illuminating a large sarcophagus in the centre. The amulet was vibrating gently against his chest as if woken by its proximity to the tomb. Talbot felt himself led forward and he became aware of his own determined breath as he pushed the heavy marble lid aside with ease. A pungent smell of decay hit him and the ray of light would give him a perfect view of the contents, whatever (or whoever) they may be.

He was about to lean over when the sounds of quick footsteps outside made him turn sharply towards the entrance. He wasn t alone. A feeling of urgency overwhelmed him and he resumed his task, moving more quickly this time.

The base of the tomb held an ancient skeleton but lying grotesquely across the top of it was the body of a dwarf. The amulet began to glow and Talbot s hand moved involuntarily towards the small corpse and began to search its clothing. He felt a wave of resentment wash over him. How dare it take over his will like this! All efforts to fight against it proved futile, however. His hand found a ring in one of the inner pockets and he drew it out. A large stone sparkled in the light, almost burning his hand with the heat that seemed to radiate from it. Put me in your pocket and leave! Talbot obeyed the first of the instructions and had just replaced the lid of the tomb when he heard more footsteps and stepped back quickly into the darkness behind him.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted November 08, 2008 03:12 PM<p>

Sasha nodded to Illyah when he sat down opposite her, her mouth too full of bacon to manage anything more than a primitive grunt. Finishing her mouthful she washed it down with a few gulps of coffee and peered at the folder.

"The Fools? Well, that should be fun, except that it won't."

She gulped some more of her coffee, then wiped her mouth before answering Illyahs question

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just glad yesterday is over. I don't know how you managed to work with jumped up little twits like that Hodges."

Whilst she had been talking Sasha had begun to unfold her copy of the Times, She groaned and flopped it down on the table. The main article on the front page was headlined "Taxing Times at Tax Office" and was sat neatly above a photo of a very annoyed looking Sasha stood by Candice and Meera, and the photo next to theirs was of the chalk outline where Nathan body had been in the office. The article itself gave details of all the tax collections so far and of yesterdays murder. Sasha had almost forgotten that she was probably the only one except Igor who knew that ther hadn't even been a murder. So there she was, in glorious print for all to see, and named as a murder suspect no less, although the article did begrudginly admit that all charges had been dropped.

"Wonderful! You know, we should get a troll doorman for the office if we carry on making ourselves so unpopular"

Shrugging, she gave Illyah a bright, knowing smile. "So, it's nearly time for another honest day of taking peoples money. What's the plan for the Fools then?"

Yup, they were definitly going to need security guards, right now the title of 'Tax officer' was probably only one step higher on the Social ladder than 'Leper'

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted November 10, 2008 03:55 PM<p>

"Plan? How about stay away from the squirting flowers, buckets of goo above the doorways and the loose floorboards."

He hadn't thought about it before, but Sasha was right, they would probably need a guard at the door.

"First thing though, we have to round up Candice and Meera. Now that I think about it...I haven't seen Meera in a little while - she's almost too good at hiding. Poor girl needs to get out more - build up her confidence a bit. Always walking around dressed in black...puts the guys on their guard."

Grabbing a coffee to go, he stood and gave a deep sigh as he looked at Sasha.

"Shall we? Oh, and let's not forget the rain coats."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted November 10, 2008 05:24 PM<p>

It had been a struggle, but he had managed to take a strole around the city, not something that was ever usually healthy for someone using a crutch, but he reasoned that he'd been killed once this week and that he was pretty sure he'd filled his quota for now. The damn killer had messed everything up, what was he goingto do? How could he go back to hte tax office? He was pretty sure that Vetinari knew the truth about him and that of course posed another question, How oculd he not? If Vtinari knew and he didn't go back then...well there were worse thigns than dying and he was pretty sure Vetinary knew those things.

It was only the smell of food that wrenched him from his reverie and made him realise how increidbly hungry he was, even though he was pretty sure he knew where the owners kept their phlegm. Turning into the cafe he headed t ohte counter and ordered enough food for a moderately sized family. As he turned round to look at the people in the cafe he felt ice drop into his stomach as he saw Illyah and Sasha, not looking at him, but preparing to leave and worse, they were near the only exit. He was supposed to be dead though right? they'd not think it was him woudl they? but if they kept thinking he was dead it would just get harder to go back. He decided to let the Gods decide and said nothing, just waited for his food, part of him though was willing his two collegues to get their stuff and leave without turning around.

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted November 11, 2008 02:43 PM<p>

Sasha grinned at Illyah and stood up "Y'know I'd place a safe bet on finding Candice already asleep at her desk. Not that I blame her, we sank more than a few drinks last night...Hey that's an idea! Perhaps Meera should come out with me and Candice next time, we could defintly boost her confidence. We only nearly started one bar brawl and that was a misunderstanding..."

Turning to grab her newspaper Sasha's incessant chatter stopped as she saw who was stood at the counter. Of course after last night events she'd known he wasn't dead, but she had been quite happy not thinking about it or the fact that he had tried to take a bite out of her. There were many ways people could react when coming face to face with a known werewolf , Sasha's was probably not one of the more common. Rolling up her newspaper she marched over to him, her loose hair flying out behind her and clipped him around the head with it. Standing back she pointed at him with her now slightly squashed looking paper

"I had the day from hell yesterday and it's all your fault!"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted November 14, 2008 01:48 PM<p>

Illyah was thinking about the prospect of Sasha and Candice taking Meera out for a night of drinks and carrying on, when he noticed that Sasha had gone quiet.

He turned in time to see her swat a young man upside the head with her newspaper and was about to ask her what the hell was going on when...

No. That couldn't be Nat-

"It is you isn't it?"

Illyah wasn't exactly a hermit; he knew about all sorts of things that could happen after someone died - including having that person walk up to you thre next day. but up to now, he hadn't personally known anyone that really did it.

"I'm uh, that is...huh. Tell you what, I'm just going to have a sit down over there in the corner. Anyone wants to join me, that's fine with me."

Grabbing another cup of coffee, he walked to the vacant corner.

This should be good, he thought to himself.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted November 15, 2008 02:27 PM<p>

Nathan was rooted to the floor as Sasha moved towards him, unsure how to react or what course of action would be best to take. So he stood there like a rather pathetic rabbit, his eyes following the rolled up newspaper, a little part of him, the betrayer, would ahve shoved his tail between his legs if he had been in wolf form, but thankfully he was spared that humilation and instead merely got a thwak which quieted the cafe for a moment as people strained to hear, before it was taken as anotehr domestic and continued with their conversations.

"Well it's nice to see you to." Nathan said rubbing the side of his head "and for the record, my day yesterday wasn't all girls and giggles either."

He lowered his voice slihgtly

"Do you know how much it hurts to have a large shaft of steal inserted unceremoniously into your chest?"

Before Sasha could answer Nathan saw that Illyah was looking at him and speaking something that Nathan was only vaguely aware of. His mind was thinking frantically as he watched Illyah's figure walk back to a table. Turning to Sasha he grabbed her tunic and made his voice low so that only she could hear him.

"You can't tell anyone about me, It's bad enough that..." he nearly said Jeannie and Angua "Members of the watch know and I'm pretty sure Vetinari knows. This is something I dind't want anyone finding out about, you can't tell anyone."

Nathan was trying to sound authoritative, but he was sure that it was coming out more as a desperate pleading. Letting go of her tunic he turned and moved to hte table, sliding into a free seat across from Illyah.

"Funnily enough, I was just going to grab some food before heading t othe office. What are we doing today boss?"

He flashed an easy quick smile, that disappeared as quickly as it had come.

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	16. Chapter 16

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted November 15, 2008 04:18 PM<p>

Illyah sat with the cup of coffee half way up to his mouth. He looked intently at Nathan, not sure if he should shake his hand or not.

"Um."

Several thoughts fought for top billing and his mouth kind of opened and closed a few times as if trying out new hinges.

"You. Yesterday. That...arrow sticking out of your...um, chest. Get my drift? No? My gods man! You were dead! What the hell happened? "

That last bit came out as a forced whisper, hidden behind the still unmoving cop.

"Not exactly something you get over, is it? Can't just pull the arrow out and walk off into the sunset, can you? 'Oh what? This? Nothing but a flesh wound!'"

Illyah suddenly felt bad. He knew that people often found this thing a bit unnerving - especially when it was happening to them. He really couldn't hold Nathan resposnible for this...could he?

"I uh, that is we were, uh, going to go pay a visit to the Fools this morning. I'm not exactly sure on how this is supposed to work, but are you sure you want to be seen...er, working? I'm all for having you back and ripping doors out of walls and things - but someone wanted you dead, remember? If you just show up to work the next day...wouldn't they want to try again?"

Illyah was just sitting there, casual as can be, talking to a dead man. Former dead man. Previously dead but now-feeling-just-fine-thank-you-very-much kind of man. He'd let Nathan decide what he wanted to do. Either way, Illyah would support his decision.

He finally set the cup down on the table in front of him.

"And to think I almost paid for your funeral."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted November 15, 2008 04:53 PM<p>

Sasha had been about to make a very loud protest about being grabbed but somthing in Nathans voice gave her pause. Was he pleading? The big bad werewolf though she was going to rat him out?

He didn't have to worry, she wasn't a snitch and blackmail wasn't her style, far too dangerous with a nasty habit of biting you in the arse...Of course she knew something would be said between them but somehow she had expected threats, this approach had caught her completely off guard. Instead she simply nodded and shrugged, meeting his gaze she replied in an equally low voice with an indignant glare

"Of course I wont!"

Although she hadn't forgotten or forgiven the small matter of him leaping at her snarling and growling in Igors room last night. When he released her Sasha walked behind Nathans seat mumbling softly about the possibilty of him finding out out how painful it could be to have a large steel shaft inserted elsewhere if he ever tried to bite her again. Knowing full well Nathan had heard her even though no-one else could she sat down, grinned and nudged Illyah with her elbow

"How's that for dedication eh boss? The man dies and yet he still turns up for work the next day. "

Sitting back to let Illyah fill Nathan in on the day itinerary Sasha sat back and watched Illyah's reaction to his not-dead-after-all-employee turning up as if it was just another day at the office...which of course technically it was. She grinned as she tried to picture what the other reactions would be when Nathan got to work

[ November 16, 2008, 04:47 AM: Message edited by: Jeannie ]

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Jake Member Member # 5102

Member Rated:  
>posted November 18, 2008 04:37 AM<p>

Nathan had known this wasn t going to be easy, but it was starting to feel a lot harder than even he had expected.

You were going ot pay for my funeral? Ah, boss I m touched, but you can hold off on that just for the time being. About work, I don t have a great choice really, I can t imagine that Vetinari doesn t know about me being here, so if he knew that I was slacking off of work he would kill me so.

Nathan shrugs I think I d take my chances with the hidden assassins. I don t usually like to bring my personal life to work, I m afraid yesterday was a weak day and I ll pay to have the blood removed from the office.

His food arrived then and he began attacking it, true he had healed mostly, but it had taken it out of him and he was hungry as well a wolf?

The fools guild? Nathan seemed to have just realised what Illyah had said and he shivered. I think I d rather go to the assassins. Do you know that their button holes can take out an eye?

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted November 18, 2008 03:17 PM<p>

Sasha considerd this statement

"Hmmm, the Assassins or the Fools? Tough call. I don't suppose 'neither' counts as an option? No? Ah well, dosn't hurt for a girl to ask"

Trying to ignore the ravenous way Nathan attacked his breakfast, Sasha leaned back in her seat and gathered her hair back from her face in her hands. She looked at Illyah

"So boss, I'm guessing that this is going to be another big haul? Can we use the tiny killer golem again? That was bloody brilliant!"

She let go of her hair which promptly cascaded back around, and infront of, her face. She pulled the folder towards her that Illyah had set down on the table. Flicking through it her eyes widened when she saw the total amount owed and she looked up at Illyah with a grin. Standing up she flopped the folder back down with a soft slap sound as it hit the not so polished wood of the cafe table and rubbed her hands together. Alot of zeros meant alot of loot

"I'll go organise some coaches!"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted November 19, 2008 07:15 AM<p>

Candice woke up and checked the time. It was past starting time, and no one was here. Candice grinned, and went back to sleep.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted November 19, 2008 05:12 PM<p>

Illyah still couldn't believe that he was talking with Nathan a day after he'd been killed, but this was Ankh Morpork after all. Anything could happen.

He was pretty sure that the Fools would be easier right now than tackling the Assassins, although that meant that the Assassins would get another day to prepare for their arrival.

As Sasha went to get the coaches sorted out, Illyah remembered that candice was probably at the office.

"Well, nice to have you back with us Nathan. I don't get it...but nice to have you back."

As soon as Nathan was ready, they'd head over to the office, meet up with Candice, probably spend some time reviving her after the intial shock and then find Sasha and the coaches.

"We might just need your golem again."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted November 22, 2008 03:05 PM<p>

Despite having been brought up in a rural village Sasha had never done well with horses, after failing to get any movment out of the huge animal that was going to pull one of the coaches despite pulling the reins, cursing, slapping it's flank, yelling in it's ears and dodging a few stratically placed hooves Sasha decided it would be easier to let the stable lads handle it.

"Stupid animal" she muttered at the horse as she walked past it to climb onto the coach. The beast responded with a suspiciously well timed flick of it's tail in Sasha's face. Glaring at the horse, which she was sure was smirking at her, Sasha hauled herself up next to the driver and they set off.

It didn't take long to arrive outside the office, Sasha jumped down onto the street and went inside.

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted November 25, 2008 02:07 AM<p>

Candice looked up when Jeannie entered the office.

"Good afternoon" she said dryly, then grinned. "Where is everyone?"

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted November 26, 2008 04:31 PM<p>

Sasha grinned as she bounded through the office door "See, I knew you would be here. I should have bet some money on it"

She sat on her desk, her feet swinging.

"I havn't a clue where Meera is, I swear you can't see her unless she wants you too. Illyah and Nathan are just finishing up at the cafe, they shouldn't be long. We're doing the Fools today, so I've just got us a couple of coaches from the palace stables but I have my suspicions about that big black horse...he looks shifty"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted December 07, 2008 10:43 PM<p>

"Horses are always shifty" Candice grinned. "you just have to know how to..." Something jeannie had said pushed through the cotton wool that currently wrapped Candices brain. "Wait...what? Did you say Nathan? "

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted December 08, 2008 05:48 PM<p>

Sasha carried on swinging her feet

"Yup, I said Nathan. I know he was dead yesterday, but now...he's not" She smiled and shrugged as if that was all the explanation that was required.

She stifled a yawn with the back of her hand and stretched away the aches that her impromtu night on the desk had left her with.

Footsteps could be heard approaching the office from the street...

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted December 08, 2008 11:48 PM<p>

Verurteilen walked down the street, she was thirsty, the longing for blood was nudging her, but she set it aside, for now, at least, she was planning her escapes in her mind, all leading to dead ends, knowing that she was trapped in this city no matter what she did

She had not realised where he had been headed until she caught a scent of familiar blood and she looked up to discover that she was standing beside the bloodied chalk out line of Nathan's corpse, looking further up, she caught sight of a couple of people through the tax office window..Sasha, she believed one was called, and.. a shudder ran through her spine as she recognised the girl in the iconograph that the mysterious figure had shown her

The shudder continuing its way through the rest of her body, Verurteilen could not help but look to the abandoned building that loomed across the street, a few stroies higher than the tax office, well, no way that she was going back in there, willingly, even if Maurice's cold corpse still resided in side, it would not be long before the rats got to him, Verurteilen turned to walk back down the opposite way that she had come

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted December 16, 2008 03:00 PM<p>

Kayla awoke that afternoon feeling refreshed and much more awake. Obviously she had been so tired that her arm, which had a strange numbness to it that was not pain any more, hadn't bothered her. standing slowly, she traipsed up the stairs and sat on the landin, watching the dust floating in the air absentmindedly for several minutes, until a clatter alerted her to Ed stuffing a broom in the cupboard along the hall.

Kayla stood and stretched before sauntering over to Ed and giving him a thumbs up

"How's you?"

"Finished!" said he, with an exuberance that seemed suspiciously enthusiastic. "fancy going back to that tax place?"

the comment surprised Kayla, she thought the experience had frighteed Ed, what with all the people, but on thinking about it she decided that the hype that had drawn the crowd yesterday must have died down. after all, it's not like anything overly extraordinary was going to happen again. With a nod, and a smile of thanks, Kayla grasped Ed's wrist and led him out of the house, letting go to allow him to show the way. as they walked, Kayla made careful not of each turn they made, in the hope that she eventually would not have to follow ed round the city like a cowed dog. Rounding a corner that Kayla was fairly sure she recognised, they found themselves on the street that fronted the Tax Office, and on the toes of Verurtelien.

"H..hello" stammered Kayla, stepping back smartly to allow Ed off the woman's foot. "Fancy meeting you here." She gave a weak smile in the hope that she would not be reprimanded by the hassled looking Verurtelien.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted December 16, 2008 05:47 PM<p>

The sudden pressure on Verurteilen's bad foot made her involuntarily hiss and draw her blade. She heard Kayla's familiar stuttering voice and calmed herself before she could harm a child. Placing the blade back, Verurteilen straightened up and looked down at the two as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, hello, Kayla," she mumbled in a worn out tone, "and..," she sought out to remember the boy's name, "..Kayla's boy friend," she settled with that, "I assume you are vell?" she said, vaguely gesturing to the girl's missing hand

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted December 21, 2008 02:11 PM<p>

"er... yeah.. thanks"

something Verurtelien had said made Kayla replay the brief exchange in her head

"Oh no, this isn't my boyfriend. This is Ed. Ed, this is Verurtelien. She...erm... found me. First that is. Then Sasha took over. Then you I suppose..." Kayla had the feeling she was rather neatly stuffing both feet in her mouth simultaneously, so stopped talking. To her surprise it was Ed that made their farewells.

"see ya then" he said and wove his way accross the street, around the last vestements of black and yellow tape and through the door to the Tax office, letting Kayla run along behind him to catch up.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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	17. Chapter 17

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Jeannie

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>posted December 21, 2008 02:28 PM<p>

Sasha looked up as she heard people approaching, to her surprise it was Ed, Sasha hadn't been living at the boarding house very long but she was familiar with the lad who seemed to carry out the jobs Mrs Berger didn't want to do herself, which apparantly included, well everything really. Followed not long after Ed was Kayla, Sasha smiled in greeting

"Hey, you're looking better now. What can we do for you?"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Jock

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>posted December 21, 2008 02:49 PM<p>

Kayla felt a little disarmed by the question. she wasn't entirely sure hwat she was doing jere either, she just fancied coming to hang out, see what was going on. She said so to Sasha, and stepped further into the doorway, casting light on the other occupants of the room.

"erm... who's that?" she pointed at a man standing next to Illyah...

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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adie

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>posted December 21, 2008 11:10 PM<p>

"But dead people stay dead!" Candice insisted, not believing what she had heard, but three exceptions pushed their way though to the front of her mind.

"Nathan didnt have the right peersonality to come back as a zombie." she told Sasha. So that leaves..."

Candice cut herself off when the door opened, and the girl missing her hand walked in. However, teh possibilities still ran through candices mind. The only way anyone could have ended up alive after being shot the way nathan was, was if they werent human to start with. She doubted he was a vampire, so that left... She grinned at the thought of Nathan naked in the office. ah ha.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

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>posted December 27, 2008 02:45 PM<p>

Illyah was glad people were keeping their heads about all this, but he was aware that if they were going to hit the Fools today, they would have to get moving.

"Alright, listen up. Although I like the smash-bang-rip method of entry that has worked well so far, I think this morning we may have to use a different approach."

"Sasha was good enough to arrange for coaches, and I'm sure Nathan, I know we're all glad to have him back with us this morning, still has his golem around here somewhere. But," said Illyah, producing an umbrella from his desk drawer, "we'll also need a rock and a very long stick."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted January 01, 2009 06:59 AM<p>

The approach to the Fools Guild was carried out as quietly as possible; by now the tax office would be under pretty heavy watch and any movement was most likely being reported through a network of shop owners and street urchins.

They had all left with the coaches going off in different directions to confuse any tails. It wasn't until they hit the corner of God and Baker streets that they all came together again.

"I remember an alley just behind the building over...there. Let's go, but keep an eye open."

Many years ago, Illyah had been tasked with following up on a report from the guild concerning a minor theft. The experience cost him a new uniform.

"Stay behind me, this could get messy."

Ducking behind a trash bin, Illyah hefted the rock in his hand and then lobbed it at the door used for deliveries.

It landed almost perfectly on the mat and there was a faint 'click'. For several seconds nothing appeared to happen until from above, a section of wall detached from the building and smashed on the ground where the mat was.

"Not real stone - but still..."

Taking the long stick that he had found, Illyah extended it as far as he could, only having to take an extra step to hit the doorbell.

From around the doorframe itself, specifically from the stone carved flowers that decorated it, a foul smelling liquid sprayed out in a fog. Even from this distance the effect was immediate; Illyah was starting to regret his big breakfast.

"And now for the last obstacle."

Approaching the doorway and opening the umbrella as he did so, Illyah opened the mail slot in the door - being careful to remain behind the cover of the makeshift shield.

"Good morning! We're from the Tax-

Three 'pies' flew out of the mail slot at some considerable speed. Impacting the umbrella, they showered bits and pieces around. Illyah had a good idea now where Dibblers 'day old' stock went.

"Um, did I mention we have a golem?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted January 07, 2009 02:32 PM<p>

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

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>posted January 08, 2009 05:38 AM<p>

Candice didnt want to go to the fools guild. She HATED the fools guild. But it seemed like Illyah had a plan.

Still, she stood there, nervously watching. The golum didnt make her feel any safer, either. She ducked the pieces of pie that bounced off Illyah's umbrella, then became even more nervous as the seconds ticked by. WHY hadnt she spoken up earlier?

Eventually, the door to the fools guild opened, and a small, sad looking clown stepped out. Candice screamed, and fainted.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Mrs Wizzard

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>posted January 08, 2009 08:49 PM<p>

Verurteilen gave a half hearted shrug as Kayla and the boy walked off, and began, once again, down the road

It was then that a gentle breeze blew, and she caught two scents that caught her attention, one was of death, obviously from the cemetary, but the other she recognised all too well, and in a second, she was off

She found her way easily, having lived in this city for quite some time, and followed the scent to the open vault, where she had suspected it to come from

Stepping inside, there was total darkness, but she followed down, deeper into the vault, her footsteps echoing hollowly on the ground, until the scent became strong, though she could just barely see the figure, and she sighed

"Grave robbing a new hobby of yours?" she asked the dentist

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Tooth Fairy

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Member Rated:  
>posted January 09, 2009 08:00 PM<p>

Damn! Talbot thought he was well hidden, but then he found even he could see clearly enough in the dark of the vault and well, what a surprise, he had encountered that vampire again. Anyone would think she was stalking him. There was a nudging sensation. It was as if the amulet and ring were warning him to pull himself together. He coughed.

I thought I d heard someone in here and had come to investigate. It was probably just a rat or something, he mumbled.

Please let that sound convincing! Change the subject! Change the subject! he told himself.

I need to be getting back to work. And, yes, wait a minute, weren t you a new patient or something? Hang on, I ve got it! You were going to come and see me for a check up. Got to look after those teeth, you know. They need to last you your lifetime.

The vampire s presence was discomforting and he didn t want to spend any longer in that vault alone with her than he had to. What was it about her? Well, apart from the fact she was a vampire, of course. Talbot started to walk towards the door.

Must get back, he repeated, hurriedly.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

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>posted January 09, 2009 11:53 PM<p>

Verurteilen was not convinced in the least by his excuse, she could feel the tension in the man's voice

His obvious lie was not the only thing that had Verurteilen suspicious, there was something else, a more super natural feeling, she thought, and was about to say something before he intervened, and began to walk towards the entrance

"Vait," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him from walking out, she was not going to let him get away, this time, "you are right, I vas planning to come and see you, vut I vas busy at ze time," she smiled inwardly, to herself, priding herself on her quick thinking, "vut now I appear to have a free moment, perhaps, if you are not too busy vith other patients..?"

[ January 09, 2009, 11:55 PM: Message edited by: Mrs Wizzard ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted January 14, 2009 11:29 AM<p>

Illyah jumped when Candice screamed, but knew better than to turn his back on the clown.

"Keep your hands where I can see them if you don't mind. Like I said, we have a golem and we're not afraid to use him."

He hoped that sounded menacing enough.

"As you are probably aware, we are from the tax office. Today is your day. Nothing personal you know, just business."

The face of the clown looked up at Illyah; the paint portrayed a sad little figure. Close up though, the pure hatred was clearly visible.

Illyah turned sideways so as to be able to talk to the others while keeping the little man in sight.

"Alright folks, let's get this over with."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Tooth Fairy

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Member Rated:  
>posted January 16, 2009 07:42 PM<p>

Before he reached the entrance, Talbot felt the vampire s hand on his shoulder. It was a powerful grip and somehow cold. At least, it sent a chill through him and he had a strange flashback a stormy night, a coach, blood It was over in a moment and Talbot mentally shook himself.

Ye gods! She was going to take him up on that offer of a check up right now! Well, he couldn t really refuse and, besides, she didn t know what he d been doing in the vault. Oddly enough, the urgency and pressure he d been feeling from the amulet had gone. He sensed hmmm what was it something was hiding. Better not to think about it. Vampires could pick up on trains of thought in essence, if not in detail.

Yes, of course! he replied as cheerily as possible. I was about to return to the surgery and, as the first appointment isn t due for a while, I would be delighted to fit you in. Besides, I d really like to take a look at those fabulous incisors! You don t see such works of art every day. Not even with the sort of clients I usually get.

Talbot was feeling more and more his usual self as they left the vault, although there was still an odd sensation tingling along his spine as they walked.

I m not sure if Igor will be available to assist me he began, when just behind them he heard

You called, Marther?

Where did you come from, Igor? I thought you were helping a patient in the base- er, recovery room?

Thhe s rethting, Marther. Tho I took the liberty to run a few errandth. Then you called.

Good grief, the man s everywhere!

Oh, oh, I see. Well, perhaps you can return to the surgery with us and assist me with this young lady s check up, then.

Talbot may have been a habitual daydreamer but even he couldn t mistake the suspicious look Igor had briefly cast in the direction of his companion. Hmmm. What did that mean, he wondered.

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

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>posted January 17, 2009 12:39 AM<p>

Verurteilen released her grip at the dentist's cheerful response, and smiled

"Excellent," she said, with the same level of enthusiasm

As they walked, Verurteilen felt a change in the man, something was obviously unnerving him in her presence, something..supernatural, she thought

At the sound of Igor's voice, Verurteilen, turned, not showing the least bit of surprise of the man's sudden appearance, she caught his look, well, his whole face seemed to always give a look, but she could read expressions, quite well, and gave him one of her own, almost as if there was some kind of an inside secret between the two of them

"Hello, Igor," she said, still cheerfully, and giving a slight nod, "I see you are vell,"

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted January 21, 2009 09:58 AM<p>

Illyah stepped through the doorway fully expecting the rest to follow him, but before he took another step there was a very solid sounding 'clunk' behind him as all went dark.

The clown had closed the door behind him.

Before he had time to protest, Illyah felt something being pulled down over his head, a hood or bag of some sort.

Someone grabbed his arms and pinned them behind him, while a cord was wrapped around his feet, then his wrists.

He had no idea how many there were, but they were quiet while they worked.

"What do you think you're doing? I am here by authority of Vetinari himself! I am the Tax Officer!"

More hands grabbed at him and he felt himself being lowered onto a table of sort; he was being wheeled down a long corridor.

"I demand you release me at once! I am a city official!"

The table stopped moving. He could hear the others quietly leaving the room.

From a long way off, a voice was heard..

"Eee eee hahahaha, wooOOOoohooooo haaahahaha...*cough*...ahahahaaaaaa."

Footsteps now - getting closer.

"Tell me Mr Kuryakin...why so serious?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

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>posted January 23, 2009 02:03 PM<p>

Illyah felt the table being moved again down a hallway with a great many twists and turns. Surely the guild building wasn't this big?

His new aquaintance was mumbling and whispering to himself as he pushed Illyah along. Without moving about too much, he tried to work out the knots in the rope, unfortunately what little movement he did make made the ropes tighter.

"Tut, tut, tut now. Trying to get away from me? You'll only hurt my feelings...or break a wrist. People break alot of things when I'm around."

Illyah had never heard the voice before.

"Listen, my name is-"

"I know who you are Mr Illyah Kuryakin, formerly Sergeant Kuryakin of the City Watch. I know a good many things about you and your lot."

With a final bump, the table came to a halt. Illyah was aware of the...clown? walking away. He was also aware of the lights being turned down or off.

He felt a drip of water hit his hood. And another...another...

From somewhere close by came the scratch and patter of a great many tiny claws.

Well, buddy, looks like you're in it now huh? Dark, damp, rats...

"Where the hell have you been? What just happened?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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	18. Chapter 18

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Mina Harker

Member Member # 4188

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>posted January 23, 2009 02:24 PM<p>

"Oh sh-!" Meera exclaimed under her breath as she saw what was happening. Unlike the others, she had managed to slip in through the guild door unnoticed before it had slammed shut.  
>She followed Illyah and the clowns to a dark and dank underground room and lurked in the shadows until the clowns had gone.<p>

"Sir?" she whispered.  
>She moved over to where Illyah had unceremoniously been dumped and removed the hood covering his face.<br>"Are you all right sir?"  
>She produced a rather lethal looking dagger and set about working loose the ropes around his wrists and legs.<p>

"I can probably get us out of here.. but I think those darstard fools will be back soon."

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted January 23, 2009 07:48 PM<p>

Yeth Madam, said Igor, I m very well thank you. He noticed the look she gave him but, unless you were someone who knew Igors well, you wouldn t have noticed the tightening of the jaw as he lurched off just ahead of them, leading the way.

It as only a short walk from here to the surgery and they were soon inside. Igor sidled into the room to prepare the implements and heard Talbot and the vampire walk casually behind him. His master seemed back to normal again, that is, for a given value of normal. Only Igor could tell that Talbot seemed bemused about something. This wasn t his usual daydream. Hmmm. Perhapth the Marthter knew thomething about thith lady. Igor thertainly did.

Do take a seat, er I don t think I recall your name, Madam, ventured Talbot. He indicated the patients chair in the centre of the room and waited for both a response and for the vampire to settle herself into the seat. Ah, to be looking at those teeth any time now.

Talbot barely noticed the gentle warmth emanating from his inner pocket onto his skin. He felt at home somehow

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

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>posted January 23, 2009 09:28 PM<p>

Verurteilen followed both Igor and the dentist, it was not long before they were inside, and she followed the two as they slipped into the room

"My name is Verurteilen von Ubervald, as I believe you vill recall," she said, "earlier, if my memory serves me, vell, you claimed to have been my family's dentist," she said the word in such a way, that suggested that she had some memories tied to it that she would rather just forget

Verurteilen sat down in the patients' chair, feeling the strangest sensation of de ja vu, and then it hit her

She was in a dentist's office, sitting in a dentist's chair, with a dentist

...oh, damn, she thought, as her hand gave an involuntary, nervous, twitch

[ January 23, 2009, 09:40 PM: Message edited by: Mrs Wizzard ]

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted January 25, 2009 04:31 PM<p>

Illyah didn't know how Meera had found him, or how she had gone undetected by the clowns, but he was more than glad to see her.

"Meera! I don't know how you did it, but let's get outta here. If these guys get a hold of the others there could be trouble."

The scratching of tiny paws was getting louder.

A voice, the one from earlier, echoed down the long dark passage.

"Hungry, my pets? Let's go find you someone to have for lunch."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted January 26, 2009 01:54 AM<p>

Random people in the street rushed to Candices aid when she fainted. Most to make sure she was ok, and some to try find her purse. Candice came to almost immediatly, and slowly sat up. Her hair was still perfect, and she had managed to avoid getting her dress dirty, but that was normal for Candice.

"what happened? she asked?"

You fainted when the clown came out." one of the closest people said.

"Ah. Stupid clowns. " Candice got to her feet and looked around, wondering where Illyah was. She wa about to ask, when she spotted the small sad clown standing nearly. Candice stepped back as he approached her, trying not to faint again.

"Miss should accompany me inside to her boss" he said in a sad voice.

"No, i think i'll wait here." Candice replied, looking around nervousy.

"Your boss INSISTS you meet him inside." The clown was getting pushy. He reached out and grabeed her arm. Candice jumped as if she'd been shocked.

"Dont touch me!" she hissed, trying to remove his hand, but couldnt as he was surprisingly strong. He dragged Candice through the entrance. The door slammed shut behind her. Candice glanced back at it, wildly, scared witless, then turned around...There were so many clowns, so she fainted again.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted January 26, 2009 06:21 PM<p>

Talbot barely noticed the vampire s nervous twitch as she settled into the leather chair. He was too absorbed with looking at those teeth. He d barely had a glimpse previously. Barely why did that word give him a shiver down his spine again? Bared teeth a memory flashed across his mind and fled into the recesses of his mind as he shook himself, coughed awkwardly and took the implements dutifully handed to him by Igor.

Open, please, he said, in his chirpiest dentist s voice. Slowly but surely, the vampire warily opened her mouth to reveal a set of magnificent fangs. Gosh! Those were really something! The shape was absolute perfection. They seemed like old friends. Well, maybe friends wasn t quite the word he was looking for. His neck suddenly felt hot. Even the amulet and ring seemed to twitch, albeit subtly, in his pocket.

Oh, my! Oh, my!... He exclaimed in horror!

Igor spun round. The vampires eyes, closed up until this point, opened suddenly at the exclamation.

You haven t been brushing properly! Those molars are yellowing and even your incisors, beautiful as they are, have started to lose their pure whiteness. I m afraid I m going to have to give them a thorough clean and polish. You re not too sensitive are you? Even as he said it, Talbot realised it was a rather foolish question to pose to a vampire. Igor simply rolled his eyes and sighed. Martherth!

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

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>posted January 26, 2009 10:21 PM<p>

Despite the unwelcome return of a childhood fear, Verurteilen opened her mouth at the dentist's instruction, closing her eyes tightly, and gripping the arm rests of the chair.

She was vaguely aware of the strange supernatural feeling that seemed to radiate from Talbot as he set to his work, but her overwhelming fear of the dentist pushed it aside for the moment. For now all of her energy was focused on trying, though unsuccessfully, to concentrete on less worrying things than someone messing about with her teeth.

At the sound of his alarming exclamation, the feeling was suddenly at the forefront of Verurteilen's mind. Her heart pounded louder than a drum, and her eyes snapped open. Her gaze flew to Igor, who seemed to be just as alarmed. Her mouth open more in terror at this point, she looked back at the dentist, and he explained the reason to his outburst.

Every muscle in Verurteilen's body immediately relaxed, and she seemed to deflate a bit in the chair. Her heart slowed down to a speed that would not force it out of her chest. She felt as though the end had just been burned on a fuse of dynamite, only to find out that it was a dud.

"No," she said, breathlessly, in response to Talbot's question, "no, I am not too sensitive,"

Especially, not after that, she thought. By this point, an earthquake would not have riled her as much

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted January 27, 2009 08:05 AM<p>

Candice was relieved when she opened her eyes to see that the clowns had gone. However, the fact that she didnt know where she was worried her.

Damn this fear of clowns!

Candice figured if she hadnt fainted, she wouldnt be in this predicament. But clowns scared the crap out of her. As far as she knew she hadnt had a bad experience with them...she'd never trusted them though, even as a child. Possibly it was the facepaint...she couldnt read their faces through all that paint.

Candice looked around where she'd been dumped, and sighed. Even a gaol had better conditions than this. The room was tiny, and stank. There was something that looked like it used to be a matress dumped in the corner, and nothing else. The door, as suspected, was lost.

Candice sat down, unsure of what to do.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted January 30, 2009 01:11 PM<p>

Illyah was able to stand upright, so the room he was in had to be at least 6 feet tall. It was too dark to see much detail in anything, but he could make out the form of Meera next to him.

The scratching and scraping was getting closer; not wanting to be around much longer, he tried the door.

"Unlocked. He must not have thought I would be able to move around too much."

Opening the door caused it to creek like something only found in the deepest dungeons.

"Might as well have sounded an alarm. Meera, there's a tunnel out here, let's see if we can find the way out."

Illyah hoped that she would be able to see better than he could in the dark. Something told him that she had untold talents in the whole stealth, creeping around in the darkness bit.

"Are these more doors? Oh, great...it's gonna take us days to find the right one."

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted January 30, 2009 01:18 PM<p>

Candice was bored. And hungry. She'd considered banging on the door to demand food, but really didnt want to see the clowns.

This whole thing made no sense. Why were they keeping her here?

Candices eyes had slowly adjsuted to the lack of light ,and she realied the room was filthier than first thought. She knew her situation could be a lot worse, but didnt quite know how.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted February 06, 2009 02:57 PM<p>

Illyah and Meera stood in the dark hallway as the sounds of scratching got louder and louder.

"One rat, I don't mind. Lots of rats are different."

Illyah move ahead carefully and tried a door handle. Locked. Shuffling forward and keeping a hand on the wall for support, he found another and tried that handle.

Locked.

For all he knew, these were just rooms like the one he came out of; there was nothing to indicate and exit.

"What do they do with all these rooms?"

Not very quick on the uptake, are ya? How did you ever get through life before me, huh?

"I did... do just fine thank you very much!"

Then he realized.

"What? Are you saying they keep people down here? Prisoners?" the possibility was there; he would have been a prisoner of sorts if Meera hadn't come to his rescue.

Taking another step forward, Illyah reached out a hand and rapped ever so gently on the door in front of him.

He listened for any kind of reply.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 07, 2009 09:49 PM<p>

Candice could hear some muted voices, then the sound of someone knocking on a door nearby. Hoping that it wasnt one of the fools, she started pounding on the door infront of her.

"Get me outta here!" She screamed, hoping they'd hear her.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted February 08, 2009 02:35 PM<p>

Wel this was a fine mess, Sasha grumbled as she hoisted herself up onto a pile of unidentified sacks. One of them squeaked forlornly under her weight.

I turn my back for one minute and they all bloody vanish!

So in an effort to locate her mysteriously dissapeared colleagues Sasha was scouting the perimeter of the Guild and had managed to discover a set of grubby windows that looked promisingly easy to open. Holding the nearest sill Sasha pulled herself up and squinted to try and see inside.

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Tooth Fairy

Moderator Member # 4920

Member Rated:  
>posted February 08, 2009 03:25 PM<p>

Reaching behind him, Talbot took the cream and polishing equipment from Igor who was ready for him. Igor was a conscientious and practised dental nurse , for want of a better phrase

The procedure went ahead without incident. Talbot was a gentle but thorough dentist and the vampire barely seemed to react to the process.

I ll just finish with a final polish of the enamel, said Talbot. With teeth of this quality, I ll use my special new buffer tool. It was delivered only a week ago and I ve been wanting an excuse to use it.

Igor seemed a bit uncertain but he shook himself and opened a small drawer in the table behind him and pulled something out of it. It was very shiny and obviously new. He handed it to Talbot who immediately let out a howl of pain.

Aaargh! The implement fell to the floor with a high pitched tinkling sound, almost as if it were singing to itself. Igor bent to pick it up and took a sharp intake of breath.

Are you alright Marthter? he said, his eyes full of concern. Talbot lifted his hand and there, across the palm, was a red weal. It burned me! he exclaimed. It burned me! He looked at the object, maintaining a safe distance. Oh! It was shiny, new and made... of silver.

I think you need to finnithh for the day and retht your hand, Thur. Igor s tone was firm and Talbot knew he was right. Igor usually was.

I m sorry, Madame, he said, turning to the vampire. I ll have to finish there. I seem to have injured my hand. I m not used to that particular item. I d better have my hand bandaged and rest it for today. Your teeth look excellent now anyway. You didn t really need the finishing touch really. Thank you for your custom. Perhaps you could arrange to come back and see me in a few months time for a check up?

Igor was already starting to apply a bandage to Talbot s hand. Talbot was aware of the feeling of heat emanating from his pocket and a sudden need to be alone. He hoped the vampire wouldn t notice anything and just leave quickly.

Igor will see you out and book you in for next time.

[ February 08, 2009, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Tooth Fairy ]

-  
>"The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana." - Ape Philosophy<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted February 09, 2009 10:36 AM<p>

Illyah jumped when the banging started. There was no telling which door it was coming from, but he could almost make out a voice calling for help.

He turned to ask Meera - but then, was she gone again? That girl had the ability to disappear at will!

Careful not to make too much noise, Illyah moved from door to door, trying handles and listening for that voice.

The scratching noises had stopped, but from somewhere deep in the darkness, he could hear that clown again.

"Woo! HAhahahHAHAHa!"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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	19. Chapter 19

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 09, 2009 05:37 PM<p>

"Damnit!" Candice screamed, the squeal in her voice reaching new heights. She kept thumping the door, needing to get out of this room. This was not how it was meant to go!

Candice didnt realise that she'd started crying, and she'd stoppe banging on the door as hard. She was getting so tired...

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Mina Harker

Member Member # 4188

Member Rated:  
>posted February 10, 2009 07:32 AM<p>

The banging noise had startled Meera, and she immediately melted back into the shadows, as she was wont to do when danger presented itself. After some pause, however, she realised the full implication of the situation.  
>Who knew that the clowns kept Prisoners? - I knew that there was something slightly sinister about them, but this?<p>

Meera made a decision. She unrolled her lock-picking kit and set about working to open the various doors.

'I reckon we have allies in these prisoners, Sir.' she whispered. 'I don't know how we're going to get out of here, but we have an opportunity to help people here, and besides, there's strength in numbers.'

Mirabell worked swiftly, and one by one the doors swung quietly open.

Another thought occured to her.  
>'Erm.. Sir?' she asked as if she was trying to work something out, 'who were you talking to just now?'<p>

[ February 10, 2009, 07:36 AM: Message edited by: Mina Harker ]

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 10, 2009 07:52 AM<p>

Candice gave up, and leaned up against the back wall. Her fists hurt. MAybe she'd be in here forever...

Then the door clicked open. She crept up, and pushed the door open slightly, to see who was there. Was it a trap?

Then she spotted Illyah, and Meera.

"you guys took your time" She said, in typical Candice fashion, but the relief was evident in her face. "Thanks. Now can we leave?"

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted February 10, 2009 04:24 PM<p>

No matter how hard she tried the grime stopped Sasha from seeing through the glass. With a frown Sasha took out her trusted knife and began to jimmy the window which to her surprise popped open surprisingly easily then catapulted a small pie past her head. Rolling her eyes at the non-humerous booby trap she stuck her head through the window and slid into the small room. Landing fairly soundlessly she crept over and opened the door a crack. The hallway seemed quiet and deserted and very faintly a familiar voice could be heard shouting from the floor below. Keeping very quiet Sasha snuck along the hall until she found a set of stone steps leading lower down. With her knife in hand she crept down, the hairs on her neck standing on end when a manical clowns laugh echoed from somwhere else. Her boots had barely touched the bottom of the stairs when something furry ran across her boot

Don't scream, don't scream, don't...

Her mouth didn't seem to want to listen to her brain and with an embarrssingly girly scream Sasha ran further down the dark corridor.

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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Mrs Wizzard

Member Member # 4522

Member Rated:  
>posted February 10, 2009 11:54 PM<p>

Verurteilen eased back, feeling calm, now, as it was only a false alarm, and she let the dentist get on with his work, only trembling slightly every now and then, her fear temporarily set aside

She stayed calm as she watched Igor retrieve the new tool for his master. It looked odd to her, and she could smell silver, which set her a bit on edge. She gasped as the dentist took it and yelled out in pain, immediately dropping the tool onto the floor. The burn mark on his hand looked as though someone had set fire to it. The supernatural feeling that she could not quite place was also escalating, and the man seemed to be radiating heat. She looked back at the thing on the ground, and she felt a need to get away from it

Powerless to do anything else by this point, Verurteilen simply nodded, and followed Igor out of the room, leaving the dentist to tend to his wound. She stopped just before the door to leave, and turned back to Igor

"Zank you for you services, Igor, and zank Mister Grume, for me, vill you?" she said, then she shoved a hand into her pocket and produced a small bag of gold, which she placed in Igor's hand, "also, give zis to him for his trouble, for me, vill you? His fine vork should not go unpaid."

I vonder just how much he knows, she thought

"I hope Mister Grume is..all right," she said, saying the last two words in such a way that it suggested a double meaning, "if zere is anything I can do, please let me know,"

With that, she turned, and stepped outside. She began to walk down the street, and was several hundred yards away, before she reached into her cloak to hold her blade for the little comfort that it could give, only it was not there

Verurteilen froze in her spot, and began checking her pockets. All of her other knives were accounted for except for that one. That was odd, she remembered having it before she stepped into the dentist's office. She must have dropped it, or it must have fallen out of her pocket, somewhere. She sighed sadly. Though, it was just one blade, and she had many others. Sad, though. She had liked that one. It had proven to be useful over the past years that she had it. She had even etched a "V," into the hilt

Oh, vell, she thought, sadly, I vill just have to do vithout it she thought, and continued on with her slow walk through the shades

-  
>"Talk to the paw, mister, 'cos the whiskers don't want to know!"<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted February 12, 2009 07:13 AM<p>

Illyah looked toward Mina as she spoke; well, he looked in the general direction at least. Her cape let her melt into the background and as usual she was almost invisible.

"Talking to...? Was I?"

Just then Meera opened a door and Candice appeared from behind it.

"How did you...I thought you were all still outside."

Thinking for a second longer, Illyah felt his heart skip a beat.

"We need to find the others. Now! The entire office had been out there in the street! If the fools had a plan to take us down, it could happen today."

He began to think if there was any way that someone outside could know what was going on.

"That girl...Kayla? Was she there with us?"

The coaches could be hidden easily enough from the public, but if someone could raise the alarm...

Just then a faint light appeared at the end of the tunnel, casting the outline of a figure standing alone.

"Ummmm, excuse me. Hee hee hee...HA! Planning on...ahhhh...going somewhere?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 12, 2009 07:38 AM<p>

Candice repressed a queal and hid behind Illyah.

"Whats the matter girl! Dontcha like clowns? Dont we make you laugh?" he laughed manically, and danced towards them.

"can we go?" Candice asked, looking down the other end of the corridor.

The clown got closer, and Candice sunk to the ground. Then the inhabitants of the other locked rooms started to emerge...

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted February 12, 2009 12:03 PM<p>

Running screaming down a dark corridor might not have been the most logical reaction to having a rat touch your foot but it made perfect sense at this moment in time to Sasha who ran through a door and collided with a dancing figure. With no time to react she ploughed into the figure sending her crashing to the floor ontop of the person, who on closer inspection turned out to be a clown

Slightly dazed Sasha looked around and saw Candice, Illyah and Meera.

"Huh? What are you guys...? Did I hit my head?"

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 13, 2009 03:45 AM<p>

The sight of Sasha landing on the clown was funny, ans Candice started to laugh. Maybe clown were funny. Then the clown glared at her, and she stopped. Nope, definatly not funny.

"Doesnt matter" Candice replied to Sashas question. "But lets get out of here, shall we? Back to the office to come up with a plan that doesnt get uus kidnapped."

The other occupants of the cells were slowly creeping towards Sasha and the Evil Clown. They looked...they looked like they used to be clowns. But now their facepaint was all but gone, and their once brightly coloured clothing was ill fitting, ruined , and brown. Some of them looked like they'd been locked up or a very long time. They scared Candice even more than the evil clown. While their faces showed nothing, their eyes looked wild. And all of them were staring at the evil clown, and the clown only. it was like sasha didnt exist...

"Sasha move! They cant see you, you dont have a 'real' face! Come on!"

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jeannie

Member Member # 4480

Member Rated:  
>posted February 15, 2009 10:52 AM<p>

Huh? What are you on about? Of course my face is real...

Sasha barely had time to object before Candice grabbed her arm and pulled her up and away from the dazed looking clown. Looking around at the creepy figures around them Sasha shudderd and backed away

Um, I think Candice has a point...let's get out of here

Quite how they were going to get out here was unclear but what had been made painfully clear was that the Tax office had already made some powerful enemies, this was undoubtedly not the only guild who wanted them out of the way.

Escaping from bad situations was something Sasha was far too experienced in, she looked around for any potential avenues of escapes

Any ideas guys?

-  
>"Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"<p>

"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."

Posts: 2840 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2006 | IP: Logged

adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 16, 2009 06:51 AM<p>

Candice faced her fear, and got close to the clown to drag Sasha away. The prisoner clowns attacked the one on the ground.

"How'd you get in?" she asked the others.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted February 18, 2009 01:44 PM<p>

Illyah wasn't going to be any help with back tracking his entrance...

"Right after the door closed, I had a bag thrown over my head. I don't know how far I was pushed or exactly where that room was...I'm all for digging our way out if that is what it takes!"

Leaving the clown and his 'friends' behind, Illyah tried to lead the group as far down the tunnel as it would lead.

"Sooner or later this thing has got to end."

Illyah was beginning to think they had walked half way to XXXX, when he spotted what looked like light spilling through a slight crack in the ceiling of the tunnel.

Looking closer, he saw that the crack was almost a perfect square...with a hinge no less!

"This is our way out!"

He hoped they were all still with him, and was about to turn to the group when a voice could be heard overhead.

It sounded a lot like an Igor...

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted February 18, 2009 02:16 PM<p>

Kayla had been in a bt of a daze at the tax office, and had simply watched the tax collectors walk past her. she was vaguely aware of them talking abou fools, when Ed tugged at her arm and pushed her out the door. The pair ran trying to keep up with the coach, but soon fell behind.

"Well, we know they're goin' th the Fools guild, so there's no poin' runnun'" Gasped ed as they slowed to let a cart go past them into a side alley. They walked the remainder of the way, but when they arrived at the guild they noticed a definite lack of coach or Tax Officers. They wandered round the guild, wondering if they'd gon in a back entrance when a rusty hand holding an empty pie tin rushed out from an alcove and smacked Ed in the teeth. He let out a loud curse and promptly spat out a tooth. Kayla stepped back, but was clouted from ehind by another rusty pie-in-the-face mechanism and foud herself covered in mouldy Pie.

"Theeth! Thtupid foolth thould bloomin' well keep thith plathe thafe fer yer inothent Morporkian to walk through" lisped Ed through a face full of blood, falling to the ground beside a pile of crates partially coverin a manhole cover. Kayla, dripping with the mouldy remains of what could only have been custard sat down beside him and extracted a piece of linen from a non-custard covered pocket. Handing it to the still cursing Ed, she pulled out another to start mopping herself up. she could hear voices very faintly, seemingly from below, but shrugged it off as noise from the street...

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted February 22, 2009 05:01 PM<p>

Illyah tried to grab the edges of the manhole cover, but there was nothing to hold on to. Deciding to push instead, he gave a jump and pushed up on one corner with his fist.

Stuck.

He could just make out the voices above and barely caught movement through the gaps.

"Hello! Hello up there! Can you here me?"

Giving another push, he thought there was the slightest movement.

"We're down here!"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted February 22, 2009 05:11 PM<p>

Kayla jumped as the manhole cover they sat behind suddenly moved and she heared shouting. standing up quickly, she and ed pulled the crates, they were empty, off the cover and heaved it open. to their astonishment, below them were three dishevilled Tax Officers. Kayla held down her hand to pull them up.

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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6.5.0 


	20. Chapter 20

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 23, 2009 07:14 AM<p>

Candice was so happy when the manhole was opened, and was the first to end up back in the street.  
>"Thankyou" she told the one handed girl who had helped her out, then reached down to help the others out.<p>

Once everyone was standing in the street, she addressed Illyah.

"I'm heading home on stress leave" she told him. I might be back tomorrow."

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted February 24, 2009 05:02 AM<p>

"Stress leave? We have stress leave?"

Illyah was busy brushing off the remains of the tunnels from his clothes.

"Sounds good anyway. Let's call it a day, but I'd like to take Sasha with me to see if we can recover the coaches. The rest of you get some rest. I'm glad you're all safe."

Looking down at Kayla and Ed, Illyah was taken back by the picture they made.

"Kayla, maybe you should get your friend to a dentist. That is, if he wants to go."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil and scribbled out a quick note.

"Here, take this note to...ah...wha's the name again? Tabolt? Tulbort? Finkleweis? Talbot! That's it, Talbot! Take this note along with your friend and get him looked at - and don't worry, the tax office will pay the bill."

Then, he added, "By the way, dinner is on me tonight if anyone is interested. Eight o'clock? Usual spot?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 24, 2009 06:47 AM<p>

"I dont care whether it exists or not" candice said, pulling out a mirror. "I was kidnapped by a clown. Theres no way im working the rest of the day."

Where is the normal place?" she asked, putting the mirror away with a shudder. "cause i'll most likely meet you there."

Candice figured she'd go home, have a wash, and head back in. But before all that, she needed a word with her father...

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted February 25, 2009 05:42 PM<p>

"You know...the place...it's over on, uh..the corner of..."

Illyah couldn't form a sentence to save his life.

"Look, how about we all meet at the office and go from there. Sounds like a plan?"

With that, he turned and walked in the direction of the guild. With any luck, they'd find the coaches intact and ready to be driven out of there.

It wouldn't be that easy would it?

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted February 27, 2009 03:35 AM<p>

"Done" Candice said, then walked off. She managed to keep her composure til she got home, then collapsed in a heap just inside the door. Her fateher rushed over almost immediatly.

"What happened?" he asked, picking her up.

"I was kidnapped by clowns!" she howled, hugging him tightly. "We...we were auditing the Fools Guild..."

The look on Stephen Meehans face would have killed whoever was looking at it, but he kept his voice level, as Candice was sobbing into his shoulder. "It'll all be ok." he soothed. "Dont worry about it anymore. Just go upstairs and clean yourself up. I'll get one of the maids to run a bath."

Candice straightend up, nodded, and ran upstairs. Stephen signalled to two associates who had followed him to the entrance to come with him into the office. This should never have happened to his daughter.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted March 02, 2009 03:41 PM<p>

The coaches were gone.

He almost expected that, but realizing it was still a blow. He'd lost the coaches, the money and the element of surprise.

When he came back here, he'd need the entire Watch to back him up.

How was he going to explain this to Vetinari?

"Fine. Just fine. I'm going home for a bath."

The walk back to his place was a long one; he kept trying to think of ways around this, but sooner or later he'd have to file the report.  
>Sinking into the warm tub, Illyah closed his eyes drifted off...<p>

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted March 03, 2009 04:56 AM<p>

The figure walked down the alley, leading the horse by the reins. At this time of day, most people were more concerned about getting home and weren't too aware of others around them. Finding the door he wanted, the man removed the rope from the pack on the animals back and carefully tied it the harness. Leading the other end to the doorknob, he tied a good knot, taking care not to step on the door mat.

Lighting up a cigar, he stood there for a moment enjoying the aroma and savoring the taste.

This should be good, he thought to himself as he touched the lit cigar to the horses rump. With a surge of fury the animal took off at a gallop as the rope played out on the cobblestones. As it went taught, there was only a second of hesitation before the knob, door and most of the frame was ripped out of the wall.

Before the dust had settled he was inside, walking down the hallway toward the sounds of laughter, crying, ringing bells and honking horns. Sounds that could only come together in a place like this.

A man with the painted face of a perpetual smile ran towards him with a bouquet of flowers squirting acid. At the last second, he caught the clown around the shoulders and slammed him to the ground - but not before catching some of the acid on his shoulder.

Not taking the time to look or react, the man reached into his coat pockets and pulled out the bottles of liquid; lighting the wicks stuffed into the top of each one, he hurled the flaming bombs into a couple of open rooms before turning calmly and walking back out through the gaping hole where the door had been.

By the time he reached the street, smoke was pouring out of the windows on the second floor and clowns ran around the street in various states of undress. Not one person saw the figure as he continued his slow walk home.

Illyah awoke with a start. He had fallen asleep in the bath and now the water was cold and murky. As he tried to sit up, a bolt of pain shot through his shoulder. His hand came away with some blood on it.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted March 03, 2009 07:10 AM<p>

These were the nameless men. The men no one ever remembered seeing, because to remember would only lead to trouble. They did the work that normal people thought of, but would never do. They were referred to as mindless thugs. They were anything but.

The men stared up at the building, watching the smoke pour out the windows. Someone had gotten here first, but they had no idea who. Stephen would want to know this.

Still, they werent going to return empty handed, and entered the building. Most of the clowns were rushing out of the burning building, trying to find some way to put out the fire. But the men also saw the fools that were running further into the building. they followed, and wound up at the vault.

The fools didnt know what hit them. One moment, they were trying to save their fortune. They next, they were putting it together as a delivery for the Tax Office.

The men dragged the head of finance with them as they left, while the head of finance pleaded with the fools not to do anything funny. If the cash didnt make it to the tax office without incident, then he wouldnt make it back.

"And make sure you deliver flowers!" one of the men yelled at the fools left behind. "Real, non booby trapped flowers!"

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted March 04, 2009 03:05 PM<p>

Illyah stumbled over to the small shaving mirror that he used and tried to get a look at his shoulder.

Was that a burn?

Must have happened in the tunnels, he thought, although he couldn't remember injuring it then.

Dressing the burn the best he could, Illyah continued to dress for dinner. He was actually looking forward to this; he hadn't been out for months. Work didn't count.

Finding his coat, he headed out the door and took a slow walk to the tax office. he'd have to see an Igor sooner or later, but tonight he wanted to relax a bit.

Turning the last corner, he was met with a most interesting sight.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted March 10, 2009 06:25 AM<p>

There were dozens of clowns, all climbing over each other as they piled up sacks of...money? in front of the doors to the Tax Office.

Off in the distance a plume of smoke was rising into the darkening sky, turning grey as water was thrown onto the fire.

Illyah stood there for a second, watching as the small sacks kept arriving, each one accompanied by a very distressed and soot covered fool.

As he took a few steps forward, one of the clowns spotted him and shouted a warning to the others. Most of them scrambled out of the way, a couple froze in place - a look of fright on their unpainted faces.

"We don't want no trouble, sir! We're just doin' as we was told...it's all here! Promise!"

Not knowing what else to do, Illyah opened the front doors of the office and began hauling the bags inside. This was the city after all and without an armed guard outside, the money would soon find itslef in other hands.

He turned to speak to the closet clown, but found the man wouldn't make eye contact with him.

" 's not right! Not right at all! We're a proper guild and all...you got no right doin' what you did!"

Illyah straigtened up and chuckled a little as he spoke.

"Not right? My good man, I've been tasked by the Patrician himself to collect all the back taxes owed to the city! Not my first choice of jobs, I'll admit, but if I'm going to do it, it will be done correctly."

The fool seemed to react to the mention of Vetinari, but remained cowed and slunk off when Illyah had stopped speaking.

Dragging the last of the bags inside, he checked the clock and saw that he still had some time before meeting the others for dinner.

Taking the first of the bags to the coutning machine, he poured into the top and turned the crank.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

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>posted March 10, 2009 07:48 AM<p>

Candice arrived at the Tax Office, but wouldnt go anywhere near it, because of the amount of clowns around. What was going on? Then one of the clowns spotted her, and skipped over, holding a boquet of flowers. Candice squealed and backed off, trying her hardest not to faint, cause thats what got her into trouble last time. The clown continued to offer her them, and tentativly, she took them. To her surprise, nothing happend. In fact, the clown seemed scared of her...

Spotting a clear parth to the door, Candice made a break for it. She hovered in the doorway, and watched the clowns dissapear, leaving behind many bags of money.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted March 16, 2009 06:36 AM<p>

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Jock

Member Member # 5653

Member Rated:  
>posted March 16, 2009 07:27 AM<p>

******I promise to edit this post and turn it into a real post... sorry *******

-  
>Sybil:Do you remember when we last went on holiday, Sam? Sam: That wasn't really a holiday, dear. Sybil: Well, it was very interesting, all the same. Sam: Yes, dear. Werewolves tried to eat me<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted March 16, 2009 12:53 PM<p>

Illyah finished sorting the first bag and returned to grab another when he saw Candice standing in the office.

"Oh, hi there. Didn't hear you come in."

He motioned with his hands to the piles of money and added, "Don't ask. I don't know what happened either. I just saw them climbing all over themselves to deliver it when I came around the corner."

Realizing he still had more time, Illyah took another bag from the pile and began walking back to the sorting machine.

"You're the first to arrive, so I guess we have some time. Let me just get a couple more in..."

Again, he turned the crank on the great machine - and again a fine line of dust poured out from the bottom into the bucket, unseen by either of them.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

Member Rated:  
>posted March 17, 2009 07:52 AM<p>

"They gave me flowers" she put the bouquet of flowers down on a table. "Why would they do that? I dont trust them"

She watched her boss feed a few more bags of money into the machine, still believing that there was somethig wrong with it. She was sure it wasnt meant to be this loud

Everything was feeling really, really, wrong.

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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	21. Chapter 21

Terry Pratchett Message Board: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG

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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone! This topic comprises 34 pages: 1 2 3 ... 31 32 33 34 Author Topic: A Taxing Time - A Discworld RPG Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted March 25, 2009 01:29 PM<p>

"Well, whatever they were thinking, this has sure saved us a mess of trouble. I wasn't looking forward to asking the Watch for help."

Looking up at the clock, Illyah saw it was past time.

"I imagine the others have decided to pass on dinner."

Dropping the empty bag onto the pile that was growing on the floor, Illyah offered his arm to Candice.

"Well my dear, looks like it's just us. Shall we go?"

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

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>posted March 28, 2009 01:02 PM<p>

having a second thought about the others, Illyah hand wrote a note to leave on the front door.

It read:  
>Meet us at Banakafalata's Steak House on Cheap Street just down from Keeble's Job Shop.<p>

Seeing the look appear on her face, he explained to candice that Banakafalata used to be the head chef at Sham Harga's House of Ribs.

"That is, until an unfortunate episode involving a dwarf, a troll and a disagreement over proper seasoning. After the kitchen was rebuilt, Bana decided he wanted his own place."

Closing the door behind them, Illyah made sure it was locked tight before walking off.

Inside, the last few grains of gold dust fell from the machine, collecting on the considerable pile. There was the faintest little *snik* as the flooboard under the bucket unhinged and the whole thing slowly sank under the floor.

A few seconds later, the bucket returned - empty.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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adie

Member Member # 5613

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>posted April 05, 2009 07:08 AM<p>

Candice was still a bit concerned about her Boss's choice of resturant...she hadnt even heard of Hargas House of ribs. But if it was below her level of dining, she wouldnt stay long.

Candice was quite suprised by the quality of the food, even though the place looked - and smelt - disgusting. She even appreciated the fact that the people here left her alone.

"I know someone who can look at that counting machine" Candice said to Illyah as she tucked into her steak - well she hoped it was steak,anyway. "I'm pretty sure its broken."

-  
>Video games dont affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids we'd all be running around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music...<p>

-Just a thought...

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted April 22, 2009 01:15 PM<p>

Illyah was also glad for the quiet dinner. He was afraid that someone would recognize either Candice or himself and start trouble.

The food was good and he enjoyed the company; Illyah wasn't exactly a social butterfly.

"Fix the machine? Hmmm, I guess. Wasn't paying attention. I'm just glad it works at all; most of the things we had in the Watch were hardly what you'd call in working order."

For some reason, mentioning the Watch gave him a slight pang of home-sickness. He had been comfortable there and hadn't planned on leaving - at least not so suddenly.

Studying the other guests eating at their tables, Illyah noticed one man averting his eyes rather quickly.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted May 19, 2009 03:51 AM<p>

After walking Candice home, Illyah decided to take the long way around to his place; this meant passing by the Tax Office.

As he got closer, he saw a piece of paper tacked to the door. Thinking it was left by the clowns, he took it down and read -

Delivery made on time. Left parcel in the usual place. Thank you for your service. Hope you approve.

He really had no idea what to make of this and, not seeing any parcel on the steps, unlocked the door and stepped inside.

A single lamp was flickering on one of the desks and there, neatly wrapped in plain brown paper, was a small package addressed to him.

Hmmm.

Tearing away the paper revealed a very intricate and beautiful - and also very gold - shield. It appeared to be the offical shield of the Tax Coordinator! It was about 6 inches high and less than a half inch thick; too big to be worn, too small to be placed...

Wait a minute.

Illyah turned and looked at each of the desks in the office. He remembered the beautiful gold inlay that each had - since his first day, he had wondered where they had come from and who had commissioned them.

Walking closer to his own desk, he saw the carved space on the front. Holding the gold shield up to the opening, he could see that it would fit perfectly. In fact, it did fit perfectly. Stepping back, Illyah admired the work.

The thing that bothered him about this was the lack of a name or title on the parcel, no name on the note - and now - where was the gold coming from? Who had extra gold just laying around in such quantities to make beautiful and anonymous gifts such as these?

Illyah had been in the Watch a lot longer than he'd been the AM Tax Coordinator. He was more or less used to the idea that Watch officers often received certain...uh, gifts, from the general public. Some were in appreciation for a job well done, or for simply looking the other way at just the right time. It's the way things were done.

However, if he was a bit quicker on the uptake, he would know that accepting 'gifts' while working in the capacity of a city official could be seen as a bit shady.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

Posts: 3081 | From: California | Registered: May 2007 | IP: Logged

Thumpy

Member Member # 4984

Member Rated:  
>posted June 16, 2009 04:38 AM<p>

Illyah lay in bed staring out into the night sky, like he had done every night for the last few months. He didn t get around much these days and lately the pressure in his chest was becoming more pronounced. Vetinari had seen to it many years ago that he would receive the best care available when the need arose and the hospital that resulted was a fine addition to the city.

In the corner sat a new caretaker; he d never seen this one before and could just make out the very pale features and the piercing blue eyes. The man was very quiet Illyah hadn t even heard him enter the room.

It would be a nice night for a walk I reckon.

YES. YES IT WOULD.

The Tax Collectors Office had been closed for good a year after Illyah and the team resumed operations. They had been able to collect every penny owed from the guilds in a fairly short time, and despite a few set-backs, always bounced back in time for the next job. The threat of reopening the office had been enough to keep the tax dollars coming in regularly.

Of course, resolving one little mystery had helped the reputation of the office immensely; after some prompting from Candice, Illyah had the counting machine checked and found a built in fault; every coin counted was shaved just a bit around the edges. The resulting pile of gold dust was removed by a weight activated system and carted off by way of a contract with certain shady types.

All that decoration around the office was from the gold dust. A short investigation showed that the previous collectors had sought to use the decorations as a kind of retirement fund shorting the city of thousands in tax dollars. Too bad they all mysteriously disappeared on a trip to the Assassins Guild.

Under Meera s rule, the assassins had become more of an asset to the city and had been instrumental in thwarting a major attack on the good people of Ankh-Morpork.

Sasha and Candice had, against all odds become the best of friends and for years operated a school for the less fortunate children of the city. Several had gone on to prestigious government positions

Nathan had remained a mystery. Illyah figured he did it on purpose. Last he knew, Nathan had undertaken a job in Genua in something called special operations.

I didn t know he d become a doctor.

Geesh. How did you ever make it this far? Thick as a post sometimes.

It was getting colder, but he really hated being in the bed. Just a chance to walk the streets again that s all he needed. Fresh air, get the pulse up, pump those legs he d be right as rain.

I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME.

For a walk? I d really like to walk around for a bit.

A WALK? CERTAINLY. HOW FAR YOU GO IS UP TO YOU.

-  
>Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -Terry Pratchett<p>

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